yue

diary of a sadist yan who only has 1st world problems

[sadivor]

INTRO ₊˚⊹ ♡

hi, im yue. or alternatively, yuyu. this is my online diary!! kinda. im just gonna talk and stuff, if you want to be friends thats cool too but i don't post for clout really. im open to asks and anons

chinese / pansexual / they she prns / gender apathetic / 6teen / 09 enfp sx/so783 elfv [IEE] sang-chol

i have low/impaired empathy if that bothers you. i don't have a specific dni because i block freely. however, unless we're super close, don't use degrading terms on me like slut whore etc. sadist yan but no darling i like dolls, fashion and whatsaheart. i dabble in a lot of communities. such as hoyo games (as much as a disagree with the company), rev1999, class of '09, ddlc, Z.A.T.O, manosaba, and some other visual novels. i enjoy a lot of medias. e.g madoka magica, kitakawa, diaalmih, alnst, milgram, pjsk. i like mlp, specifically rainbow dash. and as for ships i love esmuu & mafuena

@sadivorpng for worse incoherent stuff

[sadivor]

and when i’m done with him

i’m all on you

— whatsaheart

[sadivor]

i should honestly become an anon but i have a feeling i’d start becoming competitive and trying to outdo other anons . if there’s a word count limit i’ll reach it trust me

[sadivor]

question for yanblr, do you ever worry that you’re in love with a version of your darling that doesn’t actually exist?

as in, you’re blindsided by obsession to the point you’ve idealised them so much that the person you love isn’t how you imagine them at all.

that maybe the version you’re in love with is just a reflection of everything you want to see in them? and that if you discover more about what they’re actually like, they’ll become less interesting

[sadivor]

tell me that it’s okay to be selfish, tell me that i love you. tell me that you can differentiate between my truths, lies and the mess in between. i want to know that tomorrow won’t be the same as yesterday, that this stage has an end, that even in defilement love conquers all that is superficial.

[sadivor]

darling, don’t you know you’re still as beautiful as the day i set eyes on you? whether composed of ink, paint or flesh the result is the same— i can’t take my eyes off of you.

every stroke, every scar burned into my memory like a never ending roll of film. i’ll rewatch it one hundred, if not one thousand times because i know you’ll bring me the same happiness each time. you are the most unforgettable painting, and the loveliest poem.

[sadivor]

/moodboard

things that are very me

coldcore breakcore bass-boosted nightcore songs airi sezaki medical gloves samsung flip phones whatsaheart flowers school classroom desks bp audios needles judydoll

[sadivor]

this fucking clown tried to buy a £20 Xbox gift card off of my amazon account

[sadivor]

its 2026 i dont put up with NO bs anymore

[sadivor]

the amount of lohen merch i will get when i go to china will be enough to single handedly boost their economic income to no 1 in the whole of asia

[sadivor]

my long hair is back i truly couldnt be happier i look gorgeous again

[sadivor]

i hate the part of me that’s still looking for her attention— i don’t like her, i don’t even want to look at her but the fact remains that i once did and it disgusts me. whether i like it or not she’s proof i have (or at least had) the capacity to love someone and i’m practically ripping my hair out trying to prove i can do it again

[anistarrose]

my only religious belief is that there is no afterlife except for the ublock origin team who are going to heaven and the youtube anti-adblock team who are going to hell

[sadivor]

feeding them out of the palm of your hand, whether it’s candy or actual food . . . daresay while affectionately scratching behind their ears and ruffling their hair

[sadivor]

look at my FIRE new gfx covers omg i truly am a genius

[instillmalice]

someone that thinks abuse is better than being ignored so when I'm busy they beg me to hit them #needthat

[sadivor]

persuing somebody with the idea that it will end in mutual obession is really... i don't know how to put it? there's not an off switch for my love, so being liked back or not doesn't make a difference at all