the statue

saffi jackson || 21

[saffijackson]

harryzhangs​:

The tension in Harry’s body started to dissipate as she noticed Saffi relax, indicating that thankfully, Harry had been convincing. She didn’t entirely trust Saffi, but now it seemed like she’d have to. And that was still the best-case scenario. To their credit, they didn’t seem the type to go against their word to someone– and they were right, if they turned Harry in, there’d surely be questions for Saffi as well now. Harry wondered, absently, if Saffi’s concern meant she had more to hide. But that was a question to ponder some other time.

“I’ll just throw it out. Leave it in the bag so it doesn’t catch anyone’s eye. That’s what I meant to do in the first place, I just never got around to it.” Harry replied quickly. She didn’t offer an explanation as to why she hadn’t just done that before, mostly because Harry wasn’t entirely sure of the reason herself– was she in denial over how much trouble she’d be in if this actually got out? Compared to the other crime that had been committed that night, this felt like nothing… but still, it was serious destruction of private property. Could be deserving of jail time. Not exactly something to fuck around with.

“To be clear,” Harry pried gently, lowering her voice so reduce the risk of being overheard through the Castle’s paper-thin walls. “Does that mean you won’t tell anyone about this?”

.

Saffi nodded along to the plan, trying not to be nervous over how simple it all seemed. Just get rid of it, no one will know. Not like she didn’t know anything about that, she’d played her part in this whole thing. She’d chosen to just walk away, hoping that no one would know. “Yeah, okay,” she replied, keeping her voice tone neutral. She didn’t want to seem nervous.

Saffi stared at her for a quiet moment when Harry asked if she’d tell anyone. Internally, she debated her choices. She was right when she’d commented earlier about her fingerprints, and she really did not want to deal with questioning more than she absolutely had to. On the other hand, a little leverage might be good. Over anyone, she didn’t really care. As long as it deflected away from her.

Ultimately, she sighed and nodded. “Sure, sure. I won’t tell anyone.” And then, because they knew they sounded exasperated and wanted to be clear, “I swear, I won’t tell anyone.” They repeated it more clearly this time, more honestly. 

[saffijackson]

ingenue, supporting role, understudy

THE INGÉNUE: what’s something you wish would happen, but know won’t?

“That in some whirlwind miracle, I get the lead role in the final play and I shine so bright that talent agents scout me and my career soars and I never have to think about any of this ever again.” 

THE SUPPORTING ROLE: how do you deal with betrayal?

“If you betray me, you’re dead to me. And that’s just it. I don’t have time for it.”

THE UNDERSTUDY: who are you most envious of—real or fictional—and why?

answered here!

[saffijackson]

THE UNDERSTUDY

answered here!

[saffijackson]

the statue, the leading lady, the understudy

THE STATUE: do you prefer to blend in or stand out?

“Stand out, duh. I wouldn’t be a theater major if I didn’t want to stand out.”

THE LEADING LADY: how far have you gone to get ahead? would you go farther?

“Pretty fucking far. I don’t know how you can go father than letting a man die, but... And I’d absolutely go farther.”

THE UNDERSTUDY: who are you most envious of—real or fictional—and why?

“Literally anyone not attending this school. Nah, I don’t know, I like myself too much to feel envy.”

[saffijackson]

comic, stuntman, and utility

THE COMIC: what's the most ridiculous thing you actually attempted thinking it would work?

“Being in the closet. You think I’m joking? I really did try to be a cis boy in public for like, half my life. Me? A cis boy? I have to laugh.”

THE STUNTMAN: are you an optimist? why or why not?

“No. I wouldn’t say I’m a pessimist either, though. I’m a realist. Unlike some people, I’ve actually lived a normal person, unsheltered life, so I know what the world is like. There’s no point in making it seem any better or worse than it already is.”

THE UTILITY: do you usually instigate arguments or do you try to diffuse them? which would you prefer?

“Instigate! I love to start shit!”

[saffijackson]

ensemble ask meme.

THE CHAMELEON: ever done something without your parents finding out?

THE COMIC: what's the most ridiculous thing you actually attempted thinking it would work?

THE INGÉNUE: what’s something you wish would happen, but know won’t?

THE JUVENILE: do you have a favorite poem? poet?

THE LEADING LADY: how far have you gone to get ahead? would you go farther?

THE LEADING MAN: if you could play anyone in any form of media, who would it be and why?

THE SCENE STEALER: what traditions or rituals or mantras have you created for yourself?

THE STATUE: do you prefer to blend in or stand out?

THE STUNTMAN: are you an optimist? why or why not?

THE SUPPORTING ROLE: how do you deal with betrayal?

THE TEMPTRESS: what trait are you most proud of?

THE TOMBOY: what is your biggest regret? would you change anything if you could?

THE UNDERSTUDY: who are you most envious of—real or fictional—and why?

THE UTILITY: do you usually instigate arguments or do you try to diffuse them? which would you prefer?

THE VILLAIN: what do you wish you could take back? how would you fix it if you could?

[saffijackson]

teddynewell​:

.

“sorry, sorry,” teddy repeats again. when he looks up, he gives her a small smile. there’s a hint of blushing on his cheeks, it’s childish even. the people around teddy either loathed saffi or they absolutely adored her, there was no in-between. and for teddy, he couldn’t help but feel a little nervous whenever they were face to face. was he intimidated? maybe. “oh, great. i’m very glad to hear that,” he tells her earnestly. “i’ve been great too, if it wasn’t for… you know…” he pauses. no one can deny the police investigation is taking a toll on the fourth years. “if it wasn’t for that one tiny detail, i think it would be the perfect last semester.”

.

saffi nods solemnly. “yeah, it’s complicated,” she agrees. it’s not like she hasn’t made it obvious that she’s excited for the change heidi represented. she doesn’t feel the need to keep that from her classmates, even those who the cast list may have hurt. she cares about a few of them, though she’s not quick to admit it, but she ultimately prioritizes herself. on the other hand, the strain of the death and the investigation is... hard. “listen, if you ever need to just... decompress, hit me up.” they smile a little, noticing how he’s blushing. she found it endearing.

[saffijackson]

harryzhangs​:

Harry was caught, there was no getting around it. Sure, she could keep playing dumb and let Saffi come to their own conclusions, but what if those conclusions were even worse than the truth of what had happened? She had to think fast and smooth this over. Now. And it wasn’t as though Saffi had a great history with Orson… so maybe she’d even understand.

“Fine, okay. It’s mine.” Harry kept her voice level, eyes scanning Saffi for a reaction. She knew Saffi wouldn’t have any particular reason to keep this quiet– but it wasn’t as though they had much stake in turning her in, either. Harry would just have to count on the hope that Saffi felt some kind of loyalty to her peers, even if it wasn’t specifically to Harry. “I’m the one who painted those words on Orson’s house and trashed the place. Which I obviously wouldn’t have done if I’d known he’d actually end up dead, but…” Harry trailed off. The decision not to mention Jonah’s name had been an incredibly easy one. If Saffi decided not to keep her secret, Harry wasn’t going to drag Jonah down with her if she could help it. “That’s it, though, I swear. I didn’t fucking kill him. I have no idea who would.”

.

Saffi looked Harry up and down, weighing a few things in her head. It was well known that the suspicion was that whoever spray painted the building either killed Orson or was working with whoever did. However, Saffi couldn’t see Harry as a murderer. Sure, every true crime documentary had serial killers neighbors all saying He was so normal! I never suspected! But then those documentaries usually went on to describe all the ways the man in question was absolutely, very obviously not normal. Saffi didn’t know Harry that well, but she seemed normal. At least, as normal as anyone else at Alderidge, which was a pretty low bar.

So, they believed she didn’t kill him. But did she believe that Harry even did what she was claiming? She didn’t seem like the kind of person who would do all of that but then again, maybe there was a side of Harry people didn’t see. An interesting side... 

They relaxed their shoulders and softened their face, not letting their guard completely down but showing that they weren’t angry either. “Okay,” they said. “Okay. I... I believe you. Due in no small part to the fact that my finger prints are now on this can and if someone turned this in we could both be fucked.” That was mostly a joke, but also partially a valid concern. “What do we... do with this?”

[teddynewell]

𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗: who knows? time’s a social construct.  𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎: the fab theatre.  𝚠𝚑𝚘:@saffijackson​.

it’s another day of rehearsals at the fab. not that teddy has many lines to practice, but he likes to be where all the action is happening. besides, watching hudson practice his macbeth makes teddy’s heart swell with admiration. lover boy is so busy gazing towards the stage that he doesn’t realize there’s someone behind him when he turns around to leave. “i’m so sorry,” he says, looking up at saffi. “i wasn’t really looking.” teddy brings his hand to the back of his neck, giving them a small smile. it’s no secret he had a big crush on them sometime on their first year. it might be a secret to mathias, though. and maybe teddy prefers it stays that way. “it’s good to see you,” he adds, almost shyly. “with everything going on, i hope you’re doing  good.”

[saffijackson]

rehearsals were finally interesting for saffi, something she could actively participate in, rather than just watching her boyfriend, friends, and enemies all practice and seething with righteous anger and jealousy. when she steps in she stands behind teddy, waiting for her scenes to be called. “ooh!” she steps back just a bit when teddy nearly smashes into her while he turns around. “careful,” she winks at him. “it’s good to see you too. i’m doing... surprisingly well. you?”

[saffijackson]

harryzhangs​:

.

The sight of Saffi in her room wasn’t unwelcome, but it was certainly unusual; the two of them had been having their moments lately, but they weren’t quite friends, and their previous history over the past few years showcased something closer to mutual distaste. That had faded, though, and Harry felt herself softened toward Saffi– so she was prepared to greet them with friendliness, before she noticed the object they now held in their hands.

Fuck.

“Did you bring that?” Harry tried, feigning her best confused look as though she didn’t know exactly where Saffi had found the can of spray paint. Harry should’ve moved it from under her bed ages ago; it had just become so easy to pretend it wasn’t there, to ignore the glaring evidence waiting to be found. And now it had. “Thinking of doing some redecorating in here?” A joke. That’d be the thing to convince Saffi that what she’d found was of no consequence. Sure.

.

Saffi gave her an incredulous look. “Girl, you’re a good actress, but you’re not that good.” She held the spray paint can out towards the other girl. “Do you want tell me what this is? And explain why it’s under your bed? Or do you just want to keep pretending like you’ve never seen this before even though it was so obvious I saw it within 3 minutes of stepping into your room.”

They both knew what this can implied. And with tensions rising among all the fourth years over the cast list and the police reports, this discovery had gravity. Saffi didn’t necessarily want to rat Harry out or blame her for something. She wasn’t a snitch and she truthfully didn’t care that much either way what happened to Harry. What she did care about was herself. If having this evidence meant that she had something to divert police attention away from questioning her in the future she was going to keep hold of it.

[saffijackson]

bxstvrd​:

“They’re worse,” Jonah said definitively. He and Saffi were… well, they weren’t exactly pleasant, but he knew Saffi well enough to know that she was so much more than what their classmates, their teachers, thought her to be. He knew that there was goodness in her, the way he knew up from down, left from right, and he just hoped that, maybe, just maybe, they saw the same in him. “You and I,” he said, settling on a different tactic, knowing Saffi wasn’t one for him and his bleeding heart, “we may not be pleasant all the time, but at least we’re honest. It’s them doing the manipulating and the lying and I guess, the murder. Not us.”

A pause. Then, “You don’t actually think one of them did it, do you? Not the people the police asked about, but… everyone they didn’t mention.” It was too dark a thought, and he opted out quickly. The people that hadn’t been named included some of the people who meant the most to him here at Alderidge, Saffi among them.

So, instead, he focused on the equally depressing topic of the play. “Yeah, but what about you?” he said, glancing over at them. “You’re finally getting the recognition you deserve, and it’s assholes like me that are trying to invalidate that.” He took a deep breath, stubbing is cigarette out in the frozen earth. “I don’t know how to not be a dick about it. And that’s dumb.”

.

She nodded in agreement. Saffi appreciated Jonah saying that. Honesty, to her, was so much more important than being pleasant. If she’d concerned herself with being pleasant and palatable all the time to everyone, she’d never have survived. Her honesty, though? Saved her more times than she could count.

She freezes up a bit at the question. One of them is her. Everyone they didn’t mention includes her. What she did wasn’t murder but it wasn’t excusable in the eyes of the law either. It wasn’t guilt that she felt, but there was a pang of fear. She took another long drag of her cigarette and shrugged, grateful that he changed the subject before she had to start thinking up a good answer that didn’t come across strange.

“See?” She noted, hoping that any trace of fear was out of her voice. “You’re acknowledging it right now, so you’re not invalidating it. I know that I deserve this, and no matter how many times you or Mathias or anyone bitches and moans about their spots, I’m never going to forget it.” She gave him a small smile “But thanks, for acknowledging it at least. And besides,” she put out her own cigarette. “We’re both kind of dicks. I wouldn’t like you if you weren’t kind of a dick.”

[saffijackson]

ofmadsle​:

saffijackson​:

mads: the only valid type! you can still do better ♥️

mads: god right not to mention all these other classes how tf am i supposed to do rehearsals and write fucking essays oh god icb i ever thought i was gonna get a MASTERS like absolutely not. i am done as soon as i get that degree

mads: she really said orson whomstve??? and i applaud that

mads: tasteless joke but, whatever

mads: god RIGHT we can get those cheap string lights from tjmaxx and fenty savage bc miss robin knows how to look good

mads: LMAOOOO honestly like not everyone is that bad but the others… LMFAO directors will just be like cool u can speak in iambic pentameter but what else meanwhile me and u will have twitter threads dedicated to us yes m’aam yes m’aam 💅

saffi: true, true

saffi: literally!!! why is text study making me read academic papers about some other play WE’RE NOT EVEN DOING. YOU’RE CONFUSING ME SIR CAN I FOCUS ON BEING A WITCH PLS??

saffi: lmaoooo but truly

saffi: oh my god literally the pretentious folks in our class like “yeah, so i’ve done xyz shakespeare play” and casting ppl are like “ma’am this is a wendy’s commercial”

[saffijackson]

knightmathias​:

Taking the glass from her and using the opportunity to take a long sip, he follows her lead and sits on the bed beside her, albeit slightly more delicately. Only slightly. Mathias is tall and has an overwhelming presence; he doesn’t think he’s ever been able to shrink himself in his entire life. “Orson probably would’ve given you one of the witches, too,” he says honestly, and there’s not meant to be weight behind it. His trust in Orson is not a secret. “I just… I agree. It suits you. It just does.”

“Heidi can choke,” he states, as if summing up the whole point. He leans over to place his water on her bedside table, and then flops back onto the bed, throwing an arm across his face. “I’ve… I don’t know. Have you ever felt like you’ve known something about yourself your whole life, and suddenly you’re thrown in the opposite direction?”

She rolls her eyes at his Orson comment, “Oh please, you know that’s not true.” Her quip doesn’t have much bite, though. There’s no point to properly argue. Orson is dead, what roles he would have given everyone is unknowable and irrelevant. “Thank you, though, really,” the level of sincerity in her tone is a rarity, but more common around Mathias. “I... I worked really hard for it,” she adds, “I auditioned for Lady Macbeth but I’m...I’m proud of where I ended up.” Well, that’s a first.

She stays sitting up as he flops down, readjusting so she’s sitting cross legged, facing him. The bed isn’t big, though, and her knee rests against his. “Yeah, for sure. You’re just experiencing this now?”

[saffijackson]

where: harry’s room. when: after police report? at some point?? who: @harryzhangs​

Saffi and Harry weren’t exactly close, but they often found it helpful to have a study buddy for their text study course. They’d tried to find someone else, hitting the people they knew better before reaching out to Harry, but everyone else was busy. Plus, Saffi didn’t hate Harry, she didn’t really have anything against her. She honestly didn’t think Harry would agree, but there she was, in Harry’s dorm room, waiting awkwardly for her to get back from grabbing something.

Saffi wasn’t inherently nosy. Or, at least, she wasn’t trying to be nosy in that moment. She was just stretching her legs, trying to feel less awkward, when she noticed something under the bed. A part of her told her to leave her classmate’s stuff alone, but another part of her, a stronger part of her, was curious. Caught up in the mystery of it all, perhaps, against her better judgement. She bent down to take a look at it. A can of red spray paint. She picked it up; it had definitely been used.

[weltenwellen]

Edna St. Vincent Millay, from “Renascence”, The Selected Poetry of Edna St. Vincent Millay

[saffijackson]

ofmadsle​:

mads: now i get how everyone else feels with harry and i ksfhsf no shade love he’s pretty but dumb, i get it

mads: god same, i want this semester to eeeeeennnnnndddddd burn out is real

mads: right! i heard people got roles they didn’t even audition for, how cool. hopefully heidi isn’t awful to the younger ones. legacy and all that.

mads: ill help, we can get fake flowers and make it a Kehlani level photoshoot!

mads: RIGHT ik some directors from the film program, they’d love u. we’ll be at cannes i swear

saffi: my type in men is himbos and i won’t apologize!

saffi: i knooooow i’m really trying not to let it get to me because this is the best role i’ve gotten at this stupid school and i’m not gonna squander it but oh my god i’m so done here

saffi: it’s crazy! heidi said fuck it i’m gonna shake this up and y’know what? i respect it.

saffi: oh my god please, let’s do it. i would look so good.

saffi: yesssss we’re gonna kill it!! and everyone else is just gonna fizzle out and have to deal with the fact that they peaked in theater school lol

[saffijackson]

bxstvrd​:

.

Jonah nodded in agreement, lifting his cigarette to his lips and inhaling slowly. He felt a jolt of warmth at the knowledge that, yet again, his trust in Saffi was not misplaced. In fact, he trusted their judgement more than he believed in his own sometimes, and it felt that much more gratifying to know he’d chosen correctly. “I didn’t say much either,” he said, honest. “I barely remember anything from that night, and what I do remember isn’t relevant, so why would I try and speculate? Especially in front of detectives.”

A wry, humorless laugh, and he glanced over at them, shaking his head. “Did you ever think it’d be you and me keeping our mouths shut during a murder investigation? I fucking didn’t. The rest of them, they’d love to think we’re the reason they’re in this mess, but no… they did it all to themselves.” Perhaps commending himself for doing the bare minimum wasn’t a great look, but hell, he needed the win.

He slouched backwards, leaning on his elbows as he exhaled a plume of smoke. “Real shit way to end college though,” Jonah mused. “I thought I knew how all of this was going to go, and… I wasn’t so naive to think it would be perfect, but I really didn’t think it would be this.”

After a moment, he smiled, sadly, letting out a weary sigh. “It’s really dumb that I’m this upset about a play, isn’t it?”

.

“My mama didn’t raise a snitch,” she added. Of course, Saffi had other reasons for keeping as quiet as they were. The less they said, the less the police would want to speak to them. The less they had to speak to police, the less likely it was that anyone would find out about what they did that night.

Jonah was right, though, about everyone’s perception about them. Of course everyone would think they were the causes of destruction, the reasons everything would fall apart. Cold, angry and bitter, Saffi and Jonah. Of course they’d be the ones everyone would assume would speculate and try to throw people under the bus. “They’re just as bad as they think we are,” she commented. “Worse, even.”

“It’s not dumb,” she assured him. “And I’m not just saying that. This is the last play we’re going to do here. It’s our last hurrah and also what we’ve been working towards forever. You’re allowed to be fucked up over it.”