I have to admit that I have been crying and losing sleep over this article since last night, I'm also crying right now, hours after reading it again through Alex's Facebook wall. Maybe I shouldn't have opened this can of worms, and let them crawl all over my heart and mind at this time of the year, but it has been done and I'm counting on the hope that writing provides some form of catharsis and reorientation.
I would say that I felt offended and shocked when I first read it and quickly gave way to grief. Where is the centrality of Christ and the problem of Sin in Pope Francis' words? I cry because I feel that the Pope is sidelining Jesus and negating the fundamental Truths, the very reason why I became a believer: acknowledging that I am a sinful being whose good works cannot save my soul but only the faith in Christ can. No doubt that Christ has died for all to redeem all, including the atheists, but that does not mean that they have been redeemed and guaranteed a place in heaven with the Father. Just because an antidote to death has been invented does not mean that everyone will live forever, even for those who refuse to use it and let its effects work on a personal level.
I also cry because now that some of the atheists (the hardcore atheists actually do not care about what the Pope says, as I have realised from my conversation with Arvin last night. Which I think is true, because they do not believe in the afterlife to begin with), agnostics, and non-Christians heard from the Pope, they may think: oh yes oh well, just do good and I will go to heaven too, you don't need Jesus Christ after all (and Sin is ignored). And they are less likely to answer the call of reconciliation from the Father, who desires to have intimate relationships with his children through the Son, the only Way. As a Christian, I believe in what Christ has said, that no one comes to the Father except through Him, which also means that those who reject Jesus Christ will not go the the Father. I very much wish that my agnostic, atheist and non-Christian friends will go to heaven and many of them are very good people, but I also know that wistful thinking do not produce desired results.
I also cry because out of the three men I love the most in this world, one is a Catholic who happens to like the article, one is an agnostic who is alive, one is an atheist who is dead, and the article has provoked a lot of inexplainable thoughts and sentiments in me, in relation to them. I shall, however, make an attempt to explain what I think and feel. I want a future with the first guy because we share a consummate love (Sternberg, 1986); I desire to be his wife and the mother of our children. The differences in our beliefs with respect to Christianity is something that has been weighing on my heart before the beginning of our relationship, and I have been and will continue to be making an effort to explore Catholicism with the hope that maybe someday I will be a Catholic since we are all Christians and I'm not compromising on my faith in Christ. But there are very fundamental differences that cannot be brushed aside, differences I cannot reconcile. Although I will not leave the relationship and forsake a future with him just on the grounds of our differences in beliefs like what a handful of my fundamentalist friends have explicitly urged, I do worry for the implications of living with such differences, especially with kids in the picture. Sweeping things under the carpet is something I tend to do, since I'm rather conflict-averse, but it is not sustainable and ideal.
My grandparents are good men, not perfect but very very good men whom I deeply love and respect. I have been reaching out to them with the Gospel but to no avail, I'm still hoping and praying for my maternal grandpa who is still alive though, that he may come to receive salvation and redemption through Jesus Christ. How I wish that redemption comes with doing good and bypassing that miraculous leap of faith! Then again, how could you try to comfort me with a false hope and words that contradict the Word of God, Pope Francis!
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