My Life is My Message

Hey! I recently decided to start a personal blog. I might just ponder over some thoughts and worries; or share what happens to me or anything that I feel like sharing of my life. You should probably know that I'm a cheerleader and a great fan of Japan. This might be an interesting or just plain weird conbination but this is who I am and most of the post will be related to these topics probably... Feel free to read or ignore! ^.^

[saana-chan]

Learning to do the hand-spring for the open championship in december ^-^ finally I'm not falling on my butt! XD

[saana-chan]

Double base-heel stretch!!! First try! I'm so proud of my group! ^.^ love u, gals! <3

[saana-chan]

Liberty-line :D

[saana-chan]

My first (and last) time being a flyer XD (one of the bases here is actually my flyer XD she's so strong!!!)

[saana-chan]

Last weekend I went to my fav band's concert and took a pic with their singer/front man *kyaaaaa* XD best day ever!

[saana-chan]

I guess it's pretty much the first time in my entire life that I asked a guy out (I know, I'm kinda pathetic on this field if you consider my age but I can't help it now...) anyway, HE SAID YES!!!! OMG, I was so anxious while I was waiting for his reply. It's kinda embarrassing and everything but I don't care. I'm just happy. He's handsome, fun, he makes me feel I'm the most gorgeous woman which none of my previous bfs did so... I just wanna give a shot to this... Wish me luck!!! ^.^

[saana-chan]

Sonetimes people surprise me beyond belief... I work at a cafe and a month and a half ago or so we had built a terrace in front of the shop and we had some flowers plant around it. It looked pretty nice. I said "looked" cause starting just a few days after some people started to steal our flowers from the terrace. Day after day I came to work and see there're always less flower there then the day before. Now how is this???? Those are not roses or such so why? I can't umderstand people like this. It feels like they just do it cause they can. I wouldn't mind this much if they pick the flower to give it their mom or girlfriend or anyone but no, the whole plant are torn out from the soil!.... But now's the good thing.... After the first cases we put out a sign with "the flowers wishes to stay here" on it. And few day before an old lady came in. She said she saw the sign and she grows some flowers at home and if it's okay with us she'd like to give some here for us. And here she is now, accually planting her flowers on our terrace!!! It's so kind of her! It gives back my trust in people.... :)

[saana-chan]

Where would we be if we couldn't dream? And I know we get a little crazy And I know we get a little loud And I know we're never gonna fake it We are wild, we are free We are more than you think So call us freaks but that's just the way we roll...

Jonas brothers That's just the way we roll

[saana-chan]

It's a good day to have a good day

[saana-chan]

It’s wird how the things you wish to forget to be able to move on, are the ones that stuck to your mind for ever…

[saana-chan]

Our team's performance at Austrian International Open Cheerleading Championship 2014 that was last Saturday. We got 2nd place in Senior lvl5 cathegory! Next year we'll win for sure! ^-^

[saana-chan]

Life is like a rollercoaster

These past few days really was like a rollercoaster. A lot of things happened. Good and well, not exactly bad but at least not good or happy... First of all what made me extremely happy and excited: I've passed o interview level for the scholarship!!!!! \(^o^)/ I've got the email about it on thurseday which was my b-day by the way so it was like the best present ever! Also I went to celebrate with my cheer team and other friends that day which was super fun and since my family's happens to be away during my b-day every year, it meant a lot to me that there are actually people who's willing to celebrate with me ON my b-day not after it... Then on Friday I went to a concert with my best friend. It was my b-day present from her. And it was awesome!!! Though at the end there was a bit of wierd episode too... The band's frontman always closes their concerts saying "Kiss, hug, make love! Thanks for coming!" before their last encore. And then this guy simply come up to me and said nothing but kissed me! O.o well, actually I wasn't protesting much since I have no bf or anyone (and he was quite a good kisser LOL! XD) but it was still a bit wierd. My friend was kinda shocked that I didn't push the guy away immediately but then she laughed so hard when the last song ended I did push away the guy then took my friend's hand and simply walked away! XD Then the last thing: on Saturday I took part in a Japanese language speech contest. All my friend's said I'll win for sure. Well, I didn't. I didn't make it to the top 3. I'd lieing if I said it didn' hurt. But what bothered me more that my mom such a fuss that "I know you worked so hard and you'd have deserved it and I'm so proud of you..." I know she means good but the way she says it is actually makes me feel more like a failure and remindes me that I kinda let people down by not winning... Though I wasn't that much expect that I'll win (one might say that maybe I lost due to this attitude, but I don't care) I rarely win anything in my whole life so I kinda used to it. Still deep down in my heart I start to hope when all those people say "you'll win for sure!" And when I didn't, I felt kinda stupid for hoping. And the awkward moment wheb the people who came to support me look at me and you see that day don't know what to say... anyway, I did accomplish one thing with it. I never thought that one day I'll have the courage to go on a stage and give a speech like that exposing my feelings. The best moment was when my teacher said how much she was touched due to my speeck (even though she helped me prepare for the contest so she heard it a bunch of times already...) So it was a really busy messy few days for me. I still feel a little emotional turbulence but I guess it'll pass in a few days... ^-^

[saana-chan]

Exam

Today I took the exam for a scholarship. If I'd managed to get it I'd be able to study and do my research on a Japanese university for a whole year, all expenses covered... I really, really want it but I'm afraid I messed up the test >.< It had 3 parts and last one was practically N1 (a.k.a. native speaker) level. I could just guess the answers for that part... >.< And even if I managed to pass this level, there's an interview next week as well... Ah... let's hope the best! ^-^

[saana-chan]

Where do you cheer ?

I live in Hungary and I cheer with my University team, Eötvös Lorand University.

[saana-chan]

After practice fun with my darling friend ^-^ He's amazing, isn't he? XD

[saana-chan]

My best shots from the photoshoot mentioned in my previous post ^.^ I'm actually quite proud of these XD

[saana-chan]

Center of the world?

Today I was thinking if it's okay that I want to be the center of the world. Not as "I'm the most important person in the world so you should all admire me!" But just being the center of one person's world as in being the most important someone in their life... Right now I don't have a boyfriend or anyone special but I must admit that I kind of miss the special feeling that comes when you're in a relationship. I didn't say the word "love" purposely. I'm not sure if I can believe in love after my experiences... With my first serious bf we were together for almost 5 years and theast year was almost killing me emotionally. Trying my best to keep us working yet ending up blamed when things didn't turn out good; this coming from the person that I put in the center of my world; and in the end saying that dumping me was for my own good... Still I was able to close the door on those years and move on... The next time was even worse than that. After more than 2 years of being together and being happy (or at least I thought so) He just started to avoid me, like stood me up when we should've meet and such then one day he just said "we have to talk" I knew what that mean. I tried to bear myself for it, not letting him see me cry but I just couldn't. The worst was that he was lieing straight to my face with his every "reason" why this didn't and won't ever work between us. This happened last spring. The "funny" part is that he sent an e-mail a few mo ths ago that he wants to get back together and would being a better bf and all that shit... As if I'd ever take him back! I didn't believe in second chances in relationships to brgin with but with him, I won't even considerate it... Anyway, I think I drifted away a bit from my original topic >.< sorry! The point is that I think any relationship could work if the partners have some common interest but mostly if they'd be willing to put some effort into it. If they're willing to put the other i to the center of their world. This shouldn't mean giving up ourselves or our interests for the other but sharing what we could yet respecting the rest in our partner. Both should be able have their friends or hobbies that's just their own... And why this musing came to me today? I'm not really sure. Maybe cause my b-day's coming up in a few days and when I was younger, naive and I still believed in romantic, pink love, I was kinda sure that by this time I'll be happily married... Now I don't even know that I ever be. It's kinda sad and lonely... But even without someone special, I have happiness in my life so I'll try keep my eye on the good things and don't care about the rest! XD And maybe someday even I can find that person whou's willing to put me in the center of their world (there, the hidden romantic in me broke free from its hiding place XD)