midwestern meyhem

[s-sup]

college.

What do you do after high school? Go to college, duh. Thats what your high school will tell you, thats what your favorite teacher will tell you, your family, friends, anyone really. Community college, a major state college, university, you name it- its where you should be according to all social cues. But why? Its considered to be success, and a fast track to your professional career. You can’t make it if you don’t go, and will only amount to being a fry cook at a drive through restaurant. 

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You know what I say to that? Forget it all. Not everyone is meant to go to college. Not everyone is meant to find a four year degree path and walk it. Success is not equal to a piece of paper from a school you attended for 2 to 8 years, which doens’t always even get you a job. Success is knowing that you are happy, healthy, and safe. Success is finding your place in this world and being okay with it. Its making someone random at the gas station smile, or explaining something to a little kid who doesn't understand the rules at the basketball game you're at. Impacting those around you and leaving a mark of kindness on them is success. 

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You can not let someone else’s life or belief dictate what you do for yourself. If you are miserable at college and know that you shouldn’t be there, then find a job you're happy in and won't dread going to. Go into the military, find a trade, work at that non profit, be a nanny, or work at McDonald’s- as long as its what you want, thats what matters. There is no timeline in life. There is no deadline in life. Its never to late to do something. So don’t worry that not doing it now means you never will, there is always another minute. One other thing, ignore the naysayers because its non of their business what you do with your life anyway. They don’t know your story, your truth, YOU DO- so go and get it. 

[s-sup]

ghosting.

To put it simply the idea of ghosting pisses me off quite a bit. I don’t get why people aren’t able to just say their feelings have changed or that they don’t have a shared interest anymore in the relationship (no matter the level of investment/time.) Sure, being upfront and real about it can be hard. It could mean hurting someone you care for or the fear of a hard conversation, or quite frankly it might just seem annoying. But to blunt, those are just excuses and immaturity. Why make someone guess what they did wrong? Worry about why they weren’t good enough? What they could of done to make the situation work? And any other what ifs. For your own selfish satisfaction of being done with the person and not doing the right thing? Just don’t do it. Don’t be that person. Just tell people how you feel, and what you want (or don’t want).

I leave you with lyrics to one of my favorite songs, Peter Pan performed by Kelsea Ballerini. I’ve felt this one before. Ive felt the sting of the boy just flying away and not telling you goodbye. Don’t do it. Don’t put someone through it. And girls, I’m talking to you too.

“You're always gonna fly away, just because you know you can

You're never gonna learn there's no such place as Neverland

You don't understand

You'll never grow up

You're never gonna be a man

Peter Pan”

[s-sup]

go for it

I’ve always been the type to hype you up, tell you to try, not to be scared-but I could never seem to take my own advice (and my friends never seemed to want to either.) But I finally did, and let me tell you, it was well worth it. I second guessed myself for the longest time, never wanted to show emotion or open up. I still don’t know why I was so scared, why I would always hold back. In all reality it shouldn’t matter. What’s the worst thing that could happen from putting yourself out there? You get told no, you have a few moments of embarrassment, or a day of heart ache? In the long run shouldn’t that be worth it in comparison to a life time of what ifs and regret? I think so. Sure, in my situation things worked out in the way I hoped they would. But let me tell you, the time I spent waiting for an answer to my inquiry put me at peace. I realized that I was going to be okay either way because my mind wouldn’t have to go back and forth wondering what was going on anymore. So go for it. Freaking go for it. Put yourself out there and stop wondering. It will make you feel so much better. I promise.