Said By A Stoner

This is a blog about the shit we hear stoners say. For now, we're updating just once a day. We're willing to take submissions!!

[saidbyastoner]

*me pretending to be an astronaut because I'm too high* Huston, the oxygen levels in this room are quite low

[saidbyastoner]

My voice feels like a balloon

[saidbyastoner]

I feel like drake and josh

[cnoonr-deactivated20170211]

ravioli filled with smaller raviolis

[saidbyastoner]

…. go on

[cnoonr-deactivated20170211]

ravioli filled with all ravioli that are not filled with themselves

[saidbyastoner]

Holy fuck

[saidbyastoner]

Mischief fucking managed, my dude.

[saidbyastoner]

Who's the one wizard You-Know-Who always feared? Frank Sinatra

[cnoonr-deactivated20170211]

ravioli filled with smaller raviolis

[saidbyastoner]

.... go on

[saidbyastoner]

Me: (friend) said you can finish the smarties but I think she took them home...

My roommate (in a guilty voice): she didn't take them home...

[saidbyastoner]

Mom: wake up, we're going to church

Friend: probably not

[saidbyastoner]

Canadians are attracted to flickering lights. That’s why they can’t drive; there’s too many distractions.

[saidbyastoner]

how to do physics: e=mc2 and use some fucking equations

[saidbyastoner]

my mouth just got weird

[saidbyastoner]

My town doesn’t have an ice cream truck. We have an ice cream 15 passenger van.

[saidbyastoner]

are you a chicken whisperer?

[saidbyastoner]

Always get a full breakfast.

[saidbyastoner]

You are genocide. You are a mass extinction event, riding around on the back of a saber tooth tiger, bashing people's skulls in.

[saidbyastoner]

I don't respect jobs, I just use them for money.