Do you want me? I’m not sure
But if you don’t, then what?
Do you want the gifts back?
I can give you your heart back,
So is it only fair, then,
For me to keep what you gave me?
I don’t know what I’m meant to do.
I can give it all back if you want,
But is that weirder than keeping it?
I never want to hurt you,
But I fear I already have.
And I didn’t think I did anything wrong,
Trying not to keep myself warm,
Only to leave others out in the cold.
I want to let you in, you can stay.
We can sit in separate rooms,
But I still want you to be warm.
I could never be so cruel,
Could never leave you alone for good.
I’ll take some time, and a deep breath.
I’ll let the air cycle a few times,
And when I think I’m ready, I’ll talk.
I’ll talk with you again, carefully.
When I’ll be ready, I don’t know.
I just hope you’ll be ready too.
I’m not ready to lose you.
I don’t want to let go of your string,
And watch you float off into the sky.
I’m sending roots down for now,
But I’ll grow where I am,
And let the seeds blow away to you,
Floating on the breeze when I’ve grown.
And if your soil has healed,
Maybe it will let me rest there,
I don’t need to plant myself in you,
But I still want some part of you,
And for you to have some part of me.
I want us both to be okay,
Even if that means being alone.
I’m sorry that I broke it,
But I’ll only mend it when you ask.
I’ll let you be, for now.
I’ll come back when you call me,
And I’ll wait in the wings for now.
I have to lick my own wounds anyhow,
So don’t worry about anything,
Except your own healing process.
I hope you’re happy, and well.
I may never hold your hand,
When I need my hands free.
I need them to hold myself together.
I need them to hide my face.
I need my hands to clean my scars.
And to hold my hair out of my face.
I need them open for someone else.
For now, I still love you.
I’m just hurt, and I worry you are too.