Look How They Shine

My Name is Sabes. I am 21 years old. "Life imitates art far more than art imitates Life."

[the-future-now-deactivated20170]

Remember Emma Yang’s name — she has a bright future ahead of her (x)

follow @the-future-now

[throwtime]

I’m about to have a fun afternoon.

So my trainer’s bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He’s holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him. Which she refuses.

She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial artists, a body builder, and… wait for it…. a Navy seal. We’re gonna go get her shit for her.

This should make for an interesting story.

[throwtime]

So everyone who commented on this being like the avengers, you are absolutely right. That’s what all of us had in our heads as we were rolling over to dude’s house. But I’m very proud to say, this ended without violence.

Arrival:

So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebacker’s explorer and headed over to dude’s house. Ok the squad: you all know me, but the other martial artist is a little wirey hapkido guy, the linebackers are all giants (an estimated combined weight of I’d say 750-800lbs), the wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla, then the navy seal looks like your average guy but something about him is unsettling. Really unsettling. Unfortunately, the body builder had to work. Anyway, we send the Hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first and dude answers, screams at them, and then slams the door in their face. Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the door bell again. Lo and behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access. Finally, me and the seal join the fray. I casually make my way towards the front of the group, but the seal decides to CLIMB THE BANISTER. We all just turned and started at him completely shocked when dude answers the door. He looks at this weird mismatched group of relatively threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister like batman. He was like “FINE. Go take what you’re looking for.”

Retrieval:

So we’re all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things and putting them into two boxes. Mind you. We are completely guessing. We didn’t even tell her we were coming, therefore we had no list of items.The only one really being productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff. The linebackers were just randomly picking up furniture, turning it over, and putting it back down. Just showing off how strong they were. In case the numbers game wasn’t enough, I guess they were letting him know they could break him if they wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house. Walking behind him, not saying much, just being creepy. Then there’s me. Who was causing general mischief…. He said to take what I was looking for, that’s what I was looking for. Ahaha and the wrestler made a fricken sandwich. Because “you guys look like you have it under control, and I’m a sucker for egg salad.” We were in and out in 15 minutes.

Delivery:

So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl’s spot. She was conveniently outside when we rolled up. We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other. The truth is, we don’t. She sent us all an email once and didn’t blind copy us all. She vented to all of us about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that. We told her that we went to see her ex. “OMG what did you say to him?” Nothing. We’re not messenger boys. We’re delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of stuff. She went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff. Then she got to my box and asked “Wtf is all that shit.” So I explained that I took all the batteries out of his remote controls, his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet, every pair of dress socks that I could find, the laces out of his running shoes, and all the toilet paper in the house. The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed. She then unexpectedly started CRYING and thanked us. So you have this group of meat heads all standing awkwardly with this weeping trainer. It was quiet for a second when the seal was like “So…. chipoltle?” And we all got burrito bowls.

What a great day.

[thedragonflywarrior]

This is literally the most beautiful and thrilling tale. Start to finish.

[fightsinlipstick]

I am almost in tears I am laughing so hard. This is beautiful. I can’t believe you took all the toilet paper. I’m dying. Help. It sounds like the start of a joke: two martial artists, a wrestler, two linebackers and a Navy Seal walk into a Chipotle.

[abrandnewtomorrow]

I have reblogged this a dozen times and I will reblog it a dozen more.

[leaper182]

This needs reblogging. I’ve read this before, but it’s still priceless.

[science-geek]

I don’t reblog this amazing piece of human cooperation, assume I’m dead

[breelandwalker]

IT’S BACK!!!!!

[potterolympiangames]

Some make this into a comic!!!

[micdotcom]

Watch: John Oliver lights up Trump, Billy Bush and all the fleeing Republicans for this whole f*cking mess.

[micdotcom]

Watch: Stephen Colbert went to visit Jon Stewart — and then brought back “Stephen Colbert” to rip on Trump

[archiemcphee]

Today the Department of Awesomely Good Deeds salutes Mustafa Efe, Imam at the Mahmud Hüdayi Mosque in the historical Üsküdar district of Istanbul, Turkey. In addition to his religious and community leadership work, Efe is a devoted animal lover with a great big heart. Last year he began welcoming the city’s numerous stray cats and their kittens into his mosque. Efe refers to his feline visitors as “guests” and wants them to find safety and warmth within the walls of his historic mosque, particularly during the cold winter months.

One mama cat was observed bringing her newborn kittens into the mosque one by one. She carried them in her mouth up the stairs and over to the safety of the mosque’s pulpit, where she proceeded to groom and feed them:

https://safe.txmblr.com/svc/embed/inline/https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fembed%2FHT9_ro9pEN4#embed-5700010f72985308358292

On Facebook Imam Efe wrote, “The kitty has found the heart of compassion and mercy.” Meanwhile other feline guests are known to sit in on Imam Efe’s sermons alongside human congregation members.

[via My Modern Metropolis, BuzzFeed, and Bored Panda]

[viergacht]

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

[lemonsharks]

no but but the grey one in the second picture attentively listening to the imam MY HEART MY HEAAAART

[drunkenhills]

My kind of content

[chirikli]

I’ve reblogged this before but I need it again because masha’Allah I need to visit

[lesbian-moon-gf]

*that lady who could not deal with the swimming fat cat’s voice* spiRItual acTIvities

[politicalmachine]

[politicalmachine]

Donald “You Can Only Speak Over Women” Trump

[ianbrooks]

[welcome-foolishmortals]

This is going on my tumblr again.

[xeduo]

every october

and some of the months in-between

[gen-tan-deactivated20121121]

I get it…

[wasted4ge]

when the one ghost turns his head AWW HAHABAHABH<3

[sabes-in-a-bottle]

Donald👏🏻Trump👏🏻Raped👏🏻A👏🏻Thirteen👏🏻Year👏🏻Old👏🏻Girl👏🏻And👏🏻No👏🏻One👏🏻Is👏🏻Talking👏🏻About👏🏻It

[lookatmeheyoverhere-deactivated]

Hillary 2016

[runwithskizzers]

WOMEN HAVE SEEN THIS COMING FOR YEARS

[extremelycursedimages-moved]

probably the first cursed image i ever saw. as it ages, it grows more and more powerful

[sobeitjayt]

View this post on Instagram

lol

[cantcontrolthegay-deactivated20]

[lady-of-redemption-deactivated2]

He did it. He actually managed to describe how it feels to live with depression and suicidal tendencies.

[witchycats-deactivated20160113]

this is really, really important

[biscuitsarenice]

She Came Prepared The Daily Politics presenter was chatting to Charlotte and Henrietta about banning unhealthy foods in schools.

[dramastarter-deactivated2013082]

nobody can know

[petty-revenge-stories]

Screw over the neighbourhood and have your beach views revoked.

My family and I live in nice suburb about a block away from a great beach, we moved in a couple of years ago. The community is on a slight hill, so everyone enjoys a small view of the sea and bay from their houses and everyone knows everyone else.

Previously the neighbours had all gotten along and been friendly, but that all changed just before we moved in. The house next to ours (which was some prime real estate)had been bought by some developers, who planned to tear it down and put up some double story gaudy monstrosity full of small units. Many of the neighbours took issue with this, as the community is full of single story houses, and a double story would be able to peep into everyone’s backyards as well as blocking people’s views of the bay. So a lot of the neighbours took action to prevent it being constructed: they signed petitions, threatened legal action, did everything possible to try and stop it from happening. Eventually after a few months of this, developers decide it’s too much bother, and sell property to someone else. Neighbours celebrate their victory over nasty unfeeling developer and think that’s the end of that.

A few weeks later, a local couple who had been spearheading the effort to drive the developers out of the place, bought the property they had been fighting so hard to preserve. Then they promptly demolished it. Then surprise surprise they built AN EVEN BIGGER AND TALLER two story house than the developers had originally planned. They sold their own house and moved a couple of doors down into their new one after it had been built. Naturally everyone felt pretty pissed off but didn’t ultimately challenge it that much, the couple indicated they would fight tooth and nail to build what they wanted. They were no longer invited to some local BBQs but that was the only real repercussion. They now have superb views of surrounding area and beach at everyone else’s expense.

Anyway so we move in shortly after all this, and hear from many annoyed neighbours how the couple basically fucked everyone and can now see into everyone else’s yards. With out backyard facing their balcony, my dad decides he wants a little more privacy, and plants some very large and sturdy trees right at the back of our property along the fence line. As our house is situated between theirs and the beach, these trees when fully grown in a couple of years, will block out any view they might have of the beach. In addition, the trees will be mostly unprotected from winds coming off the bay, while they can live through such winds they will undoubtedly shed a shit ton of leaves into their nice clean pool and yard.

Enjoy your new view and lowered property value, you pricks.

Petty Revenge: Your daily dose of the best petty revenge stories. | source

[nuclearharvest]