Untitled

[ryanth3sailor]

Day one into September. Woke up with tired eyes and a messed up soul. Drank the coffee straight from the pot and wished that I had slept a little earlier. Took the train to work and reluctantly met an old face aboard. It started with a glance, followed by a smile and few moments later, we were talking about mysteries, mistakes and more. In all of the schmooze, I was least expecting this to be the once in an infinite moment when someone said things that could traverse through the darkest part of the mind, and set ablaze the long lost memories; as if they had been in existence all the time, but never caught the eye. He began telling me how much he loved the game of football and the way things have changed in the last couple of decades. It might even be possible that some of the renowned players of this generation shall be playing their last World Cup which is happening at the end of this year. He added that he remembers watching the last edition of the tournament with his father. The story took a turn when he said that, he lost his father that very year and he has tried moving on from the scenario as well. He doesn't miss his face or his touch but his voice, that echoes around him sometimes. That's the part he's going to carry with him in the days to come as well. It's like, he could give up on himself just to listen to him talking one more time. The entirety of this conversation was immensely different from any other that I've ever had in my entire life. It pierced my head and made me think about it the entire day. So, while returning back from work, I couldn't hold this to myself, and ended up writing about it. My words are simple and put down straight. The voices echo every time I open my eyes to reality. The places, the connections, the feelings and emotions, everything has woven out a story from it. And most importantly, I miss the people, who till a few weeks back were there right next to me. All my stars in the night sky, wherever you are, you're remembered. You're loved and missed every moment. #indiapictures #onlyinbengal #shotoniphone #thelonenotebook #writersclub #spilledink #engravedinink #poetscity #ilovewriting #untwineme #ryanth3sailor (at Kolkata) https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch-J0KPJ-6A/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[ryanth3sailor]

On a cold and lazy evening, as I sit and watch the sky, the clouds seek their invitation to my perpetual thought process of memories and ignorance. Every beat in my heart makes me remember about something different and a few that are entirely unsolicited by the vastness of perception. Here I am, waiting for the light to go past the horizon and as it shall fade, I'll slide further down the evocation with the night airglow and indefinite emptiness. As I close my eyes, a sudden rush of breeze caresses my face and I smile. I feel her fingers running through my hair and I find myself looking at her; my eyes seeking answers in her silence. She's all my words, my expressions, places, people and more. She's all my emotions, my feelings, happiness, desolation and more. She's my yesterday, my today and my days to come. She's like a fire on a winter night burning endlessly. She's my solace in the limitless zenith of chaos. She's my home. The feeling suddenly disappears into the murk. My thoughts come to a halt and are stuck in an indefinite loop of abyss and miracle. I see her standing at a distance. She's afraid to move, she thinks she's lost. She's confuzzled between reality and anomaly. She's afraid of being left alone in the dark hues of abomination. She doesn't ask for help, she's silent. I call her name and in dismay I'm snapped back to reality. I open my eyes, the sky is grey; it's going to rain. I have been wanting to say this since a very long time. Maybe this is not the right time but then, when is the time right? Hold on to me like a drop of dew on the morning grass, tenderly, afraid of falling. The little smile on your face can drive away any sadness and I'll be there to never let that feeling fade away. I'll stick to you even when the situation doesn't allow me to, I'll make sure to not leave any stone unturned. I'll do everything possible to make sure that you don't lose yourself again. Your mind, soul and bones are inviolable with me. You're mine. #omypoetry #artlixirpoetry #untwineme #bymepoetry #poemxheaven #creativewriting #writerstag #writerspocket #writersofinstagram #writerscommunity #poetsgrid #shotoniphone #spilledink #ryanth3sailor https://www.instagram.com/p/CgtJxGwJvOm/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[ryanth3sailor]

I have trouble sleeping at night. The emptiness consumes me in pieces, tears me apart. The light through the window crack seeps into the dark room and that's the only thing between me and endless silence. I have seen moments turn into memories. The wishful thinking that everything would get back to how it used to be, lasts about a few seconds and then vanishes into thin air. The outcome of it reflects on my eyes and every second on the clock, it gets more and more difficult to avoid thinking. As I pen this down, I feel succumbed to a never ending loop of loneliness; stuck in a void which keeps getting bigger and the light at the end of the tunnel is about to be diminished soon. I have never felt this before. My thoughts are frozen. I feel suffocated down to my ribs. My heart screams pain and blood. My mind is about to go numb. I want to disappear. I've lost it all. I miss you... #omypoetry #artlixirpoetry #untwineme #bymepoetry #poemxheaven #creativewriting #ilovewriting #writerstag #writerspocket #writersofinstagram #writerscommunity #poetsgrid #poetscity #writerscity #engravedinink #spilledink #instapoetry #poetrycommunity #poetsandtexts #writersclub #thelonenotebook #igpoets #shotoniphone #iphonephotography #randommusings #onlyinbengal #indiapictures #streetgrammer #ryanth3sailor https://www.instagram.com/p/Cb0TLLUBu8P/?utm_medium=tumblr

[ryanth3sailor]

Sleepless nights, traumatized sensations down the spine, makes me hold onto every breath as if it's the last one. My lungs are dry and cold and my palms shake in hysteria. My mind is an empty road filled with errors of endless moments that has turned into misinterpreted memories. I'm trapped in a state where I'm unable to think of anything; stuck in that single mistake which gets reminded every other day. This pain keeps on flowing down my veins and the feelings connected to the pain makes me feel vulnerable, skin deep, down to my bones. I'm feeble, fragile, surrounded by darkness and even a flint of sunshine, of hope, makes me scared and agitated. A lot of things happening around are noticed by me which have unexpectedly left a mark on my subconscious. This loop is endless and with every blink, it resumes over and over again. Maybe, I feel feelings a lot more than anyone else. Maybe, I miss places more than people because memories play a vital role in my head. Maybe, I'll never know a lot of things and maybe a lot of stones will be left unturned... Am I a sinner? #omypoetry #artlixirpoetry #untwineme #bymepoetry #poemxheaven #creativewriting #ilovewriting #writerstag #writerspocket #writersofinstagram #writerscommunity #poetsgrid #poetscity #writerscity #engravedinink #spilledink #instapoetry #poetrycommunity #poetsandtexts #writersclub #thelonenotebook #igpoets #bloggers #art #ryanth3sailor https://www.instagram.com/p/CbSAdIQhPKd/?utm_medium=tumblr

[ryanth3sailor]

There are moments that make us and there are moments that break us. In between both of these we grow up. The outcome of a situation is never predefined. A few changes in the course of every action that leads to the end, can definitely make a difference. Strangest of things happen in our lives but the mind reads none, except clustered pieces of dreams and drama. Life is much more than what meets the eyes and most of it happens without our knowledge. Our thoughts can make us do things that we seldom think we ever can do. Nevertheless, what makes us different and what defines us, are our thoughts and choices. We tend to seek for things that can make us complete; a smile, a hug or a mug of hot chocolate. The things that can make us happy are never prodigious. They are small, so small that most of the time they get unnoticed and we never get to know what we really are seeking. The night is dark and walking home alone makes me think of everything that has ever mattered to me. I can't visualize how different our lives would be if, we could feel their presence even in the emptiness of our mind and body. These small pieces of feelings and emotions are nothing but battles of life that we are fighting alone, everyday. Sometimes, these battles give us a better tomorrow while sometimes they leave us clueless overnight. Every morning is a bright day to look forward to. Every emotion is a complex mixture of feelings, hormones, and mental perceptions. Sometimes, our goals, our desires are everything that we are seeking. Sometimes, what we are seeking is standing right in front of us, with arms wide open, ready to embrace us... #poetrysociety #poetrycommunity #poemxheaven #creativewriting #ilovewriting #writerstag #writerspocket #writerscommunity #poetsgrid #poetscity #engravedinink #spilledink #poetsandtexts #randommusings #shotoniphone #iphonephotography #onlyinbengal #indiapictures #streetgrammer #ryanth3sailor https://www.instagram.com/p/CayuiWth4_t/?utm_medium=tumblr

[ryanth3sailor]

As I watch the cloudless sky, the moon seems larger than usual. The stars shining seems to hold on to the life that's beyond our vision. Do you hear the breeze flow or it's just me alone? You lend your ear to the universe, but all you can listen back is emptiness, that keeps on echoing a monotonous solitude. This enormous solitude breaks with every beat of my heart. It seems they are stuck nowhere, but here in my ribs, and once they are set loose, they'll fly away. Not everyday do we feel it that way, the beats lose its audibility in our cluster of thoughts, packed up in delicate emotions, escaping into the chaos of surrounding. My watch is ticking every second and it's getting colder with time. Every single piece of our life, of our time, seems to speak something to us. We listen to reply and not to understand. Empty words are more meaningful to us than the fragment of emotions. We try to tear apart every single thing that holds us back but, end up getting entangled. We wish to undo things once and for all, but that wouldn't have been necessary if memories were erasable. Life's an endless loop in which either we get better or we don't. It's never the same. People come and leave us at the most unexpected times. And the person who stays in our life throughout the journey is the same person whom we see in the mirror everyday. The bonding between the mind and soul is a dimension which has no coordinates. It's a collateral line of multiple actions where it either exists or it doesn't. Everyone is lost at some point or the other. What matters in the end is if we can find our way home. We are all trying our best to do everything that's possible for us, and a single thought is what it takes, to change the way things are. Nothing is incomplete other than the answers that we search around whereas the solution to everything we have been searching for, is... Us. Trust yourself, believe that everything happens for a reason, and impossibility is a myth. Never let a single thought haunt you because if, "you're a dreamer, you're not the only one." . #engravedinink #writersofinstagram #writerstag #writersclub #creativewriting #ryanth3sailor https://www.instagram.com/p/CaRhZwoBTOy/?utm_medium=tumblr

[ryanth3sailor]

But sooner or later, I'll have to leave. Leave behind the chaos, fight my devil and conquer over him. I'll be long gone and not missed perhaps. Maybe I'll never return. But if I do, to you, I might be someone worth hating a lifetime. I have been a traveller, wanderlust in every inch of my being, where every step seems sublime in this fantastical journey. What I have been seeking is a place where all my thoughts go numb and I can be asleep, with no cerebral blood cluttered in between the cortex. I have either moved a thousand hours ahead or I'm still stuck in a place, that's a thousand more behind. Yet, the truth is never revealed until someone tries to listen to the silence. The darkest hours suffer from indefinite chaos and perplexed emotions. Lost are the souls which never find a way home. While, millions of stars away, exists a universe where a lone wolf like me, seeks the truth unlike anyone else. But, I have never stopped, kept moving towards something, perhaps the unknown. Turning the tables around as the clock strikes midnight. Stitching up my veins with new habits, writing names of places and a woman who has long forgotten me; I've started making my holy spirit await the doomsday. Till then, I can only wait, work and watch till I destroy. I'm the change. I'm inevitable. I'll be there like never before and never again, at the same time. I am not ETHEREAL. #omypoetry #artlixirpoetry #bymepoetry #engravedinink #poemxheaven #spilledwords #igpoets #ilovewriting #writerstag #writerspocket #writersofinstagram #writerscommunity #poetsburg #poetconnection #thelonenotebook #secretivescribblings #amwriting #poetsgrid #poetscity #writerscity #creativewriting #ryanth3sailor https://www.instagram.com/p/CZsTDaIByFs/?utm_medium=tumblr

[ryanth3sailor]

Do you know what is the slowest thing in this world? It's erasing feelings. If you ever had something for someone, trust me, it's a lot more than just something. Does your heart still skip a beat when you hear her name? Or does it beat faster when you walk past someone who is wearing the same dress that you gifted on her birthday? Life is much more than moments. Memories play an intricate role in our daily life. It's all about being remembered for something that you may not even recall doing. Just like sleeping and rolling to your favorite side just to realize that she isn't there anymore. You come back home after a tired day at work and make two cups of coffee, put them on table to find out that, the person who loved it more than you did, isn't there. You still visit your favorite restaurant, on 6th of every month, just to celebrate nothing more than loneliness. People leave marks in our life. Some marks are to be cherished while some marks turn out to be scars. The scars are kept hidden just like demons in the wild. You never know what you might be remembered for, maybe the Good Night messages or the late night calls. Maybe the bike rides or maybe just a cup of tea. But there's always something more than memories, people and incidents. It's the fact that we just cannot forget them. You haven't​ left my mind since day zero and remembering you or anything related to you is irrelevant. Today, it's nothing less than a stimulus to an action, an involuntary reaction to everything around me. You have left something in me.. in all of me that belongs to you. It's YOU... #omypoetry #artlixirpoetry #bymepoetry #engravedinink #poemxheaven #spilledwords #ilovewriting #writerstag #writerspocket #writersofinstagram #writerscommunity #poetsburg #thelonenotebook #secretivescribblings #amwriting #poetsgrid #poetscity #writerscity #creativewriting #ryanth3sailor https://www.instagram.com/p/CZV8ZhaBBSR/?utm_medium=tumblr

[naturaekos]

[ryanth3sailor]

Have you ever been so lonely that in between sunset and sunrise, the only thing darker than the night is your shadow. Have your ever been so neglected that in between a crowded bus and an empty street, the only thing haunting you is your heartbeat. Have you ever been so vulnerable that in between perpetual memories and constant thinking, the only thing unrestrained are tears dripping down your face. Have you ever been so incomplete that in between sapphire sky and lustrous earth, the only dreary and desolate thing is you... Searching for that fruitful living. Have you ever been yourself? #photooftheday #shotoniphone #omypoetry #artlixirpoetry #untwineme #bymepoetry #engravedinink #poemxheaven #ilovewriting #writerstag #writerspocket #writersofinstagram #writerscommunity #amwriting #qotd #follow4follow #like4like #creativewriting #spilledink #wordart #ryanth3sailor (at Siliguri) https://www.instagram.com/p/CZEzib_Br3r/?utm_medium=tumblr

[ryanth3sailor]

The dead leaves rustle past me as I sit alone on a rusty bench under a bare tree. It's sunny and yet the dry branches that rub against each other, deepen the coldness of my heart. Sunday afternoons are pretty long if you choose to spend it with yourself. I have lost track of my friends and the last thing I know, a lot of them don't remember me either. It has been a tremendously long journey from 'why not 'to 'what if'; and now I just sit in silence. A lot has happened and a lot more is yet to come. The desire to know the outcome has lessened over time and I barely hope to cling to my sanity till the end. I wait for the next hour. I am all alone here. I'm holding the key ring that says, "Wherever you go, come back home to me." It finally has added meaning to my existence. I'm struggling to walk towards my home. I'm trying to cover the distance and it seems to be a long way to go. I just hope I reach there someday! How long is forever? #photooftheday #happy #art #travel #instadaily #explore #blackandwhite #shotoniphone #inspirational #writersofinstagram #ilovewriting #writerscommunity #incredibleindia #indiapictures #writerstag #writerspocket #poemxheaven #writersnetwork #ryanth3sailor #likeforlikes #likeforfollow #followforfollowback (at Siliguri) https://www.instagram.com/p/CYs4mREBa0o/?utm_medium=tumblr

[ryanth3sailor]

Desperate times are ahead of us and we are supposed to train our brain to be always ready for situations. Yet, apocalypse can strike us on the best of our days! It is horrific to lose someone close and what is worse is that the agony cannot be expressed fully while functioning within the limited framework of our known expressions. Keeping things bottled up because the people close to us cannot comprehend what we are actually going through! Time and time, we just keep getting low and even in the happiest of moments we don't know how to react. Trying to reach out to that hand that held us up in the strangest of times feels impossible. Loss is something that is completely personal and every single person has different ways to respond to situations. But eventually, we grow. Grow different from ourselves. Very unexpected at times. But, the memories keep reminding us where we belonged, what we are made of, how things could have been different. We are our choices. And that is what makes us unique in the most possible way. To all the people, who chose to be themselves in the most difficult of times, didn't lose hope, and are looking forward to new beginnings, I wish you strength. More power to all those souls who are lost and striving to find their way back home. #happynewyear #photooftheday #happy #art #travel #instadaily #explore #shotoniphone #inspirational #writersofinstagram #ilovewriting #writerscommunity #incredibleindia #indiapictures #writerstag #writerspocket #poemxheaven #writersnetwork #ryanth3sailor #likeforlikes #likeforfollow #followforfollowback https://www.instagram.com/p/CYf3nIPhe4c/?utm_medium=tumblr

[quotefeeling]

“When things go wrong, you’ll find they usually go on getting worse for some time; but when things start going right they often go on getting better and better.”

— C.S. Lewis, The Magician’s Nephew

[fox-party]

[twloha]

“We want the stories we tell about ourselves as we reflect to look like a reminder of the times we found joy through hardship, light within the dark, and hope despite fear. The times we continued being stories still going through it all. That’s what we are. We are stories still going. Stories deserving of compassion—for our progress and authenticity rather than perfection. Closing one chapter and beginning another looks different for each and every one of us. It looks different from our expectations, from last year, and from a decade ago. And that’s OK.”