“No child left behind.”
“Children are our future!”
“Think of the children!”
“How could you do that to a child?”
How indeed?
Love, nurture, guidance and attention; These are the things parents offer their children in hopes that they might grow up to love and be loved, to give to others and to make their ways in life. A true parent would give anything for their child, anything to keep them safe and happy. But what of untrue parents? Of people who put themselves before their children? What sort of person do they create?
Kyle Wilson Steele was born into such a family. Cast from birth into the turgid waters of an already uncertain marriage, Kyle was the final attempt by John and Emily Steele to save their crumbling marriage. While his arrival overjoyed his mother it did very little to calm the swaying seas of rage within John. The gap in the Toronto couple’s marriage had been largely attributed to such a rage and though Emily saw no signs of it subsiding with the new bundle of joy in the home, she hoped he might temper himself in the presence of the small boy.
From the time he could understand the concept of pride in a human being, Kyle wanted nothing more than to make his father proud. He would wander through the house, tailing his father in every possible endeavor. Despite repeated rejections from the older man, Kyle was determine to win him over, his childish naivety holding out hope that one day John might crack. Instead he proved only that John had very selective hearing and more often than not preferred to ignore his son rather than spend time with him. When John did notice him the attention was far from loving, but rather more physically violent. Though his mother was aware of the violence she felt there was very little she could do. Unwilling to leave her husband for fear of social ridicule and ending up on the streets, she stood by her man. Shelters in Canada were a reasonably new concept and it was frowned upon to go to one. She comforted Kyle in the aftermath, bandaging his wounds and taking the beatings wherever possible.
As Kyle began to develop into a walking, talking six year old his mother began to grow a backbone. In the starting days of his sixth year on the planet, Kyle saw his mother stand up for him for the first time. She pushed back against John’s rage, eventually managing to wear the man down enough to have him leave to cool off. Though this was a small victory for both Kyle and his mother, it also brought new and much worse consequences. After that day, Kyle was introduced to a whole new level of hell.
The following night, John stow into Kyle’s room long after his mother had drifted to sleep. Kyle himself had also been asleep, but certainly not for long. He awoke to an overwhelming feeling of dread and concern to find his father looming over him, pants already lowered in preparation. Kyle only had time to process some muttered words before his innocence was stolen in many ways. “You think you’re safe with that bitch?”
Kyle experienced this form of torture for five years. At the age of eleven, his mother had taken ill from a bad head cold and his father had used the opportunity to remind her who was in charge. With the need to take power missing, John had no reason to continue his ‘late night visits’ at that time. The beatings returned at the tender age of Eleven, Kyle’s mind already damaged from his Father’s acts of ‘love’.
Despite the beatings and other unpleasentries, Kyle grew more and more determined to make his father proud. In his youthful mind when this goal was achieved his father’s temper would be appeased. He believed very strongly that what he received in place of love was largely his fault. Were he able to be the son his father wanted, his father would have no reason to be unhappy with him. He wished this as much for himself as his mother, who he saw as a victim in a storm he created. With his adolescence fast approaching he began to realize he was going to have to change his tactics to fit the mold his father wished for him to fall into.
At the age of twelve he began to accompany his father to the dealership and automotive shop his father owned and operated. From the first day he walked in the door he made sure to take a strong interest in the workings of the dealership as well as the technical side of the repairs. He accompanied the head mechanic frequently, learning the twists and turns of an engine. He hoped that proving to his father that he could be trusted to run the shop later in life might bring that pride he burned for out of the older man. Much like his younger days he tailed his father throughout the shop and studied movements silently, only pausing to ask the most important of questions.
A year of this tactic did see a decline in the frequency of the abuse. John seemed to take some interest in Kyle as the young man twisted to fit his idea of a son. Every day brought a new challenge, a new bit of the family business that Kyle would need to learn to impress his father. The constant fear of falling out of the man’s good grace kept him actively hunting for information on cars and the things that surrounded them. By the time he entered his thirteenth year John could have safely handed over the dealership with no concerns. Though Kyle was very proud of himself, he still stood at the receiving end of John’s temper whenever it should flair. As he had grown older he had moved to take the full force of said anger, protecting his mother and unborn sibling. Still believing the rage was his own fault he elected not to allow anything to happen to them.
Just before he turned fourteen, Kyle welcomed a baby sister into his life. Lillian Jane Steele was the most precious thing he had ever set sights on and he vowed from the moment he was allowed to hold her, John’s wrath and wandering hands would never find her. He would do everything in his power to protect her, even if it cost him his life. He aided his mother wherever possible to look after Lily. He put her to sleep in the afternoon, fed her in the morning, and changed her in the middle of the night when she would cry. He was a model big brother.
Three months after her birth, her cry broke out in the middle of the night. It was the third time she had cried that evening and though Kyle was quick to raise from his bed to venture to her room, John was quicker. Holding her firmly out of the crib, John looked furious. With a slow swallow Kyle chanced a few steps forward, suggesting to his father that perhaps he should give Lily to him. John did not reply and instead tensed his arms as though he intended to shake the crying infant. Again Kyle tried, pleading with him and explaining that he could make her stop crying. He told his father that if he could not make Lily stop crying, he would take her for a walk so that John might sleep. Somewhat reluctantly he handed Kyle his baby sister and with a few soothing motions she was sleeping in the young man’s arms. John had long stormed off to bed.
After that night Lily was moved into Kyle’s room and it became very rare that John was disturbed by the baby. During the day Kyle still spent time at the dealership and school. School had become less of a priority, taking a back seat to avoiding John’s anger and his protective duties. His grades began to suffer and more and more through his first year of high school he began to feel empty. His responsibilities began to weight on his heavily, his movements and thought process becoming slowed and effort filled. Kyle was unknowingly sinking into depression. He grasped for some solution and made every effort to make friends whom he might be able to confide in. He found only one such individual.
Jason ‘Jay’ Handley was a year ahead of Kyle. The two met at the end of Kyle’s first year of High School. Spending the summer together gave Kyle a much needed escape from time to time. He found that the more he got to know Jay, the happier he was able to make himself. Jay introduced him to new people, making Kyle feel included for once. He also introduced him to Rock and Roll. Coming from a non-musical house hold, Kyle had never heard Rock Music. He was introduced in 1971 to David Bowie and The Who and without any hesitation he was hooked on the sound. Immediately he took interest in being able to play the guitar and Jay was more than happy to teach. He was after all the best guitarist in their high school.
In the early days of his second year of High School Jay had already managed to teach Kyle how to play basic chords and riffs. He expressed to Kyle that he might have a natural talent for music and this more than pleased the young man. He latched onto the concept of becoming a great guitarist so much he began to take time out of his shop visits to play. This would prove to be a mistake. As his time in the shop became less frequent his father’s rage toward him began to climb once more. Unable to give up music, Kyle began to take the beatings he had received as a child once more, still protecting Lily and his mother. The sexual abuse also dialed right back up and Kyle began receiving nightly visits from his father once more.
As soon as John realized why Kyle would slip off so often he banned Kyle from spending time with Jay and his friends outside of school. He also forbid Kyle to play guitar or to listen to Rock and Roll. With frustration mounting between the two Kyle disobeyed his orders, choosing to skip class to play and listen whenever Jay had spare time. He saved up the allowance his mother occasionally threw him, buying himself his first guitar in the summer of 1972. He stored it at Jay’s home, bringing it home only when he was certain his father was out of the house and stashing it under his bed. He had become very skilled with it and had no intention of giving up because his father could not see his talent as a good thing.
In the spring of 1973 his father unearthed his guitar, erupting into a fit of rage at the thought that his son had ‘wasted’ hard earned money on such a useless object. Despite Kyle’s pleas for its release, the guitar was burnt in the family fire pit. It was the first time Kyle ever stood up to his father and the first time he ever dared to swing back at the man. When his father got near him, trying to attack him. Kyle struck his father in the face, giving him two black eyes. He received the single worst beating of his life for the trouble. He was warned that if he ever went behind his father’s back that way again he would not survive it. Kyle believed him.
He spent the majority of that summer with his father, working in the shop once more and ignoring Jay even when his father wasn’t around. The sexual abuse had shifted gears to happening not only at home, but in the office of the dealership as well. Though Jay suspected Kyle might be from an abusive home, John was a well-respected figure in the community. While Jay’s parents believed him, they also knew how hard it would be to prove that John had done anything. They did in the end call Child Protective Services, but nothing came of it. They did visit Kyle’s home, but found nothing out of the ordinary. John lost his temper when they left, beating Kyle fairly intensely for the trouble he was causing.
Upon the release of Queen’s debut album, Jay became completely infatuated with the music. Knowing there was no chance Kyle would be able to resist the music he collected his 8 track and player and waited just down the block from the Chevrotte-Oldsmobile-Cadillac dealership John owned, waiting for Kyle to walk home. As the other passed by him he played the music as loudly as he could, walking right next to him with a hopeful smile. When they were out of sight of the dealership, Kyle paused to listen, instantly rekindling his love of Rock Music. He vowed then that he would play, no matter what it took.
Borrowing Jay’s guitar whenever he was able he slowly rebuilt his lost skills. In the summer of 1974 Jay secured tickets to see Queen play live in New York City. Upon request Kyle declined the offer to go, knowing his father would harm him if he were to go. As luck would have it, Kyle’s father planned on attending a conference with GMC for the weekend Queen would be playing. With great effort he managed to get a message to Jay, letting him know that he would be attending. Jay agreed to pick him up and drive him across the border. Telling his mother he would be staying the night at a friend’s home in Mississauga to study, she gave him permission. With John gone Emily saw no reason not to let Kyle enjoy one weekend of freedom. She did not know he was on his way to New York.
Seeing Queen live brought Kyle’s ambitious to play music for a living straight to the surface. Watching Brian May play guitar inspired him to pursue his dreams of becoming a Rock Star. When he returned home he would continue to play and when he graduated from High School he would inform his father of his plans to return to school for music and not business. Curiously, during the concert, he felt no fear of how his father might react. He would tell him when the time was right and he had become very good at playing the part of loyal son.
Another curious thing happened that evening. While he watched Freddie Mercury own the stage, a feeling struck him which had never done so before. A feeling of attraction. Kyle had long believed he was simply not cut out for a relationship, never feeling any sort of strong attraction to a woman, despite the attention his reasonably good looks afforded him. Freddie, on the other hand, brought a bubbling feeling of wanting straight into his chest. He realized that night that perhaps he was afflicted with what his father called a ‘curse’. Perhaps he was gay.
Returning home from the concert found him in more trouble than he bargained for. His father had returned home from his conference early and scolded his mother for allowing Kyle to leave home. His father had seen through his lie and upon discovering that it was Jay he had slipped away to be around, John lost his patience. The decision that his son needed to be put in his place was made. He would see to it that Kyle earned a proper respect for his authority.
John pulled Kyle out of school, hiring a private teacher to finish his lessons. He was confined to his room when not in ‘class’ and his meals were highly restricted, all despite Emily’s protests. As an excuse for not feeding him, his father would open his door and gaze in. With a disapproving look he would scoff and tell his son that no one was going to want to date him. He was much too fat for that and in private he would tell him how ‘lucky’ he was that John would even touch him. That he was lucky his father loved him so much. He would allow Kyle scraps every now and then but by the third month of hearing how terrible he looked, Kyle could barely eat. It was during these months that Kyle started to lose all hope for the future. The locks John had placed on the outside of his door made him hopeless.
Around the time he stopped eating, Kyle started to attempt to take his own life. Starting with an attempt to cut through the underside of his arm to get to his axillary artery, he was discovered when his father made sudden entrance. Because the cut hadn’t yet been made too deep, Emily bandaged it and everything sharp was removed from Kyle’s room. The next came when he stole a bottle of acetaminophen, which he is allergic too, and swallowed half of the bottle. He was taken to the hospital and it was quietly explained away for him. A closer eye was kept on him and no other attempts could be made.
That same year Jay and his parents again called Child Protective Services. They sent another set of investigators to the Steele house, where they found nothing. While Kyle had spoken to the social workers the last time, he refused to do so this time. His fear of John’s wrath was far too great to risk telling them anything. Instead he assured them that home was fine and that he had been pulled from school due to social issues. It was the scripted reply John had given him. They left and did not visit the house again.
Kyle finished his classes in the winter of 1975. Even the private teacher had to admit that he was a bright student. Throughout his punishment Kyle had found ways to communicate with Jay, dropping letters from his window into the yard where Jay would go to get them late at night. Return communications came by way of thrown rock in the small hours of the morning. The final reply Kyle received before he stopped seeing Jay was one that explained the other was moving. His father had taken a job a few cities away and Jay wasn’t able to stay. He left a scrap of paper with his new address on it, but both Jay and Kyle knew it wouldn’t be very useful. He was never going to be able to write. At the end of the final note was something Kyle hadn’t expected. Jay had left a guitar with someone they both knew. The instructions were that Kyle should pick it up, if he ever managed to get out of that house.
In the late spring of 1976, after a long ‘session’ with John, Kyle finally managed to break the lock on the door to his room with a bag packed to leave. He slipped into Lily’s room, saying goodbye to the toddler, silently wishing he could take her too. He was thankful that as she grew John’s wrath seemed to miss her. She was his little ray of sunshine and though Kyle could not help but feel jealousy bubbling in his chest, he loved his sister too much to hold it against her. Leaving a note on the table explaining that he was leaving, Kyle set off into the night.
For seven months he roamed the streets of Toronto, careful to avoid any cars that looked like his father’s or any places his father might spend time. He collected funds by playing outside of bars and theaters, his most common home being just outside of the Royal Alexandria theatre. Though he was unable to save money, he was able to feed himself well enough to stay alive. Eventually news of his talent reached some bar owners who invited him to play for them. He collected more money on those evenings than any other. He would use that money to pay for hotels, sleeping and showering and doing his laundry.
One evening just shortly after finishing a show, he took a chance on buying himself something to drink. He knew that he would be renting a hotel room that evening, so being slightly impaired was unlikely to be dangerous. Though he had never had much of a chance to drink, he knew what he liked. Ordering a Scotch on the rocks, he was greeted to a friendly chuckle from beside him. The man sitting at the bar explained that he rarely met people who ordered scotch in Toronto, and that he himself was from England where it was far more common. Introducing himself as Ellis Simpkins, the eighteen year old asked Kyle for his story. He listened intently to the things the slightly older boy had gone through, though Kyle downplayed much of the abuse, completely omitting the sexual aspects. Though Kyle refused to talk about the abuse as anything more than the occasional beating, Ellis could already tell there was much more. As Kyle packed his money form the gig into his guitar case, Ellis asked if he could treat him to dinner sometime. Kyle agreed to meet him the following weekend at a small restaurant down the road.
Over the course of the months Kyle remained out on the street, he was subjected to many different tortures. The weather alone was enough to break a man’s spirit but combined with the fact that he was still only nineteen, he found himself in a lot of trouble. Attention from older men became a serious issue, especially when he was unable to find an escape. Beatings from both fellow homeless people and anti-homeless attackers became a constant threat as well as the ability to find the smallest amounts of food to sustain himself. He spent the majority of his time in hiding, trying to keep himself safe.
The next time that Kyle met Ellis, the younger man explained that he was a student from England. He had come to Toronto to study acting with the intention of returning to England to finish his education later. He was from a somewhat aristocratic family and thus had enough money to buy Kyle whatever food he wanted. He was shocked to see how little the other ordered.
The trend of meeting Ellis for dinner continued every weekend until the two became very good friends. In the mid-summer of 1977 Ellis intended to return to England for the summer to see his family. He offered to take Kyle with him, free of charge if the other wished it. With no hesitation Kyle agreed. Getting out of Toronto seemed like the perfect way to begin his recovery from the things his father had done. Two days later they were on a plane, arriving in London seven hours later to be driven to a very lovely looking country estate.
Upon arrival at the estate, Ellis introduced Kyle to his parents, Adam and ‘Lizzy’ Simpkins. In an instant he was accepted into their family. Kyle did not trust Adam when he arrived. He was much too afraid he would turn out to be like his father, but after the first month he found that Adam’s constant joy at life won him over. Lizzy was just as optimistic and supportive. They loved Ellis and they seemed to love Kyle like their own which was an odd concept to Kyle. After five months they offered to adopt him to give him dual citizenship, allowing him to stay with them whenever he wanted. He agreed, semi-officially becoming a Simpkins.
Ellis and Kyle spent almost a full year in London, becoming very close. Ellis even began to refer to him as his brother with the adoption pending. Over their time there Kyle discovered that on top of being a brilliant actor, Ellis was an amazing singer as well. With his octave range and the young Canadian’s guitar ability, there were murmurs of a band being formed when the two were to return to Toronto for Ellis’ continued schooling. Moving back into the small apartment Ellis had been living in for his previous adventure in school, he offered the second room to Kyle free of charge. The older man readily accepted and the two began to write songs together. It took very little time for the two to decide the band might just be the way to go.
Kyle met their drummer, Roy McCormik while wandering the suburbs one evening. The quiet taping against a hollowed bucket drew his attention and the handsome red-head did the rest. It would turn out that Roy had been playing the drums for years, starting out in Cadets as a marching drummer. Kyle inquired if he might join the band and after the three men got to know each other, a drummer was added. Roy could be a hot head, quick on the draw but Kyle found him enduring. The two had an up and down relationship but there was no denying his drumming ability. He was exactly what they needed.
Andre Hilsing, the bassist, would come a few months after Roy. Ellis often found himself attending open mic nights at local pubs, while Kyle would stay home and play his guitar. Kyle had decided to continue practice and only try for paying shows while the band was in formation. He continued to write songs, hoping that when the band was complete they might have a chance at becoming famous. While attending one of these open mic events, a young and energetic bassist took the stage, managing to rally the crowd with no accompaniment. Intrigued, Ellis approached him after the show and invited him to join himself and the rest of his budding band. Andre readily accepted and the raven-haired man was added to the band.
While out on his own, Kyle took it upon himself to start the exploration of his sexuality. He began to hear whispers of ‘Gay Bars’ in the area. Late in the evening when Ellis was either busy studying or asleep, Kyle would slip out and visit these bars, meeting up with several others exploring their sexuality. One of those men was Gregory LeClair. Greg was a one night stand, originally. Kyle made the mistake of spending the night in the abandoned house they had slept together in and in the morning spent another hour or two with Greg. The decision to stay in contact and become friends with benefits was made.
It was 1978 when the band began playing shows locally. Kyle’s former local reputation had given them an in at the pubs in the area. It took a little over a year for the small group to be noticed but when they were, there was no doubt they were going to be big. While scouting for new talent for Attic Records, a Canadian record company associated with London Records, a man by the name of Murray Smith heard the band play together. After the show he asked for their contact deals and if they might be interested in coming out to the office to be seen by an executive. They readily agreed. Murray informed then the Band would need an official title and it was decided that evening the band would go under the name All Hail.
After meeting with record officials the band was signed and locked into recording agreement. They started working on their first album straight away, generating interest in the musical community through Murray’s efforts to hype the band. They were given a recording space in Scarborough by Attic Records and the boys found themselves using it as a second home. They worked tirelessly to produce the best sound possible and with Kyle as the primary song writer heading the band, songs were well on their way to being released.
In the midst of the band’s possible success, Kyle made the choice to change his name from the birth name he was given. In January of 1979 he changed his name from Kyle Wilson Steele to Sephyr Lukas Steele. Choosing Sephyr because he liked the sound, Lukas after his great grandfather on his mother’s side, and retaining his surname in honor of his mother. Despite the fact that the woman had done nothing to stop his father’s actions, she had in Sephyr’s mind, been kind to him. There was no argument from the band, nor from Gregory, concerning the name change.
In the spring of 1979 All Hail released their first album. With nine track totalling just under a half an hour of music, ‘The Trouble with Love’ rose very quickly to being a very popular album over Canadian radio stations. The band was well on their way to being famous. With their first major injection of money, all four members began to realize what they might have there. By the winter of 1980 they had released their second album, ‘Inspire’. Their song ‘Late Night Instinct’ knocked the rolling stones from the top of the Canadian charts for three weeks solid, making them the most popular rock band of 1980. With their new found fame came the need for a tour. A tour bus was purchased and the crew was well on their way to what would amount to being a roughly twelve year long career.
Though the band stayed close together through their time on the road, an internal struggle began to war inside of Sephyr. Coming out to the band was not an option in his mind. To him, the homophobia that he had grown up with in his youth was the view of the majority and risking it was certainly not in his interest. In the early 80’s it was very rare for any celebrity to be ‘out’ and Sephyr had no intention of starting the trend. With his only option to hide, he began to seek relationships outside of the lime light. One night stands with men and a few short-term relationships began, always in secret. Nothing ever seemed to last. Either Sephyr was away too much of the other party was interested in telling people. Sephyr spent most of the tours hoping from person to person while avoiding looking to suspicious by escorting a few women to hotel rooms now and then. He would pay for them to sit with him before exiting the scene, never letting on to the band. He continued to see Greg, but he had made it clear from the start that he had no interest in a long term relationship.
In early 1880, at the end of their first tour a call came through to the hotel the boys were staying at. They were informed by the Toronto Police that someone had broken into the rehearsal space. They had made off with several guitars, a bass, some drums and several thousand dollars’ worth in recording equipment. Devastated, the band limped home following their final show of the tour. They dealt with insurance agencies and the media. Sephyr found himself extremely glad that he never traveled without the guitar Jay had given him.
In 1982, Sephyr’s biggest dream came true. During the second tour the band ventured on, which followed the release of their third album ‘Antique Story’, the band was set to be playing a music festival along-side Sephyr’s idols. Sephyr was beside himself with the thought of having the opportunity to meet the members of Queen. The day they arrived they were given the set list and a shiver of fear ran through each member of the band. They were set to play ‘after’ Queen. Discussing it among themselves it became clear that if they played after Queen no one was going to remember who they were. It wasn’t that they weren’t already somewhat famous, but this was Queen they were talking about. All three of the other band members volunteered Sephyr to speak to the much more famous band about changing places. Sephyr reluctantly agreed to do it, locating Brian May first.
Anyone who knows anything about Brian May knows that he is, without a doubt, a diva. Brian was never overly pleased with the concept of things not going smoothly and as Sephyr approached him he certainly found that out. Brian was not happy with the idea of changing the placement of the bands right before the show and before Sephyr could escape he was being yelled at by his idol. Just when it seemed like Sephyr might actually cry, the grace and beauty of Freddie Mercury arrived on the scene. It took only a touch of his hand on Brian’s lower back and a carefully placed ‘Darling, I think Roger could use a hand, don’t you?’ before Brian was wandering away grumbling. Freddie’s attention turned to Sephyr, a bright smile on his features. ‘What can I do for you, Darling?’
Freddie and Sephyr spent almost an hour chatting, Freddie explaining that he had sampled All Hails music and enjoyed their songs and sound. He hinted at suspecting the band had the potential to forge themselves in music history, a compliment which filled Sephyr with joy. Sephyr managed to slip into the conversation that Queen’s music was all that had given him the motivation to play in the first place, which Freddie accepted as a huge compliment as well. All in all, meeting his hero and first crush certainly hadn’t left Sephyr with any regrets.
The bands were changed and from the moment Sephyr left his conversation with Freddie, he was distracted. When the front man for Queen would stride by, Sephyr’s eyes would tunnel on him. Though he explained that he was just a fan when his friends pressed him, Ellis believed there was something more. Though Sephyr would never admit it, it had taken everything in him not to ask Freddie to get a cup of coffee. Sephyr was lucky enough to meet Freddie several more times during his career.
In the summer of 1983, the band returned to their Toronto workspace to begin work on their newest album. The band had only just released ‘Antique Story’ the year before, an album which while preforming well on the charts, the band was not happy with. Upon regrouping the boys made the choice to construct a concept album. Originally titled ‘The Threshold’, the band kept this album under their belts for the most part. Initially they gave their label very little sampling to work with, choosing to make this music only for themselves. Just before Christmas of that year, the first three tracks were sent to Attic Records.
Upon returning from Christmas vacation, the band finally heard word on their album. Attic Records had seen the album as too ‘experimental’ for the early eighties, telling the band to ‘return to their roots’ or risk being cut off. This was seen as something of a devastating blow was Attic had always treated the band reasonably. Sephyr, Andre, Ellis and Roy all agreed that the album was headed in the direction they wanted and were unwilling to change it. This would lead to All Hail leaving Attic, and ultimately London Records in favor of a bold new plan. They were going to start their own label.
Working all through the start of 1984, Sephyr and Ellis began the preparations for opening their own record label. They worked tirelessly from London where both Sephyr and Ellis had decided to retreat to be with family. Roy and Andre were invited as well, but only spent a few weeks at the Estate. With Sephyr’s business sense it was clear that he would have no issues navigating the complex world of business. As soon as the label was established, he hired someone to look after it for them. They were self-produced by the fall of 1984, releasing their album under a new title: ‘Free At Last’. Steele Records became All Hail’s primary recording label.
The night after the first show of the band’s fourth tour, the boys decided to take a break at a bar they had played at years before. Once inside and a drink or two in, Sephyr noticed a man across the bar who looked familiar. Too familiar. John Steele was sitting just feet from him and that made his blood run cold. When John noticed him, a verbal altercation began. John called his son some derogatory term, Sephyr fired it back at him. John called into question Sephyr’s name and inability to hold down a girlfriend, which made Sephyr feel rather small. Though he managed some decent comebacks the rescue came in the form of his band members, who along with the crowd yelled over John. The older man stormed from the bar after throwing some more myopic insults in Sephyr’s direction.
As the tours pressed on and new albums were released, Sephyr found the depression from his youth creeping back into his life. The constant stress of hiding himself began to take a toll, as well as the very demanding schedule of being a Rock Star. Memories of the things his father did began to surface where he thought he might have pushed them out causing painful flashbacks and cases of crippling fear. By 1985 Sephyr was so far into his own mentality he began to drift away from his band members. Even Ellis, who he still regarded much like a brother, became something of a threat to him. He began to reach out for any coping mechanism while keeping his band mates at arm’s length. Drinking became a norm for him, and after a party in the summer of that year, so did drugs.
Heroin had been the drug of choice in New York City in the mid-80’s. With Sephyr spending a fair amount of time at record parties and tour meetings, he found himself in New York a fair amount. While spending time with some ‘friends’ in the industry, Sephyr was offered something many of these ‘friends’ considered the cure for pain. Though he had been repeatedly warned about the dangers of street drugs, he took it. He was desperate to feel anything but the misery he’d been trapped in for so many years. The Heroin did the trick, but he was dragged into a torrent of addiction. Coupled with his already uncontrolled alcohol abuse, it was a recipe for disaster.
1986 became a very interesting year for Sephyr when he met a woman by the name of Cassidy Jones. ‘Cas’ as he often called her was a charming woman with a bright future in stage management. They hit it off, publicly ‘dating’ for seven months of that year. They had disclosed to each other one drunken night their sexualities. Cas was a lesbian trapped in a world run by men, Sephyr a gay man trapped in a work of stigma. They relationship ended in January of 1987 when Cassidy met her future wife, Karen. Sephyr was once again publicly on the market, though now received even more female attention than he had before.
Over time, Sephyr would struggle to maintain relationships even more than he had before. He had lost contact with Greg after a drunken night out which resulted in his losing his entire contact book. He lost all of the contacts he kept there, unable to remember Greg’s current address or phone number. By the time he remembered where he had been, Greg had already moved on. Becoming the master of the secret one night stand, he began seeking out men more than he had before. Any attempt at a relationship was set aside and while Roy found a wife and Ellis carried a string of girlfriends, Sephyr would never speak of his relations. He continued to remain in the closet with no intention of ever outing himself. The loss of Greg plagued him, as he was finding himself very fond of the other.
In very early 1988, Sephyr’s suicide attempts reared their ugly head once more. He began to try to swallow pills, cut under his arms and even once attempted to hang himself. One evening out of fear for his adoptive brother’s life, Ellis was forced to call the local police and inform them of Sephyr’s intention of self-murder. He was taken into custody and held for three days, during which the Heroin in his system was discovered. He was sent to rehabilitation, but checked out only two days in. He warned Ellis that if he ever chose to go behind his back in that way again, Sephyr would never speak to him again.
In 1989, Andre returned to the tour bus with the intention of gathering some drinks for an after party. When he arrived there he found Sephyr in serious trouble. He had overdosed slightly on his drug of choice, becoming lethargic and very, very ill. Without hesitation he dropped his drinks, curling up on the bed with his friend, holding him through the night until Sephyr was stable in the morning. Before the rest of the band arrived Sephyr ended up kissing Andre and the two began a quiet relationship without Ellis or Roy knowing. They were more than happy together, but as most things in Sephyr’s life it was not meant to be.
In 1990 Ellis returned early from a party, intending to sleep. What he found was Andre and Sephyr in bed together. Mortified, Sephyr stormed from the tour bus, hiding out for several days in a hotel. When he returned he made the Band swear to secrecy. He made it very clear that he did not want to be outed and that if anyone were to out him it would be the end of their friendship. Each member agreed to keep his secret and the band carried on as before. Sephyr broke it off with Andre, explaining that though he certainly had feelings for him, it would not do the band any good for it to carry on.
1991 was a productive year for All Hail. The tour they had been on wrapped up and the next one was in the works, they had just released what would come to be their final album: ‘Deconstruction’. Sephyr and Ellis had gone home to the UK to see their family, resting after a very long time away. The brothers took the time to try to bond again, Ellis attempting to get Sephyr to tell him about what might have happened in his youth. While the two did get close again, Sephyr’s drug addiction kept them apart. They were set to return back to Canada in December of that year, but bad news found Sephyr before they left. Roger Taylor had contacted Sephyr directly in late November, telling him it was important that they got together. Sephyr agreed to meet him in private and was given the worst news of his life. Freddie Mercury had lost his fight with AIDS.
Sephyr had never been one to cry in company, but at the news that his truest love and his biggest idol Sephyr had broken down in meeting with Taylor. They comforted each other, both knowing Freddie on a personal level. Sephyr thanked him for giving him the news directly. Eventually Sephyr left him, picking up from a dealer on his way back to the country estate. He locked himself in his room for several days, remaining high to try to quell the pain he felt. Eventually Ellis managed to get into the room, comforting him as well. Ellis wasn’t certain Sephyr would survive it, but with his brother’s help he did indeed manage not to kill himself.
The following year, the members of the All Hail attended a party hosted by Aerosmith. Steve Tyler had become very good friends with Sephyr over the years and the members of both bands did get along fairly well. While the eight men sat around a table drinking, an already impaired Ellis let slide the secret he had been holding onto for a year. Outing Sephyr lost the man most of his friends (With the exception of the band and Steve) and very nearly went public. Thanks to some very carefully place phone calls the news was kept private and Sephyr was free to address Ellis directly.
Sephyr told Ellis that as of that day he no longer wanted to see him. He informed the other members of the band that he would be leaving and that if they wished to they could replace him with another guitarist. He took the next flight back to Toronto, buying a small living space downtown. He took several months to think his decision over, understanding that his anger for Ellis was only going to make working with the man to difficult. The band insisted that without Sephyr there was no All Hail, and thus the decision to break the band up was made. Steele Records announced the end of All Hails reign in December of 1992. The record label would continue under Sephyr’s supervision, signing talented Canadian artists. During the months the changeover was happening at the label, Sephyr came back into contact with Andre. The bassist insisted that they maintain their friendship. It didn’t take long for the two to be back into a serious romantic relationship, Andre moving back to Toronto to be with Sephyr.
During their time living together, Sephyr purchased a plot of land outside the city of Toronto. One-hundred and sixty-eight acres of land located just above High Point Road. He and Andre spent months designing a house for themselves and their friends to live and party in. By the time the design was finished the house was comically big. Andre insisted it be built and who was Sephyr to argue? Work was stared only weeks after the plans were completed.
In 1995 Sephyr received a letter from someone he hadn’t been expecting to hear from. His sister Lily had contacted him in her twenty-fifth year. He had expected Lillian to avoid him for the rest of their lives and hearing from her made him both happy and distraught. The letter explained that his father had spun Lily some tale about a fight over the family business. She knew nothing of the abuse that Sephyr had suffered and as he would come to find out, considered their father to be a good and honest man. With no intention of breaking this perception, Sephyr began to communicate with Lily.
Even with Andre’s love, Sephyr could feel his depression consuming him. His drug addiction had become worse than ever despite all of Andre’s attempted help to get him back on track. Memories from his time at home and the months he spent on the street had consumed him and driven him away from Andre. Though they still spent time together, Andre’s constant worry about Sephyr’s eating habits and drug use kept them distant. Their love for each other would keep them together for close to three years, during which time the work on the mansion was completed and the two moved into it together. Like all things in Sephyr’s life, this brief ‘easy’ period would not last for long.
On a stormy evening in October of 1996, a fight broke out between the two lovers. Sephyr had taken too much of his chosen substitute drug, Oxycodone and had nearly overdosed. Upon his sobering up Andre argued with him which eventually lead Sephyr to storm out of the house and disappear into the night. Fearing that his lover might do serious damage to himself, Andre went after him. In the rain the roads were hard to see and when a dip in the road caused pooling, Andre found himself hydroplaning. Without the ability to regain control the car was pitched from the road and totaled. Andre was killed on impact.
Upon his arrival to the mansion, Sephyr was greeted by a young police constable by the name of Isaac McQue. He informed Sephyr of Andre’s death and a funeral was planned. The entire band and most of their friend attended with Ellis attempting to offer consolation. Sephyr offered his apology to each member of the band, including Ellis before returning to his mansion where he locked himself away for nearly eight months.
In the late summer of 1997 Sephyr once again emerged from his hiding place. He returned to his social settings, making frequent appearances at parties and social events to which he was invited. He even put out a solo album dedicated to Andre. It was called ‘Orchids’ and while it was only seven songs long it was the first time anyone had heard Sephyr sing commercially. He chose only to sing the title track, and invited friends in the industry to sing the other six tracks. In his spare time, he began to find men to spend time with. He rotated between a numbers of them and labelling them as ‘friends with benefits’. His drug addiction fluctuated with his mood allowing him rare near-sober moments while his depression only worsened without Andre. In the winter of that year he began to self-harm as he had when he was a teen, cutting lines in his ribs. In his mind he considered it to be his punishment. For now he thought the pain might stop him from killing himself. It only worked some of the time.
In the early 2002, Sephyr met a man named Henry. While out at an after party, he found himself sitting next to another sad-looking individual. The two men talked all night, laughing at each other’s terrible jokes. Sephyr found out that Henry wasn’t even in the industry. He was someone’s brother who had been dragged along for moral support and left behind as the drinks flowed. Through a few well-placed flirts Sephyr figured out that Henry was interested and the two decided that a one night stand couldn’t hurt. Of course it became more than that. The men began a quiet relationship, each working hard to help each other through their own issues. Henry had been abused by his grandfather, though only in a physical beating sense. Sephyr never told Henry what he went through and eventually the other man realized that whatever Sephyr was going through was too much for him. He left Sephyr in December of 2002. The Rock Star took it surprisingly well, seeing it coming many months before.
In 2003 Sephyr had a string of several relationships. None worked out. All of his exes left a poor taste in his mouth and it became clear that Sephyr wasn’t cut out for dating. He began to see men short-term, making certain that nothing they said lured him into a relationship. For several months the Rock Star did nothing but drink, shoot up and sleep with men. He was still careful not to be outed, seeking only men who were either able to keep a secret or in the closet themselves. He spent a solid two years doing just that, only returning home when he required a long rest.
The first break in at the mansion occurred in 2004 when Sephyr was asleep in his room. He had cleaning staff who discovered the intruder locked in a closet he had mistaken to be Sephyr’s, but was in fact the room that friends used on the rare occasion they stayed. It was an ex of Sephyr’s, Corey White. He was carrying a knife with him. Sephyr never got a clear answer as to what he wanted, but he assumed it wasn’t anything good.
This dark chapter of his life continued until 2005 when Sephyr awoke from a drunken night on the town in his own bed. At the age of 48 Sephyr was certainly starting to feel the effects of his no food, all drink all drugs lifestyle. Trying to get himself out of bed was a chore, even with the added motivation of the need for a fix. As he tried to sit up he barely noticed the door opening and when the new figure in his life appeared, it was a very confusing moment. In his doorway stood a man in a suit with a tray of coffee and biscuits, as the butler in the Simpkins house had for Adam every morning.
Baxter Abbott was a young Englishman Sephyr had apparently hired while drunk. Though he could not remember doing so his signature was on the man’s contract. Sephyr protested that he did not been a butler, and was swiftly corrected. Baxter was a Valet. He did not serve a household like a butler, but rather a single person. Just Sephyr. Again Sephyr protested but Baxter insisted he was told that Sephyr would say these things. Black coffee in hand Sephyr stepped out into the mansion to see that it was spotless. He elected to let the young man stay, if only for now.
For the most part during the start of their time together Sephyr would be out of the mansion. When he was home he was if nothing else, aloof. He would hardly say a word to Baxter. They exchanged minor conversation when Baxter would bring him food. It was very rare that Sephyr would touch it, though not for lack of enjoyment. Less rare would be the outburst of anger or sadness Baxter was subject to. The drugs and drink made Sephyr temperamental and the mounting depression of having lost everything repeatedly had certainly taken a toll. Baxter was fortunate enough to stop two suicide attempts, but was unable to escape some threats and thrown objects in fits of rage. When he was nearly struck in the arm, he drafted resignation papers to be handed to Sephyr the next time he was sober.
Before Baxter could give his letter of resignation to Sephyr something very interesting changed his mind. While preforming some of his more routine duties, Baxter came into contact with two guests at the mansion. Both men had been using cocaine and were in no way reasonable. When Baxter refused to perform some trivial task, his resignation making him slightly braver than he had been in past months, the men turned aggressive. The two of them began to shoat at Baxter. Both of them were large men and began to approach the Valet with malicious intent. Neither of them realized that Sephyr was on his way down the stairs to meet them.
As they backed Baxter into a corner one man took a swing at him. This was all the motivation Sephyr needed. With a speed he had never displayed inside the mansion Sephyr was behind the man who swung. He took his arm as the other reset to take another swing, throwing him with force into the second man now making threatening gestures. He stood between the men and Baxter, a glare like no other on his features. He informed the men that there were no longer welcomed in his home and that they could find someone else to do business with. He made it clear that if he ever saw them again, he would kill both of them. They fled and were never seen again.
Sephyr made certain that his Valet was safe and alright. He also told Baxter never to let someone push him around. He told the Valet that he answered only to Sephyr and that no one else had the right to tell him what to do. He then thanked Baxter for doing an amazing job before returning to his room for the remainder of the evening. Baxter tore up the letter of resignation, realizing that the man he was living with was not Sephyr Steele, but rather what the drugs turned him into.
2006 brought the first of many visits to the mansion for Lillian Steele. Sephyr hadn’t invited his sister, but hadn’t told her not to come either. Her arrival fell close to the holiday and she invited Sephyr to the family dinner for Christmas. Though he loathed the thought of seeing his father again, he hadn’t seen his mother in close to thirty years. He reluctantly accepted the invitation and went. Overall the dinner went well. John remained on his best behaviour around his daughter. It was when Lily stepped out to help her mother that things became concerning. John started at his son with an opening line to the effect of ‘you’ve gotten fat’ and a verbal argument ensued. Both kept the vocal level quiet so as not to alert the girls, but the argument was heated none-the-less.
Upon his return to the mansion Sephyr found Baxter in the kitchen drinking sherry. Joining him with his own scotch Sephyr settled in, talking a bit about his night. The two got on the subject of family and Baxter opened up slightly to Sephyr about some of his experiences, though he was very vague on the details. Sephyr opened up more and more as he drank, eventually telling Baxter much of what had happened. By the morning the two felt the understood each other slightly better, though neither really talked about the conversation.
In 2007 Murray, who had maintained at least fleeting contact with Sephyr since his departure from All Hail, sent word to the mansion that he was having a daughter. Ashley Smith was born a few months later, Sephyr getting several updates a month on her condition. It became clear very early on that Murray and his wife had not been ready for the stress of children, or at least his wife hadn’t been. The situation became worse when she fell pregnant again, giving birth in 2009 to their second child, Emma. Murray’s wife left the picture shortly after that, leaving the band manager with two small children to raise and a full time job. His situation became dire very quickly.
Choosing to believe in his friend’s judgment, Murray asked Sephyr if the girls could stay at the mansion during his long business trips. After speaking to Baxter on the subject it was agreed that the girls would be well cared for by the staff at the mansion and that Sephyr would stay far away from the girls while under the influence. He agreed to the terms and the girls began to come around the mansion several times a month. They would spend days at the mansion while Murray was away, during which time Sephyr would move his stash out of the house. He would not use anywhere the girls could see or get their hands on his drugs and he made certain to maintain only a base-level high while around them. The girls grew up never knowing their ‘Uncle Sephyr’ was a drug user.
During the second two years of Baxter’s employment, Sephyr was heavily suicidal. From 2005 onward his attempts to take his own life not only became more frequent, but more desperate. He began storing pills he knew himself to be allergic too in order to overdose. He also began cutting much deeper into his own ribs and upper arms. The only reason his wrists were spared was his fear of losing his ability to play guitar, should he survive. Baxter became accustomed to stopping these attempts which usually took place in the mansion. Sephyr believed that if he was going to die it should be at home, where he was less likely to cause someone who was not expecting it misery. He had warned Baxter straight out that he would one day find Sephyr’s body. Baxter began to track his employer’s movements and even went so far as to begin sleeping in the guest rooms around Sephyr’s room. The mansion remained silent when Sephyr was not playing music and the slightest noise in the night could wake the Valet. The thwarted several attempts just in his first three years.
In March of 2008, Baxter’s choice to stay with Sephyr in the mansion would come full circle to bite him. During an evening where Sephyr’s temper had flared the Valet had been warned to stay away from him. While trying to ensure that the Rock Star did not kill himself, Baxter pushed his way into the room. From his place on the bed Sephyr began to berate the other, throwing a glass in the man’s direction. He missed entirely on purpose and Baxter called his bluff. Intending only to scare him a little further Sephyr threw a plate in Baxter’s direction. This object made contact, striking Baxter in the head. He was cut very deeply on left side of his head, just around his hairline. Sephyr actually managed to get himself out of bed to call the emergency services, pressing a towel to Baxter’s head with no words but ‘I’m so sorry’.
When Baxter was discharged from the hospital he returned to the mansion. He did not press charges, despite many people close to him insisting that he should do so. He explained that in a way it had been his own fault, indicating very heavily that he was either seeing something in Sephyr others were not, or he had adapted to an abusive environment. He returned to his duties and told Sephyr that if something like that ever happened again, there would be charges and he would leave. Sephyr continues to apologies for this act to this day and has never forgiven himself. He no longer throws things at Baxter, or anyone else for that matter.
Later that year Sephyr met yet another woman. Annabelle Bowen was a smart young girl who was down on her luck. She met Sephyr in a bar, where Sephyr usually met people. They talked and exchanged numbers after Sephyr informed her that he could help her. She was struggling to look after her aging mother on a single income. Sephyr paid a year of her Mother’s healthcare costs. Anna asked him on a date, which he declined for several weeks before admitting his sexuality to Anna in a heated discussion. She was understanding and offered to date Sephyr outwardly with no strings attached. Sephyr agreed to this and Anna moved into the mansion for several months. Their relationship ended on good terms with Anna retaining a key to the mansion and a solid friendship with Sephyr.
In late 2009 Sephyr discovered that Baxter was not who he seemed to be. The man came from an upper-crust English family related in marriage to the royal family themselves. Baxter was not the man’s real name though Sephyr honestly never asked for his real one. Baxter was being hunted by his former family as he had run from them without a word of where he was going. The only reason that this matter came to Sephyr’s attention in the first place was the need Baxter expressed for him to know that should his anyone with the surname ‘Herbertt’ should ever ask for him, Sephyr was not to tell them where he had gone. Sephyr had agreed to these terms, knowing all too well the need to be away from an abusive family. It was only a few months after they had discussed this that Baxter told Sephyr that he knew his family to be looking for him. They would find him based on his visa, which was in his legal name. Sephyr knew then and there that Baxter would need to disappear.
Though the Rock Star had a lot of money, he found that there were somethings it couldn’t buy. The men that Sephyr dealt with had little use for more money. Sephyr was already buying their high-priced poison. The deal that was struck to make Baxter’s identity in England disappear, re-forming him as a Canadian citizen was a two year plan, during which Sephyr was not allowed to pay his debt in bulk. He entered into a deal with his dealer that he would continue to use for at least two years and that he could only buy from him. There were other acts that Sephyr was subjected to, but he hardly saw it as anything new. This sort of abuse had gone on his entire life. Sephyr told Baxter to wait it out and not to worry about his visa. Everything was in hand.
2010 saw the opening of several homeless shelters in Toronto. Reporters struggled to locate the person responsible for the building of the shelters but could not find them. Sephyr had paid for them through a shadow company he had linked to Steele Records. He had used names of employees and completely struck his own from the records, making certain the media could not accuse him of doing it for the press. Sephyr had decided that his money needed to be worth something and through planning with several financial advisors, Sephyr created a four-year plan to make the shelters self-sufficient. He volunteers behind the scenes when he is feeling up to it.
In 2011 Sephyr had the distinct pleasure of handing over a Canadian Passport and proof of citizenship to the now legally named ‘Baxter Abbott’. He never spoke to Baxter about the prices he paid for the services. It was at that moment that Baxter fully understood what sort of person his employer was. He would come to work even harder than he had before, were that even possible. Sephyr and Baxter had become friends over the six years the Englishmen had been working in the mansion. He had come to be one of few people that Sephyr could trust.
Also in 2011 came the second break in. The mansion was broken into by a fan who wanted Sephyr’s autograph. The man was not mentally well and posed a threat to staff and Sephyr himself. It was after this occurrence that Sephyr began to consider hiring a proper security team. He had his hired goons, but he was unsatisfied with their ability to protect Baxter. He began his search for a security guard, which concluded in 2012 with the meeting of a man called Sawyer Thulus.
Sawyer was a Veteran of the War in Afghanistan. He had been deployed with Canadian Forces from 2005 to 2010 as an Air Force Pilot. He had flown in over twenty missions and over eighty training experiments and was widely considered by his fellow soldiers to be one of the Forces’ best pilots. He was shot out of the sky during the Marja Offensive in 2010. By the time Sephyr met him in 2012, Sawyer was homeless. When his plane had gone down Sawyer had been seriously injured. He had lost vision in his left eye and gained a massive and unsightly scar. It gave him little chance of finding work easily. He was considered too young to collect his military pension and had run out of money quickly.
The two met by chance on night after Sephyr finished signing some paperwork at the shelter. It had been a long while since Sephyr had managed to drag himself down there to actually work so he was behind. Leaving late after the soup kitchen had closed he bumped shoulders with the retired soldier. After a brief chat Sephyr offered to buy him dinner and make sure he got a spot inside that night. Sawyer happily agreed. As the other ate Sephyr asked questions about his time in the military, about the things he had been trained to do and about his mental health. When the meal was finished Sephyr asked Sawyer if they could meet up again sometime. They met several more times before Sephyr offered him a job as a head of security. Sawyer accepted the job and moved into the mansion fairly quickly.
Upon Sawyer’s arrival in the spring of 2012, Sephyr gave him an enormous task. He gave the man an unlimited budget and asked to secure the mansion. Sawyer hired a security team and installed hundreds of cameras. He had a fence built around the property and a lockdown system added to every door and window on the mansion. He also rebuilt Sephyr’s room as a safe room. All in all Sawyer spent a little over four million dollars to have the mansion secured. Sephyr was very impressed, as was Baxter.
It was around this time that Sephyr met Skyler Martin. Sky was everything he’d ever dreamed of. He was kind, considerate and passionate about his craft in auto restoration. They met when Skyler insisted on walking Sephyr home from a café, concerned that he might hurt himself. The two became fast friends and were soon romantically involved. Sky loved Sephyr more than anyone had ever loved him. He put months of effort into helping him find ways to get out of his addiction and depression. At the time, however Sephyr’s insecurities were forcing him to push Sky away. The Rock Star had developed feelings for Skyler and while he longed for the meaningful relationship he knew Sky would give him he feared that he would come to hurt the other. He was a danger to himself and to others at that stage of his life and he was not prepared to injure Sky. It took until mid-2013 for Sky to finally hit his breaking point. They parted on rocky terms, Sephyr holing himself away inside the mansion once more.
In 2014 Sephyr was contacted by a young lady by the name of Victoria Clark. The woman had followed Sephyr’s career through her father and had interest in making his life story her next writing project. She requested to come to the mansion for an interview, but received an even better offer in reply. Murray and Baxter had urged Sephyr to reach out to her and have her come to the mansion to write his biography. He offered her a salary and a place to stay, which she accepted readily.
By the time Victoria arrived at the mansion it was clear she was going to have her work cut out for her. The first two interviews she conducted with Sephyr gave great insight into the man, but also into how guarded he was. He would tell stories, but leave each detail out. When pressed further he would change the subject. He arrived stoned and nearly incoherent to his third interview. Victoria handled it with grace, turning off her personal camera and sitting with him. She explained that he might consider getting help, but she was blown off.
Victoria has now been living at the mansion for several months. Though Sephyr has been speaking with her, he has yet to seek any help for his issues. He continues to push his friends and family away while attempting to end his life. He has a hard time making friends, but continues to work very hard to improve the lives of people around himself. He invests his money wherever it will help.
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