It is all about choices
It is all about pain
It is all about acceptance
It is all about sincerity
It is all about happiness
AnasAbdin
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if i look back, i am lost
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DEAR READER
Stranger Things
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
I'd rather be in outer space đ¸
we're not kids anymore.

#extradirty
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@rulsoulconfessions
It is all about choices
It is all about pain
It is all about acceptance
It is all about sincerity
It is all about happiness
I did not make my friendship a choice even frm the start.
Never was i blunt about everything. Saying one thing and doing the other. It is sad to see this goes this way. I am never any one choices to begin with.
After going through a heartbreak, i have to go through a relapse phase. Whereby my loved ones proceeding with life which involves my ex. Proceeding with their so called friendship. No doubts 8 yrs is long enough for someone to create the bond and endearment feelings developed. But for someone who has broken me into pieces? For the fact that she has no remorse and still wants to take my 'life' away? For the fact that i received no apologies and nice gestures after the whole saga of her new boyfriend attacking me. She has the cheeks to contact my sister and proceed with whatever plans she has?
How fair is that to me? And how is that relatable to whatever i am doing now? Which is me getting to know my sisters best friend. Her best friend whom she cherish and adores so much. I got to know her and we eventually got together. My sister doesnt approves on that. She relent. Her agony, her anger and hatred towards every move we make is deep. She felt betrayed. How is that fair to me? Here i am creating a new relationship planning to create a stronger bond between them both jus went to the drain. She refuse to accept any explanations and find that betrayal is a good word to describe everything. She felt betrayed because her best friend chose me to be part of her life, going thru ups and downs.
Now she compared both situations and put me in a spot that so called to her, makes me feel wat she felt.
Worthiness of life
They can judge you, say one thousand and one things about you but it is god who defines & created you and only you are capable of handling yourself. You are stuck with your stubborn ass brain, emotions & actions. So make sure every move you make does not make you a complacent human being but a good one!Â
Being in the current situation you are facing does not define how good or bad you are. It is somehow fated and appended into your life for a reason. A reason to strive to be different and better each day. A reason to make you think harder and manage it well. A reason to live each day knowing you have made mistakes and you are managing it well and solving every inch of it on your own, but of course you have friends and family around you to assist and give their full support.Â
It is your choice to share it or keep it. It is your choice to leave it as it is or move forward with hands full of confetti and throw them up in the air. It is your choice! So wake up and make that choice on how you want to lead your life!
Definitely a difficult paragraph to start with.Â
âLove didnât hurt you. Someone who doesnât know how to love hurt you. Donât confuse the two.â
Truth
Finding out the truth hurts. Especially when it comes from someone you used to love or moving on from. I have been avoiding her social medias for a reason; to prevent seeing the truth.Â
The truth that she currently has moved on with the man of her dreams. The truth that i am never in her mind. The truth that she is happier with him. The truth that he could provide her non stop attention, laughter, and joy. Bonus of giving materials and satisfactions. Looks like she found her perfect match.Â
The truth that i am hurt and i feel useless and as low as i could be right now. I wish love is everything which i could be delusional and stupid. LOVE is not everything and is never everything. The fact that i could not provide for her is another thing. I have my reasons for not doing that. From the start of this 8 years, that has been the motif which im not comfortable with. I provide when there is a need to not when she needs it for her own selfishness.
She is the 1st person i knew who is hypocritical, selfish and materialistic.Â
I do not wish to see her or know more about her escalation. it kills me every single seconds.Â
Lost
A month ago I've lost her. I ignored the red flags for about a year and finally it happened. It was my choice to leave because she seemed persistent with her choice duhhh. She chose her Mr right. Which she is so proud having because he seems the best for her. Initially she told about him but deny and keeps saying he is not her type. Eventually they got together because of sweet words and pick up lines guys used to conquer a womenâs heart (this is what i believe in). Nonetheless that phase is over and now it is the time for me to actually move on.
It felt like i never knew her. She is a changed person. I am actually quite surprise she managed to change to be worst because throughout my entire 7 years of relationship with her, all i did was good stuff. NOW She is boastful, condemns LGBT, she is proud of her so called change. She never acknowledge me or respect me at that point when i was trying to win her back. She is just not the girl i knew. She even created a hashtag for them both. Privatized her IG profile and that makes me realize how unimportant i was back then to her. While she is a confused LGBT individual back then, it is shocking to see how much she loves me and how much she wants the whole world to see us happy. But now, everything changes 360 degrees.Â
I was devastated, but i move forward with a heavy heart. It was uncalled for because usually she is the one who loves me too much. You know that phrase u got sick n tired of âi love u too muchâ it means nothing to her eventually.Â
I am proud of her change! She has the guts and karma is all on her. At least i uphold my feelings for her even how much she actually hated me now. Or i must say, how much she despise LGBT.Â
Enough about her. Now it is about me and i will continue soon after i got hold of my own feelings after this episode.Â
Till then. Ciao!
#cate please stop trying to kill me
Cate Blanchett as Lou Miller in Oceanâs 8
the gayest scene in cinematic history
Cate Blanchett in suits is my sexuality
Cate Blanchett as Lou Miller in Oceanâs Eight ⨠⨠â¨
tbh I donât think Iâve ever gonna be over this suit
Oh god
Have u ever feel like you wanna tell her something but u dnt know wat is it and u just cant tell her yet coz actually knew it and u jus deny it. I think. Blearghhhhh!