‘ she/he’s right over there. look. stop. wait. don’t look. i mean, you can look, but don’t look like you’re looking. ’
‘ wow. i’m sorry. i should… really learn to knock, incase there’s a threesome going on in the bathroom. ’
‘ you guys really wouldn’t hurt me because that’d be so cliche. ’
‘ i’m sorry for all the craziness. ’
‘ i wouldn’t have done it any differently. ’
‘ yeah, i’m fine. i’m just having an allergic reaction to the universe. ’
‘ he’s very wise. he has a beard. ’
‘ maybe i can’t be just friends with you! ’
‘ but with the added stress of work and deadlines, things can get sexy. ’
‘ no more hugging. physical contact freaks me out. ’
‘ remember when the boys made us watch that movie about the gay guys on the mountain? lord of the rings? ’
‘ there’s too many young, tan, healthy people here. i don’t like it. ’
‘ do you ever wonder what your life looks like through someone else’s eyes? ’
‘ my life just doesn’t work without you. ’
‘ i just don’t want us to fall apart. ’
‘ your break-up is missing a key ingredient. the only ingredient really… that you don’t love me anymore. ’
‘ i love you… this much. and i wanna be with you now and next year and whatever comes after that. ’
‘ i like you… this much. ’
‘ if you can honestly tell me that you don’t love me anymore, just say it. ’
‘ if you don’t love me, i promise i’ll go by myself and i’ll be cold and miserable and alone and i will never bother you again. ’
‘ i don’t love you anymore. ’
‘ just get away from me, okay? get out of here. ’
‘ you had me three months ago and you left. ’
‘ this has nothing to do with me. it is about you and it is only about you. ’
‘ it’s not like now that we broke up, i’m choosing you, okay? cause the whole reason that we broke up is cause, for me, it’s always been you. ’
‘ it’s always been you. i’ve tried to fight it and i’ve tried to deny it and i can’t. i can’t do it. you’re undeniable. ’
‘ sorry i abandoned you in the desert? ’
‘ when i found out it was your pregnancy test, i totally freaked out and i thought this would change everything. ’
‘ then he asked me if i could imagine a time that i’d never not wanna be with you, and i realized that the answer is no. ’
‘ i’m doing this because i love you and i want to spend the rest of my life with you. ’
‘ you know that once you propose to me, you can’t take it back? ’
‘ will you marry me? ’
‘ look at all these people. these normal, non-traumatized people. ’
‘ you only want me when you can’t have me. ’
‘ a triangle’s not a friendly shape, okay? it’s pointy. it’s got sharp edges. ’
‘ nothing i hate more than perky blondes who want to take over the world. ’
‘ you weren’t the only virgin in the room. ’
‘ there was someone else in the room? like, filming us? ’
‘ are you high? ’
‘ you’re my little snow angel. ’
‘ acknowledge me now or lose me forever. ’
‘ i didn’t know they had musicals there. or dancing. or laughter. ’
‘ no one there is as funny as you. ’
‘ so, we finally agree i’m the funny one? ’
‘ you know what else i think you enjoy? me. ’
‘ what happens in mexico, stays in mexico. ’
‘ we have my entire life of never doing anything wrong which lulls my parents into a false sense of trust. ’
‘ welcome to a life of insecurity and paralyzing self-doubt. ’
‘ just don’t talk to me! ’
‘ i really only know how to handle rejection and ridicule. ’
‘ first of all, ‘obsessed,’ it’s a pretty strong word. ’
‘ you know what i like about rich kids? nothing. ’
‘ first of all, no. second of all, no. ’
‘ dude, what did you tell her? ’
‘ maybe the black turtleneck in august tipped her off. ’
‘ i was going for stealth. also, it’s slimming. ’
‘ it’s fate. it’s destiny. look, we both like burritos. ’
‘ sometimes when i like someone, i sometimes kind of, uh… stalk them. ’
‘ with the right attitude and a couple cocktails, it could be fun. ’
‘ i’m so screwed. bruce banner gets mad, he turns into the hulk. i get mad, i turn into like, a 75 year-old yenta named sylvia. ’
‘ what am i going to do without you? who will i play jenga with? ’
‘ you’re so wise. all your sage wisdom. what am i gonna do without that? ’
‘ do you know what i dream about when i dream about thanksgiving, which is often? i dream about eating so much deliciousness, that all of the blood rushes to my stomach and i pass out at the table. ’
‘ i’m more of a fan of open-ended unrequited love. ’
‘ kids don’t date anymore. they hang out in groups and peel off to hook up. ’
‘ you are the sid to her nancy, the kurt to her courtney. 50 cent to her… mrs. cent. ’
‘ that’s it? no advice? ’
‘ what advice? call her, apologize, it’s not rocket science ’
‘ how’s life? we never talk anymore. who are you? ’
‘ i handled that situation so wrong. i just… i should’ve never returned her calls. i should’ve dated other girls. ’
‘ you just wanted to turn me into a little bitch baby like him. ’
‘ of course, i didn’t mean to hit you. ’
‘ i just find it interesting how your hand collided with my face. ’
‘ i feel that way all the time… it hurts too much. ’
‘ i’d kiss my boyfriend three times a day if i knew where the hell he was. ’
‘ and he’s just gonna get bored with me because pretty much all boys do. ’
‘ you turned me into the type of girl that is so desperate for affection that she doesn’t know how to be in a relationship. ’
‘ maybe you just need something to take your mind off of it. ’
‘ with everything we’ve been through for the past two years and the fact that we’re still here really makes me think there’s nothing we can’t handle. ’
‘ i love shopping, tanning, and celebrity gossip. always have, always will. ’
‘ you’re my destiny. ’
‘ go save the world. ’
‘ and you, with all your little flaws and your little quirks, somehow you keep drawing me back in. ’
‘ i’m not pregnant. is it inappropriate to celebrate? ’
‘ you like the chase and that’s all. ’
‘ what do you want from me? ’
‘ i just want you. ’
‘ was i really mean to you? ’
‘ why can’t you accept that i’m uncomfortable with public displays of affection? ’
‘ you’re offering yourself for $10 a pop at a kissing booth? ’
‘ i’ll always look up to you. and not just because you’re taller than me. ’
‘ family time’s always the best when it’s forced. ’
‘ i’m not emotionally equipped to process this information. ’
‘ i love you so much. ’
‘ you’re my best friend forever, okay? ’
‘ i still love you. i really, really love you. i just can’t… i just can’t. ’
‘ i’m marrying you tonight. ’
‘ it’s me and you and that’s the way it’s supposed to be. ’
‘ hey, do not insult them! ’
‘ it’s like one guitar and a whole lot of complaining. ’
‘ yeah? so, what you’re saying to me is then… that the more neurotic and insecure i am, the more you’re attracted to me? well then, do i look fat in these pants? ’
‘ face it. our chemistry is undeniable. ’
‘ you know what else is undeniable? the pain this fork is gonna cause when i jam it into your eye. ’
‘ we should take our pants off. ’
‘ i was nemo and i just wanted to go home. ’
‘ don’t blame me for your sexual tension. ’
yousharknotpass
jacobvanloon
tangentwithtanner
