desert star.

scorpio written by azalia. 

[saharoshi-blog]

thalassa·

she could not remember another time when her hair had been this long, she mused as she walked along the beach, the gentle waves playing around her feet. then, she had never been in a position of … leadership before, either. it was something that still felt alien, foreign. what was not strange to her was alexius’ form, waiting for her not far from the house they were currently living in.

it was a — temporary solution for a problem that would hopefully be just as temporary, this was what she kept telling those who were … uncomfortable with these close quarters but especially arche who longed for the wilds that were sprawling out at the back of the island. only that it was not safe for him to leave.

her thoughts became lighter with every step she took to close the distance between her and her beloved. she reached out for him, a smile settling onto her face. it was difficult to contemplate the unknown or worry about what the future might hold when she was this happy to see him — as himself, not as what he had been made into.

‘‘ alexius, ’’ she said, his name rolling off her tongue as sweetly as so many times before as she wrapped one arm around him and rested her head against his shoulder. ‘‘ i went swimming and i found something you might like, ’’ she said, unable to keep the excitement out of her voice. for ages, she had not been able to do this — get him a surprise, just because she had felt like it. there had been rules in place that had prevented those simple gestures. the thought almost made her angry again, but she took a deep breath and remained calm.

how long had it been, alexius wondered golden eyes staring out at the sea, how long since he’d been able to feel the call of the horizon? the time he spent as scorpio felt like a retreating memory, eons of the same routine caving in on itself to reveal a kaleidoscope of only the more notable things. but he is sure that scorpio never felt this ache - the nostalgia & resentment that rose within him when he remembered how the ease he had once had in crossing deserts, sailing across oceans, parade through jungles. 

he was not created to be stagnant, but here he was, bound to a single island. both by his newfound limitations && by the need for safety. it was a hard taste to swallow around, for he was not used to bitterness in his throat. 

but the jagged thoughts &&& feelings that plagued him, faded into the background when he heard his name called, felt a a familiar arm slip around him. he relaxed into the touch, tension melting away with ease. this new world, the new situation they’d all found themselves trapped in - it wasn’t easy, but alexius could handle it. he could deal with any chains that wrapped around his ankles - because he’d regained his most valued freedom. thalassa. 

he’d loved her even when neither of them had known who they were & there was not a single universe in which he could picture anything different. but now, now when they were themselves once more, he was free to love her, truly, && be loved in return. 

a fond smile pulled at the edges of lips &&& he moved his hand to grip the arm that encircled him. “thalassa,” he returned, her name drenched in a honest relief, a love that seemed to run deeper than his own nature. playfully, feeling lighter than he had right to, alexius continued,  “Shall I close my eyes? so you can reveal your gift with some extra verve?”

[saharoshi-blog]

the girls were long asleep and thalassa was leaning against alexius as they relaxed on the couch, only that suddenly, she had to laugh. "ayse has been spending too much time with erida's boy," she said with a light chuckle. "before you ask, yes, she did ask if i have any intention to make an honest man out of you."

shifting lightly so his arms remained at her shoulders, alexius heaved out a greater sigh than he needed. “That’s it. I’m ready gamble my life savings - this is chaila’s fault, one way or another.” 

arin is a sweet boy, there’s no way to deny that. somehow, being raised by the two people with the most aggressive energy alexius has ever met, resulted in a kid who got stars in his eyes every time he saw a butterfly, or dessert, or a glowing sign, or ayse, or - well, the kid was easily excited “I’m pretty sure arin is serving as chaila’s enabler, co-conspirator & therapist all in one. gods be good, arin will learn to step over chaila crying on the carpet, and chaila will learn to remind arin there are more movie genres than just romantic comedies.” 

really, it was a surprise it’d taken this long for the kids fascination for love to rub off on ayse. erida && caprian’s idea of a romantic date probably involved more tax fraud &&& acrylic paint than  any other couple, so arin had learned to turn his attention elsewhere. 

with a cautious joking tone, like he’d be fine if she laughed it off or ignored the words all together, alexius drums his fingers lightly on her shoulder & grins “but the good news is, people can have an intention for years without acting on it. so if everyone phrases their question so eloquently - we’ll be in the clear.” 

[saharoshi-blog]

REMEMBER TO REPOST & NOT REBLOG. FEEL FREE TO ADD TO THE LIST. bold  the aesthetic for your muse italicize what can be taken 2 ways or applies only partially.

“ you rise, I fall, I stand, you crawl, you twist, I turn. ”  /   “ just braid your hair if you won’t brush it, at least, you useless girl. ”  /   pulling on your skirt with one hand as you shuffle away.   /   “ you’ll get it done before the day is up. ”   /   guilt that isn’t yours to have.  / it’s a crooked game, but it’s the only one in town.   /   chains.  /   a face in the mirror that you don’t recognize. / “ how could you do this to me? ” /  the sharp sting of guilt. / you feel something even though you’re paid to do the opposite.   / the family you never had.   /   falling backwards through time.   /  quicksand.   / drowning,  but you don’t save yourself.   /   “ you’re getting better. ”   / “ they smile like a snake.”   / you’re the stars and the sky.   /  there’s a part of you that couldn’t stay away even if you were forced to. /   they are your wings, there’s no doubt there.  / “ let’s take off somewhere. let’s fly. ”   / you edge a bit too close to the sun.   /  another ghost to take your place after every stumble. /   deep roots in the ground slashed open in the sun.   /  rock candy melting in water.   /   waves rise and leave the foam behind.   /   the precipice you call home has a tip you’ll reach eventually.   /   happiness is the best front a man can make.  / discomfort at the tiniest of touches. /   the sky opens up when you see them.   /   rain comes down.   /   poppy fields.   / your sanity hanging by a thread.   / “ oh god, what have you done? ”  /   your mother had the most beautiful gardens, but you can’t grow anything worth a damn.  /   the similarities between deep space and deep water.   /   they’ve got a devil on their shoulder and an angel in their mind.   /   you tried to help, but it only got worse.   /   now they’re dead, it’s all your fault.   /   adam & eve in the garden.   /  a temptress in crisp button-downs.   /   “ fuck, you’ve gone off the deep end, haven’t you? ” /   they lie so perfectly you almost forget yourself.   / the spark that lit the kindling on your funeral pyre.   /   you smell like the mountains in the winter.   /   crisp red apples piled up on the table.  /   your shoes are sharp, but your wit is even sharper. / a soft, hollow spot sits in your chest.   / there’s a place you’ll never leave no matter who tries to stop you. /   the seat of power fits like a glove. / heavy is the head that wears the crown. / you share a space, but not a mind. / they think you are weak; you are, maybe.   /    “ what are you going to do with all of these pills? ”   / an empty bird’s nest. /   broken pencil tips.   / there’s an empty paper in front of you that you’ll never fill.   /   “ we want you to succeed. i  hope you can grasp that. ”   /   “ they weren’t there when it happened. ”  / quick to anger.   /   corruption. / there’s a red string tying you together. /   the scent of whiskey on the horizon.  / “ you’re the best friend i’ve ever had. ”  / pink tipped fingers lock in secrecy.   /   “ jump. I dare you. ”   /   99 red balloons drifting through a hazy sky.   / you try to lift your head up, but it’s so much effort.    /   always walking on sunshine.   /   marble under the sun.   /   “ I was hoping that you’d understand. ” /   there’s a million reasons to come down from the clouds, but you can’t be bothered.   /   loon is the word of the day.   /   hair twisted up with glitter butterfly clips like a haphazard mobile.   /   you drift, but you know where you’re going.   /   no one has any dirt on you because you’re infinitely spotless.   /  the empty side of your bed they crawled into when they were nine.   /   court hearings.   /  “ I miss you. ”   /   siblings are a funny thing. /   they point out every family-shaped hole in every picture on the mantelpiece. / a lone wolf separated from its pack.   /  god-blood.   / “ they say your name is death. ”   / all-consuming passion.  / think about the things you did. / feed off the daylight.  /   no signs of life. /   “ what are you waiting for? ” /   a diaphanous sea of rose petals.   / pure wilderness.   / if you’re hungry enough, anyone can stop caring about something long enough to eat it.   /  spine like a ladder, and his weary feet can’t find purchase.   /   the burn was so slow no one ever saw it coming. /   learn through teaching.   /  there were things . /  your own acts from which you could not recover.   /   how the other half dies.   /   “ have you ever thought about why trees bleed? ”  /  your mother crashed against the rocks to give you the world.   /   you are not safe.  you are alone.  no one is coming for you.  /   “ go down with me,  fall with me. ” /   i am awake in the place where women die.   / thunder rolling on the hills.   /  black on black on black on black on bl —   / the long game. / restless hands.   /   ivy infiltrating an empty, corroded church.   /  you will do anything to spare them. / a cemetery by the moon, unblessed.   / every sparrow god forgot.   / even when you walked one would think you waltzed.   /   the worst monsters wear the faces of men.   /   “ madmen know nothing, but you should have seen me. ”  / “ my blood ran cold. ”   /   power corrupts.   /   wood grain and nail tracks.   /   no scales are strong enough to judge you.

TAGGED  : @sacrecean TAGGING : whoever wants to steal it but @withachanceoflaxus

[saharoshi-blog]

"i need you to remember that i love you," erida started as she sat down on the couch, hands wrapped tightly around her tea cup. "but — and it is not like i want to kick you out — have you and thalassa ever considered to move in together?"

alexius exhaled, letting loose the breathe he’d held when erida had began. he should have known better than to get nervous before she finished. their family had a touch for the dramatics, but he sometimes forgot that erida hadn’t escaped that trait either. 

“first of all, lets never start a conversation with a reminder of love again.” he teased, buying time for him to consider how to answer her. he wasn’t surprised at the question, if anything he was surprised she didn’t ask sooner.  

not for the first time, he was grateful for erida & caprian’s generosity in letting him crash in their guest room when he rolled through town. the frequency of which was steadily increasing - so he could understand that questions would start brewing. it was only the other day when arin asked him if he could be the flower boy at the wedding. 

( he wasn’t sure if chaila or erida was more to blame for that particular idea, or if arin’s preference for romantic comedies was finally starting to have consequences ) 

“we... haven’t discussed it.” he answered slowly, because it was true. he’d thought about it a handful of times, but only briefly. it was only recently that he started feeling confident about calling her his girlfriend, he hadn’t had the courage to even really think about moving in with her. 

alexius wouldn’t have changed their relationship for the world, he loved her, loved that she was able to understand his nature && that he felt like he got hers. but neither of them had ever pushed to assign labels, or check off the ‘normal’ boxes, so progression in their relationship had always happened slowly, more actions than conversation. 

perhaps, if their relationship had developed into something more conventional, they’d be living together already. but he wasn’t in town the majority of the year &&& thalassa had three girls to care for. given the circumstances, he wasn’t sure what she’d make of him bringing up moving in. “it’s kind of complicated though, you know? I’m gone too much to ever really live anywhere & she’s got the girls.” 

but, if he’s being honest with himself, he thinks they could make that work. alexius has been there since lassa first adopted juvia, been there when she took cimeria in, when she got custody of ayse. he adores the three of them like the little sisters he never had && he’s confident they like him as well. 

really, he’s not against the idea of it all. he just doesn’t know that thalassa would agree.

[saharoshi-blog]

"don't."

scorpio was lounging across the furniture when the newly returned “Leader Of The Zodiacs” entered the room. the spirit realm was one that evolved, stuck in no time or place - but there were a few things that remained ever constant. this was gearing up to be one of them.  

really, it was almost like leo had forgotten who scorpio was. 

“Don’t?” deliberately bewildered, he moved to sit up straighter. eyes wide, he made a confused sound. 

if he was being honest - scorpio didn’t tend to tease the others as often as he did leo. he joked & jested, poked at aries’ horns or tugged on capricorns tie every now && then to lighten the mood. but leo was just so serious, shoulders rigid from bearing the weight of his golden leash &&& there was something painful in it. 

even now, maybe especially now, leo remained burdened by things he shouldn’t have had to hold in the first place & scorpio was never one to pick at the real scabs others wanted to hide. but he knew as much as leo grudgingly endured his jokes - they were helpful, in their way. 

plus this one was just so much fun. 

“You’ve never had a problem with me laying around on the furniture before, loke.” he drawled, the teasing edge to his voice wasn’t mean - but it was heavy. followed by a sharp, sudden, understanding hum. “oh Is this a new thing? something you picked up when you were… in costume, should I say?” 

[seaternal]

"what’s a little bit of hopeless hoping?" scorpio bites out, a bitter edge that's unfamiliar on his tongue. he hates the taste. "I just wish she was here, that's not so bad, is it?"

the entire realm was grieving. aries and libra were clinging to one another — their grief was the same, was different from all other grief; revita had lost a friend and scorpio had lost his partner, his love, but aries and libra had loved someone who had filled many roles for them. to them, aquarius had been a blend of close friend, older sister and perhaps even mother figure. cancer was distanced, but it was not like usually was — this time, he did not seem bored or uncaring, this time it seemed like the uncharted depths of his mind held a secret that he was not sharing. her son was hurting, too, the uncertainty weighing heavy on him and she hated, hated that did not know what to say to make his pain stop. there was no one who was unaffected by this, no one she did not feel sorrow for. she pitied leo, too, because it was so obvious he did not know what to do to fix any of this  ( and she was not even sure if it could be fixed )  but above all, she worried about scorpio.

when capricorn had been gone, when she had been sad and angry and then just furious, scorpio had been there  ( so had aquarius, but the thought only hurt ).  scorpio had been there, had helped her to keep it together when all she had wanted was a summoner powerful enough to track down the  scum  that was holding capricorn prisoner and  hurt  zoldeo, badly. many others had avoided her, had not wanted to get caught up in the vortex of her grief and her anger, but scorpio had been there, he had talked her down, he had held her until she had found a new sense of normal, one that was still laced with despair but not with as much suffering.

but in capricorn’s case, they had known his fate. and this had made a difference. revita had been able to dream about making zoldeo suffer  because  she had known that he was the one who had taken capricorn away. they knew nothing about what had become of aquarius; their king was silent, leo could only shrug when someone asked him and sagittarius said he did not remember anything about the time when his key was broken, which was not all that surprising; it had to be a traumatic experience.

and revita was despairing, once more, because her cousin’s head rested heavy against his shoulder and  there was nothing she could do.  there was nothing he could do, either. he was not supposed to ask his summoner about what had happened, he was supposed to keep it together and keep pretending that nothing bad had happened. revita thus concluded that their king had never loved anyone or anything. a troubling thought.

what she could do was support her cousin, to put her own grief aside and just hold him, drawing  hopefully  soothing circles onto his shoulder with her thumb and indulge in the  ( likely unhealthy )  hope that any moment now, aquarius would return. it was not much and her hope hurt, but short of demanding an explanation from their king and risking punishment for insubordination, there was nothing she could do.

a sigh as she pulled scopio closer and held him tight. “ i wish she was here, too, ” she said softly, her hands stilling now that she was talking. she was missing aquarius, too, but she was not naive; she knew that scorpio’s pain dwarfed hers. and this was alright, it did not make her grief any less valid. it just meant that she knew better than to make any of this about herself. “ as much as it pains me to see you, to see everyone like this, i think it puts pressure on our king, pressure to end his silence. even he must know that this state can’t be sustained that sooner or longer, someone will break. ”

( had she any money to bet, she would put it on leo, determined to bear the weight of this on his own, something that had never worked out for him in the past. )

phantoms (marianas trench) sentence starters / accepting / @saharoshi

[saharoshi-blog]

god of journeys -  

before he was scorpio he was as alexius. a god. he was not a deity the people built temples for, nor did they sacrifice offerings to him - no, alexius, as old as he was, was a god of the people. & while he was not revered, he was respected. farmers, merchants, sailors, soldiers && wanderers alike prayed for his blessings. anyone who was to embark on the road, regardless of their reasons, had a chance at his protections. due to his wide, indiscriminate assistance - there were many cities that held festivals in his honor &&& his presence was not unheard of. 

he was not just liked by mortals either - alexius was a god well-liked among the divine kingdom. passive in drama, but firm in character && morals. friends with anyone from aion, the honor-bound god of the sun to chaila the superficial god of beauty. there weren’t many who could throw a bad word in his direction &&& even fewer who dared. his romantic partnership with Thalassa of the great three, certainly didn’t hurt either.