:(

[sadness-speaks]

Hoping it gets better but knowing damn well nothing is gonna change; self destruction at its finest when you settle for less but knowing the treatment you deserve is around the corner if you play the moves right.

I deserve more. I didn’t sign up to be treated like this.

[sadness-speaks]

I’ve never been more unhappy. The smile will get me through it I guess

[sadness-speaks]

I’ll never understand why I won’t let myself give up.

[sadness-speaks]

It’s said that every 7 years, your entire bodies skin and cells are basically renewed.

I’ll be entirely clean from you next year.

[sadness-speaks]

Everyone told me the drugs didn’t love me.

Why is it every time I did them, it made me feel the most self love I’ve ever felt.

I don’t like being clean.

[sadness-speaks]

She always made everyone feel like home;

If only she felt that with herself

[sadness-speaks]

Drugs are the only thing that I find comfort in.

[sadness-speaks]

Why am I so scared to make myself happy?

[sadness-speaks]

I miss how it used to be

Don’t know why I still think about how we were free

The drugs got to you and now we don’t talk.

Can’t even believe you can even walk.

Can’t believe you’re not in a grave

Thinking about the way we used to misbehave

Goin to parties and drivin all night

Don’t even know why you didn’t fight

The feeling of not wantin to survive.

I remember when we’d eat junk food on a blanket at the park, laughing at what we did in the dark.

I didn’t realize that when we took time apart,

That you felt like you needed to restart.

I’m sorry you felt like I left you when you needed me most,

But I just didn’t want to follow you on the road you chose.

And now I’m here worrying with your folks,

About if you’ll make it to the next day after some dope tokes.

[sadness-speaks]

What if we don’t get better but we get better at accepting how sad we actually are

[sadness-speaks]

I did the drugs with you. And they ended up swallowing you whole in the end. I miss you, friend.

[sadness-speaks]

It’s time like these I want to just restart and reincarnate

[sadness-speaks]

Why do I fucking put myself through this

[sadness-speaks]

Time seems to fly by when you wanna kill yourself

[sadness-speaks]

It’s better off if I do it

[sadness-speaks]

I’m too tired to feel anymore

[sadness-speaks]

What you did wasn’t love, it was abuse.