Running Chicken

My name is Joanne. Recent events in my life has sparked this foray into blogging. I think this will be a mixed bag of what’s important in my life - fitness, health (also mental health), job searching, travelling, and whatever else interests me!

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Catching up with old friends.

Best feeling in the world.

Ahh! Almost missed #blogeveryday, having too much fun! Will need to post a better blog tomorrow :)

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Sports & Keeping Active

Although I’ve been overweight for most my life, I’ve also always been strangely athletic. So, imagine this chubby, out-of-shape girl huffing and puffing while running, but also catching the ball to score touchdown after touchdown during PE class. Also imagine that fat girl that climbs over the obstacle course with gusto, and completing it when none of the other girls even tried.

So.. that’s all! Keep active, it makes you happy! I like swimming, cycling, and team sports like netball, basketball and american football. Not running though, I hate that with a passion. Gross.

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10 posts! Thanks tumblr!

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Depression and Anxiety

I’m an introvert, always kept to myself and was never one to express my feelings or thoughts to others. This trait really contributes to mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety.

I think I’ve always had both depression and anxiety. I’ve had a blessed life - loving family, caring friends, but I’ve never truly opened up to anybody. I think they might see glimpses of me falling apart, but no one really dares to asks about it or simply do not know what to do or say. Having a mental illness is definitely not a way to gain attention because I shy even more away from people when suffering especially bad episodes. Which maes it much worse btw. You are supposed to express yourself and get people on your side who understand.

I have not officially been diagnosed. I don’t claim to be a mental health expert at all from my self-diagnosis. However, mental illness is such a taboo subject in my area. I went to a counselor that said there was nothing wrong with me, and a doctor than ran blood work and found nothing out of the ordinary. When I brought up depression, he was quick to dismiss it, saying, “are you sure you want to go there?”, because having depression means a lot of trouble in a society where mental health is not understood by many and there aren’t many interventions in place. 

Honestly, what else could it be besides depression and anxiety. The general feelings of apathy, sadness, and loneliness were overwhelming. They crushed the life out of me.

I’ve turned it around now by forcing myself to be involved in worthwhile activities, volunteering, sports, and even something as simple as meeting friends and family. It took a grueling 3 months to get where I am now and I would not wish either disease on anyone. 

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Education and Job Goals

I graduated university last year with a BSc in Biology and Psychology. I had the time of my life in terms of the courses I studied, my classmates, my research supervisors, and even the outreach team we had organized to promote our program to prospective students.

BUT there was never a clear end goal in mind. Even now, I don’t have a particular passion or dream job. I’m one of those “jack of all trades, master of none” type of people. I enjoyed biology and psychology, and I was good at getting the grades for all my courses (save a few like physics and orgo). So when it came time to graduate and find a job, I was really lost. University did not teach me what to do for my future, and I did not take advantage of resources like career counsellors, which my school provided for free.

It’s taken me a burnout and a failure at my first grown-up office job to really reflect on what I REALLY like and could do as a career. I hated my 1st job in corporate communications and marketing, and saw no meaning in it after working for 3 months. I know, embarrassing right? Working only 3 months and feeling like I had failed BIG TIME (this was coupled with the fact that I struggled with depression and anxiety at the same time, something which never hit me so hard before and I had no idea what was happening at the time.

I quit at the start of July. The months of July - September really drained me, sucked out the love of life. I remember during the last few weeks of my job, during lunch times, I’d sit by myself in the library during lunchtimes and read up about why to quit your job, burning out, depression, mental illness, anything and everything to make me understand why it was happening to me.

I had a cushy job, good money, fun colleagues for the most part, and easy work. My direct boss was good at her own job, but a weak communicator and lousy delegator. I had no idea what to do for the first month I was there - she told me she doesn’t “do deadlines”, just tasks as they come up/as needed and she would assign me work from time to time. I think they were trying to ease me into the job since it was my first one out of college, but I finished all my tasks quickly and was left staring at the screen for most of my day. She then came back after the first month saying I was not at the level she expected. How the f*ck was I supposed to know when she wasn’t giving me any work and/or feedback? Long story short, I got better at faking my way through the job for the next 2 months at the job. I’ll finish a task, leave it till closer to the deadline, then hand it in, rinse and repeat for all tasks, just to make me look busy. 

I was good at the job but I’ve never hated something so much because of how it affected my personal life and well-being. 

Never again. Now I know what I want to do. I’m going to find a job in child development or working with children. Just something that will be meaningful to me.

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5 Steps to opening myself up to others

1) Take everyone off the Limited Profile and Restricted sections on my FB page.

2) Initiating and engaging in more conversations, no more social loafing!

3) Getting more involved in my community (I love volunteering with kids).

4) Getting involved in team sports (I’ve always loved teamwork and competition, I’ve played flag football, netball, and basketball).

5) Saying YES to more things.

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Running Chicken

Why running chicken?

No particular reason, I just like verb and nouns username combinations!

Or... you could see it as me trying to get fit and healthy (though I despise running, although I have mad respect for people who do, I actually want to run a marathon eventually, it’s on my bucket list). 

As for the chicken part, lets just say I WAS a chicken/coward but I’m striving not to be anymore!

Now you know :)

[motivateyourselfeachandeveryday]

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Watch: This is why you should never go as another culture for Halloween.

Follow @stylemic

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Fitness & Weight Loss

This pretty much occupies all my time now since I’m jobless. Honestly, fitness and weight loss are what motivated me to start this blog. I’m no expert, and all my understanding comes from reading up on research and from my personal experience. I don’t foresee it taking over the blog, only right now because I’m passionate about it and because I’m hating that my friend is involved in herbalife (lets call my friend “J”).

If you don’t know by now (which I’m sure some don’t since my smart friend J is throwing himself completely into the “business”), herbalife is essentially an MLM or pyramid scheme (this term comes directly from J). They sell a crash dieting method - using shakes as meal replacements.

Let’s just say, as someone that has struggled with weight all my life and have done a lot of research since the start of the year because of my resolution to lose weight and get fit, it pisses me off that J doesn’t know what he’s doing and is selling MLM products and a crash diet fad to more of my friends. 

The basic concept for weight loss is easy, and companies like herbalife are exploiting and preying on people that have not done the research, want a quick but harmful fix, and some people just do not know any better. All this under the guise of “HELPING PEOPLE”. The concept for weight loss is easy (calories consumed < calories expended*), but there are numerous ways to lose weight. There’s no magic solution because many things work, you can control your diet, count calories, adopt a low card/keto/paleo lifestyle, and many many more. I’m just disappointed in my friend J for dissing my sustainable weight loss methods and selling a stupid quick fix that sets people up for failure (i.e. because you replace your meals with shakes, you never learn good eating habits. If you ever stop consuming the products, you are EXTREMELY likely to gain the weight you lost back).

As for me, I started at 75kg in January, did the weight loss journey somewhat seriously from January - June, was down 11kg, put on 3kg because of personal issues from July - September, and picked it up again in October. I’ve lost 2kg in October, so I’m down a total of 10kg. I’m now 65kg & 158cm (sadly I’ve lost hope for ever growing taller, darn you short genes). I now want to lose another 10kg before going on to my next goal of maintenance and building muscle - but that’s another story for next time! I’m also promising (myself) to post progress pics when I reach my weight goal of 55kg!

That’s all for now, peace out!

- Running Chicken

*people usually get confused when I say this, but by calories expended, I mean calories burned, which occurs normally for everyone based on their age, weight, height, and activity level, but you can also burn more through exercise)

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Who am I?

Let’s kick this off with a little bit about myself. This will be a super long heart-to-heart with no one in particular. My stats: ASL is 23/F/Somewhere in asia. Haha, and here’s what I want you to know about me:

I hate talking about myself. I am (was) a pushover.

Why? I’ve been shy and scared all through my life. Don’t get me wrong, I am relatively well adjusted, I have loving friends and family, but I tend to keep to myself and I rarely let anyone in. Honestly, I don’t think anybody fully knows WHO I AM. How could they possibly though, because I don’t even understand myself and question myself ALL THE TIME. 

I thought I was content with being a timid wallflower. But honestly, that’s no way to live. Katy Perry’s “Roar” is now my life anthem. I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath, scared to rock the boat and make a mess, so I sat quietly, agreed politely... but I now want to change for the better and you’re gonna hear me roar-ish. 

I’m still going to be one of your quieter friends that might only pipe in from time to time, but I’m not going to sit quietly and shut up when I strongly disagree with something you say just because I’m scared to rock the boat. I’m going to be vocal when it matters.

I know what matters to me now, and I’ll pick and fight my own battles.

This is a long time coming, after thinking long and hard about who I am, what I want to do, and what I leave behind when I’m gone. This past year has taught me a lot about myself. Lots of up and downs that I’m sure I’ll recount sooner or later on my blog. I’m going to list them briefly so I remember to talk about them:

Graduating from university and being lost in the world

Being jobless, finding a perfect job on paper, and subsequently leaving that job

Falling into depression (death of a friend, miserable birthday, mental health stigma, and lots more to talk about here)

Finding inspiration to get fit (I’m a fatty and I don’t want to be - this was my new year’s resolution for 2015. I know, what a cliche!

Building stronger relationships with my friends and family

Travelling

Wattpad, books

Being an entitled person

Volunteering with children

Board games! Card games!

Not sure if I want to go there yet, but also religion

I’ll add to this list when I think of more :)

That’s it for now. If you didn’t get this from what I’ve written in this essay, I love writing and I’m attempting to blog everyday since I’m unemployed and not doing anything time consuming these days.

CIao and see you soon!

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Current events in my life has sparked this foray into blogging. I think this will be a mixed bag of what’s important in my life. right now, that means a fitness/health/food/sports and whatever interests me!