"You don't have a heart"

Yes i do, its black and it beats for you.

[s3ashel3lls]

▪︎ snowie ▪︎ she/her ▪︎ south asian ▪︎ minor ▪︎

Vent acct. Katseye centered.

NOW PLAYING......EARRINGS MALCOLM TODD

𓃮▶• ılıılıılılıılıılı. 1.39 @meeerlmorp

Extra extra read all about it

Mac is in his feelings and he cant get out of it

Can't get out of it, Can't get out of it, Can't get out of it

[filmed-souls]

do yall fuck with butches who sleep with plushies and stuff like that

[les-fleur]

does anyone know how to get the light back in my eyes?

[s3ashel3lls]

"Youre a girl youre supposed to wear dresses and be feminine you." "Whos gonna wear the dress when you finally get married is the man going to wear the dress?" "Js wear the a dress stoo making this a big deal its not that deep." "Boys dont like girls who are masculine." "How are you going to find a husband no one will want you." "Just wear a dress it cant be that uncomfortable." "Just wear it for a few hours youll live." NO ION WANT TO WEAR GODDAMN DRESS I DONT WANT TO BE FEMININE I AM A WHOLE ASS BUTCH IM NOT EVEN OLD ENOUGH TO EVEN CONSIDER MARRYING STFU NO IVE REPEATED SAID I DONT WANT TO WEAR A DRESS BCS I FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WEARING ONE WHY DO I AHVE TO SACRIFICE MY COMFORT AND SELF IMAGE AND SELF EORTH FOR "PUBLIC IMAGE" SO WHAT IF I'D LOOK OUT OF PLACE IM ALREADY OUT OF PLACE I DONT BELONG IM THST CROWS IM THE LAST EPRSON YOU'D SEE AT THST EVENT I SONT EVEN WANT TO AND BCS I SAID I DKNT WANT TK WEAR A DRESS YOURE BEING MAD AT ME AND I CANT DO ANYTHING RIGHT i need to calm down.

[andimamericassweetheart]

maybe i just want a fucking hug

[tragicburnout]

my love language is all of them. gimme all dat, everything

[girltalk]

July will be filled with joy.

July will be filled with love.

July will be filled with trust.

July will be filled with peace.

July will be filled with clarity.

July will be filled with miracles.

July will be filled with blessings.

[girl-on-the-subway]

july will be filled with devious lesbian activity

[bitchi4mwillywonka]

you know what's crazy? me, so stop playing with me.

[bandalbitch]

im sorry that was a bad joke. i can kill myself if you want

[cobaltkillerr]

Im nothing why am i like this why cant be i anything😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[omnipotentnothing]

I have a headache because I'm a bad person

[katseye-eyekons-world]

260630 Manon IG Update ☆

Oh my stars...

[s3ashel3lls]

i started giggling squaaling and kicking my feet like a feral cresture as soon as i saw this because what fuckity fuck holy shit oh my fucking god what the fuck do you mean i live on the same planet the same universe the same snything with her??? I am a merr mortal compared to her i need to bow doen and worship her like the goddess that she id because holy shit i physically cannot contsin the giddiness and joy and the overwhelming feeling of lesbianism after seeing that i am clawing and gbawing at the bars of my enclosure i need to be let out thank you for listening to my ted talk.

[hermsnolore]

you're learning (pretend it's not hurting)

pairings: sophia laforteza x f!reader

warnings: sophia laforteza needs a hug.

sophia texts you every birthday, every valentines, every holiday. you never respond.

prev | a/n: a little prequel me thinks

Sometimes with Sophia it really feels like you’re imagining things. Maybe you’re creating problems in your head, maybe the relationship feels too safe. You don’t know what it is, describing it takes too much effort. Sometimes one has so much to say, they say nothing at all. 

You need to talk to a friend, you know this, but it’s hard to get out of bed. Staring at your ceiling only takes you so far. And then your fingers are curling around a phone instead of her arm, your fingers are tapping away, sending her another text. Deep breaths. Your phone—cruelest of all, sends you notifications of Sophia’s story. 

Your frown can’t possibly turn deeper, hands stay still. You bury your head in a pillow, hoping it would just suffocate you instead. You’re not miserable, you’re still making everyone around you laugh. How can one do that while they’re suffering? You only peek with one eye, as if that would make it less real. One can only wish. 

Leon’s posted him filming a video of Sophia, she’s only reposted with a heart. Just a heart. It shouldn’t make your chest ache the way it does. It keeps getting hollower inside your head, your thoughts keep going away, they never gather themselves, you’re too weak to pull them in. Sophia’s slipping, you know it, and you would say something but she’ll only call you paranoid. 

And just like that, your phone gets thrown away on the other side of the room, shoes are put on, hair combed to look more put together than you are. Spotify loops through the playlist, the one you know she’ll never listen to fully. It’s been too many times of you begging her to listen. 

Going to the doctor didn’t help your cause, it’s not physical, it’s the anxiety that’s been building up for months. Sophia wraps her arms around you, whispers praises, kisses the spot under your ear, the same one that’s stopped tickling now. The butterflies have flown away. She puts on your favourite movie, it makes you cry, she puts on a documentary, makes you cry harder. She asks if you’ve taken your medication, you only reach for another bottle of wine. 

When she’s gone, the food’s left cold. When she’s off touring, the lights are never turned on in the house. There’s only a ghost of a girl in bed, shuffling and rumbling. Your head spins, it gets harder to sleep everyday. Sophia notices, but never says. She’s too afraid it’ll all end if they have a conversation. Things only get worse. 

Sophia begins to leave, Leon picking her up every now and then, flowers appear in your house, but it’s no longer from Sophia, they’re for Sophia. All from the same boy. She looks giddy, she loves her best friend. You only smile, and then your finger bleeds from picking at the skin for too long. 

Dinners, all made to her liking, movies all set to yours. It’s a fifty-fity. It’s started feeling less like love and more like a chore. Who’s to blame? 

Sophia’s around a lot less, too busy, working, taking care of her members, and what can you do but think of her? 

DOVE: hey, phia. how are you doing? i saw your tour today, rue sent me a lot of videos actually. i see you’re having fun… today’s the last day right? i don’t remember if i’ve asked, but you did say you’re coming home tomorrow right? i hope so. i miss you. text me when you’re free? i miss facetiming you. the cats miss you, olivia’s been grumpy all day, maybe she misses sleeping on your chest. and benjamin? don’t get me started. he hid out in our garage today, i’m telling you this one’s crazy, maybe he gets it from you

Sent. For hours. You sigh, fall back into your bed. Will she be back home tomorrow? It’s okay. Whatever she needs. The rest of the day goes by quick, showers, picking up cat hair from the couch, calling your friend up, almost a routine now. There's less bed rotting today, that’s a good sign, right? 

You’re waiting for this big epiphany to hit you, hoping it tells you what’s happening finally, something’s wrong but you just can’t point out what. Nothing feels quite enough, no matter how you busy yourself. Sophia doesn’t come back home on time, she always visits him first when she’s in town. She’s always with Katseye, it’s her job. You know that. You really do. But your heart just wishes. 

It’s selfish, waiting on her love to change, direct it more towards you, but what have you done? 

DOVE: hey, phia, are you in the city yet? i think you are, but i’m not sure. i asked leon, he said you’re okay, but i still wanted to check in. have your cramps gotten bad again? i know they get worse after a big show… let me know where you are, please? i’ve got your favourite snacks if need be, or i could send them over to leon’s if you prefer that, whatever makes you comfortable, love. don’t stress yourself out for me? i can’t wait to see you again

You know not to expect replies now. She does come home later, complaining about her back, no acknowledgement to the texts you left. A big hug comes your way, and it makes your frown worse. Some stupid joke about having an upside down smile. A quick peck, already hopping over to the kitchen to see what’s for dinner. She pulls you in by your wrist, spinning you around, but it doesn’t feel the same. 

You don’t understand. It shouldn’t feel this way. 

It’s like slowly descending into madness, wondering if every time the doorbell rings it’s her or if it’s a mental asylum signing away your life. You make just as many mistakes as she does, it’s not fair to expect a perfect partner. 

But your heart wishes. 

DOVE: hey, phia. leaving early for work today, left breakfast on your counter. can you make sure benji’s let back inside before you leave? he really wanted to go out at four in the morning, god, being a mother of two is hard. text me when you wake up please? your mother texted me, told her you were safe at home. maybe next time don’t get as drunk? you worried me, you worried all of us in fact. i’m glad megan dropped you off, the rest of us would’ve had a heart attack otherwise. 

Seen. Sophia smiles, dragging herself to the kitchen. Her stomach rumbles, smile widening. Olivia rubs herself against Sophia’s leg, as if saying ‘good morning,’ to the ‘other one.’ Sophia picks her up, peppering the poor creature with kisses as she goes out to get benji. 

Still no reply. Every text gets left on seen. It’s impossible to get to her. 

Enough. 

“Sophia.” 

Her eyes lift from the television, turning around to face you. She pauses the show, looking at you with wide eyes. 

“We need to talk.” Sophia’s stomach twists. Fuck. 

“I don’t think this is working.” 

“What—” 

You raise an eyebrow at her, shuts her up real quick. 

“I’ve tried, I text you almost every day, you never reply. You come home drunk, most nights. I don’t know where you go, don’t know who you meet, and god, it may not be my business but does it ever occur to you that I really fucking care about you?” You don’t shout, don’t raise your voice, in fact it’s so monotonous, as if you’ve rehearsed this in your head so many times that really gets Sophia. 

Sophia always viewed those texts, always smiled extra hard, accidentally mumbling that her ‘wife,’ texted her. She never realized in the middle of it the damage she was doing. She’s spent too much time in her own happy world. 

“I’ve… been feeling quite down for a while. I didn’t know what was happening at first, I thought it was some sort of depressive episode. I tried, I really did, I tried all these new outfits, these new movies, these new food places, but to be honest, they were all just distractions from my real problem. I’ve spent too long running from this. We’ve spent too long avoiding the obvious. I think… I think you’re what’s wrong with me.” 

“What?” 

Sophia feels her lungs collapse in her chest. 

“I just… I’m sorry. I know you’re still learning, I know you’re becoming better, but I just can’t anymore. It’s like I’m an anchor in this ocean, I just cannot leave. No matter what I do, I always end up in bed alone, every day, waiting for you to come back. It’s cruel, but it’s required. I’ve been really forgiving Sophia, but I have to beg for every ounce of attention that you give me, and that’s really not what I deserve. I just can’t do this anymore.” 

“You can’t—” 

“I think it’s time we finally break up.” You say it with a smile. One that feels so you. One that she hasn’t seen in so long. There’s tears in both your eyes, but she sees the way your shoulders lift. Sophia doesn’t try to argue anymore. Not when she can see the weight of her leaving you. 

“Okay.” 

Two hearts break. 

[pretty-path3tic-mutt]

*paw at you* let's make out

*paw at you* let's make out

*paw at you* let's make out

*paw at you* let's make out

*paw at you* let's make out

*paw at you* let's make out

*paw at you* let's make out

*paw at you* let's make out

*paw at you* let's make out

*paw at you* let's make out

*paw at you* let's make out

*paw at you* let's make out

*paw at you* let's make out

*paw at you* let's make out

*paw at you* let's make out

*paw at you* let's make out

*paw at you* let's make out

*paw at you* let's make out

*paw at you* let's make out

*paw at you* let's make out

*paw at you* let's make out

*paw at you* let's make out

*paw at you* let's make out

[xokissmegoodnight]

missing the gap ad when everyone loved katseye

[bennyshadow]

are u gonna let me sit by ur feet and lean against ur leg or do u hateme

[s3ashel3lls]

Naan is the beet creation known to mankind and i will never take this back. I will eat naan w snything and everything i will rawdog ts no hesitstion no doubt ion care ehwt kind of naan it is all naan is good naan and i will eat it all day every if i can 10/10 excellent experience would recommend 👍