She Writes

The words want to flow, so I let them I follow from @the-inevitable-achiever

[sabthewriter]

Intrusive thought:

I don’t think I’m anyone’s first choice

I don’t think I know anyone who would pick me

Unreservedly

Time after time.

Am I not consistent enough,

Unreliable?

Not sincere or genuine enough?

But stop.

If I dipped into the mind of either a stranger or friend.

They probably have the same thoughts

Who would pick them?

Would I pick them?

Time after time?

And I realised that

No,

I wouldn’t.

Not because they’re incomplete

Or lacking a righteous virtue.

But because they aren’t my everything,

They need not be, neither I them.

We’re all someone and something to someone.

Even if it’s a stranger or ourselves.

And such simplicity is all we need.

[sabthewriter]

Make time to read,

Strum the same chords over and over

on that beaten-up guitar,

Write poetry,

Doodle in the margin,

Sit in the sunshine.

[sabthewriter]

Dont lose yourself

As you drown

In what needs to be done

Don’t breathe in.

Hold on.

Just a little longer

Kick your legs

Rebel.

Rise to the surface.

Your lungs scream,

Let them.

You’re almost there.

[sabthewriter]

Sometimes we reflect

And realise our lives are the anithesis

Of what we dreamed.

What our parents dreamed.

What our ancestors dreamed.

Blood and sweat mingled in the

Soil of a foreign land.

Where you branded a stranger

Struggle,

Though determined to forage,

Dig deep, and establish yourself.

But I hope you see and have the courage

To map out new dreams, and forge new paths.

Because the greatest dream of all

Through years past and to come.

Has and will always be

That the blood in your veins,

And the love, laughter, and song it carries;

Lives on.

[sabthewriter]

I am so sorry

And I know it will never be enough

But I am,

For the pain that lives beneath your skin

Because those you loved

And had access to your skeleton,

The bare bones of who you are

Decided to hurt you.

To try and conquer the light that lives within you

But I daresay

That the light was there first

And it will not be vanquished.

[sabthewriter]

Why do you want so desperately

to contain me?

I’m fluid,

I’ll slip through every crack

I’m fire,

I burn through every seal

I’m youth,

I’ll outlive the walls of your mind

I’m life,

Boundless and abundant.

[sabthewriter]

Let me go,

You don’t trust me to love you

Release my heart

You don’t believe

that I’ll hold you close,

I’ll let you win.

Prove you right.

Give me back my soul

And I’ll let you fall

[sabthewriter]

You’re hurting me

The lack of trust

The biting words

The scalding looks

The judgemental sighs

As you roll your eyes

[sabthewriter]

I don’t want your money,

I want your time,

Your attention.

Devoted,

Unwavering.

[sabthewriter]

What’s real and what’s fake?

What’s flesh, blood and bones

And what is... not?

“She’s fake and I’m real”

But if you cut her, she bleeds

If you wound her, she’s hurt

And when she’s hurt she cries.

And you; emotionless

While you break her

Are just as real,

It’s only that you have callouses on your heart.

[sabthewriter]

Whoever said misery likes company, 

doesn’t know her like I do.

She curls up in the crevices of my heart

Expanding slowly, 

leaving no room for any other. 

Misery loves me lonely.

[sabthewriter]

With just one swoosh of your brush,

you can ruin me.

A masterpiece,

yours to create 

to modify, manipulate.

[sabthewriter]

I can be fierce and gentle,

Painfully loud, yet the softest soul.

I don’t have to be all of one thing,

And that alone.

I don’t want to be a canvas, painted

All the same shade.

I want to be a thousand hues of the same

Primary colour,

I want to be splashes of this

And oceans of that.

Peaceful rivers and streams,

Yet whitewater, and plummeting from waterfalls.

Why shouldn’t I be more?

[sabthewriter]

Overwhelmed.

Like an incoming tide,

That you saw from a distance

And expected to swish around your ankles.

But instead came racing towards you

Wrapped around you,

Now pulling you out to sea.

Overwhelming.

Like a stroll down a familiar road,

A smile on your face

Content.

The sun shining pleasantly on you,

And walking into a wall.

And standing in the shade.

Having full confidence

That the sun’s on the other side.

But not knowing where the wall came from

Or how to get around it.

Yet desperate to bask in the sunshine again.

[sabthewriter]

Tell me what love is?

I’ve heard you explain in careful words,

All that it is not.

But how does it look?

What should it do?

Tell me.

How will I recognise it on a frozen spring evening?

Because I say,

A thought is not enough.

Your thinking of me, won’t warm me,

And the fondness that you hold for me,

Won’t remove the tremor from my bones.

As you reminisce on how I’ve charmed you,

The lingering winter will rob the life of me.

Love is a fire,

But one that can only warm a soul, when it is shared.

[sabthewriter]

There seems to be something on the inside

That reaches out for help 

Even when our lips are sealed shut

And it appears every part of us is too stubborn. 

There’s something called a soul

That demands it’s host survive

And then, our eyes speak words 

Our tongues cannot. 

They cry out in a language 

only an angel can understand.

[sabthewriter]

It’s okay, 

You don’t have to be able to relate.

This is my story,

with all the misplaced punctuation,

and mispelled words.

Paragraphs unstructured,

themes and plots skewed.

It’s a mess, 

but it’s mine.