Sacramento Taco Blog

Covering Sacramento taquerias and happy hours. To contact: jasonmackcomedy at gmail dot com.

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Wanna get tacos?

Hey. I’m looking for guest bloggers, recipe sharers or anyone who wants to get some tacos and snap a couple pictures. Sac area. Message me here or email jasonmackcomedy at gmail.

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El Favorito (More like El FLAVORito)

It’s been awhile. Long story. I’ll spare you the details.

I got really, really sick, and really, really broke. Yes, at times I was “couldn’t blog” sick. And yes, at times I was “couldn’t buy tacos” broke.

I’LL SPARE YOU THE DETAILS

I hope you three (3) people will forgive me. I have an important duty to perform.

El Favorito Taqueria is pretty close to a solid 24 Hour Fitness and a megachurch. Do you like exercise and God? It doesn’t really matter. None of this matters.

There’s room for your whole church congregation. Does your church like taquerias? All the good ones do and some bad ones.

We’re gonna keep this pretty quick though.

It’s clean.

The service was great.

The chips and salsa were fresh and free.

I’m on the record as loving the green salsa with the avocado in it. I had a nice conversation with the lovely lady behind the counter about what exactly it is. She told me they just call it green salsa, and that it’s different from typical salsa verde, which is usually runnier and spicier. The internet doesn’t seem to agree with what to call this. Taqueria green salsa? Taqueria avocado salsa? Tomatillo salsa verde? Anyway, she told me the ingredients were:

Jalapeno

Bell pepper

Avocado

Cilantro

BUT most recipes I see include tomatillos. Sometimes roasted, sometimes not. Here is one such recipe. I’m going to try to make it with and without tomatillos and report back. We’re stepping up our game here.

I wasn’t expecting much from a chain-looking place, but the tacos were solid. Actually, best I’ve had in the area in awhile (non-Maya’s division). I had 2 each of carnitas, carne asada, and pollo asado. I still don’t know what any of those words mean.

The chicken was definitely the highlight. I’ve recently been a carnitas guy, but the chicken was perfectly marinated, tender and juicy. If I were to gripe, I’d say there wasn’t much kick to any of the meats (but the chicken was packed with smokey cumin and hints of citrus flavors, so it was not missed in that case). If you need spice, I don’t know, add some yourself? Salsa’s free, bro.

flavor explosion

Prices are solid everyday, but I highly recommend taking advantage of $1 taco Tuesday.

More posts to come. I got a better camera too so watch out for pictures that aren’t garbage. The public demands it!

——Scorecard - El Favorito Taqueria - Rosemont ——

¿Auténtico? Sure. ¿Alcohol? Beer. ¿Happy hour? Yes, and a great taco Tuesday. ¿Free Chips and Salsa? Yup! ¿Cactus growing outside? Nope :( ¿Clean-ish? Yup.

Address: 8887 Folsom Blvd Ste 5 Sacramento, CA 95826

Go here? Yes.

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Drive Thru Tacos? (Carolina’s)

If you’re like me, you have an automobile. And you’re also kinda lazy.

Carolina’s Mexican Restaurant is one of the most America-fied taquerias in the area. Meaning, there is a drive thru, the portions are huge, and they’ve never had a problem that couldn’t be fixed with salt and a microwave.

Bigger than your average super burrito. Ridiculously large portion sizes, and salt. Lots of salt.

Scorched styrofoam is a symptom of over-microwaving.

I decided to grill my burrito because 1) most of it was cold. MOST OF IT 2) the cheese wasn’t melty.

Toasting/grilling a burrito is such an easy task that improves the it so much that I’m blown away that everyone doesn’t do it. I mean, if Taco Bell can figure it out, you need to up your burrito game.

look at all dat meat tho

The chicken taco, yes just the regular chicken taco, is packed with meat and cheese. Like, too much cheese. It didn’t fit in the tacos. I’m not sure if they even know that that’s where it goes. and it’s way too salty don’t get it

I also got a carne asada “mini taco.” Let’s see what that looks like.

LOOK. AT. DEM. MEATS!

The “mini” taco was aight. Perfectly acceptable and definitely not “mini.”

Let’s see how my toasty burrito ended up.

That’s better.

(eating sounds)

OK, so, I know it looks delectable, but a couple things here. 1) It’s too big and poorly distributed to get all the ingredients in one bite and 2) you see that pork off to the side? That’s burnt/gristley/inedible. I don’t mean it was a little crispy, there were many bites that I couldn’t eat. Unsat.

I could probably count the number of burritos I’ve thrown out without finishing on one hand, if I could count. I ate about half of this and tossed it. It was a bad burrito.

But it sure was big.

i’d rather have a regular sized burrito that tasted good

To break down everything that got ate:

Carne asada mini taco: good.

Regular chicken tacos: meh (too salty, don’t order more than 1)

Carne asada fries: pretty damn good. Enough food to feed a football team for under $10.

Carnitas super burrito: don’t do it.

I ordered so much food because I was having a party. Yes, that’s it, a party.

look at. dat. MEAT.

Go here if:

You can’t get out of the car. Because you are naked.

You love salt.

You’re OK with liberal use of a microwave.

Don’t expect to be in and out of the drive thru in 3 minutes like Jack-In-The-Box; taqueria food doesn’t come together as fast as microwaving a burger patty, but they’re working on it.

Bottom line: The food wasn’t good. Will not return. unless i’m desparate ok i’ll probably return

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Carolina’s Mexican Food (Land Park/Oak Park) 3840 Franklin Blvd Sacramento, CA 95820

Phone: [phone] Website: http://www.carolinasfastfood.com/

Other locations:

Downtown Sac

Citrus Heights (Open 24 hours)

Roseville (Open 24 hours)

6653 Valley Hi Drive​, Sacramento (Open 24 hours)

Antelope

There is no beer.

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Life-Changing Burrito (Arden-Arcade)

Welcome back to Sac Taco Blog.

The internet says the name of this place is Restaurant Ay Caramba.

Not “Best Tacos” or “Mexican Food Mariscos.”

Not “Mariscos (Se Tacos Taqueria.”

Not “TACOS & $5.99 BEER.”

Restaurant Ay Caramba.

If you look at the menu, there are a couple other names... and, apparently, a special secret (not advertised, anyway) Peruvian menu... but it doesn’t matter.

This place is located on Auburn Blvd. by a bunch of car dealerships, washer/dryer outlets, and furniture stores. There is NO OTHER FOOD IN THIS IMMEDIATE AREA.

I discovered this place when I was car shopping at Maita Toyota. I couldn’t find another place within walking distance.

The inside looks like you just wandered into a Mexican family’s house. Which I normally wouldn’t recommend. But there’s food. Unimpressive, but charming interior.

I like it, and it’s clean, and really WE’RE HERE FOR DA FOODZ so it doesn’t matter much, does it?

Free, tasty chips and salsa.

I went with a Chorizo Super Burrito, because I was having a miserable week and I needed to be put in a food coma to get through the rest of it. YES.

Good size, tightly wrapped and lightly toasted bun. The undressing is part of the fun.

Look at that. Well-proportioned and distributed ingredients, and PERFECTLY cooked chorizo. If you’ve tried cooking chorizo, you know it’s easy to screw up and ruin democracy. This stuff is packed with flavor; spicy, smokey, and cooked right until it’s just about to char.

I didn’t want to put it down to take pictures.

The last few bites were getting greasy and drippy, because tortillas weren’t actually made to contain this much flavor.

If I was on death row, this would probably be my last meal.

For good measure, there’s a bail bonds joint a few feet across the parking lot. Do with that information what you will.

——Scorecard - Restaurant Ay Caramba - Arden-Arcade——

¿Auténtico? Si. ¿Alcohol? Beer. ¿Happy hour? No, but beer/taco specials. ¿Free Chips and Salsa? Yup! ¿Cactus growing outside? This ain’t their first rodeo. ¿Clean-ish? Si.

Come here if you:

Are on your way to/from Roseville or anywhere along I-80.

Are car shopping/getting your car serviced

Like Mexican or Peruvian food - ask for the Peruvian menu any day other than Sunday/Monday.

The verdict:

Must eat! 4/4! Two jalapenos up! Yums!

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Restaurant Ay Caramba 3032 Auburn Blvd Sacramento, CA(916) 550-2387

Open 10AM - 8PM Monday-Saturday.

Not open Sundays. No Peruvian menu on Mondays. (Call ahead to make sure this hasn’t changed if you want Peruvian.)

No website.

But they’re on Facebook!

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$1 Tacos? NO THANKS SATAN (Oak Park/Curtis Park)

There’s a $1 taco place not too far from my house. They have $1 tacos and occasionally I see some young college kids going in there and I think “Mmm tacos.”

Sometimes tacos cost a dollar to get people in the place and start building a customer base by turning them into regular customers who will spend more money in the future.

Sometimes tacos cost a dollar because they are horseshit.

Taqueria Espinoza’s décor is reminiscent of allowing your dying Columbian grandmother to decorate a preschool. She painted the “signs” too.

I’ve never had this thought before, but it’s tacky as shit.

Tacos only cost a dollar tho.

How are they? Meh. Pretty flavorless. There’s this orange goupey sauce that they’re drenched in that somehow tastes like nothing. It’s actually a modern culinary marvel that they’ve managed to create such a flavorless substance. I sent it to the lab at Quantico for more information. They told me that all human genetic material on Earth has 4 nucleotides. Two base pairs. This sauce has 6. Three base pairs. The sauce at Taqueria Espinoza is, by definition, extaterrestrial.

But for realsies, this is what I imagine the tacos are like in Hell. They don’t give you diarrhea, but every bite is almost good, and you never feel the joy of real flavor. For eternity.

Espinoza is an unpopular taqueria in a bad neighborhood with flavorless meats. The internet says it’s in Curtis Park, but when you look at it you know this is a Oak Park joint. That’s what everyone says when they’re on the border and they want customers to think they aren’t going to get shot.

I had a lot of negative opinions, but this place isn’t AWFUL. it just isn’t worth driving 3 minutes to and spending a dollar

The reviews on the rest of the internet are pretty good. But after sampling 3 garbage meats, I can’t imagine anything being better than mediocre.

Fun fact: Taqueria Espinoza literally translates to “taco place made of nose material.”

Eat Here If:

You have a dollar and you need cheap calories because you’re getting over a serious illness and you haven’t been able to keep anything down for the last 6 days.

nm get some soup

Taqueria Espinoza 2805 12th Ave Sacramento, CA 95818 Open 11-9 everyday. No website. They serve beer and wine, and there is no happy hour. Go somewhere else.

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Taqueria El Compadre (Modesto)

Sorry for the off-topic post, but my travels have taken me to some pretty exciting places lately.

I’ve got a back log and it’s all queued up and ready to go. You’ll get 4 posts in the next 2-3 days, and I hope you like it.

Coming up: Sacramento Taco Festival, a dinky $1 taco place that I don’t recommend, and a cool hole-in-the-wall that changed my life, for a few minutes anyway.

First off, I had a show in Modesto the other night, and I needed some pre-show grub to get me through 90-minutes of dick jokes and whatnot.

I couldn’t get across the town to the place I wanted to try, because Modesto has an American Graffiti Street Festival. If you thought Modesto was a sad place because of all the unemployment, murders and cancer-causing poor air quality, THEY HAVE A FESTIVAL TO CELEBRATE THEIR ONLY CLAIM TO FAME: AN UN-RELEVANT MOVIE FROM 1973.

Activities include: yelling at young women from your car, underage drinking. So, typical night in Modesto.

I spent 30 minutes trying to drive around the street closures, to no avail, before giving up and accidentally pulling into a parking lot for a sandwich or whatever I could find.

Clean interior, standard fare, I spent a little over 8 bucks which I thought would get me a house in Modesto but it got me a carne asada super burrito.

I would have gladly settled for “so-so” burrito, but this thing was packed with perfectly seasoned carne asada, even distribution of ingredients and a lightly toasted tortilla.

I didn’t taste the guac, but I didn’t really miss it, and I added some of their salsa bar salsamole to wetten it up.

This burrito was a 10/10. Would bang.

The rest of the place:

Salsamole was fresh, medium-heavy on the avocado, with a strong flavor of cliantro and chunks of tomato throughout.

Interior was clean, to the right of the camera shot were the customers, there was a nice compliment of people here but it wasn’t packed.

They have beer.

One last look at the last couple bites. Juicy and messy, just like God commanded.

Come here if you:

Are in Modesto.

The verdict:

Do it.

Deets:

Taqueria El Compadre (Note: Also goes by Taqueria Los Compadres. The sign is clearly in the singular.)

813 W Roseburg Ave, Modesto, CA 95350

No website.

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Midtown Taqueria (of East Sac)

Holy mierda it’s been awhile. I’ve been busy shoplifting. Liftin’ shops.

Midtown Taqueria is technically in East Sacramento. Kinda like the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, they saw the benefit of branding themselves to filthy hipsters and gentrifiers of Mid-Central-Eastern-Sacramento (MCES).

First off, always a no-no, there’s a fucking salsa limit. But it’s modestly posted, and maybe there’s a good reason....

You see, it’s modest. It’s not a whore about it. #salsashaming

Is this a good enough reason? Sometimes the green salsa is a watery mess of weak chilis, cilantro and lime. Sometimes it has some avocado. That’s what I like. Avocado.

This shit is thick. With avocado. It’s pretty much guacamole. Free guacamole? Chipotle charges 6 dollars an ounce for guac. Midtown Taq got free guac.

There’s no happy hour, so I went with 3 regular tacos, 1 each of carne asada, carnitas and whatever the word for chicken is. Regular tacos are $1.84, and super tacos are almost $4, so it was an easy call.

I also got a Dos Equis Amber on draft for $4. Total came out to $10.84. I’d rather pay less at 3pm on a Monday, but I’ll live. I’LL LIVE.

My tacos were pretty easy to review. All 3 meats were a little on the done side, not really tender but plenty of taco flavor. All good, none great. The carne asada was a little heavy on the lime and spicier than most basic tacos, and not in a bad way. Carnitas was definitely a little dry. The chicken was probably my favorite of the 3, with a flavor that seemed a little heavy on the smoky reddish brown Mexican seasonings.

Pro tip: If you like avocado, dip your tacos in that guacamole sauce. Definitely moistened and freshened it up.

FUN FACT: AVOCADO’S ARE HIGH-FIBER SOURCES OF HEART-HEALTHY MONOUNSATURATED FACT. ALSO, MOSOQUITO EATERS DON’T EAT MOSQUITOS THEY DON’T EAT ANYTHING DURING THE ADULT PHASE OF THE THEIR LIVES THEY JUST FUCK AND DIE

Cool points: there is parking, and a cool tiki-style overhang patio situation. It was a perfect day but I didn’t sit outside on the super sweet patio because I am an idiot.

—Scorecard - Midtown Taqueria - East Sac—

¿Auténtico? Meh, it’s aight. ¿Alcohol? Beers and chelada things. No liquor. ¿Happy hour? Nope. ¿Free Chips and Salsa? Yes, bagged chips but the guac sauce is good! ¿Cactus growing outside? Nah. ¿Owner is member of the Nazi Party? I mean, if the owner of Santos Laguna was Hitler, this guy is more like Mussolini with free health care. ¿Clean-ish? Si.

Come here if you:

Stuck around the so-so bars of East Sac and need a snack. And you like your meats on the done side.

The verdict:

It’s aight. Don’t go out of your way. Patio is awesome.

More pics:

i heart tacos

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Pancho’s Cocina Mexicana & Grill (Broadway)

Another day. Another joint on Broadway. Another Land Park/Curtis Park/Midtown triangle jaunt. Another taqueria.

Fun fact: my back yard has a cactus wall. Not a joke. Very serious and dangerous.

These are also edible. I’m not sure exactly how. Maybe you toss them on the griddle like pancakes. Mmm.

Pancho’s also has a cactus wall. Cacti outside a taqueria is always a good sign.

So, how about the eats?

Free chips and salsa fresh out of the oven. Or they keep them warm under a heat lamp, but they were in an oven before that. Probably.

The salsa can be pretty spicy. The only solution is to keep eating salsa.

I had the thought recently that you can gauge how good a taqueria is by how many Latino people are eating there. Makes sense right? Then I went to some pretty shitty taquerias that were full of brown people, and I had to rethink this. I remembered that white people eat at McDonald’s.

Pancho’s is frequented by middle-aged Mexicans and bearded white hippies who get there on their bikes. I think we’re onto something here.

I went with a carne asada street taco and a carnitas super burrito. I’m not a glutton, I need to sample more than one thing if I’m going to suggest it. Let’s go with that.

Taco: pretty standard $1.50 street taco. A little dry, but not necessarily in a bad way. It’s not wet. For $1.50 I’d have a few of these if Maya’s wasn’t right down the street.

Burrito: I don’t know why they put the lettuce on the side. Who are they trying to impress?

Fresh, flavorful, not over-seasoned. This is a good, simple burrito. The carnitas was perfectly cooked. And look, they grilled it a bit! Why don’t more people do this?

Cons: Could be wrapped a bit tighter, sour cream and guac could be more evenly distributed. But I mean, if your main complaint is “this burrito is a little loose in my paws,” go F yourself.

I love when a burrito can stand on its own.

On second thought, the looseness ended up being an issue. NBD.

Good looking joint, and that’s a full bar right there. To answer the “Why wouldn’t you just go to Maya’s?” question: Maya’s doesn’t have real liquor.

A couple other cool points:

Ice cold beer in ice cold frosty mugs. Lots of taquerias serve lukewarm beer in room temperature mugs, so this matters.

This is more of a casual sit-down joint than a taqueria, and the service is really good. They’ll refill your chips and salsa before your mouth is done burning.

—Scorecard - Pancho’s - Curtis Park/Land Park—

¿Auténtico? Why is this a question? Come on. ¿Alcohol? Full bar. ¿Happy hour? $1.50 street tacos. That makes me happy enough. ¿Free Chips and Salsa? Fresh and delicious! ¿Cactus growing outside? Hells yeah! ¿Owner is member of the Nazi Party? Hells nah! ¿Clean-ish? Si.

Come here if you:

Go to City College, McGeorge, or live in/near Midtown.

The verdict:

Come here!

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Pancho’s Cocina Mexicana & Grill  2026 Broadway Sacramento, California 95818 [phone]

Monday-Thursday 9:00 am- 9:00 pm Friday- Sunday 9:00 am-10:00 pm

http://www.panchoscocina.com/

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Toledo's Mexican Market

Some of my favorite taquerias are inside tiny little Mexican markets.

At Toledo’s, you can get your leche and pan de molde and whatever is Spanish for eggs; you can buy a MF CAKE (!); you can send money to Mexico, because you pretty much are anyway; or you can munch on some great tacos and burritos.

Look at those signs. This place is like... 7 places.

Yes there’s Mexican ice creams in there.

Service is fast and friendly, even if it can get a bit crowded, and prices are awesome. My carne asada super burrito set me back $6.04 USD. It’s packed with flavor and naturally a bit spicier than most stock burritos due to some unidentified crunchy peppers. I asked what they were but the answer was in Spanish.

Look at that beauty. Good distribution of ingredients. Melty cheese. Not too much sour cream or rice. Super flavorful carne asada and a flakey tortilla. This is why we’re here, folks. THIS IS WHY WE’RE HERE.

There’s no alcohol, technically, but they probably wouldn’t complain if you bought a 6-pack of Tecate and got the party started right there. They’re too busy making those awesome eats to patrol the grounds anyway.

——Scorecard - Toledo’s Mexican Market - Arden/Arcade——

¿Auténtico? They don’t even speak English. So hells yeah. ¿Alcohol? Beer in the market... which is in the taqueria.... ¿Happy hour? I don’t think so. ¿Free Chips and Salsa? Yes, sometimes you have to ask. ¿Cactus growing outside? Nope. ¿Owner is member of the Nazi Party? No. ¿Clean-ish? Si.

Come here if you:

Want a post-workout snack.

Want a pre-workout snack.

Don’t workout.

Like freedom.

The verdict:

If you like Mexican food you needa do it.

(Did I mention there’s cake?)

Toledo’s Mexican Market 1341 Fulton Ave (Arden-Arcade) Sacramento, CA  95825

http://www.toledosmarket.net/

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Island Tacos

We’ve fallen behind a bit here at The Sacramento Taco Blog™. The people are angry. Corporate won’t get off my back. But, troof be told, I’ve been really busy:

Doing comedy

Raising my puppy

Eating tacos

Writing about tacos

So I’ve got a bit of a taqueria backlog built up, and you’ll see the pace pick up from here on out.

Today’s joint isn’t the greatest eats in the world, but I really admire what they’re doing. Because I like tacos and it’s F’n hot in there.

I mean, seriously, how can you see an adorable little place like this and not pull over for a taco or three?

That’s just what I did. Came across this little place coming down Folsom, or as I’m going to start calling it, Mediocre Taqueria Row. It’s right be Three Sisters, which I have not tried yet, so no spoilers please.

Inside, the place has the feel of a little kitchen nook in a trailer at a temporary construction site.

Tacos are $1.60. Simple menu. Not a lot of flare here. They make the basics, and they get you on your way.

And, seriously, it was hot as balls hotter than balls in there. They have 4 fans in the joint. It wasn’t even a particularly hot May day; but inside it was easily 622 degrees (Fahrenheit, I think, I always mix them up). Lotta respect for the team here. 

I had un carnitas, un asada, un chickeno, I did not eat the plastic fork. All decent; the chicken was a little spicy and maybe over seasoned, the carne asada was a little dry, and the carnitas was the best of the three. I did not regret eating any of them, and it only put me out 5 bux.

They got a quick little picnic area where everything is clean and nicely covered, help yourself, and get out of there. I got some green salsa, which had some tang and some kick to it.

There’s no inside seating - there’s barely inside standing - but they dinky little patio area is actually better than it looks. It’s shaded and doesn’t feel like you’re literally sandwiched between a parking lot and a busy city intersection with maybe 20 feet of leg room, total.

And the best news?

Right across the parking lot from Incredible Pets. Buy some lizards or something.

No scorecard today; I’m just gonna tell you that it’s worth a stop if you need a quick bite, and yes, they have cacti and flowers growing in little planter boxes outside. Get into it!

Island Tacos (East Sacramento) 5088 Folsom Blvd Sacramento, CA 95826

No alcohol, no website, it is what it is.

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Taqueria Maya’s

We’re a little out of order, but after the first review I went to another place that sucked and I felt like I needed to put out something positive first. I’ve got 3 reviews in the can - stay tuned mofos and taco aficionados!

Taqueria Maya’s is positive. It may restore your faith in humanity. It did for me anyway.

A few months ago, you could barely tell what this place was from certain angles on Broadway. They updated their signage so you know there be tacos! Here’s a picture of the outside from their website. (The rest are mine. I’ll be getting a new camera for this soon.)

I live in Oak Park, about a mile from this joint. The happy hour sign lured me in, as they often do, and it’s a pretty solid one: Mondays through Thursdays, 3-6pm, $1 tacos and $1.99 draft pints. GOD BLESS AMERICA!

The menu is pretty robust. I’ve heard good things about their enchiladas and tamales, but I’ve been here 8-ish times now and I’ve only had tacos. The tacos are very good and they cost $1 if you’re there on time. Normally $1.75, which isn’t bad at all. They’re small but packed with meat, and topped with very flavorful salsa that may heat you up a little but won’t overwhelm your senses. Yes, even if you are white.

The chicken could use some seasoning for my senses, but the carnitas has been solid and the carne asada tacos are to die for. I am dead.

Chips and salsa are free and good.

This has become my go-to place for cheap tacos and (sometimes) beer. For what it’s worth, the cooks have a boom box in the kitchen and they listen to Mexican music while they cook, just like Martha Stewart intended.

They give you a big sliced pepper. I thought since it was grilled, maybe it would be palatable for my white mouth, but I bit into it and boy was my face red!

It was brought to my attention that those are “radishes,” which cleared things up for me. I was wondering what was wrong with their apples.

——Scorecard - Taqueria Maya’s - Oak Park/Curtis Park——

¿Auténtico? Si. ¿Alcohol? Si. Bottled beer, draft beer, some fufu fake cocktails. ¿Happy hour? Si, a good one. ¿Free Chips and Salsa? Self serve! ¿Cactus growing outside? Of course they do. ¿Owner is member of the Nazi Party? Not that I’m aware of. ¿Clean-ish? Si.

Come here if you:

Are near Oak Park, Curtis Park, Downtown or Midtown, especially during happy hour.

Go to the Pacific McGeorge School of Law, which is within stumbling distance.

Like tacos.

The verdict:

Come here!

——

Taqueria Maya’s 2700 Broadway, Sacramento, CA 95818 http://www.taqueriamayas.com/

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Off to a rough start: Review of Taqueria Santos Laguna

A couple times a week, driving down Folsom on my way out of eastern Sacramento, I’ve been noticing a solid number of taquerias in the ‘hood. This sign in particular caught my eye:

Seems very Mexican Food: There’s a Fútbol... ball... a crown in honor of the King, and it even SAYS “Mexican Food.”

And, also... wait a minute.... 

Does that say $1 TACO TUESDAY?

My God it does.

Tuesday really doesn't have a lot going for it. It’s not the beginning or end of the week, so it doesn’t get to play hero or villain. It’s not Wednesday, where by lunch you know the worst is over. It isn’t even Thirsty Thursday, when you become pretty burnt out and confident that you can get toasted and put it on cruise control for the rest of the week.

A few lucky times a year a holiday gets you out of Monday, or you call in sick because you just can’t, but then Tuesday is still there. Looming. Tapping the desk disapprovingly. Telling you about a Game of Thrones book that spoils the end of the season you’re binge-watching. Mouth-breathing.

No one has ever said, “Thank God it’s Tuesday.”

Unless you get $1 tacos.

So I was pretty stoked when I was free on a Taco Tuesday afternoon.

The place looks fine. It’s clean enough, the decor and tables are taqueria-y, and there’s a pretty cool outside patio. If you’ve never had tacos and beer outside, it’s pretty great, just how Martha Stewart intended when she invented them.

Then there’s this.

The one to the left says “Please Don’t Waste the Salsa / Max 3 Salsa for each order.” 

3 Salsa per order? Not per person, per order. It’s also written on one of the white boards for good measure.What? If I order 6 tacos, what am I going to put on the last couple tacos, fascism?

It gets worse.

The salsa bar has 2 “3 Salsa” signs, in case a fellow taco connoisseur is blocking your view of one of them. You ever been at a place where you just knew the owner was a dickbiscuit? I counted 7 of these signs. 7 of these signs were conceived, printed and laminated.

Also signs:

Chips and salsa $2.50

Chips $1

Bathroom for customer only

Taco Tuesday Minimum 3 tacos per customer

No soup for you

All signs point to this place being run by a total douchenozzle.

Also also, because we need more rules:

That’s pretty standard, but added to the rest it really grills my kippers.

Anyway, I ordered 5 tacos and a giant Mexican Coke (they didn’t have Columbian). Came out to a little under 8 bucks. Cool.

As I snapped a couple pics and gathered my Max Salsa, I took a glance at the guy cooking my tacos... watched him put them on the plate... and then watched as he put my order ticket on top of my tacos. You know the piece of paper that has been handled by at least 3 people, including one who has been handling dirty college kids’ money? That’s on my fucking tacos. Blegh.

The guy who handed me my plate was also kinda assholish. I don’t wanna judge people on one tiny-barely-interaction, but most of the employees here seemed pretty unhappy, probably because they make minimum wage and the owner is a chode 

They have a fancy website; check out their picture of the tacos (top) compared to mine (bottom):

First off, my plate isn’t even white. I mean, COME ON, RIGHT?

I’m zoomed in quite a bit, so you need to know that the tacos were small. No big deal, for a buck, I expect small tacos. But they weren’t good. When you’re a taqueria, if you can’t make some good tacos, time to rethink your life.

The first one had nearly no meat, but the tortilla was grilled, which was a nice touch. I think the rest of the tortillas were supposed to have a similar tasty grilled crunch to them too, but they didn’t. These were very pedestrian tacos. They should cost $1. All week.

The salsa was watery and without flavor. The pico de gallo looked like Saturday’s pico de gallo. Overall, everything gave me the impression that the owner of Santos Laguna was a tightwad who didn’t care about flavor and experience as much as scraping a couple extra pennies out of broke college students.

----Scorecard - Taqueria Santos Laguna - East Sacramento----

¿Auténtico? Si. ¿Alcohol? Si. Bottled beer plus Margaritas - but I don’t think they have liquor. So.... ¿Happy hour? No. But $1 tacos all day Tuesday. ¿Free Chips and Salsa? Hell naw. ¿Cactus growing outside? No. ¿Owner is member of the Nazi Party? Si. ¿Clean-ish? Si. Other than the gross order ticket thing I guess.

Come here if you:

Go to Sac State, I guess

Are broke and stranded at this exact address on a Tuesday

Like fascism

The verdict:

Don’t come here.

----

Taqueria Santos Laguna 6727 Folsom Blvd, Sacramento, CA 95819 http://www.taqueriasantoslaguna.com/

[sactacoblog]

Welcome! First Post!

Sup.

Welcome to the blog!

I’m Jason Mack, a comedian and guy who eats a lot of tacos and burritos.

I’m no Mexican food/culture expert, in fact I’m incredibly white, and if that matters to you WHY ARE YOU READING BLOGS?

Read this blog if you:

Like tacos

Like jokes

Like Tumblrs

Enjoy.