Advice for flirting with someone cute and pathetically vulnerable: ask yourself what your worst abuser could say to you to upset you in that moment. Then just say that.
fairies, with their small bodies and, of course, their fragile, delicate wings, naturally eat a specific diet to keep in shape! after all, your wings may not be able to lift you off the ground if you weigh even a gram too heavy, which is why all fairies must eat in accordance to the rules below! good luck, my lovelies🌷
divider by @/bronzewasp
rules:
- a fairy eats only light, natural foods that never fills them up too much too quickly! processed or greasy foods are messy and gross, and all foods must be eaten with small, clean bites.
- some options are foods like fruits, greens, oats, nuts, anything a fairy can get their hands on whilst exploring their grove!
- all fairies eat a maximum of 500 calories a day, and even that's pushing it - any more, and you risk damaging your wings and not being able to fly.
- fairies can eat multiple, small meals a day (five 100 calories meals, ten 50 calorie meals, it's up to you!), and they never eat until uncomfortable fullness.
- of course, what is a fairy without a daily small sweet treat? after a long day, feel free to come home and have a few bites of dessert to go with your dinner!
- fairies must drink a lot of water to keep hydrated and energized - make sure you're drinking at least 2 liters / 8 cups of water a day !
thank you @starving-m0th for finding this for me 🥹
vampires, with their pale skin, sunken eyes, and slender, bony fingers, don't need as much food as humans do. since they're weakened by the sun, they only eat (or, technically, drink) during the dark of night, in small, filling portions. surviving on only blood, their caloric intake is much less than the average human.
rules:
- since vampires can survive on only blood, eat a maximum of 700cal (approx. calories in 1 liter of blood) a day.
**PSA: don't drink real blood i beg
- eat lots of red foods, especially fruits. things like pomegranates, plums, apples, strawberries, are all wonderful fruits for this diet!
- drink some red drinks too. cranberry juice, tomato juice, and grape juice (i know it's purple) are great!
- try to avoid foods high in sugar, and, of course, foods containing garlic.
- make sure you are meeting your protein goal aswell. each meal should incorporate at least a few of your main food groups.
- don't bodycheck too often. vampires don't see their reflection.
- just as the intro says, only eat full meals during night time.
- you can eat a little during the daytime, just make sure the foods you eat are healthy and nutritious.
- eat elegantly and cleanly. don't get food on your face and don't leave crumbs behind.
- vampires can sleep for centuries at a time, so make sure you are getting at least 8 hours of sleep a day.
- like always, stay hydrated. drink at least 8 cups/2 liters of water a day.
I’d like to do a PSA about laxatives: do not abuse them, I am being so fucking serious. When I was 21 and barely eating and abusing laxatives I ended up 1) having a stroke, yes, a literal stroke 2) my digestive system stopped working completely 3) I didn’t 💩 FOR THREE ENTIRE MONTHS. Yes. 3 fucking months
I almost needed emergency surgery and my bowels and stomach have never worked the same since. I’m in constant agony with stomach cramps and distress and I can only eat certain things (this on top of the fuckin stomach disease I already had)
DO NOT ABUSE LAXATIVES! You will regret it later when your digestive tract stalls and you live a medical nightmare for the rest of your life
Eat in a calorie deficit and exercise, please be so wary of laxatives. I’m so serious guys, I never want anyone to end up like I did it was terrifying and so so so painful
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