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Give you a Lyft || Kitty and Ryder

Who: Kitty and Ryder When: 6 September Where: Misc Hollywood locations. Summary: Ryder picks up a drunk and upset Kitty, the pair get 3am fast food. Ryder shares what really happened with Sonic Rush, the two talk about the group chat revelations, Kitty makes a move. Warnings: Some references to past sexual assault Tags: @kittywildest

Kitty Kitty’s feet had been hurting in her narrow, unforgiving heels since the night had started, but as she paced up and down the street, they ached even more. What had started as an innocent night out with some industry connections had turned into a shitshow of sorts. It had all gone fine until the third club they’d visited and after making eyes at some tall faceless nobody on the dance floor, she’d been pulled into a corner for a frenzied makeout session, a somewhat regular occurrence for Kitty. After the guy had managed to rid her of her bra without touching her dress - my God, how had he done that? - she’d pushed him off, given him a wry smile, and turned to where she’d left her entourage at a table… a table that was empty. After a twenty minute frenzied search (five minutes for her friends, fifteen for her bra), Kitty was feeling more desolate than ever before and, in her drunken state, had stumbled out of the club and onto the darkened street outside.

The street wasn’t deserted, as clubgoers milled around outside and a few streetlights illuminated it, but as she frantically looked up and down the sidewalk for anyone she recognised, it felt huge and dark and empty. With the realisation dawning on her that she had been truly abandoned at this club in the middle of nowhere, a desolation fell upon Kitty and she started to cry, aided by the tequila shots that her backup singer had handed her. As the tears fell freely, small delicate sobs rocking her body, she reached into her pocket for her phone, quickly opening Lyft and tapping in an address on the street she lived on (Lord knows she’d never put in her actual address). After a quick mental note of the colour and license plate on the car, she put her phone away, bracing herself for the uncomfortable car ride of crying and awkward rear view mirror glances that awaited her. She swiped at her cheeks, her heart sinking as she saw her hands covered in glitter. God, what a mess. Her head snapped up as she heard a car approaching, her heart leaping as she saw the license plate. Finally. All Kitty wanted was to go home. She reached her right hand out to flag the driver down, her left hand still swiping tears away from her face, just hoping the driver would cut her some slack. As the car pulled up, she glanced through the driver window, expecting to see a middle aged man in there, and doing a double take as she realised who it was. Ryder. The two hadn’t spoken since their argument in the group chat, and that one had been a doozy. They’d both gone places they’d never gone before in their spats, and seeing him now set a heaviness in her chest that she was in no state of mind to deal with right now. “You’re fucking kidding.” She muttered before shaking her head and turning on her heel. She waved the car away, starting to walk down the street as fast as her painful stiletto’ed feet would go. “Forget it, don’t worry, I’ll walk!” She choked out between sobs.

Ryder Ryder's shift at the bar had finished around midnight. He had wanted to go home and get some sleep but unfortunately his credit card bill was due soon and he wasn't exactly rolling around in spare cash. So he'd gotten in his car instead, deciding to put in a few hours with Lyft to try and boost his available funds. It was approaching 2am as he dropped a man off in the outskirts of Beverley Hills, in a neighborhood he would never be able to afford himself. He sat parked up for a couple of moments before his phone beeped with the offer of another drive. The requested destination address caught his eye, it was only a few properties down from his own place.

Whilst he did need more money, it'd also be a convenient way to get paid to drive home. He hurried to click accept before anyone else got to it, his eyebrows climbing as the screen refreshed and told him who he was picking up. The name Kitty was now showing in the bottom corner of the screen, along with a small picture of, well, Kitty. Things between the two of them had been awkward over the last week, but that didn't mean that he was going to leave her stranded in Hollywood somewhere. She needed a ride home, and he was prepared to do that for her, even if she berated or stonewalled him the whole way back - either was likely at this point. It took maybe ten minutes for him to reach Kitty's pick up location, and he easily spotted her on the sidewalk as he approached. He pulled up to the curb, expecting Kitty to hop in. What he wasn't expecting, was for Kitty to baulk at the sight of him. Apparently she hadn't clocked who Lyft had assigned as her driver. He also wasn't expecting her face to be tear-stained, worry instantly starting to course through him. Kitty wasn't usually much of a crier. She was tough, and didn't usually let people get to her. Ryder quickly shifted the gear lever into park, releasing his seatbelt and scrambling for the door handle to get out of the car as soon as possible. "Kitty! Wait up!" Ryder called after her, jogging to catch up with her. It didn't take much for him to get himself in front of her, blocking her path. He was both sober and in sneakers, giving him an easy advantage in speed and agility. "Are you okay?" He asked, looking her over. She didn't look physically hurt, but he was well aware that didn't always mean anything.

Kitty The tears kept falling as she hobbled away from the car although she knew in her gut that it was futile. He would catch up with her and get her back into the car and probably find her a blanket and a bottle of water and a lollipop of some kind along the way because that was just the kind of guy he was. Ryder would never let a drunk crying girl walk the streets at night alone, particularly, Kitty hoped, if that girl was her. Still, that didn’t mean she wanted his help, and she sure as hell wasn’t about to make it easy. She groaned as, predictably, he opened the car door and started following her and quickened her pace. “Get back in the car, Lynn. I’m fine and I’m still fucking mad at you.” She called back, swiping at her face. More tears and more glitter. Jesus Christ, this night was never ending.

As he caught up to her, she huffed, trying to side step him as he blocked her way. His concern for her somehow made the whole thing even worse, and she let out another halfhearted sob as her mind raced back over the whole night, regret tinging every part of it. Tonight should’ve been the latest installation in her ‘get Ryder Lynn out of your system’ plan, one that had been thwarted recently by Puck’s unceremonious ending of their arrangement earlier, and she’d made out with the boring tall guy as a way to forget the way she and Ryder were avoiding each other in the hallway whenever they saw each other. And yet, it had ended with her standing on the street at 2 AM, braless, and arguing with Ryder. Maybe, Kitty mused, the hookups weren’t working anymore, and that was a scary thought. “No, I’m not fucking okay.” She mumbled between sobs. “I’m alone because those bitches from the label ditched me, and… my bra is gone…” The memory of her bra, sitting in a dark unnoticed corner of the club, just made more tears fall. It had been very expensive. “And now you’re here and everything’s just fucking perfect.” Ryder Ryder had been completely thrown off guard by the Kitty standing in front of him. He'd been expecting an awkward drive home where maybe they would even get to smooth out their issues and get back to normal by the time they got there. It wasn't like their arguments ever lasted for long. He'd seen her drunk countless times, it was only recently that they'd both gotten drunk and high together at that potluck at Tina's apartment. But drunk and emotional was a whole new ballpark. He focused on her words, trying to decipher what she was saying. It wasn't exactly easy between her mumbling and the crying. But he was pretty sure he heard her say that she had no bra, which caused his worry levels to spike instantly.

"Your bra is gone?" Ryder repeated, making sure he'd heard what he thought he had. "Kitty, I'm going to need you to tell me what happened right now." He tried to keep his tone calm, though maybe overcompensated with it coming out a little cool and forceful. He wasn't fucking around though, not when it came to this. "Where did your bra go?" He asked, trying not to jump to the worst conclusions. Maybe it'd broken somehow, or she'd gotten uncomfortable and taken it off. The idea of someone taking it off for her against her will wasn't one he wanted to entertain, but she was standing on the sidewalk sobbing so it wasn't like he could rule it out as a possibility. Especially when that was so off-brand for Kitty. "I'm not letting you walk home so I'm just going to stand here until you get in the car." He added, there was no possible circumstances in which he would walk away from her right now and leave her like this. He was just as stubborn as she was, and would stand there until sunrise if that's what it took.

Kitty Kitty hated crying at the best of times. But messy crying in front of Ryder was beyond mortifying. She took deep breaths to try and stop more tears from falling, but all to no avail. God, he wasn’t even seeing her cry over anything important, it was just drunk tears, which somehow made it worse; it felt even more unearned. At Ryder’s questioning, she raised her hands as if being interrogated, an irritated look crossing her face between the sobs. “God, relax, it’s fine. There was a guy and he took it off and I don’t want to talk about that with you.” She pursed her lips, shrugging. “I don’t know, maybe he dropped it under a table or something, but I couldn’t find it after and it was really fancy.” Retelling the story set her body back into a feeling of profound sadness and she sighed deeply, wiping her face. “It was new Victoria’s Secret and so cute. I think he maybe he stole it.” Her sobs slowed and she panted slightly, catching her breath a little. God, all this crying could really give a girl a headache.

As the crying started to subside, she could really take in the situation as it was, and the reality that her traitorous phone had summoned Ryder to her like this, and that he wasn’t going to back down. She sighed, bringing a hand up to rub her forehead. “Get over yourself, Lynn, I’m fine.” She retorted. Her eyes wandered over him for a moment before they flickered to the car. “I don’t know why you think I’m gonna get in the car with you. We haven’t spoken in, like, a week, and frankly, I’m not interested in speaking now.” Her words were slightly slurred, but she still had full control of herself, crying aside, and was thankful at least for the ability to speak up and attempt to reason with him now. “Go, like… spend the night with Blaine or whatever.” Ryder Ryder tried to process her answer, more confused than ever about what had happened. So a guy had taken it off for her, but she seemed more upset about it being lost and expensive to replace than the fact that it had happened. So maybe she'd been on board with it, although the idea of some random creep stealing her underwear still didn't sit well with him. It made him want to go find the guy, but the chances were he was long gone. Especially since Kitty had mentioned being ditched. "And you were okay with him taking it off? He didn't... force you or anything?" He asked, wanting to clarify the situation before he overreacted or flew off the handle.

"If you don't want to speak to me then fine, but you're getting in the car and then you can not speak to me in there. We can drive home in silence if that's what you want." It wasn't what he wanted, but if it meant getting Kitty home safe then he would put up with the quiet. "You can even have the aux cable, you can play Spice Girls into the silence of you not talking to me." He tried to offer as a compromise. Ryder tried to ignore her comment about Blaine. He wanted to ask her what the difference was between him spending one night with Blaine over two years ago, versus her having sex with Puck on a regular basis. Or even her, apparently terrible, one night stand with Finn. Why were both of those fine but he was the one in the wrong for one drunken night with an old friend? But he could sense that mentioning either right now would likely lead to them full-on arguing on the sidewalk and that was a look he was trying to avoid. If he was still bothered then maybe he could bring it up in the car once they were on the move and the doors were locked. "Ha ha, very funny. Just get in the car, Wilde. It's a twenty minute drive and then you can go back to your place and forget about me and this whole night."

Kitty Ryder’s next question took Kitty completely off-guard, and she stared at him for a long beat as she tried to process it in her drunk mind and come up with some kind of response. She hadn’t even considered that he was reading what she was saying as assault or something of the like, and the concern that laced his voice and was etched into his face stopped her in her tracks. Yeah, there was the part of her that melted at that concern being towards her, but this was more than that. There was an intensity in his eyes she’d rarely seen before. A frown falling on her forehead, she shook her head, eyes locked onto his. “No… he didn’t force me.” She didn’t really want to say more, to admit to Ryder of all people what had happened in this club, something that she definitely didn’t want to wear with pride, but she felt a compulsion to reassure him. “No, I was into it. I mean, kind of, he was ugly and I’m now having a lot of regrets, but in the moment I was fine with it. I just wish he’d given it back to me.” She mumbled.

She set her jaw, looking at him coldly as she contemplated what he was saying. She didn’t want to drive home in silence either. She wanted to talk to him, her favourite person to talk to, she wanted to recount the shitshow of an evening she’d had and have him sympathise and crack jokes and help her feel warm and safe again. But that would require her lowering her guard and potentially apologising for her part in their fight, something she was feeling a little too sorry for herself to do. She took a deep breath, crossing her arms. “Fine. In complete silence, and Spice Up Your Life on repeat.” She replied, turning on herself and walking back to his car. She opened the passenger seat and slid in, paying no attention to where Ryder was in comparison to her. Once she was buckled in with the door shut, she exhaled in relief. “God, my head hurts.” She muttered. “Do you have any water? Or an aspirin? Or a really big hammer?” Ryder Ryder felt what could only be described as a tidal wave of relief crash over him as she admitted that she had been into whatever it was that she'd been doing with this bra-stealing weirdo. He didn't care what that was, he wouldn't judge, as long as it was consensual then she could make whatever dumb drunk choices she wanted to. Having regrets after alcohol fuelled chaos was one thing, but having to live with something like the other thing was another kettle of fish entirely. "Okay that's cool, no judgements here." He reassured her, his tone already much more relaxed than it had been a minute ago.

It was also a relief when Kitty cracked and agreed to get in the car, he didn't exactly want to stand on the sidewalk like this for much longer than he had to. He followed her back, quickly climbing into the driver's seat and buckling his seatbelt in case she suddenly changed her mind and climbed out again. At Kitty's questions, he turned and reached into the back to grab a water bottle from one of the rear footwells. They were usually kept in the back since no passengers usually sat up front when he was doing rides, though Kitty wasn't just any passenger. "I don't have an aspirin or a hammer, but here's some water." He said, handing over the water bottle to her. Ryder then turned his attention to his phone, which was still sitting unlocked in its holder in the centre of the dash. The Lyft app was still open, and he opened the menu before cancelling the ride and logging out for the evening. There was every chance he'd get a negative score on his profile for cancelling a ride after it was due to start, but he didn't want to charge Kitty given the state she seemed to be in. He was here as her friend, not her driver. "Go on then, Spice Up this car." Ryder said, passing the car's aux lead to her for her to plug in her phone. His hand found the gear lever, slotting the car into drive, before pulling away from the curb to start their journey home.

Kitty Kitty turned her head to watch as Ryder pulled the water bottle out from the backseat, pushing down the urge to thank him as he handed it to her. “I would’ve preferred the hammer, but whatever.” She muttered, her voice almost seeping into levity. She twisted the cap open and took a long, indulgent drink. She hadn’t had anything to drink that wasn’t alcoholic in a few hours, and in the hot clubs paired with the LA heat, she hadn’t realised how dehydrated she was. The water wasn’t cold, it wasn’t even cool, but it still felt luxurious. She brought a hand up to wipe delicately at her lip as Ryder handed her the aux cord. She took it, rolling her eyes as she pulled out her phone and plugged it in. She had the Spice Girls bookmarked on Spotify, so it was only a couple of seconds before the first notes of Stop were pumping through the car speakers, and she exhaled, relaxing in her seat. Her love for the Spice Girls wasn’t one she shared with many people, but Ryder had been around her for long enough to know what it meant to her. This was her comfort music, it soothed her like nothing else.

She had closed her eyes, one hand on her forehead, letting the music carry her away when she was jolted back to attention by another voice singing along. She opened her eyes, turning to look where Ryder was singing along, her eyes narrow as she took him in. She watched him dance with that stupid crooked grin on his face and rolled her eyes pointedly. “God, you’re like if the Energizer bunny took SSRIs.” She muttered, turning away before she allowed the corners of her lips to perk up slightly. Ryder Ryder had been friends with Kitty long enough that he knew most things about her, including her feelings on the Spice Girls and their discography. He'd listened to the songs enough with her that he still remembered most of the lyrics, at least to the big singles. The album tracks, not so much. So when he glanced across at Kitty and saw her looking a little forlorn with her eyes closed, make up smudged from the tears, and her hand on her head, it was a no brainer for him to sing along in an attempt to both cheer her up and melt some of the ice that had formed between them.

"I'm gonna take that as a compliment." Ryder replied bemusedly. It took a lot more than that to insult him. "Stop right now, thank you very much. I need somebody with a human touch." He continued to sing as the next chorus hit, and he did his best attempt at a body roll whilst sitting down constrained by a seatbelt. "Hey you always on the run, gotta slow it down baby, gotta have some fun." The song was catchy, there was no doubt about it. He suspected he'd be singing it under his breath for days to come. As they approached the next junction, Ryder remembered that there were a number of fast food places nearby that were likely to still be open. When he was drunk there was nothing that would hit the spot quite like some hot fries and a greasy burger. So instead of taking the left hand turn that would have taken them home, he pushed the indicator stalk upwards, turning right. "I was thinking we could get some food." Ryder explained. "You hungry? Any preferences? In-N-Out or McDonalds?"

Kitty As Ryder continued singing, Kitty turned to look at him properly, finding it harder and harder to keep up the irritated and unimpressed pretense. This was, after all, what had made her fall for him in the first place; his kindness and willingness to make a fool out of himself to cheer someone up, particularly her. Of course seeing him body roll to the Spice Girls just to put a smile on her mascara-stained face would make her melt. She allowed her mouth to tug up into a small smirk as she watched, before shaking her head. “You’re such a dork.” She murmured, before turning to face the front again.

She frowned as he turned the wrong way, about to say something when he spoke and stopped her in her tracks. Part of her wanted to keep up her grudge, to turn him down with a pissy comment and demand to be taken home. But the truth was, she wanted to stay with him more than she wanted to go. That was always the way. If given the option between staying with Ryder and leaving, she’d almost always pick to stay. Plus, she hadn’t eaten since lunchtime, and just at the suggestion of a burger, her stomach growled. “In-N-Out.” She replied. She reached into her clutch bag, pulling out her wallet and holding her credit card out to Ryder. “My treat.” She said softly, looking up to meet his eyes, her face momentarily void of any humour, her white flag of surrender clear as day. Ryder Ryder counted Kitty's reaction as a win, now that she was back to facing the front and no longer angled away from him. "No shit, Sherlock," He teased as Kitty called him a dork. He was well aware of how dorky and nerdy he could be, but that's just who he was. He'd been the class clown since kindergarten and he didn't have any plans on stopping now, especially if he could put it to use and actually cheer Kitty up after what was clearly a rocky night.

It was true that hot junk food was always amazing whilst drunk, but Ryder also wanted to extend his time with Kitty. It was only another fifteen minutes or so until they'd be home, and then she'd go back to not talking to him again. So he did have an ulterior motive for suggesting this other stop. Ryder looked across at her and her outstretched card, contemplating his options. He wished that he had the ability to decline Kitty's money and say that it was no problem to treat her. But his funds were pretty low, and paying for two In-N-Out meals would easily wipe out his takings from his earlier Lyft passengers. He'd have basically driven the whole night for free. So instead he took the card from her, dropping it into the centre console for easy access once they arrived. "Thanks," He smiled in return, accepting it as the peace offering it seemed to be. The yellow and red neon logo loomed into view a moment later, and he pulled into the drive-thru lane. As the car drew level with the speaker, he lowered the window, the cool night air filtering in. "Hi, yes, can we have two cheeseburgers - one with no tomato, two fries, and two milkshakes - one vanilla and one strawberry." He said, before turning to look at Kitty. "You want anything else?" He asked, aware that he had just ordered for her but he was also fairly confident he'd gotten her preferred order right.

Kitty Kitty smiled softly despite herself as Ryder took her credit card from her, glad that her peace offering had been accepted. It was a quiet one, and had the added benefit of not having to have a drawn out conversation about what had been said - particularly what he had said to her. His ongoing avoidance of her advances was a hard topic, and his comment had stung. In her current emotional state, she didn’t really need to rehash it.

As they pulled up to the speaker, she readied herself to give her regular order, and was about to open her mouth when Ryder spoke, fluently giving her order as if he had it memorised. Which he clearly had. Her mouth fell open as she listened, a half-smirk crossing her face, before she shook her head at his question. “No, that’s good.” She replied softly, sitting back in her seat. A wave of emotion washed over her as she contended with this. It was probably something that would’ve just touched her a bit if she had been sober, but in her drunken state, it felt massive. She took the opportunity while Ryder was driving to the payment window to face away from him and look out her own window, bringing a hand up to swipe at a rogue tear. She managed to pull herself together as he paid, before turning back to him. “You remembered my order, that’s sooo cute.” She drawled teasingly, trying to offset the way her heart clenched. She took a sip of water, holding out her hand for her card and putting it away in her clutch. “D’you also remember my shoe size?” Ryder The longer they were in the car, the more the atmosphere seemed to be thawing. Sure they would probably have to address the elephant in the room, or the car, at some point. They'd both said mean shit, although this wasn't the first time it'd happened and they'd always bounced back before. He didn't see why this time would be any different. All they needed was some food, some time, and a few jokes and they'd be back to normal. He was sure of it.

Ryder looked over at Kitty bemusedly as she teased him for knowing her order, it didn't seem like a big deal to him. She was a friend and he liked to know things about his friends, although that didn't extend to what noises Puck made in bed but hey-ho, the group chat had certainly had a rollercoaster week. He also knew Blaine's fast food preferences, but he had more self-preservation skills than to bring that up in the current moment. "I don't know your exact size, but I know your shoes have been too small for you since the Dua announcement... because you're getting too big for your boots. Get it?" Ryder joked, hoping the teasing tone relayed the fact that he didn't mean anything by it. He released his foot from the brake pedal, allowing the car to roll forward to the collection window. They weren't there long before the food was ready, and he passed the brown bags over to Kitty to look after. "Thanks," He smiled at the employee before manoeuvring the car out of the drive-thru lane and into an empty space in the parking lot. There were a couple of other vehicles dotted around but it was largely empty. He killed the engine but left the ignition on, allowing Kitty's Spice Girls playlist to continue as well as keeping the air conditioning running for further comfort. "Do you know my shoe size?" He asked, taking one of the bags back from Kitty. He pulled a milkshake from it, noting the pink tinge before handing it over. He removed the other one, taking a long sip from it as he savoured the vanilla flavour.

Kitty Kitty narrowed her eyes at him teasingly as he joked. “Yeah, whatever. Actually my shoes do feel smaller these days. Especially these.” She looked down at her stilettos judgmentally, shaking her head as she kicked them off, before she took the bags from Ryder. God, they smelled incredible. As Ryder parked, she reached into a bag, stealing a couple of fries and taking a bite. She took her milkshake from him and smirked at his question. “Nine. Nine and a half for boots.” She shrugged. “I’ve known you almost a decade, of course I know your shoe size.” She murmured, taking a sip of her milkshake.

For a moment, they ate in silence, and Kitty played over the last few weeks with Ryder as she took her first glorious bites of her cheeseburger. It had been an intense time for the two of them, between the botched date at the Briony to getting high on the roof, to their confrontation on the street earlier this evening, peppered with their arguments and spats in the group chat. Her eyes flickered to Ryder’s, shadows falling on his face, illuminated only by the streetlights outside. “Can I ask you a question?” She asked after a moment, swallowing her french fry. “Earlier tonight, you seemed… I don’t know… really intense when you thought that something bad had happened with me and my bra.” She watched him in the darkness for a moment. “What was that about?” Ryder "I'm not sure if those are shoes or torture devices." Ryder laughed as Kitty kicked her heels off, but he was taking that action as a sign that she was relaxing in his presence again and that the weird awkwardness was starting to fade. He stared at her for a moment as she repeated his shoe size back to him, having not expected her to actually know the answer. He'd known Puck for almost the same length of time as he'd known Kitty but he didn't think he knew the dude's shoe size or vice versa. Kitty really did know him, he mused as he reached for his own french fries.

The burger tasted just as good even if he was the sober one of the two, unable to enjoy that extra je ne sais quoi that came with eating fast food whilst drunk. He looked over at Kitty as she mentioned her question, waiting to see what it was that she was going to ask. He took another bite of his burger just to stall giving an answer, contemplating how much detail to tell her. He supposed he could share the truth about Matty. He hadn't been ready to the other night at Briony's but he was sober tonight, and he hadn't just been blindsided by Pete so had a better handle on his emotions. "The terrible thing that Matty did, the complaint that was made to the label," He started, glancing over at Kitty nervously. "It was from a girl who'd been at one of the label club nights. She said that Matty had touched her without her consent. I really wanted to believe it was a lie or an attempted scam thing but Matty never really denied it. He always said it wasn't a big deal or he was just drunk. He never once said it was a lie or it hadn't happened." He took another long sip from his milkshake, the coldness of the liquid helping give him something else to focus on. "And I saw you standing there crying and my brain just jumped to conclusions. Thought maybe that could be why you were so upset. Sorry if I was a bit intense but I was just worried about you. That shit is serious to me, y'know?"

Kitty Kitty watched Ryder as he considered his words. As he started to speak, her forehead knotted together with confusion as he brought up Matty. What the hell did Matty have to do with it? As Ryder continued to explain, an uneasy understanding came over Kitty, and this awful ice-cold feeling that she could absolutely believe it. At the time, it wouldn’t have occurred to her that Matty would be capable of something like this, but in hindsight? Yeah, it made an unsettling amount of sense. He was smarmy and greasy and strutted around like he was entitled to whatever he wanted. In her younger years, she’d attributed that to confidence bordering on cockiness and probably would’ve found it sexy if she had bothered to look away from Ryder for five minutes to pay him any attention. Now, it seemed much darker.

She nodded and as he finished speaking, her burger clutched forgotten in her hand. She was quiet for a moment, before shaking her head. “Shit.” She muttered, putting the burger down on top of the paper bag on her lap. “Shit, Ryder, I had no idea. God, that’s why you almost punched Pete at the Briony.” Her mind raced to search for something more to say. Suddenly, the past eight years made perfect sense. Ryder’s integrity had clashed with Matty’s actions and Pete’s ambivalence. She closed her eyes as the memory of that night came flooding back, the night she’d glued herself to Matty’s lips, one eye open and staring at Ryder. Matty’s hands had gripped her hips with a ferocity that had taken her aback even then, and sickened her now. A chill ran over her skin. “God, he’d wanted me to go home with him.” She gasped out, feeling sick at the thought. “That night he and I made out, he kept trying to escalate things and get me out of the bar with him. I said no, so nothing happened, but… he was so pushy…” She trailed off, shaking her head. “Fuck, Ryder, I’m so sorry.” She breathed, turning to look at him at last, her eyes capturing his. “That’s so fucked.” Ryder Ryder felt an odd sense of validation, and unexpected relief, when Kitty was horrified by what he'd said. Maybe there was a small subconscious part of him that had kept this to himself all these years because he was afraid of people siding with Matty. Of telling him that it was no big deal and that he'd overreacted by bailing on the band, of inadvertently telling his eleven year old self that he was making a fuss over nothing. Though of course the situations were very different. But still, it felt good to finally tell someone the truth instead of brushing the whole thing off as a difference of opinions.

"Yeah Pete just wanted to be famous no matter what. He kept telling me it was not a big deal and I should just sign the contract anyway. Management just wanted to brush it all under the carpet. But I couldn't let it go." He said. "I, uh, I had a friend who went through some shit like that when they were a kid," He explained, hoping that he'd said it confidently enough that Kitty wouldn't realise it was an 'asking for a friend' type scenario. "And so I know how much that can fuck a person up. I didn't want to be friends with someone who could do something like that, let alone work with them everyday. So yeah I said I wouldn't sign if he was still on board and that was the end of our careers." He grabbed a few fries, trying not to see red as Kitty described her encounter. "Sounds like Matty." He commented dryly. He liked to think that he'd have stopped Kitty going home with him that night. Ryder had had a girlfriend with him and both Matty and Kitty were single so he wasn't sure how he'd have stopped it, but he would have tried. "I'm glad you dodged that bullet. Honestly it's bad no matter who it happens to but if he'd have done anything to you, I'd probably be wearing an orange jumpsuit right now because I would have killed his sorry ass." He attempted to joke, though he meant most of it. "Thanks. It sucks but I'd do the same thing again."

Kitty Kitty nodded, the heaviness of this conversation setting in around her. Nothing like that had ever happened to her, but something about it ate at her gut in the most painful way. Yeah, she could be heartless and bitchy and harsh at times, but there were certain topics where she drew the line, and this was clear-cut one of them. “Pete’s always been a spineless shit.” She commented harshly. “And all this makes me really glad I changed label before my last album. Fuck all of them.” She muttered, turning to look at Ryder. Adding insult to injury was seeing how Ryder had suffered as a result. He hadn’t deserved to lose everything in the fallout of this. His next words took her aback, and her eyes widened as she watched him speak. Despite his attempt at a lighter tone, there was that same intensity that she had sensed outside the club as he asked her about what had happened that evening. There was that same fervent protectiveness that she hadn’t expected from him in a thousand years, especially directed towards her. It warmed her to him somewhat, despite how shocked she felt by it all.”Thanks.” She replied, not really knowing what to say to that, not used to these kinds of statements. “I probably would’ve killed him myself if he’d tried, but… I guess that’s what everyone thinks ‘til it happens to them.” She exhaled, before turning back to Ryder. She looked at him in the darkness, and she felt her heart squeeze at the thought of this guy giving up everything in solidarity with some nameless woman who he’d believed. More than just being an indicator of the kind of person he was, the injustice of it all infuriated her. “Is there anything we can do?” She asked, feeling helpless. “I mean, I still have connections at the label, I can call someone, and…” She trailed off, not knowing how to finish that statement. What was there to do? “Fucking Matty.” She muttered, crossing her arms, her food all but forgotten. “I could go kill him now?” She offered, a groundedness in her voice despite her joking tone. “He hasn’t seen me in years, I bet no-one would even suspect me.” Ryder Ryder scoffed in both amusement and agreement at Kitty's assessment of Pete. It sucked because Pete used to be one of his best friends, but Pete had chosen Matty's side when everything went down. Or rather, he'd chosen the side which would get him the most money and benefit him the most. There was a reason that Ryder hadn't spoken to him in years before they'd run into him at Briony's that evening.

Kitty was strong, Ryder had no doubt about that. So there was every chance she would have killed Matty if he'd tried to take advantage of her. "If you had killed him then I'd have helped you hide the body." He joked. Kitty would have needed to tell him why she had killed him, but then he'd have been grabbing a shovel or some bone-dissolving acid in an instant. "Call someone and do what?" Ryder asked, a little bitterness creeping into his voice. "They knew about everything back then. They knew about the complaint, they knew about the girl. They knew that Matty probably did it since he never denied it. They were still willing to offer the contract anyway. It's not like they only had half of the information or anything, they had it all and just didn't care." The unfairness of it all was a bitter pill to swallow at times, but he knew walking away was ultimately the better choice for his mental health. Even if it did leave him with countless what if... questions. "He's not worth it." Ryder shook his head at the suggestion that Kitty go kill Matty now. "Your career is actually going somewhere, don't jeopardise it on that loser. Maybe just write a diss track about him on your next album." He offered as a playful, and unserious, suggestion.

Kitty Kitty smirked at Ryder’s promise to help her hide Matty’s body, feeling that familiar flutter in her stomach that she got whenever Ryder said something sweet to her, followed by a mental kick at herself that she found this particular promise sweet. Yet another reminder of how down bad she was for this guy. “Ditto.” She replied, her smirk spreading. “And not just for Matty. I have a list of people I’m hoping one of us might snap on, and we’ll need all the help we can get.”

At Ryder’s bitter question, she shrugged a shoulder, despite knowing that the question was rhetorical. This industry was rife with corruption and abuse and shitty people who were more interested in a quick buck than protecting the people who needed protection. None of it was surprising. She hummed in agreement as he spoke, nodding. “I know.” She said softly, not to quiet him but to agree. She smirked at his suggestion to write a diss track, finally feeling settled enough to reach back down and pick up what was left of her burger. “I fear that track would be thirty minutes long.” She muttered, taking a bite. She chewed for a minute before she looked back at Ryder, swallowing. “Listen… what I said in the group chat…” She exhaled. It had all seemed so much more innocent before she’d known the truth. Just some shitty petty little comment made in a stupid spat. “I didn’t realise how bad this all was. I didn’t realise it was so fucked. You didn’t deserve what happened and you didn’t deserve that stupid comment. I’m sorry.” The words came more easily to her than any apology she’d ever given before had. “I’m actually really sad and angry that you’re not where I am. I always thought we’d be doing this-“ She cut herself off before the word ‘together’ escaped from her lips. “Y’know, at the same time.” Ryder It was no surprise to Ryder that Kitty had a list of people in mind already. "Let me guess, is Finn on that list?" He asked in amusement. The guy may be a part of their friendship group but judging from the group chat, he and Kitty hadn't exactly been on the same page recently. "That him and Puck thing came out of the blue. I did not see that one coming." He commented. It was a major development in their group, and one he knew Kitty was less than thrilled about. He'd always assumed Finn was straight, not least because Finn had explicitly said so not even a week before.

"Thirty minutes would be more of a diss album." Ryder laughed before finishing off the last of his fries. "Though he doesn't deserve that much attention, would go to his head too much." He sometimes wondered what Matty was up to now, whether he had somehow made it back to the industry or if he was working some dead-end retail job. Maybe he was a cart collector at Walmart. He just hoped karma was real and Ryder was the one better off. "It's all good." Ryder accepted her apology with a wave of his hand. "You didn't know and also I know you didn't mean it. What you said at Briony's was proof of that." He didn't know why he and Kitty liked to press each other's buttons, to constantly get into these petty back-and-forths but he never took any of them to heart. "Doing it at the same time would have been fun but I guess it is what it is. Like I said, I'd make the same choice again." There was a moment's pause, the silence filled by the sound of whatever Spice Girls song was playing on Kitty's playlist. "I'm sorry too. I kind of started it with what I said. It was a cheap shot and I shouldn't have said it."

Kitty Kitty snorted at Ryder’s mention of Finn. “Yeah, and Puck too at this point.” She hadn’t been so open with Ryder about her and Puck’s arrangement, mostly out of hope that Ryder wouldn’t see her as unavailable, but that had probably been unrealistic considering that the two were friends. She would’ve been very lucky for that not to have come up at some point. Once news of Finn and Puck had broken, she hadn’t felt such a need to hide her disdain. “That relationship is the most cursed thing I’ve ever seen.” She muttered, rolling her eyes. Maybe it was a bit dramatic, but Kitty was nothing if not a grudge-holder, and Puck cutting her off with no warning for Finn Hudson bruised her pride worse than it had maybe ever been bruised.

Kitty nodded in agreement, knowing she’d never write a song about Matty. Her brand was girl power horny breakup pop, if that was a genre, and she’d never ever taint that with mentions of someone like him. She couldn’t help the soft smile as Ryder forgave her, nodding as he mentioned what she’d said. It had been a moment of softness, one that she rarely allowed, but it had all been true. “Maybe you’ll find a new band.” She offered. “You guys can open for me on my first stadium tour.” She teased halfheartedly. “I don’t know, I feel like it’s not over for you. You’ll still have a career in music, somehow.” This was also true, she felt it in her gut. Of course, it was no comfort, especially as her gut feeling ended with this vague statement, but she stood by it. Ryder’s apology, however, came out of left field for her, and she exhaled as the memory of that message flew back into her mind. That had been rough and embarrassing, and she hoped it wasn’t obvious to him how much it had cut her to the bone. She was quiet for a moment, digesting his words, before she shook her head, waving it off with her hand. “Don’t worry about it, it’s fine.” She tried to make her voice light, shrugging a shoulder. “That whole conversation was a hot mess.” Ryder Ryder knew that Kitty and Puck had had some kind of friends with benefits arrangement together, even if he had never been furnished with the full details. Though he had never wanted them either. He was quite happy being in the dark about the exact nature of what they got up to and had never pushed Puck to talk about it. "I mean apparently they're in love. Talk about 0 to 100." He chuckled.

"I thought about finding a new band when it first happened." He said. "But the whole thing had given me trust issues. How would I know that one of the new group wouldn't do the exact same thing? I was in Sonic Rush for three years and I didn't think Matty would do that. I didn't want to risk being wrong again. At least if it was just me then no-one else could let me down, y'know?" Ryder was slowly starting to lose hope in his own music career, gradually beginning to accept the idea that his future career maybe lay outside of performing. "It's not fine, but I think I was just feeling ambushed over the whole Blaine thing." Ryder had only been retaliating to Kitty's jibe that he would sleep with anyone but he'd definitely taken it too far. He had never really explicitly acknowledged her interest in him, so it was a dick move for him to break that by calling her out publicly in a group chat. Though the Blaine thing was his own fault for not reading the conversation properly and outing his own secret - not that it had ever been a secret secret. He just preferred to keep his sex life relatively private. "It was definitely chaotic." He agreed. "I should have spent longer catching up before replying to Tina."

Kitty Kitty rolled her eyes to the heavens. “If love exists, and that’s a big if, it doesn’t happen after, what? A week and two rolls in the sack.” She glanced over to Ryder, before focusing back down on her french fries, picking up one and using it to swirl the small tub of sauce she’d set out next to it. “It’s gotta take months at least. Years, probably. With a stupid amount of time in limbo to figure everything out.” She mulled over her own words for a moment. Ryder was the only person she’d ever come remotely close to imagining she could be in love with one day, and even then, coming to fall in love with him seemed like the scariest thing she could imagine. She picked up the french fry, sighing. “I’ll never understand why people jump into shit so fast.” She muttered, tossing it in her mouth.

She nodded thoughtfully at his words. Yeah, finding people to trust in this industry was a task, and she’d run through several bands herself trying to find one with the ‘right dynamic’ - in other words, a band who wouldn’t let their personal stuff fuck with her and her music. It wasn’t always easy. “I get it.” She said softly, before sighing. “That just sucks. You have free rein to complain about it until we die.” Kitty joked. She rolled her eyes again at the reminder of what happened with Blaine, something she still wasn’t particularly over, even if she could forgive Ryder’s comment. “Yeah, you and Blaine.” Her voice was monotonous, some irritation spilling through. “I think if you’d told the group that in-person, all hell would’ve broken loose.” She didn’t mention the part added in her mind where she was sure the police would’ve been called, because she would’ve killed someone. “It’s cute, though, even if it was forever ago and meant nothing.” Her voice dripped with sarcasm, and she turned to smirk at Ryder. “No matter how much it weirds me out.” Ryder Ryder had never been in love. He'd said those three words to a high school girlfriend once but he knew now that he'd not actually meant it. He was just young and naive, and didn't want to get broken up with. He'd bounced between short-term relationships ever since, but none had stuck around or been the one. "I guess when you know, you know." He said with a shrug. He didn't want to disparage his friends' relationship, especially if they were in the exciting honeymoon phase. "But for the record, I don't either." He added. Though Kitty likely knew that since it'd been seven whole years and Ryder had yet to jump into anything with her, despite the countless opportunities they'd had.

"Thanks, but you also have free rein on telling me to shut up about it if I'm being a whiny little bitch. Like it sucks but I don't want it to become my whole personality." He suggested. He didn't want to be someone who walked around with a rain cloud over their head, carrying a chip on their shoulder for decades. Maybe telling Kitty the truth was the first step towards genuinely letting it go and moving on. Ryder could hear the annoyance in her voice when she mentioned Blaine. He wasn't sure that it was justified, given her history with the men of their group. Although at least his one night stand had been satisfying for both parties involved. Though he was fairly sure he'd be stabbed with her stiletto heel if he pointed that out. "Even more hell than already broke out in that group chat?" He asked in amusement. It was already pretty chaotic if you asked him, the messages flying into the chat faster than he could keep up with. "It did mean nothing. I've known Blaine since we were kids. We hadn't seen each other since I was about fourteen when his dad split from Marley's mom. We ran into each other in LA and just got swept up in a moment after a few too many drinks. We realised the next morning we were better off as friends and that was that. End of, no repeats."

Kitty Hearing Ryder’s thoughts on falling in love were illuminating. She knew for a fact that he was better with this stuff than she was, his array of relationships lasting longer and appearing much more meaningful than any of her own, but to know that by his own qualifications, he probably hadn’t said that he loved many, if any of them? It was interesting, even if Kitty didn’t know what to do with that information. She smirked, turning to him as she leaned her elbow on the stick shift between them, resting her chin on her fist as she raised her eyebrows challenging. “Oh, really? Total free rein on telling you to shut up? Because I’m not gonna lie, you’re a whiny little bitch a lot of the time.” Her voice was teasing. The truth was, if there was a whiny little bitch in their friendship, it was definitely her.

She nodded. “Oh yeah. Someone would’ve spat a drink out on you guys, probably Tina. Then maybe she would’ve started crying. And I would’ve had to punch her right after I punched you two, and Finn and Puck.” She nodded as he started talking, rolling her eyes as she pulled a face and started to wave off his explanation. “Yeah, yeah, I got the memo in the group chat, I don’t need it again.” She really wasn’t sure why it bothered her so much. She hadn’t been this jealous of any of Ryder’s old girlfriends, despite disliking them for some reason or another. Maybe it was because she was close to Blaine. Maybe it was because Ryder sleeping with him shattered her theory that he was avoiding anything with her in order to not cross some arbitrary friendship line. Ryder Ryder met her gaze as Kitty challenged him on the telling him to shut up thing, playfully rolling his eyes back at her. "Okay maybe not total free rein only because you would go mad with power." He laughed. Though he was glad that the mood between them had shifted back to light and easy, and something a lot more akin to their usual banter. He didn't like seeing her upset, standing on sidewalks with smudged make up. It wasn't who she was, and a protective side of him had kicked in.

It was quite the picture that Kitty painted of how she imagined the Blaine reveal going down in person. "That's a lot of punching..." Ryder commented bemusedly. Though he believed that she most likely would follow through on that particular threat if she was mad enough. He didn't really know why he was trying to explain himself to Kitty. It's not like he owed her anything, and he hadn't done anything wrong. But it just felt kind of odd in a way that he couldn't put his finger on. "Okay fine, I just wanted to make sure that things aren't going to be weird with us, or with you and Blaine. We weren't keeping it a secret, we just didn't want people all up in our business over something that didn't mean anything." He felt the need to add. "So are we good?" He asked, hoping they were back to normal and that they could move past the weirdness of the last week or so.

Kitty Kitty’s smirk only widened at his words, before she shook her head. “No takebacks, Lynn. Be careful what you wish for.” She revelled in the teasing between them. Despite the fact that they were gotten over pretty quickly, Kitty never enjoyed her spats with Ryder. It never felt natural to be at odds with him, especially when their dynamic was so exciting and fun to her and came so easily. As Ryder continued to speak about Blaine, Kitty took a deep breath, knowing what came next. She’d have to move past it. This was generally not something that came easily to her, and she had found herself fixated on perceived slights for months to years in the past. However, looking up at Ryder’s eyes softened something inside her. The truth was, she didn’t want this to be weird. She didn’t want to be carrying around the burden of annoyance that made her sound insane to anyone she’d ever explain it to. So, she rolled her eyes good-humouredly and nodded, a smirk crossing her face. “Yes, weirdo, we’re good.” She let her eyes linger on his another moment before opening her palm, letting her chin rest on it instead. “Aww, were you worried we’d have another fight and not talk for a week again?” She asked jokingly. “I know you missed me and all, but you didn’t have to be so worried about it.” Ryder It was a relief when Kitty nodded, confirming that things between them could go back to normal. Whilst they often did argue and bicker, they hadn't yet found something that they couldn't come back from and he didn't want that to change anytime soon. As much as he liked to pretend at times that he didn't, he enjoyed having Kitty in his life. "Oh yeah you got me, busted, I missed you so much," He shot back playfully. "The last week has just been so quiet and peaceful that I thought you know what? Maybe I do need a blonde pain in the ass to come and be annoying. It's definitely one way to keep things interesting." He teased. If he was honest with himself, the truth was that he probably had missed her. The whole week had felt weird, had felt off, because he wasn't on speaking terms with her. He had known it wasn't the end of their friendship, but that didn't mean it hadn't felt wrong to not be talking to her. She was his go-to person if he had something or someone he wanted to bitch about, or if he wanted to be catty about something he'd seen online. "The only thing I was worried about was whether you'd be okay without me to keep you grounded in the real world." He teased, leaning in closer as he challenged her. Kitty Kitty knew that Ryder would joke back, and she couldn’t deny the thrill that went through her when he did. This was probably why she’d held back on her feelings for so long; the risk of losing him was too great, and she loved being Ryder’s friend. She loved the way they spoke to each other, their quick and easy banter. Kitty was used to verbal gymnastics, she filled her days with it, but it was something else altogether to do it with someone who could do it with her. “Fuck quiet and peaceful.” She turned her body so that her elbows were both resting on the center console, hands hanging off into Ryder’s space as she leaned in even closer. “You crave someone to break up your boring-ass life with a reminder that you’re not as funny as you think you are.” She let her voice fall into a faux whisper at the end of that phrase. “That is true, though. You’re the one thing that keeps me grounded.” She grinned at him, the slightest note of sincerity in her voice. “If you didn’t, then I’d just be an egotistical self-absorbed popstar. Instead, I’m an egotistical self-absorbed popstar with an irritating best friend who won’t shut up.” She pursed her lips, her grin melting into a slightly softer smile at her admission.

Ryder Kitty wasn't wrong, quiet and peaceful were boring. Ryder had never done well with quiet, ever since he was a kid. He was type of kid who everyone assumed had ADHD from the way he bounced off the walls with a crazy amount of energy. He'd learned to funnel that energy into music, which is how he'd gotten as far with his career has he had. He'd put everything he had into it, even if that hadn't turned out to be enough. "I'm hilarious, maybe I'll even switch careers and be a stand up comic." He joked, knowing he'd flop badly if he tried such a career move. "Irritating best friend? I don't know if you've ever said something that nice about me." Ryder laughed. The use of best friend had thrown him for a small loop. It did fit, he thought as he mulled it over, but it was much more affectionate than he was used to hearing from her. There was no doubt that she was one of the people in their group, and maybe outside of it too, that he was closest to. She had indeed, somehow, become one of his best friends over the years. "Besides, you want me to shut up? You're going to have to make me." Kitty Kitty's smile felt glued to her face, a warm glow in her chest as she and Ryder shot their one-liners at each other. It was like her whole body was melting, knowing that it was in this small space with its favourite person. Ryder could always make her laugh, always make her smile, always fill her stomach with the most gorgeous butterflies. At his last words, it was like the world closed in around them. He was so close, his face only centimetres away from her as the two of them leaned in together. She could smell the vanilla of his milkshake mixed with what was probably his shampoo and the smell of Ryder that she'd gotten to know so well over the years. His smile was infectious and so kind, and beamed at her as if she was the only person in the world. For a moment after he spoke, she allowed herself to believe it as well. Her eyes didn't leave his before they closed, and she rested one hand on his arm to steady herself as she leaned forward and up, capturing his lips in hers in a soft, gentle kiss. She had imagined this moment so many times before, but it was different from how she'd pictured it. Her heart didn't race out of her chest, the world didn't swim around her. Instead, everything was still and quiet. All of the rushing, all of the anxiety, all of the sound of the world or of her mind, all of it just turned off. All there was was Ryder, and her lips pressed against him, giving him the kiss that she had longed to give all these years.

Ryder It was like time slowed down as Kitty leaned in, and Ryder realised too late what was about to happen. It was instant hindsight that the last thing he said had maybe accidentally verged a little too heavily into flirting. Kitty had been ramping up the flirting recently, and whilst he had swerved or dodged most of her attempts at seducing him, it had maybe only been a matter of time before she was able to make real move like this. He froze, not knowing what to do or how to react. He didn't even know what he wanted when it came to Kitty, his mind was still all over the place on that front. Ryder had thought about what a first kiss might look like between them a few times over the years. It had never looked like this though - weird and awkward on his part, he wasn't even really kissing her back, still frozen in place. He didn't want her like this, still picturing her as drunk and emotional from when he'd picked her up, and she was probably rebounding from Puck cutting her off on the sex front. Not to mention whatever had happened with the weird bra thief. "Kitty, wait," He whispered, pulling back slightly from the kiss. Ryder didn't want to hurt her, but he equally didn't want to continue, at least not right now. "I don't think this is a good idea." He mumbled, as if saying it quietly would soften the blow.

Kitty Kitty's high was short-lived, and as Ryder pulled away, she felt the world zoom back into focus. Suddenly, she was stone-cold sober, the rushing was back in her ears, and she was blinking as she looked at Ryder, grappling with the realisation of what had just happened. A moment later, ice cold water started running through her veins. She'd finally done it, finally kissed him, only to have every single fear she'd ever had about this come true. He'd pulled away. He'd said no. It was time for her to face facts; he really didn't want her. "Right." She breathed. She pulled away and faced the front again, glad that the darkness hid the blood that rushed to her cheeks as humiliation and devastation ran in waves through her. Even if he did want her, of course it wouldn't be like this. In his car, with her several drinks in, after a complete disaster of an evening. Kitty was a mess. Fighting the urge to fling the car door open and take off for the Hollywood hills, she glanced over at him for a moment before bringing her hands up to rub her cheeks, squeezing her eyes shut. "God, I'm sorry, that was..." She trailed off, afraid all of a sudden that if she finished her sentence, she'd start crying at just how horrendously she'd blown the whole thing. Ryder Ryder felt unbelievably awkward, not quite knowing what to do, what to say, or even where to look. He wanted to rewind the last few minutes and maybe change the subject, or his body language, or somehow stop the kiss before it happened. He only hoped that their friendship would be able to survive this blip. Unfortunately whilst Kitty was drunk, he didn't think she was drunk enough to somehow be able to forget what had just happened. "No, it's not- don't be..." He tried to wave off her apology. She really didn't have anything to apologise for, she'd only been following her gut instinct and Ryder should have shut her down earlier. He should have been honest with her before tonight, but something about her kept drawing him in and he had delayed making a decision over and over again. It wasn't her fault that he'd delayed it so much that she'd taken action regardless. "I'm sorry too. I really don't want things to be awkward between us." He admitted, hoping that they would still be able to bounce back from this. Despite not being an argument, he had a feeling it might be their biggest challenge yet. Kitty If Kitty could’ve dug a hole and buried herself right then and there, she probably would’ve. Although it was definitely there, it was hard to feel the profound disappointment and sadness over the crippling embarrassment. She couldn’t believe she’d done that. To be fair to her, it hadn’t been a conscious choice more than it had been instinctive, probably a mixture of the alcohol in her system and the fact that he’d never been so close to her in that way before. She shook her head immediately as he started talking, looking down at her lap to avoid looking at his face. “No, no… don’t worry.” She managed to get out. Her heart was racing, and she could feel her head start to hurt again, probably a remnants of her earlier headache coming back and probably an early onset hangover. “Just… forget it happened.” She exhaled, looking back up at the windshield, knowing that her words were impossible, least of all for herself, even if she would do anything to forget this. “It’s the- the tequila.” She took a deep breath, turning to glance at him for a moment before she quickly averted her eyes, worried about what her reaction would be if she looked at him for too long. “I’m drunk and tired, probably, and you’re not-“ She cut herself off before she could start babbling and forced a smile instead. “Sorry. Just forget about it.”

Ryder It was hard to watch Kitty avoid his eye contact, she was always so confident and he'd never seen her like this. He had been telling himself for quite a while now that Kitty didn't actually like him like that. He was just a challenge for her, a conquest to be won. She'd been with the rest of the guys in their group, except Blaine of all people, and now she just wanted the one she couldn't have. He hadn't wanted to let her win, but now? Now it felt like they'd both lost. "You don't have to apologise," He said, with no idea what to say or do next. It was still quiet, the stillness of the early morning air sitting around them. "I've done..." He trailed off, realising that he was about to say he'd done some dumb shit after tequila before it sunk in that he would be calling her decision to kiss him dumb to her face, whilst it was still raw. "Never mind." He said instead, scrunching up the paper wrapper that his cheeseburger had come in, and flattening the fries carton to give him something to do. He put both in the big paper bag ready to be transplanted to a garbage can. "So... no more saying sorry, let's just move forward, yeah?" He suggested, not wanting to get stuck in an apologising loop. "I don't think it's a good idea to go there, but we're still good, right? This doesn't have to change anything?" Kitty The silence between them stretched on for miles, and although it was probably only a few seconds long, it felt like an eternity. Kitty glanced sideways at him as he crumpled his fast food containers, the sounds of the crinkling paper louder than explosions to her ears. The initial shock was wearing off and what was left was a deep-seated nauseous feeling and total anxiety at what kind of position they’d be in now. So, at Ryder’s next words, she felt an odd mixture of relief and sadness. Relief because she was so thrilled that she wasn’t going to lose Ryder over such a stupid mistake, and that he clearly didn’t hate her now that he was offering this. Sadness because she’d really wanted things to change, just not in the way that he meant. Sadness at the prospect of their relationship eternally being friendship, even if an admittedly good one, while she ached around him. Still, as she’d realised long ago, aching around Ryder was better than feeling painless away from him, and she did love their friendship in its own right. So, choosing relief, she exhaled and shook her head, turning to look at him. “No, it doesn’t. I don’t want it to, it would be stupid over a drunk…” ‘Mistake’ felt like the wrong word. “-impulse.” She finished. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves, her eyes wandering over Ryder’s face, trying to read it. “It won’t change anything, right?” She knew that vulnerability was written all over her face, but she didn’t care; she just needed to know that her fuck up wasn’t as mammoth as it seemed to her now.

Ryder There had definitely been a shift of atmosphere within the car over the last couple of minutes. The vibe between them was usually so fast and flowing. The conversation normally bounced back and forth without much issue. Now there were long pauses from both of them, and cut-off sentences with thoughts left unsaid. Ryder didn't know about her, but he'd never really had to edit himself around Kitty. He had always been unapologetically himself, but now he found himself worrying about what to say, or how his words might be taken or interpreted. "No, no it won't change anything." He rushed to confirm, hoping that just saying that would make it true. He didn't want anything to change, it was partly why he'd sat on the fence for so long when it came to Kitty and the possibility of anything happening between them. If he slept with her and then she lost interest, he didn't want to have risked losing the dynamic they had. Although now he realised, he'd risked losing it anyway by doing nothing. At least the former would have answered the inner questions he'd had from time to time about what it would be like to kiss Kitty. "We'll be fine." He added, deciding against bringing up the fact that he'd actually had sex with Blaine and their friendship had flourished, not died. But that seemed like it would be a sore subject best avoided. "We'll be good, I'm sure of it." He added, trying to convince himself as much as her. "Do you want to head back?" Ryder asked next, unsure of what else to say on the topic and both of them had finished their food. Kitty While Ryder’s words comforted her somewhat, they paled in comparison to her anxiety. Things were going to change, she realised with a sinking feeling, no matter how much they were going to try, and it nearly broke her heart to reckon with the reality of losing this friendship between them that had been such a constant for almost her entire adult life. Her mind whipped back to only a few minutes earlier when she had called him her best friend, and she’d honestly meant it. Oh, to go back to that and stop herself before she ruined it. “Good.” Was all she said in response. Ryder’s offer to go home couldn’t have come at a better time. She set her jaw, wrapping what was left of her burger in the paper and tossing it back into the bag, suddenly having lost her appetite. “Yeah, sounds good. I have meetings with managers tomorrow.” She mumbled the lie, tucking some hair behind her ear. “Hopefully I can squeeze in, like, five hours of sleep before then.” She glanced over to Ryder. “I hope I didn’t make you lose too much work with all this crap.” Ryder Ryder didn’t really know what else to say. The Spice Girls playlist was still going in the background, filling what may have otherwise been an awkward silence. The melodies were far more upbeat than he felt as he grappled with what had just happened. He’d tried so hard to keep his relationship with Kitty unchanged but he hadn’t anticipated that inaction would do as much damage as the wrong action. “I hope those aren’t early meetings.” He commented as he glanced at the clock on the car’s dashboard. It was approaching half past three in the morning and he knew he wouldn’t be ready for any kind of professional meeting this side of midday. Ryder dismissed Kitty’s comment about work with a wave of his hand. He hadn’t charged Kitty for the Lyft request but he would have done the same for any of his friends. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it. When I saw the drop off address I decided it was going to be my last pick up of the night before I even knew it was you. Plus I got a burger out of it so win-win.” He added. “I got decent tips at the bar tonight too, there was a bachelorette party in, so it all worked out. I’m just gonna go home and sleep now.” He explained as he turned the key in the ignition and restarted the engine.

Kitty Kitty nodded at his assertion that he was just going to sleep when he got home, thinking that a very long sleep sounded absolutely perfect to her. “I’m glad the night wasn’t a total bust.” She said softly, feeling a palpable sense of relief as Ryder started the ignition and started to pull out of the spot they were parked in, feeling illogically that maybe they could leave this whole situation behind on the small piece of tarmac. Last Time Lover was playing on the radio, and she took a deep breath, feeling comforted but also partially wishing she could turn it off to break any potential memories of this night associated with the song in the future. The drive home felt like both five minutes and four hours, and an uncomfortable silence stretched between them. Several times, Kitty opened her mouth, wanting to say something, anything, to break the tension, but each time the words died on her lips. Overriding the tension and anxiety was a heavy sadness at the realisation that this was what things would be like from now on. As they pulled up in front of the apartment building, Kitty sighed in relief, grabbing her clutch and sliding her aching feet back into her shoes. “Thanks for the lift.” She muttered, glancing at him quickly. “And sorry for the… other thing.” She forced a smile as she looked away, her hand on the door handle. “I’ll see you later.” Ryder Ryder had always found that there was a certain calmness to driving around LA in the early hours of the morning whilst everyone else was asleep. He didn't know exactly what it was but the air always felt different, felt clearer. However driving back from In N Out to their apartment building, he'd never disliked it more. The stillness and quiet outside of the car only amplified the silence inside the car. The Spice Girls were still playing but he no longer had the energy or inclination to dance and sing along to make Kitty laugh, plus he didn't know the songs that were playing even if he had felt up to it. He wasn't uncomfortable per-se, it was more that he just didn't know what to say and tiredness had crept up on him out of nowhere. Ryder hoped it was the tiredness anyway, wanting this new thing between them to be fixed by some sleep and a new day. He didn't like the idea of this being a long term change to their dynamic, to them. No, this had to be temporary. The alternative sucked too much to think about. Kitty could get any guy she wanted, and it wasn't like she really truly wanted him, so he was sure that she'd bounce back in no time. "No problem, happy to help anytime," Ryder said as Kitty finally broke the silence between them. "And there's nothing to be sorry for, don't worry about it," He added, as he began collecting his belongings. There was his phone from its holder on the dashboard, and a bottle of water from the door compartment. He just had a couple more things to grab before they could walk up to their respective apartments together.

Kitty Kitty held her jaw as she listened to Ryder’s response, her body feeling tense. She so badly wanted to believe him, wanted to rest in the knowledge, the assurance, that it wasn’t an issue and that everything would be okay between them. The problem, however, was that Kitty wasn’t very good at trusting anything, be it a person or a situation, especially a situation where she had put a friendship in such danger. Reluctantly, she turned her head to look at him, taking in his silhouette in the dark car, feeling that dull and aching pull in her chest, a deep-rooted sadness at what she had managed to single-handedly destroy in one night. All of this was agony, and she had never felt at such a loss for what to do. The tiredness of the late hour leaned on her, and she took a deep breath as a wave of nausea washed over her. Whether that was the alcohol or just a placebo symptom placed there by the knot of anxiety in her stomach was wholly unclear, but she figured leaving soon would be her best course of action. She tore her eyes from him, looking down at her lap as she quickly opened the car door. “Night, Ry.” She mumbled, stepping out and turning sharply towards the building, making her escape in her stupid high heels. As she opened the door to the building and marched up to call the elevator, the anxious knot start to move from her stomach into her throat, tears pricking at her eyes as she stepped into the elevator and tried to leave this awful night behind her.

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