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i love the camera on me
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SOLANGE / ALMEDA
Love me like Iām Lyric, Need me like Iām Nina, Protect me like Iām Justice, Always love me like Iām Alicia. I want you to miss me like Monica missed Quincy, Donāt run from me just come to me like Dre did to Sidney. And Iāll try hard to nourish you and heal you from your pain, Love you despite your faults like Ronnie did Caine, Feel for me like youāre Darius and I got on that train, I just want to be your muse, the Apollonia to your Purple Rain. -Ashley Blackley
God removes to replace.
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āBad Habits 4: A Best Friend Scornedā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā My friendship with Cassi Monroe began in ninth grade. Before that point, sheād never noticed me because I was the scrawny gay nerd and she was the popular princess. The summer before ninth grade, my gay uncle taught me about style and bought me a bunch of designer clothes. The moment Cassi saw me in Gucci on the first day of school that year, she invited me into her circle of friends. And just like that, I was in. I was the only gay member in her circle of seven girls and one metrosexual straight boy that most of the girls had sex with every now and then. Those four years of high school were amazing because I got to be in the most exclusive clique that walked the halls of Braxton-Jacobs High. I also got the chance to help a few popular basketball and football players experiment on the DL.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Cassi and I went to New York to attend Syracuse University and during our sophomore year, she became involved with star basketball player Vince Robertson. I was happy for her because they seemed to fit together perfectly; however, she started ignoring my calls and hanging out with me less and less. Eventually, I lost my best friend as she was scooped up into another circle. Vince ended up in the NBA and Cassi dropped out of college to be with him. Although I was pissed at her for ending our friendship, I was still happy for her and I chatted with her now and then on social media over the course of five years. One cold November night, I received my first call from her in years.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āCassi, hey,ā I said while unpacking groceries in my kitchen. āItās been a while, girl.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āI know,ā she said with a light laugh through my speakerphone. āDalvin, youāre probably wondering why Iām calling you out of the blue.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āI am.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āFirst, I wanted to say that Iām sorry for the way our friendship ended. We both made mistakes andā¦ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I turned towards my phone and asked, āHold up, we both made mistakes? Cassi, I didnāt do anything to you. I supported you and even told you about that trashy white girl I saw all over Vince one night at the club. I did nothing but support you our whole friendship. And what did you do? You abandoned me.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āDalvin, calm down.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āDonāt make me hang up on you, bitch! It might be wise for you to go ahead and get to what this phone call is actually about instead of trying me with this fake ass apology. I have an article to finish writing for next monthās issue of Vogue.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā She sighed and joked, āYou always was super smart. Okay, the truth is I need you for something important.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āYou want me to put a word in for you at the magazine?ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āNo, itās not about that. I need you for something serious, Dalvin. Itās about Cierra.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā When she said it was about her and Vinceās daughter, my attitude changed a little. I may have been harboring resentment towards her for our failed friendship, but I was willing to help her with anything related to her two-year-old daughter. I sighed and asked, āWhat do you need me to do?ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āIām sure you know Iāve called off my engagement to Vince.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āActually, I didnāt know that. I havenāt been on any of your social media accounts in some months.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āWell, itās over. Some raggedy ass white bitch showed up at our condo trying to fight me over him. I beat her ass and Vince made her sign a non-disclosure agreement.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āAs many times as heās cheated on you, Iām surprised that made you dump him.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āThatās not why I dumped him. Itās what was said by the raggedy ass white bitch prior to her signing the agreement.ā She took a deep breath and asked, āAre you alone right now?ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āYes.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āWhere are you?ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āIām in my apartment.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āWhere?ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āIn Brooklyn, Cassi.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āCan we meet right now? I can be there in thirty minutes.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āWhy are you suddenly being so annoying?ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āBecauseā¦ā She paused for a second before continuing, āā¦there is some shit I need to tell you that has to remain confidential.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Realizing that this was a deepening situation, I told her, āIāll give you my buildingās address. It has its own parking garage so you can drive instead of taking Uber or Lyft.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āThank you, Dalvin. I genuinely appreciate it.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āI havenāt agreed to anything yet. Iāll text you my address.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āIām heading out of my apartment right now.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āOkay.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Me (Dalvin Wright)
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I ended the call and texted her my address. While waiting for her to arrive, I thought about all of the times she screwed me over to help herself. Our friendship had its ups and downs over the years and I couldnāt believe I let her be the one who walked away from it. I shouldāve ended our friendship the very first time she showed me who she truly was, but I kept thinking she would change and would appreciate me being there for her every time she needed me. Now she needed me to be there for her again and there I was ready to jump at the opportunity.
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