Why Are We Still Here @sadguywhowantstogo - Tumblr Blog

I’m starting classes again, I don’t know how to feel about any of it. I’ll be stuck in the body I don’t like for another year, using the name I don’t want. I probably can’t go to my professors and say something if I’m too cowardly to speak to my peers.

Maybe a part of me still feels like he’s lying. I’m so fucking scared of being a guy sometimes.

I’m really tired, I haven’t been sleeping well recently

I really want to finish my degree asap so I can move away so I’ll never have to see the inside of a church again!

bff0f7

so can we start hunting down white liberals now or what

adamtheredbeard

The full picture is even more heart breaking after you open the uncropped version. Just a heads-up, it's rough

“The Roman Catholic Parish in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan was just grafitted.”

afronerdism

Nah let’s post it. Let’s feel it. Don’t look away.

doobiebenson

butch-bakugo

I notice alot of my followers on here skipping these posts just to mess with my lgbt ones, suspiciously the white popular ones.

Heres a not so friendly reminder, as an lgbt metis person, i dont give a single fuck what your blog is themed or if this is too painful for you to look at. Reblog this post. Reblog this post with the sources of the 751 children who were found.

Your compliance and silence as well as the compliance and silence of your ancestors is what allowed these schools to open and kill first nations children. The children of MY people.

Dont follow me if you cant reblog this post or the one with sources to your political blog or your most popular blog. Add trigger warnings if you must but if your political blog is only focused on the harms you personally face like being lgbt then you need to see some bigger pictures and stop being afraid of angering your racist mutural or actually saying some shit about racism. If you can reblog some antifa graphics or add blm to your bio to be a surface level ally, you can reblog some sources on the genocide first nations people faced and still face today.

They were CHILDREN.

They were murdered in cold blood.

churchoftheconfusedchicken

I’d like to add this photo I took last night in Victoria of the statue of Captain Cook. Though I myself am not indigenous, I 100% agree that these murderers, kidnappers and rapists shouldn’t have huge statues and plaques that decorate them and say how “great” they were.

Here’s another photo of the legislative assembly from yesterday. Later on there were more items, candles and signs at the memorial, as well as a big poster with 1505 painted on it but I didn’t get a picture

People need to see this. Not just quickly glance at the photos and keep on scrolling. They need to see this.

Reblog this or just stop following me

ifiknewiwouldtellyou

I had seen the first picture of the church, but not the second.

I went to a “Cancel Canada Day” event and burst into tears - not because I was surprised to learn of the unmarked graves (survivors told us they were there. Our government pushed it aside, and we let them), but because seeing all the people gathered in mourning drove it home: They. Were. Children.

This is my country’s legacy - and it’s not history. The last schools closed during my lifetime. My Father went to school with students who lived at the local residential school, after it was changed to a boarding house (read: holding centre) for indigenous youth who went to local schools.

They were all children, injured, abused, and killed in my country’s attempt to erase them. I want the world to see this and hold the state accountable to *active* reconciliation> I mean we could at least truly adopt UNDRIP in action instead of words for god’s sake.

gayvampyr

here you can read an article about a survivor of the church and some of the things he experienced to help put into perspective how awful and just how recent it was

nothingweirdhere

this is the memorial at the vancouver art gallery. 215+ pairs of children’s shoes (as well as stuffed toys and flowers) cover the steps…

I want real friends someday

I don’t want to be the one that is there just because they need another person

I want to be valued by another person

I’ve removed all info about being a guy from the socials that are connected to irl stuff, I’m just going to hide it again I guess

I’ll just let people assume I’m a woman because I pass so poorly

I’m going to keep being a guy here though, it feels good to have an outlet for the thoughts that I have and I think I’ll have an easier time coping

I fear being put on a shelf by my “friends” and “acquaintances” because of my identity so they can go “look how good I am! Im being an ally!” just for looks. I already had someone make a big show of using my preferred pronouns and then call me ma’am in the same breath. Im tired and I don’t want to be someone’s trophy trans “friend”.

The good thing of today is that I’m trying to paint again! I’m happy about that

I kind of want to run away from where I live currently and just pick up painting, and farm vegetables

This might turn into a vent blog since I have no one to turn to about this stuff irl, oops

First Post in Years (and it’s a vent)

I think I want to start again with tumblr. I left for a long time during a time of deep self hatred. I don’t think I’ve progressed at all personally and I’m nearly permanently online these days.

I need to re-learn tumblr etiquette and all that stuff now. Sometimes I went and deleted a bunch of my old posts out of pure anger with my current self and that’s wrong I think. I should have embraced the weird, kind of edgy kid I was back then who always felt empty and never connected with others. I really wish someone held me, and I mean genuinely held me. I also wish someone genuinely understood me. I still feel like that. I don’t think I’ve ever had a relationship that felt real on my end. I just smile and nod and say what people want to hear. Even when people push to see what the “real me” is I just go along with whatever until they are satisfied. I’m pretty empty all things considered. I feel pretty starved of physical affection and emotional connection all the time. Sometimes I find myself staring at discord all day waiting for people to answer my dms or respond to messages in servers. I really don’t have a life.

I just want someone to hug me, and I mean really hold me. I would probably cry.

I have to thank tumblr for the good it gave me as well, it showed me so many things I would have never known outside of my traditional catholic family. In a way it prevented me from learning my parents hatred by showing me there’s no logic to their bigotry. It also encouraged me to look into my own identity. I’m now aro/ace and trans. I hope to explore identity more online since I always had to repress it to make others comfortable and keep myself safe. I also tried to come out as trans once and no one believed me. That was a weird experience. I’ll just say I’m not looking forward to seeing those people again when I return to university!

I don’t expect anyone to see this, but I just wanted to get my feelings out there.

#vent post #tw vent