“No! My only weakness! Dying!”
“That doesn’t count, right?”
“Do you have any friends? Real ones?”
“Oops, that happens sometimes.”
“I’m a squirmy little fella.”
“I like food, I like love, just let me write about it!”
“Oh, he gets so cute when he’s thirsty for power.”
“I’ve never actually broken any of your stupid laws… in front of you.”
“I hate everything you’re saying right now.”
“We’d be the strongest power couple ever.”
“Self-doubt is a prison you can never escape from.”
“Anyways, let’s bounce before any more monsters fall in love with me.”
“I am not your cutie pie!”
“No one wants an un-oiled snake.”
“Remember, never befriend a man in sandals and always measure twice, cut once.”
“Be back by nightfall or risk mortal peril!”
“I know I’ve had enough delight for one day.”
“Sorry to break it to you, ___, but no one here is that well-dressed.”
“This has been a rough day.”
“Big houses always belong to big whack jobs.”
“Wizards are just old people with glitter in their pockets.”
“Anyways, your food is gone and we are too.”
“Never trust a man in casual drapery.”
“All that mean-spirited laughter made me sleepy.”
“I don’t like this. I really don’t like this.”
“All your food was so tiny and cute.”
“If you can think of a better plan I’d love to hear it.”
“Betrayed by my own cool accessories.”
“I didn’t have to be part of this!”
“I think I’ll head home and look at pictures of animals that are still… alive.”
“Wow, you’re so unnoticeable I almost rolled into you.”
“It’s okay, the thorns only went through a few layers of skin.”
“Alright, into the darkness you go.”
“Oh my god, I haven’t eaten real food in so long please give me some.”
“You can’t just cut open a human, can you?”
“Keeping junk in my pocket saved my life!”
“Ahh, baby’s first wanted poster.”
“Even demons have inner demons.”
“This is my paying attention face.”
“Look, now we’re boo boo buddies.”
“It’s like a rainbow, but looking at it turns you inside out.”
“I respect your cunning but I also hate you for it.”
“Oh, gross. Can I keep that?”
“This is terrifying, so why do you look so happy?”
“I’m kind of over that nickname, but okay.”
“Oh, what lovely thing do we have here? It’s just so dang shiny, oh my.”
“And look, I drew flip book.”
“I will literally do anything to stop this.”
“If I’m seen, I could go to jail… again.”
“Alright, let’s see this mess.”
“Time to prepare for bloodshed.”
“Welcome down to my level!”
“I know I should be repulsed but that look is fierce.”
“I’m gonna steal everything that’s not nailed down!”
“I was up all night poison tasting and, for some reason, I don’t feel great.”
“I need an extra pair of eyes looking out for pickpockets. And an extra pair of hands in case I want to pickpocket.”
“I got leaves in my pants. And I like it.”
“You think this can stop me? I can still bite your ankles.”
“If you’re gonna eat me, just do it now!”
“___, you’re getting all swoony again.”
“Rivals are meant to be annihilated, not befriended.”
“Witches eating babies is so 1693.”
“I thought we were as cool as cucumbers but we’re as sour as pickles.”
“Whoa, I almost passed out.”
“It’s been hours, how can it keep screaming!?”
“Say that again and I steal your tongue.”
“Keep going, this is fun to watch.”
“Isn’t that taking it a bit too far?”
“Just go away before things somehow get worse!”
“And who doesn’t like their name in lights?”
“That’s the incorrect reaction!”
“It’s like demonic possession with the ones you love.”
“This is just like my favorite early 2000’s movie!”
“I’m so old… and pointy.”
“I’ve got some very confusing emotions right now.”
“My life’s not a joke! But yours is!”
“Novelty costumes are where I draw the line.”
“I am not above disrespecting my elders.”
“This vacation just took an alarming, back-alley turn.”
“Geez, I thought I’d like being babied. But I feel small and helpless, like some sort of baby.”
“Hey, take this, society!”
“I didn’t like her telling me what to do before, but now I love it!”
“Let’s go let out some teen angst!”
“This is how the cool kids ride. Super backwards, on purpose.”
“Your life is pretty terrible. But, hey, it’ll probably be over soon.”
“This is some of my best work, really captures the shame.”
“That’s sweet, kid. Now let’s never speak of this again.”
“Oh, look what you did. I’m gonna go rub it in.”
“That seems like a potential problem to me.”
“You being the razzle, I’ll bring the dazzle.”
“Do you always have confetti on you or—?”
“You’re just gonna be unhelpful, huh?”
“Okay, time to run for no particular reason!”
“Oof, I’ve had this nightmare before.”
“Like I’d actually apologize.”
“I want power, and I want drama.”
“Are you ready to give up?”
“I was afraid, I acted stupid.”
“I just wish you told me the truth.”
“You know, it didn’t taste as bad as I thought I would.”
“Impressive, still alive.”
“This is a throne worthy of a tyrant!”
“No, no, keep those sticky hands away.”
“No one wants to see that.”
“Since when are you into sports?”
“Don’t spend all night plotting revenge.”
“Oh, this is an interesting development.”
“I’ll take that weird grumble as a yes.”
“I’m feeling confident about this plan.”
“If you run, you’ll just make it harder for yourself!”
“Your pride has destroyed you.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever be clean again.”
“If you ever want to search for the truth, I’ll help you.”
“Aww, that’s a horrible lie.”
“Partake of my free snack samples!”
“Why isn’t anyone paying attention to me?”
“A, eww. B, I’m bored. C, I feel like pickpocketing some dork while they browse.”
“Ugh, what are the basement dwellers doing out in natural sunlight?’
“Hey, there’s more to life than shipping.”
“___, I know you’re trying to help, but I think you’re crossing a line.”
“You’re ominous, and I like it.”
“And of course you would be here just to be a nuisance.”
“I wanted to compare sunglasses.”
“Fame can really box you in, you know?”
“Besides, if anyone’s putting you down it’s gonna be me.”
“If it’s disappointing in any way I’ll spend the rest of my life trashing it.”
“He scammed us. Can you believe he scammed us?”
“Good entrance. But that outfit? Hah!”
“I’ve got a new crush and her name is education!”
“I have never seen such an extravagant earring.”
“Wow, a surprisingly peaceful domestic moment. When will it be ruined?”
“Weaponizing my pride, well played.”
“Sorry, whoever’s over there!”
“Well, go on. Eat the snow.”
“Huh, it’s no fun if they don’t tremble.”
“Oh, okay, alright. Yup, an idea’s happening.”
“Shh! I don’t need your validation!”
“Get back here before that thing bites you!”
“Cool. I didn’t actually think you could do it.”
“Alright, your adorable banter is literally making me sick.”
“Believe it or not, I’ve seen worse.”
“Aww. I won’t be doing that, but thanks.”
“Quitting: it’s like trying, but easier.”
“You humans are filled with liquids, right?”
“I guess I have always liked pouring things into other things.”
“Time to scrounge through the trash.”
“I ain’t no desk jockey.”
“You don’t know diddly dang about squiddly squat!”
“You have an aura of lies.”
“Also, you can eat trash.”
“Do the right thing, you dingus!”
“It just goes on like this for an hour.”
“Carnivals bring crowds and crowds bring suckers.”
“We’ve got scams to run.”
“I know poison when I see it.”
“You can’t scam a scammer.”
“You should really put a lock on your closet.”
“Now this is my kind of weird.”
“That’s way safer than becoming blood brothers.”
“Beat up the man and steal his things for me.”
“This mama is ready for trauma.”
“Curse these stubby legs!”
“Sketchy carnival rides are not to blame this time.”
“___, you’re lucky I can’t be mad at your adorable antics.”
“Just when I thought I couldn’t respect the law any less…”
“Aww, what a supportive sign.”
“Yep, I just counted to one million.”
“Looks like we ruined his life for a second time.”
“I’ve always wanted to own a jagged piece of cheap metal.”
“Yes! Bread puns, bread puns forever!”
“Now I know what friendship tastes like.”
“I think today is a talons day.”
“It’s fun because it’s stupid.”
“I’ll admit, I was adorable.”
“Be careful with my brain.”
“Wouldn’t you rather talk about it?”
“That’s my motto after all, ‘Out of sight, out of mind.’”
“No schemes, no plots, no ruses. None.”
“I can’t believe I made him cry.”
“Are you solving a crime or about to commit one?”
“Sadly this is one problem crime can’t solve.”
“I’m supposed to choose someone interesting, accomplished, and noteworthy. People aren’t meant to be all those things!”
“Yup, her brain’s burned up real good.”
“Be still my fantasy-loving heart.”
“I’m pretty good at getting stuck inside people’s heads.”
“Hey, I found something magical.”
“I’ma put my face in it.”
“It’s like a little doghouse for angels.”
“If you’re handing out attention, I deserve it.”
“I really messed things up.”
“It’s eggs, it’s full of eggs.”
“No one turns down an interview with someone this pretty.”
“Me? Avoid? What? No. But let’s skip it.”
“There’s levels to me, kid. Levels I say!”
“Oh, right, I put people in there.”
“I’m gonna hug you so hard you’ll never forget me again!”
“I regret teaching you about the internet.”
“Ah, a severed hand. Perfect response.”
“Hmm, the demon at my shoulder makes a good point.”
“Always trust a shoulder demon.”
“The more I look at him, the more uncomfortable I get.”
“Man, you’ve got some quick grabbers.”
“I can’t wait to get overdressed, take awkward photos, push all the buttons!”
“We’re gonna turn this bloodbath into a fun bath.”
“Do you think I could pull off red eyeshadow?”
“Girl, you could pull off anything.”
“Ominous footsteps, creepy woods, this is no problem.”
“___, you always go overboard and I end up bailing you out.”
“Now, what’s the fun in watching a kid get eaten by a monster if it’s my kid?”
“___, I don’t think you’re ready but we’re literally out of time.”
“Why so twitchy, witchy?”
“Teenagers are brutal. They’ll boo anyone and that kind of public humiliation will stick with you for life.”
“You look nice. Strange, but nice.”
“Honestly, I’m kind of amazed with how fearless you are.”
“You’ve done things I could never do.”
“Thing is, you’re sitting in my personal chitchat zone, which means you gotta talk.”
“Cheating a isn’t anything to brag about.”
“Well, can’t reason with crazy!”
“I’ve been talking for too long.”
“I don’t know much about sports but I do know about sports movies.”
“What happens in the montage stays in the montage.”
“Not everything can be solved with a good attitude and a dope movie soundtrack.”
“Sorry, I just really love backstories.”
“You just destroyed your social life.”
“That’s such a stupid rule!”
“You’re not gonna show this to anyone, right?”
“I haven’t forgotten what you promised me.”
“Ahh, you’re a thorn in my side but you always dig your way into my heart.”
“Ahh, it’s a fate much worse than death if you think about it.”
“Please don’t make me regret taking you here.”
“Love me a properly ventilated castle.”
“I spy with my little eye something coming this way!”
“I’m going away and I don’t know if I can come back this time.”
“And ___, thank you, for being in my life.”
“I want her back as much as you do.”
“Don’t look at me like that, this is for your own good.”
“Ah farts, I got caught.”
“You understand, don’t you?”
“Please tell me that’s not as bad as it sounds.”
“To be great, you have to make sacrifices.”
“Ahh, ___, you chose the wrong side.”
“I like your spirit, but try that again and things won’t end well for you.”
“Go on, then. Go be a hero.”
“I may have lost but so have you.”
“I can teach you what I know, and what we don’t know we can learn together.”
jacobvanloon
kaledo-art
prguitarman
germansingergirl
andulkaphoto
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