las chicas

[s-i-p-a-o]

Bia: So, Nanda, how was your day today?

Nanda: Someone pushed me.

Diana: Well, did you push them back?

Nanda: No. They were bigger than me.

Diana: Uh-huh, Rachel?

Rachel: I’m on it.

[s-i-p-a-o]

Wow, if I had a nickel for every time I got a medal, I'd have two nickels - which isn't a lot, but it's nice that it happened twice.

Lola

[s-i-p-a-o]

Júlia: I say the f-word all the time!

Nanda: Then what is the f-word?

Júlia: ...

Júlia: Fergalicious.

Nanda *sights in relief*: Damn right it is!

[s-i-p-a-o]

Nanda: Wait, wait, wait, wait! There was arm-touching?

Lola: Yeah.

Nanda: Look, I have watched 22 Christmas Hallmark movies since Thanksgiving, so I think I know what this means.

[s-i-p-a-o]

Nanda: You need to just ghost him. Disappear. Block his number. Bonus, anything he left in your apartment now legally belongs to you. I've done that to dozens of people, and all of them got over it.

Narrator: Actually, none of your exes have ever gotten over you.

Nanda: You're damn right they didn't.

[s-i-p-a-o]

When I started skipping class, I was hoping they’d put up flyers like they do for lost cats. Missing, one stunningly attractive young women. Answers to ‘Fernanda or ‘Hot Stuff’.

Nanda

[s-i-p-a-o]

When I see a bruised apple at the market, I give it a soft hug and whisper “Who did this to you?

Nanda about street market, probably

[s-i-p-a-o]

Diana: That burger was so good, I feel like I just cheated on you.

Bernardo: Yeah I heard the moaning

[s-i-p-a-o]

Nanda: Isabela and Thiago are good together! I've been running simulations on what their kids would look like, and one of them is hot enough to be on the bachelor.

Nanda: AND smart enough to never go on the bachelor!

[s-i-p-a-o]

Lola: Diana told me that instead of being sad, I should ‘go get it, girl!’ so I’m going to go get it, girl.

Bia: Get what?

Lola: Unclear. I’ll get everything just to be safe.

[s-i-p-a-o]

da saga: "A amiga mais bonita da Bia"

Bruno: Come on, Bia, I'm your hottest friend!

Bruno: Wait, no, that's Nanda.

Bruno: I'm your nicest friend!

Bruno: No, that's Júlia.

Bruno: I'm your friend!

[s-i-p-a-o]

Ribeiro: Hey, did you come up to pack up your office?

Isabela: Listen, about the whole job thing, I thought about going head-to-head with you, but I decided I just can't stoop to your level.

Ribeiro: Well, good.

Isabela: But he can.

Isabela, looking at João Paulo: Right now he's telling everybody we work with that you stripped your way through college.

Ribeiro: Please, like anybody's gonna believe him. My dad has a drone.

Isabela: Oh, no, no, no. You didn't strip because you needed the money. Word around the water cooler is you stripped because you liked it.

João Paulo: Yeah, I know, I know. What a whore.

Ribeiro: Stop laughing at me. I am not a stripper. I am an International Relations major.

Isabela: João Paulo, if there was ever a game show called "Make That Girl Cry," I'd go on with you.

João Paulo: Oh, we'd so win the car.

[s-i-p-a-o]

*referring to their group work on their dream job (that being the president of usa)*

Ignez: Very ambitious, girls.

Carol: Yes, we know. Not many people want the job anymore.

Ignez: Oh, why's that?

Isabela: Well, now that we've disbanded the military and eliminated nuclear weapons, the position is not seductive.

Ignez: I see. That's a rather unusual costume for a president, isn't it?

Diana: We all wear togas now. It removes all the hostile competition that fashion often creates.

Ignez: This world of yours seems quite like a peaceful and loving place.

Nanda: Yes, especially since we've moved all men underground and have used them just for breeding.

[s-i-p-a-o]

Rachel’s birthday party

Gelli: This sign isn’t gonna be big enough.

Carol: It just says “Rachel’s Bi"

Diana: Wait… this could work

[s-i-p-a-o]

Rachel: Oh my God! That girl at the counter is totally checking you out!

Lola: Really? [looks] Oh, she is cute.

Rachel: Go for it.

Lola: Quel, I have a girlfriend!

Cute Girl: Hi!

Lola: Oh, can I just tell you something? Very flattered but, I have a girlfriend.

Cute Girl: Wow! Uh, this is kind of embarrassing. I was actually coming over to talk to your friend.

[pause]

Lola: ohh… umm.. Well you should be embarrassed! [leaves]

Cute Girl, to Rachel: I thought you knew I was looking at you.

Rachel: I did, but that was really fun.

[s-i-p-a-o]

Carol: One time Marta told me I was like the big sister she never had.

Lola: She said what?!?

Rachel, loudly: That she’s like the SISTER SHE NEVER HAD.

[s-i-p-a-o]

Nanda in her balcony: *trying to get Rachel’s attention by poking with a broomstick at her window*

Rachel: Why are you poking at my window?! You have a phone for a reason.

[Loud bang]

Rachel: DID YOU JUST THROW YOUR FUCKING PHONE AT MY WINDOW??