It's a revolution, I suppose.

Sage Wolff. 27. pagan. psychic. Greetings! Like it says above, I'm Sage, and I'm the owner of The Crystal Wolff, which is located in Spooky Island. I can read tarot cards, sell you herbs, sell you crystals, and tell you all about things you probably don't believe in. "Holy water cannot help you now. A thousand armies couldn’t keep me out. I don’t want your money, I don’t want your crown.See I have to burn your kingdom down."

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what do you think about cobie?

She’s a lucky woman, and I don’t really have much more to say than that. She used to be a great friend, too.

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do you miss kenzi as a gf??

Kenzi was never my girlfriend, so no. We were never official, so there’s nothing to miss.

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have you ever had sex with a ghost?

No. Fortunately, nothing remotely close to that has ever happened to me. Hopefully my talent continues without me ever having to sleep with a ghost.

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 cameramancaleb:

Wait, you live on Spooky Island now? Woaaaaah, small world! DO YOU STILL HAVE CANDLES? 

I do, yeah. I moved here a couple of years ago. Tell me about it. I never expected to see any of you ever again, except for maybe Rowan. I still have quite an extensive collection of them, if you want to come and check them out.

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 baileyxjames:

I kidnapped her. That’s why I’m hiding out in Spooky Island.

I’d have believed you, but apparently your kid is related to Caleb, so... Awkward.

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 catchingkenzi:

He is.. He can rap Drake and everything. It’s okay.. I kinda guessed as much after I sat on your steps for an hour and some woman shooed me away with a broom. You never really know with people, and you should always keep both eyes open. That’s what my boss tells me, and he’s trustworthy because he has a mustache. I don’t actually know.. Maybe they’re undercover reporters pretending to be tourists to get the best dish.

I’m not very familiar with Drake’s music, but that sounds precious. Oh, that was a little aggressive of her. I’m not sure who owns my old place now, but I’d hoped it’d be someone nice, and friendly, in case my former customers tried to get hold of me. I’m not sure mustaches make someone automatically trustworthy, but if that’s what you believe, then who am I to disagree. Perhaps they are, but I’m pretty sure everyone here is just here for a break from reality.

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 rowanjackson:

I’m skeptical about a lot of things, but what you do never fails to fuck with my head. I can imagine this place has just the right aesthetic to work in your favor. I see now, what you mean about it. I love watching the sun rise, so that works for me. I like it better before the tourists start stirring. No secret child or secret wedding for me. Unless you count the adult child that eats leftovers, of course. Though, stay in that train of thought for what I want to talk to you about. I can imagine you don’t. I’m sorry if you’re.. uncomfortable with certain people here. I can imagine it’s not pleasant.

I’m pleased to hear that, even if it does somewhat annoy you. It does. I get a lot more customers than I did back in Coolsville. A majority of the tourists are pretty friendly, but some of them are as creepy as the island itself. I don’t really count Hale as a child, because she’s capable of making her own decisions and is over 16. Are you going to propose or something? It’s fine. It’s just a bump in the road, and I’ll get over it, eventually.

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How do you feel about the fact that #bailebisincest?

Not entirely surprised, oddly.

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 catchingkenzi:

Isn’t he the most handsome?? He’s perfect, and I know that’s a parent thing but he’s the best, and so smart. I wasn’t actually sure exactly when you moved, but I did go to visit you after y’know.. they let me out, Rocket was born and I was being a person, but you were gone. But how else was there a magical tropical storm in the middle of winter just to keep everyone here? Maybe he’s the real bad guy behind the creepy stuff. Maybe this is ALL to make money from the reporters that like writing about the gang. Maybe he’s a Scooby fan. I don’t know his life.

He’s very handsome, yes. It is a parent thing, but I’m sure he is perfect. Oh, uh, sorry for leaving without saying anything. I just thought that it’d be best if I left you to your life with Cobie, and your new son. I don’t know. Global warming could factor into it, I suppose. I don’t think the owner is a bad guy, but I could be wrong. Are there even any reporters on the island right now? I think everybody is a Scooby fan. 

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rowanjackson:

It is aptly named Spooky Island, so that much doesn’t surprise me too much. I would have thought the scarier the antics, the better for business, though. I haven’t traveled all the way up to the highest point yet, so perhaps we could do it together soon? I have so much to tell you - our phone conversations don’t do it justice. Alas, the cult isn’t far behind me. It’s like going back a full three years.

It’s mainly named that because it’s meant to look spooky. There are a lot of spirits here, though. But what do I know? I’m just a fake, apparently. I do pretty good business here without anything too dramatic going on. Tourists love to have their cards read. I’d be up for a hike, as long as it’s before I have to open the shop. You haven’t had a secret child have you? Are you married? I’d rather not go back three years, or be reminded of it for the rest of my life. There’s no escaping the memories now, though.

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 catchingkenzi:

That’s still in America, right? I forget it’s been that long sometimes. Time flies super fast when I’ve been helping a real human grow up. Rowan told me you moved here a few times but I totally forgot when we came. The guy that owns the island and used magic to control the weather. 

Yes, it is. I saw the picture that Cobie recently uploaded on Instagram, and he looks like a sweet little guy. I moved here not long after Mystery Inc. went their own separate ways. I really don’t think he can control the weather. If he could, I’m sure he’d be making it sunny, so that more people would come here, and he’d make more money.

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 rowanjackson:

That I can’t blame you for. I’m not thrilled to see a certain few, but I knew what I was walking into. We’re the ones crashing your turf. I can see why, but regardless of the tourist areas, the island is quite beautiful. I went for a hike this morning after the rain calmed and I can see why you’ve stayed. It’s good to see you, though.

I just find it ridiculous that of all the places you could have been called to, you got called here. Fate can be so cruel. Yes, it is rather nice here. In the summer, it’s even better. Hiking is one of the best things this place has to offer. The views can be spectacular, if you climb high enough. It’s good to see you, too. It’d be better if it were just you here, but it is what it is.

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@catchingkenzi replied to your post “This might seem weird but I saw someone that looks JUST like you on...”

I WAS HOPING IT WAS YOU AND NOT THE SCARY SISTER!!!! Is this weird? Should it be weird? We're all stuck here because of the wizard. I missed you

My scary sister still lives in Louisville, so no need to worry about that. It’s a little weird, I suppose. I mean, I haven’t really spoken to you very much for 3 years, so I must admit that this is slightly awkward. What wizard? 

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 rowanjackson:

You almost sound a little disappointed to see me, Sage. When I saw the not so sly anonymous letter wanted me here, I couldn’t pass it up. You’ve sung its praises.

It’s not you that I’m disappointed to see, it’s certain other individuals. I thought I’d seen the back of a majority of them when I left Coolsville. Well, as great as I find this place, I’ve got a feeling a lot of people are going to criticize it.

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 baileyxjames:

Makes sense that you’d end up somewhere as fake as your “talents”. Congrats.

You know what doesn’t make sense? You walking around with a blonde haired little girl. Did you kidnap her, or is she yours?

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As much as I was in disbelief that any of the former Mystery Inc. gang members, along with new ones could be on Spooky Island, it seems that some twist of fate has brought all of you here. I’m still doing tarot readings, rune readings, seances, and everything else I used to do in Coolsville, if anyone is interested. If not, then... I don’t really know. Hello, I guess?

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This might seem weird but I saw someone that looks JUST like you on this weird island I'm stuck on. Is that you or that twin everyone keeps thinking you are??

If the weird island you’re referring to is named Spooky Island, then it’s me that you’ve seen. I moved here a while ago. This is the last place I’d expect to see any of the former Mystery Inc. members.