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YOU ARE THE REASON
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★ 【ヤスヒラ】 「 ヤスヒラ式 岩倉玲音くん 」 ✔ republished w/permission ☆ follow btt’s fanart twitch stream!
Slammed Mentality Diagnosis-Clinical observation_TURMOIL Prognosis from the Abyss of My Lows
Symptom Onset: A collapse beneath calm— The floor gave out, but no one else heard the crash. He stands in the rubble, smiling for the world, bleeding behind his teeth.
Subjective Experience: “Even when I’m high, I still feel low” Translation: Anhedonia masked by distraction, Numbness cloaked in nicotine, Dopamine’s absence despite synthetic highs. His laughter—habitual. His eyes—a floodplain after drought.
Intrusive Thought Patterns: Voices echo in his head, unnamed, yet intimate. “You’re not enough,” they whisper. “You never were.” Cognitive distortions etched into gray matter like scars on a battlefield long lost.
Behavioral Markers: He isolates quietly. Withdraws with grace. "I’m fine," he says—an empty formality. Yet every movement is molasses, each breath an act of rebellion against inertia and inner silence.
Mood Observations: Despondent. Fluctuating with moments of faux elevation. Euphoric spikes followed by cataclysmic descent. He speaks in paradoxes: “I feel everything and nothing.” “I want to let go but I can’t stop holding.”
Prognosis: Guarded. He's hanging by a thread— fragile, fraying, stitched with invisible hands that haven’t given up, even when he has.
“I think I’m too far gone to save.” But thinking isn't knowing.
He survives the fall one scream at a time, one lyric louder than the lie.
Treatment Plan: Validate pain without romanticizing it. Sit with the shadow; don’t run from it. Rewire the narrative: not to erase the low— but to live through it, with the dignity of being honest about breaking.
Final Note: This is not weakness. This is awareness. This is the language of survival, written in trembling hands and screamed behind closed doors where the world won't listen— but maybe… a song will.
Living like a low Slam poem
Just here to relate to a fate
meant for the Ones Who Keep Falling
I can’t lie— the floor gave out again, and I didn’t scream, because silence is louder when you’re used to it.
The walls? Caving. The ceiling? Mocking. My body? Still breathing. My mind? Begging for an off switch.
Even when I’m high— I still feel low. And that’s not a metaphor. That’s a diagnosis in disguise, wrapped in a smile they call “strong.”
See— I’ve got these voices in my head and no, they don’t shout. They whisper. Relentlessly. Soft enough to blend into the static of my self-talk. “You’re not enough.” “You’re too much.” “Why are you still here?” “Why aren’t you gone?”
And you know what?
I believed them once. Maybe twice. Maybe I still do.
But let’s talk about falling— Not the poetic kind. The kind where you sink through the mattress at 3AM and drown inside your own thoughts. The kind where you scroll for hours looking for anything to make you feel like you’re still real.
This song— this scream in melodic form— it isn’t just noise. It’s a mirror. It’s a reflection of the haunted who still wake up anyway.
This chorus? This break? This bleeding bridge before the final scream? It’s a lifeline.
Because somewhere, someone else whispered “even when I’m high, I still feel low” —and I thought “God, it’s not just me.”
That’s the power of this pain. It connects. It creates a thread between the unseen, the unheard, the ones who laugh too loud just to drown out the ache.
You think you’re too far gone to save? I did too. But listen— the voice that told you you’re nothing… isn’t yours. You picked it up in the static, from trauma, from silence, from shadow. But now you know, and knowing is the match. Your breath is the spark.
Even when you’re falling— you’re not alone in feeling alone.
This is for the ones who hit rock bottom and planted something there.
This is for the ones who whisper “I’m fine” but write songs with their scars.
This is for you— a mirror, a lifeline, a reminder that even the lowest point can still be a place to rise.
But if these is the end
Let me go and stay so low
God I don't want to come back all over again…
Clinical Prognosis-World Symptoms of Collapse
Patient: Humanity Condition: Terminal Self-Destruction Diagnosis: Willful Meltdown Syndrome
We trace the pulse: it spasms fast, Frantic hearts beat for a world that won’t last. Automatic descent, a spiral divine— A paradigm broken in industrial rhyme.
Ashes to ashes, they waltz on the grave, Dancing to dirges, dying to save The spectacle's glow—the panic we crave, As we cheer on the end, so bold and depraved.
Words of distraction ignite chain reaction, Infected by static, addicted to action. The headlines scream, “This is your fate,” While the climate chokes beneath our weight.
We diagnosed warmth, you said, “Let it burn,” You cashed in your future with no concern. Now the globe mourns while the rich adjourn— The cure was there, but truth had to earn.
VIRUS, you say? It’s written in us— We’re the architects of everything combust. A contagion divine in the skin of a god, Cutting our throats with the knives that applaud.
The preacher’s a leech, the prophet’s a fraud, The parasite feeds while the righteous nod. We bought the lie and swallowed the sword— Then crowned ourselves kings in a kingdom ignored.
Series finale: humanity screams. Broadcast in blood, pixelated dreams. No side effects, just total collapse— Let the static sing as the planet snaps.
So diagnose this: Delusion in denial. Ego in excess. Hope held hostage in a fear-struck spiral. And still, we smile.
Prognosis: Irreversible. Unless the patient awakens But it seems they’d rather Celebrate The Fallout.
Doctor wait, the entire system has shut down
Now the world has been infected
“MELTDOWN // Diagnosis: Terminal”
Step right up! Watch the world implode in real-time, Streaming in 4K with zero rewind— Welcome to the finale, where we clap for catastrophe and sell popcorn by the pound.
This isn’t fiction. It’s a fracture with a laugh track.
You wanted satire? This is satire sharpened into shrapnel. This is your smartphone weeping while the oceans rise and the forests choke on the carbon of your convenience.
This is the party where we all showed up already dead inside but still took selfies at the apocalypse. Filters can't hide what your silence implied.
You wanna know the punchline? It’s us. We’re the virus. We’re the loaded gun staring down the barrel of our own decisions and still pulling the trigger because we like the way the fire looks in the sky.
We are man-infested destiny— Biohazards in designer jeans. We burned the roadmap, worshipped the wreckage, and made the meltdown a TikTok trend.
"No escape," the mirror whispers. And still, we run— not from death, but from accountability.
We watched ice caps cry themselves to sleep and said, “Not my problem.” We renamed hurricanes like pets, sold prayer candles for mass shootings, and fed on fear like it was gourmet.
Global warming? Nah. We’re globally mourning. And the eulogy’s been prerecorded with a dubstep remix.
This isn't divine punishment— this is self-sabotage with a spotlight. This is complicity dressed in patriotism, denial wearing a corporate logo, decay disguised as progress.
You want a diagnosis? Alright. Condition: Willful Collapse. Symptoms:
Satirical blindness
Catastrophic indifference
Meme-fueled mass distraction
Unchecked self-destruction
Side Effects May Include: Meltdowns, Breakdowns, Extinction.
You can’t spell “virus” without “us.”
So now we celebrate the fallout. Raise a toast to the static. Kiss the ashes. Call it cinematic.This isn’t just the end. It’s the encore. And we’re all invited to the meltdown.
Hey! It’s me again! I notice you like Code Geass too!
Actually in my Narnian/Ransom Trilogy fanfiction multiverse and I have a reimagined Code Geass AU as well
Code Geass: Lelouch of The Knighthood which is mostly inspired by Prince Caspian
It exists as an alternate earth which like the D.Gray-Man world shares a singularity which is The Birth,Death, and Resurrection of Christ which redeemed all worlds
In it Suzaku was framed for his parents assassination and his memories rewritten as a child, this was the work along other political figures throughout the world getting assassinated(including Marianne along with Lelia and Empress Tianzi’s parents) in a satanic conspiracy of The Geass Order lead by Vincent(insert Freemason joke here) under their service to “The Usurper of Geass” who’s implied to be Satan/Tash/The Bent One
Soon this leads to Charles own death when he regrets what he’s done and finds out about Mary’s death being part of the cults plan and is about to tell the public and Schnizel taking over with a satanic mockery of Geass with the aid of V.V. to continue the scheme
Here Aslan/Christ appears as cloaked and masked figure “The Master of Geass” son of “The Infinite One” and through whom “The Geass Specter” proceed through
And the Keeper of Space Time is the Oyarsa of this world if your familiar with The Ransom/Space Trilogy
Geass in this case is the configuration of “Deep Magic” of This World and given how C’s world works, it can kinda be how the communion of Saints manifests itself in this world and tragedy befalls only to those who try to bend it to their will rather than submitting to the Master, kinda was inspired by The Magician’s Nephew
Basically Lelouch and Co make better choices(there’s still drama and conflict mind you!) and their major goal is to get Nunally seated as Empress and stop The Ragnarok Connection which is far more demonic in this AU
I’m just thinking how Aslan would get to Lelouch, Suzaku, and Kaplan with their bitterness and sorrows. Lelouch definitely needs work with the wounds of betrayal, and hoo boy is Jesus not unfamiliar with betrayal and suffering
That's a lot information to digest so I took my time thinking and answering this ask. I must say you put a lot of mind and efforts into this fanfiction of yours. Such enthusiasm is admirable, so keep up with it and don't let what I share next be a guide to your brainstorming and world-building. I believe one remains a better judge for one's own writing, for good or for bad.
I have zero knowledge on the Ransom Trilogy, so little can I contribute on details related to it. I do love Code Geass, though; so I can share a bit.
In my opinion, Code Geass is a story about the battle of philosophy and ideologies which ends with the triumph of the protagonist's, Lelouch's, idea, which bears the closest resemblance to Christianity. Unlike his father Charles or his brother Schneizel, Lelouch chooses the role of a villain to be slain instead of the role of God (funny, as the Son shows Himself to us not as the dominating Lord, but chose to follow the will of the Father to be the sacrificial Lamb to take away the sin of the world). He offers himself as a sacrifice to give the world a chance to embrace the future and puts his trust in people's perserving wish for happiness, and death is also his way of atonement. Despite all his lies and faults, Lelouch is quite a romanticist who never gives up his belief in hope and dreams, who treasures his loved ones, who, to quote Chesterton, "hate it [the world] enough to change it, and yet love it enough to think it worth changing." For such a character, I don't think it's hard for our Lord to reach to his heart. The only issue is whether he will accept our Lord's will, which asks him to entrust everything to the Divine Mercy.
Suzaku is the obstinate one here. While I also love him as dearly as I love Lelouch, after losing Euphemia, he acts like a jerk (partly justified), and only after committing the irreversible crime of robbing the lives of over 10 mil people that he accepts Lelouch's method and wholeheartedly works with him for the greater good. Still, I understand why Suzaku stubbornly clings to his idea, and he's right in thinking that the ends cannot justify the means; though frankly I think his means are also controversial and contradicting to this particular belief. Anyway, how God touch his heart depends on at which point Suzaku is at that time (the naive suicidal boy before meeting Euphy, the man full of anger and resentment after her death and betrayal to Lelouch, or the massacrer of millions).
Lelouch and Suzaku make the best choices with what they have to deliver a good story; not necessarily the wisest, but most appropriate given their personalities and surrounding circumstances. Now the thing with stories and fanfiction is that I love them because while they are somewhat similar to the real world, they need a bit of naiveté and idealization to let everything fall into its place and bring about the wanted outcome. You have chosen the hard task of bringing God to your fantasy universe as the only thing equal with such experience is our real life, which will last till the Day of Judgment. Best to quote Tolkien here:
“... Actually I am a Christian, and indeed a Roman Catholic, so that I do not expect ‘history’ to be anything but a ‘long defeat’— though it contains (and in legend may contain more clearly and movingly) some samples or glimpses of final victory.”
(JRR Tolkien, Letters, 255)
I object to the idea of a masked and cloaked figure. That reduces Jesus Christ to a mere symbol while unlike Zero, He is the Way, the Truth and the Life, the Word in flesh and blood. To have Him hide behind any kind of mantle seems tasteless and defies His nature.
I'm also not comfortable with the idea of Lelouch doing his best to put Nunnally on the throne. While she is more than capable, I doubt Lelouch would place such a heavy burden on his dearest sister's shoulders. It's one thing that the situation forces him to let that happen or her to take on the responsibility by herself; it's totally another thing for him to treat it as his original goal. Lelouch loves Nunnally too much to do that.
Hope you find my answer helpful.
This is golden insight
HISTOIRE DE LECTURE - ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ L'Uni-Vers de cet ouvrage m'émerveille depuis une semaine… Et pourtant, j'ai plusieurs années hésité à me le procurer… Les longs passages de description me reboutant auparavant. Maintenant que je me le suis offert, la saveur même du récit j'y goûte à chaque ligne, chaque paragraphe, page, chapitre, livre… Orné de chants et personnages merveilleux, de péripéties épiques et de détails très riches… Qui par ces longs passages, justement, croustillent, émoustillent ma curiosité de lecteur. De ce joyau, prouesse littéraire signée J-R-R. Tolikien, ce qui me marque le plus, ce sont les liens entre chacun des personnages et la sagesse qui en ressort. Outre la multiplicité et la complexité des civilisations, traversant les règnes et l'histoire du vivant, il y réside cette incommensurable richesse, qu'est l'Amitié fraternelle sous tous ces aspects. Par exemple, entre Frodo et Sam, inséparables du début à la fin. L'Un ne peut aller sans l'Autre… ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ Ça te dit toi aussi de nous raconter ton histoire de lecture ? As tu déjà lu l'intégrale du Seigneur des Anneaux ? (ou un autre livre, quel que soit le genre) Qu'est ce qu'il t'inspire dans ta Vie ? https://www.instagram.com/p/B7eRIZ-CPRW/?igshid=103l51urcqhoy
“Flowers teach us that nothing is permanent: not their beauty, not even the fact that they will inevitably wilt, because they will still give new seeds.” -Paula Coelho, The Spy
— josé olivarez // natalie diaz
Yet, I know nobody is listening... if I can be honest... I'm tired of fighting everyday.
Being sensitive is a strength—it means you feel deeply. But unkindness? That’s a choice, and a sad one.
— william wordsworth (via letsbelonelytogetherr)
wishing but actually deserving... idk about that internet. Nice try tho
Idolize yourself so you can make it
"I turned off a little bit, but I'll be back to my best version.”
I want to go back home, but where's home?