“We’re all made in America”

Uncle Wiley RP account || merely an account for the goofs || Read my pinned!!!

[s3rvantinblack]

“Ahoy there boys and girls!”

The name’s Wilbur J. Cross. Creator and CEO of “Uncle Wiley’s Toys.” I was recommended by a friendy-wend of mine that I should get this app for the promotion of the upcoming “Tickle-Me Wiggly.” Though— if you’d like to get to know the brilliant mind behind such a product, I’m open to questions.

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Hiiiiii my name is Rory, the owner behind this account. I got bored and figured I’d make an account. I run the @rorysaurusr3x blog :3

Let’s set some basic boundaries and guidelines.

Weird/Inappropriate jokes are fine. But I will delete any NSFW asks. Yes, Wilbur is weird. But I am not comfortable with that.

I will dabble in ship content. (Just not any ship with the Lords in Black. That is their UNCLE Wiley.) He’s a flirty guy so ngl anything goes.

I will be using a couple tags: #OOCRory for admin posts, #Wiley-Tickle Me Wiggly for Uncle Wiley’s Toy’s related things, #Wiley-Lore for questions about him, and #Wiley-Misc for miscellaneous things. (OOC tags will also be using the “🎬” to show it’s me.)

Go absolutely wild!! I have my lore up and at the ready >:3

[chaotic-goodsir]

Ahem.

A brief presentation on The Character in the form of Made in America screenshots I took while trying to make silly text post memes.

Figure 1 & 2, Wiley:

Figure 3 & 4, Wilbur (for a few moments right after John appears):

Thank you for your consideration!

[chaotic-goodsir]

I just think that in a post-redemption/rescue Crossnamara AU it would be neat if Wilbur still got to keep some of the knowledge of magic from the deal with the Lords.

Not enough to be a threat to anyone or a rival to Holloway anymore, but enough that when John complains about a PEIP colleague one evening, the next day that colleague suddenly loses their voice during a presentation. Or maybe they find that the lunch they brought in that day has mysteriously gone mouldy.

Enough that one morning when John is driving to work, he hears 'you really don't wanna go that way today' from the passenger seat, even though Wilbur is at home. And sure enough, it turns out there was a nasty accident just past that junction at exactly the time John would normally have been there.

John is of course suspicious of the supernatural, because that's his job. And when he asks 'Did you put some kind of protection spell on my car?', Wilbur denies it, because if PEIP found out there would be questioning and testing to deal with. Worse, if John found out he would worry that the Lords still had some influence over Wilbur.

Which They don't. Well, They shouldn't. The fact that Wilbur has no idea why any of this power is still working is terrifying.

Whenever Wil is spiralling, reality starts to corrupt itself. Blood seeps from walls, objects rot or break or fuse together. It's hard to keep lying to John after an aloe vera plant has grown teeth and tried to crawl out of the kitchen window.

And though Wil can't puppet humans anymore, recently Miss Holloway keeps finding spiders behaving oddly around the diner. It's like they're trying to get at the Black Book, or the one of the other, less dangerous books on magical theory that she keeps around just in case.

They're not the ghostly white spiders that Webby sends, just ordinary house spiders, but she could swear that one of the cobwebs in the storeroom spells out HELP.

[s3rvantinblack]

whats ur favorite animal? :3

Quite a fan of coyotes if I do say so myself. Very loyal animals, I like that about them.

[s3rvantinblack]

Do you get royalties for selling the dolls?

I do, yes. But most of the money I make goes right on back to production of the dolls. They are quite expensive to produce, y’know.

[s3rvantinblack]

hey man... i uh, bought one of your plushies.. the wiggly toy? yeah, it ate all of my lasagna and bit my cat on the tail and took over my bed.. he won't let me get on and will smack me if i do and it really hurts. do i just give all my stuff to him and call it a day or?

Ah, he does that sometimes! Don’t mind him, he’s just a little bit pissy at the moment. Give him like twenty minutes, and you’ll be as right as rain!

[ashlyn-coops-deactivated2025102]

its been half an hour and he tore a hole in my favorite pillow- uhh. are you sure these are safe for little kids?...

[s3rvantinblack]

Quite sure! Just let him blow off a little steam. Your little friendy-wend is just throwing a minor tantrum.

[ashlyn-coops-deactivated2025102]

It's been ten hours. I had to lay on the floor... He came to lay beside me. Then he bit me again. I'm bleeding.

Can I get a refund.. I don't like him. I should've went for the stupid singing one.

[s3rvantinblack]

I’m sure we can make a product exchange for a Sing-Along Pokey. All our plushies are marketed at the same price. If you so wish for a new doll, just come on down to your nearest retail store and they can make the exchange!

[s3rvantinblack]

hey man... i uh, bought one of your plushies.. the wiggly toy? yeah, it ate all of my lasagna and bit my cat on the tail and took over my bed.. he won't let me get on and will smack me if i do and it really hurts. do i just give all my stuff to him and call it a day or?

Ah, he does that sometimes! Don’t mind him, he’s just a little bit pissy at the moment. Give him like twenty minutes, and you’ll be as right as rain!

[ashlyn-coops-deactivated2025102]

its been half an hour and he tore a hole in my favorite pillow- uhh. are you sure these are safe for little kids?...

[s3rvantinblack]

Quite sure! Just let him blow off a little steam. Your little friendy-wend is just throwing a minor tantrum.

[s3rvantinblack]

hey man... i uh, bought one of your plushies.. the wiggly toy? yeah, it ate all of my lasagna and bit my cat on the tail and took over my bed.. he won't let me get on and will smack me if i do and it really hurts. do i just give all my stuff to him and call it a day or?

Ah, he does that sometimes! Don’t mind him, he’s just a little bit pissy at the moment. Give him like twenty minutes, and you’ll be as right as rain!

[s3rvantinblack]

PLEAZE STILL BE ACTIVE OH MY GOD ANOTHER PERSON WHO THINGS WILBUR IS THE LIBS UNCLE

IM STILL ALIVE YES HI HELLO PEOPLE JUST DONT ASK ME STUFF ANYMORE :,)))

BUT YES WIGGLY/WILBUR IS SO FUCKING WEIRD TO ME -🎬

[thelord-ingr33n-deactivated2025]

OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. BE MY MOOT RN OR I WILL FIND YOU

[s3rvantinblack]

THIS IS A SIDE BLOG SO WE CANT MUTUAL ON THIS ONE BUT I THINK MY MAIN FOLLOWS YOU I BELIEVE (im rorysaurusr3x :3) -🎬

[s3rvantinblack]

PLEAZE STILL BE ACTIVE OH MY GOD ANOTHER PERSON WHO THINGS WILBUR IS THE LIBS UNCLE

IM STILL ALIVE YES HI HELLO PEOPLE JUST DONT ASK ME STUFF ANYMORE :,)))

BUT YES WIGGLY/WILBUR IS SO FUCKING WEIRD TO ME -🎬

[s3rvantinblack]

Has nibbly ever tried to eat you?

When I was first starting out, he tried to a couple times. He said he wanted to know how I taste, so I feed him my blood on occasion to keep him satisfied.

[stiffyck]

my favorite poor little meow meow

[inkubadoramagica]

Post-Brainwash Wilbur!

So in the past month I had this au in mind, is kinda of self indulgent since I want them to be happy but this is Hatchetfield, so of course there's going to be angst lol

So info dump time:

-In this universe, an inexplicable force was able to pull out Wiley from the Black & White and free him from Wiggly's control. He would be found on P.E.I.P HQ, where they would do some tests regarding of his slight mutations and possible trauma.

He regain his former identity as Wilbur Cross and would cooperate with P.E.I.P with the new information he has gained from the B&W, to find a way to stop the Lords for once.

Bc of his poor condition he is not allowed to go back to work yet, so he's living with John for the moment. Things could just be end like this, but there's a certain Fwendy-Wend who is not very happy that his warlock "Betrayed" him.

even tho Wilbur is amused by his new found freedom, he doesn't feel satisfied. He is not exactly the Wilbur Cross that John knew, no matter how much tries to be that man again, he doesn't feel like him anymore. How long would it take, until Wiggly finds him? Is this opportunity even real?

The au was highly inspired by SerpentCountess pastaverse, go read it, they're very good!

[s3rvantinblack]

OUGH.

[s3rvantinblack]

Are you a cat or a dog typa guy?

I am more of a cat person now. Used to like dogs more in the past though.

[s3rvantinblack]

Did you make the lyrics of Made in America on the spot, or was it a rehearsed and premade thing?

Yes it was rehearsed. Pokotho wanted to be a part of this doomed timeline one way or another. So he helped write and stage it. Not to mention he helped me write and stage the commercial jingle for commercial shoots. Dunno where I’d be without him, honestly.

[s3rvantinblack]

Wilbur you and are married btw

……Oh?

[s3rvantinblack]

Hello! Reporter Anon here!

Good Ol’ Uncle Wiley, the world wants to know. Besides Wiggly, who else ask for your services the most? Does lord Wiggly get jealous when his brothers use you for their other schemes?

🎤-Reporter Anon

Why I’d be happy to answer that for you. Pokey, mostly. The others don’t rely on me as much. But as of currently I’m Pokotho’s closest link to someone who properly understands musical theater. Pokotho has Paul, sure. But Paul doesn’t know shit about musicals. Guy just hates ‘em. That’s beside the point- Wiggog Y’Wrath gets pissy sometimes. But I made my deal with all of them, so he doesn’t express his anger with me because I’m not to blame for wanting to serve them all equally.