it’s been more than 7 months i’ve been away from tumblr, i wasn’t sure i’d ever come back really - my life has somehow been overwhelmingly busy since - but SOPHIE’s death has just shaken me to my core and i’ve been struggling to grieve in isolation without access to the community of people i used to have on here. i just ... can’t believe it.
being from glasgow too, id begun to here SOPHIE’s music at all of the Numbers nights i used to go to around 2012. i remember Bipp appearing as this sacred, secret, sweet track that nobody quite new where it came from but we were fiending to possibly hear it when we were out. a little bit into 2013 id begun to find out more about SOPHIE and was obsessively listening to the scraps of what was available like the jimmy edgar mix on a mary-anne hobbs radio show that had Bipp in it and i had even ripped someone’s phone recording of a very early live set of her’s from the Old Blue Last in London. i even had an issue of Dazed and Confused from May 2012 just for the tiny, tiny feature on SOPHIE that also pictured her then.
hearing Bipp was otherworldly and brought from me a joy and a craving for the excitement and possibility of the future that i thought i could never experience. it confirmed that there were things to stay alive for.
my memory is failing me but i know i saw SOPHIE dj in january 2014 in the (now demolished) sound control in manchester - and i specifically remember this because i saw her and the girl who would become the face of QT hanging out, and thinking, i wonder if that is SOPHIE’s girlfriend?
far later in 2018, when i had just moved back to manchester and was working the worst and most upsetting job ive ever had - an airport bar- so i was getting up at 2am to walk in the darkness through some bad areas just to get to a bus to get me there for 4am. Oil of every pearl’s un-insides came out and i remember the first time i ever listened was on this awful commute. in the darkest and coldest part of a summer night i heard the record, specifically Is it cold in the water? and i was changed and given hope all over again.
there is too much to say, about everything i felt for SOPHIE and the times i had seen her. and other’s have expressed her genius far better than i could, but i feel like i need to write this for myself to being to accept what has happened.
i’ve been back at my parents house in scotland for almost 7 weeks now because of lockdown - i was originally coming up for 2 days - but once im back in manchester again ill have access to my old laptop and phone and share some old photos of seeing SOPHIE and some atrocious quality mp3s :)
i’m going to create a side blog to share the things ive been cooking and drinking while i’ve been away too. and i probably need to come up with another url.
but im happy to be back and i missed you all so much <3 oliver
