DEAR READER
Sade Olutola

if i look back, i am lost
Keni
wallacepolsom

ellievsbear
cherry valley forever
we're not kids anymore.
will byers stan first human second
Mike Driver
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

#extradirty

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occasionally subtle
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
$LAYYYTER

Love Begins
trying on a metaphor

Discoholic 🪩

Andulka

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@safwaan
♡ A Poem ♡
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Held in the folds of your hand
"Don't touch a single thing in this store"
I learned that asking was a sin
We had not
I was not
Held in the folds of your hand
Fabric
The threads that twine me to who I am now
Your hand was always shaking
A pindrop of blood from a barb you tailored for someone else
I forgave you
The roar of the men you chose echoing behind your eyes as you told me you loved me
Resentment to the tone
A nail through sheet metal
It was your way of forcing yourself closer
You loved me
You love me
Held in the fold of your hand
You were only an arm away
I was little more than your elbow in height
I learned to walk in your stride
I have your eyes
I grew to have your walk as well
Pace
The speed that I needled all of these lessons into my habits
Sewn into my character
A teddy bear stitch
Folded
Pressed
Crumbled
The stuffing stretched too thin
Mother, why do we grow so fond of the pillows that break to pieces under our head?
Why do we crave a recognizable feeling rather than a comfortable one?
Mother, held in the fold of your hand
Your flesh was less than a palm
It was leather
It was warmed by my own insistence to be near it
It was a glove of sorts
Mother, does the thought still warm your hands?
It still warms mine
Are you still so frigid?
Mother, I can not answer for God
You cried to him when I was in the doorway
You prayed to him
"Held in the folds of your hand"
Was God's hands leather as well?
Was I a thorn or a jewel in your crown?
Prayer was hope
Mother, I fear prayer is greed
I learned that asking was a sin
Mother, I cry in silence
Taking the wood from that door frame, I fashioned myself a cross
I held my breath until my chest ached
Grief became sacrament
Every drop I cradled into the rivers of my hands
Fortune filled streams
Palm magic
Showing me that existence is suffering
That when you need to cry out, you have to cover your ache with it
Block the exit
That's the only way rebirths are symbolic
Christ like
Grief is a God
I cried for you
In silence
It's what's appropriate
Held in the fold of your hand
Mother, you made me
-----
- Bacco Amon
♡ My thoughts on GNX. ♡
Tracks 1-4
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"Anita Baker in the tape deck, it's gonna be a sweet love"
On GNX Kendrick gives himself permission to return to his roots while audibly leaning into a level of frustration over the lack of integrity and passion that Kendrick believes to be missing in music of today. This project serves as a reminder of how intention and dedication to craft are the foundation to a great artist and a necessity for any who wish to stand the test of time.
Kendrick is in full form as he doesn't shy away from cementing his position in the timeline of hip hop and wears the crown proudly as he clearly shows his passion for the past and future of the genre. Which leaves us with an album which at first glance could be assumed to be a victory lap for the Compton born artist after a monumental year that solidified his ability to out create, think, and battle his elite list of peers. But I'd like to highlight a beautiful narrative piece that pulls this collection of records into the conceptual world that we have grown to expect from a Kendrick Lamar album.
The Buick GNX
This is the narrative device he uses to carry the listener through his insights and passions surrounding the west coast, morals, his views on integrity, Hip Hop, and even his past lives. Kendrick makes an effort to emphasize his dream car, as well as the music and personalities that would be sharing the seats with him as he rides through the lives and history of LA culture.
Kendrick commands space on this release in a way that one could assume to be juxtapositioning 2022's "Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers", however, astute listeners will notice that this is a direct progression of the introspective therapy session we were granted insight to on said record. GNX is a roaring list of rules of engagement, a thematic element that Kendrick reiterates throughout the project. As well as being a car, the title could refer to GEN-X, the current political and social leaders of our age which have been characterized as the ones who created the society of "crash out" prone and destabilized youth of "Young [REDACTED]" that are filled with resentment due to their lack of guidance and disdain for their sociopoltical foundation from which they never consented to and have been consistently mislead within. Emphasizing the generational conversation that speaks throughout this work.
Kendrick's bravado on this record stems from a place of centering himself and by doing so standing on tested principles and insights that will allow him to be a worthy competitor and a more powerful presence due to the protections of his own introspection, spirituality, and lessons from his elders as well as past lives. This is the same message he is giving to the youth, a message of self actualization and self study while packaged in a strong presence of hard work and status. Though it should be noted he coyly undermines the pursuit of status when it is not done so with authenticity and integrity.
"I feel your presence here, last night, and we began to weep."
These are the first words heard on the project. Sung in Spanish by the Los Angeles native Deyra Barrera. Her voice chills the air on the first listen, settling into one's flesh as her voice is paired with traditional Mexican mariachi guitars as a clear homage to he Intersectionalities of the cultural history within LA. These reflective and mournful words are tied into the integral themes of the project. It is not by accident to utilize this voice as Barrera's Mexican ancestry can be seen within Kendricks own ideas around death and ancestry. Undoubtedly from the Intersectionalities and philosphical melting pot of LA. With these words Kendrick is in the presence of the past. The GNX a throwback to times gone, his sentimental nostalgia for greats of the past, of morals that are no longer valued, and of his past life's and elders who's lessons protect him even now. The line "we began to weep." Empahizes a togetherness, a collective presence. Kendrick is acknowledging that he did not make it here on his own. His history is not a singular soul nor body. He is standing in the footsteps of those before but has finally accepted that he is a giant in his own right, humbled only by the passing of time which his elders remind him of with their very presence.
"Wacced Out Morals"
Opens with an aggression left mostly to Kendricks one off singles and features. Rarely are we blessed with a straightforward "fuck a double entendre" approach from Kendrick and it serves the messaging on the track perfectly. Over the DJ Dahi and Sounwave led production Kendrick airs out his grievances with his current peers and the elder statesmen of hip hop. He notes how his recent beefs and tension could have ended with money being funneled to these "crash dummies", or the "Young [REDACTED] addressed early in my insights, which would have led to not only the loss of his life but the disruption of his mission and community within LA and further. This brings a chilling recollection of the death of the great Nipsey Hussle. Someone Kendrick grieved publicly on his infamous "The Heart Part 5". He uses this track as a trial of the culture, one where he positions himself as a tried and true student of the streets and hustle culture that hip hop claims to uphold but in his eyes has used only for profit and false intentions. As the track continues he levels himself to the heights of greats within the genre by expressing resentments towards Lil Wayne and Snoop Dogg for not showing a level of respect he felt was deserving for his work. After a quick nod to the NY legend Nas he sets his mark on
what he perceives to be the false personalities of the industry and revels in the idea that as a self proclaimed man of integrity he can now move in his own light and power for these false faces have been removed and as those masks drop, his true enemies are exposed. Marking himself as a clear target but one which can also fire back with an accuracy and ferocity that he seems to be comfortable in. He addresses those who wish to find their own power with one simple message.
"Go and up your Rank... know you a god, even when they say you ain't."
- "Squabble Up" -
"God knows, I am. Reincarnated, I was star gazing..."
These words are paired with a heaving of breath as Kendrick calls upon the concept of his reincarnation and introduces a disrespectful and self affirming dance inspired single.
The casette changes to Debbie Debs 1983 hit "When I hear music" as Kendrick takes us on an uptempo spin around the block. This long awaited anthem left us craving the entire record after famously appearing as the snippet for the internet breaking "Not Like Us" it speaks on the ability to stand on your square while leaning on ones individual "politics. Kendrick feels confident and willing to take his opposition's character into account before he takes aim. He comments on federal relationships in the industry which is a clear attack on false identities as well as quid pro quo. This is Kendrick saying he is done with transactional love and is willing to go to war for his just dues. Notably, lesser known producers M-Tech and Bridgeway work with Sounwave and Jack Antonoff to create the perfect soundscape for such a message.
- "Luther" -
As everyone should be aware. No nighttime ride around your favorite city is complete without the beautiful vocals of Luther Vandross as well as a passenger. The first of our fellow passnegeres enters with SZA joining us for the ride. The cassette clicks over to a beautiful instrumentation of rising strings and a soft guitar section. This is a love story caught dancing in the wheels of a night time drive in California. The record carries the same credited producers as "Squabble up" but the additions of Rose Lilah of production fame for the first beat on Baby Keem's Family Ties as well as the ever stunning Kamasi Washington makes this record one of the most gorgeous pieces on the album. It samples Cheryl Lynn and Luther Vandross' 1982 song "If This World Were Mine". Hope and Love are the central themes as well as the ability to use the power of love as an empowerment.
"If this world was mine, I'd take your enemies in front of God, introduce them to that fire"
A beautiful piece of writing that uses colloquialisms and spins them to emphasize a divine connection to smite a lovers adversaries or qualms. SZA sounds of the heavens themselves as her and Kendrick's vocals waltz between the lyrics and melodies. Speaking of coping with optimism and better days to come. This dance of pure devotion and redemption again centers a deep love as the ultimate power against adversity and uncertainty. A monumental record that I believe will be a jewel in his discography for ages.
- "Man at the garden" -
Here, Kendrick reaches for a different spirit to medium. This record made me brake to a screeching halt on the first listen. Two songs in particular come to mind. Two records that would undoubtedly be in Kendrick's history lessons as well as his tape deck. Two spirits that Kendrick would love to channel and pay homage to. Those two records being "One Mic" and "Starin' Through My Review" by Nas and Tupac respectively. The muted soft synth chords as well as pull back instrumentation from our producer ensemble are aided by the ears of Craig Balmoris from "Best Kept Secret" and a producer with not much under his belt by the name of Tyler Mehlenbacher. The haunting affirmation of "I Deserve it All" is a call upon what Kendricks ancestors are giving him. He believes he has earned every drop of admiration and respect that he has garnered. He declares his public "crash out" as he refuses to be undone by people lower than him and has decided there is no more room for one who has done the work to return to self to be quiet or humble with what they deserve. This brings to mind a particular line from "Wesley's Theory", the opening to 2015s "To Pimp A Butterfly" where the devil or uncle sam is pushing Kendrick towards the pitfalls of hedonism with the phrase "get it all, you deserve it, Kendrick"
Interestingly enough, it seems that same message has reached Kendrick almost a decade later but now with his luxuries being earned and gifted benevolently by his ancestors.
"Every reason why my ancestors sent me, Bitch, deserve it all. "
He speaks an affirmation of allowance. Of gratefulness. But also of disrespect to those who would deny him. And the lines prior show a confident spirit, an ancestor that Kendrick has evoked and held medium before on the same project that "Wesley's Theory" was born from. That spirt being Tupac Shakur.
Tupac and Kendrick have a number of instances where their philosophies overlap and I believe Kendrick to hold Tupac at a level of reverence much higher than most when compared to other legends of the genre. The line
"Writin words, tryin to elevate these children."
summons the ethos of Tupac in a way that shows how deeply the now mythical artist has effected Kendricks philosophies and self purpose. Tupac, much like the entirety of GMX preached a balance of self education, self affirmation, love for community, love for children, and the ability to crash out. Kendrick is Plato to this hip hop Socrates and finalizes this record with a triumphant and well earned decloration. That he believes himself to be the greatest of all time.
♡ An excerpt from a work in progress. ♡
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Can I get a witness?
My child eyes firelit by the heat around me. Joyous teeth discoballing the room. Elation ornamenting our ritual as the walls bowed to corral the lifted hungerings that spilled across hundreds of tongues. The beams of this large skeleton ribcaging over our heads, we the lungs breathing for it, echoing chants to and from. Landing on my ears. Dazed and drunken I reached for the flesh that they paraded to the haze of hands outstretched in starvation. Mine being one, I felt the flesh shift over my fingers leaving a soft reminder of it's presence on them as I layed it on my tongue. Just as the adults did. I watched with mirrored habits as they grabbed chalices of blood and we drank. I drank. The blood filled my mouth, coagulating between the crevices of my teeth. I watched them all rejoice and a pity set deep in my stomach. For the body we just devoured. I felt the urge to spill it out over the floor but feared reprimand. I watched as they swallowed. The stench of it now settling into my throat and clawing towards the back of my nostrils. I gulped it down so it wouldn't reach my eyes. I felt it scream in my stomach and I choked back the urge to scream with it. To this day I don't entirely know why I never made my discomfort known. Perhaps it was the blood that scabbed my lips and sealed them from the inside. The lights dimmed and voices rang as I felt mine tumble into the depths of my lungs. I sat back in the pew. Pressing my knees into my chest. I cradled myself, as we were in the skeleton of God. The others were too elated to notice. But in that moment. In that great body. Something in my devotion decayed.
And I began to live.
new kids on the block
classic
a moment in life
koko
nothing was the same
In this music video, Safwaan shows everyone why he's the king of the south. With sick rhymes, he takes down everybody in his path. Check out this King of The South (Music Video) and see for yourself why he's the king of the south.
Destin, FL. 2022
Dothan, AL. Mardi Gras Parade 2022
same shit, different toilet