pax

ed/vent blog active as of april ‘21 16 - any pronouns pro recovery, fat positivity, body positivity

[sailorsk1nny]

take care of yourself!

🪲 if it’s hard i understand. you’ll get there!!! i love you so much. you are always welcome here. 🪲

[sailorsk1nny]

am i the only person who doesn’t like th1nspo or even idolizing thinness? of course i idolize thinness to an extent, but only in contexts relating to myself. my disordered eating is more self harm than anything else. giving myself purpose, a goal i guess. th1nspo just makes me really uncomfortable because it feels invasive. of course in my head i envy people’s appearances, criticize my own, compare. but it feels fucked up and selfish to post pictures of someone else’s body and potentially screw up how they see themselves. i don’t want to make my self destructive behavior and warped mindset anyone else problem, especially other people with eating disorders.

[sailorsk1nny]

true!!!

[sailorsk1nny]

i thought i could maybe hop out of this little episode of disordered eating then i get put on Wellbutrin and have to measure my body fat percentage for health class

[sailorsk1nny]

fasting tomorrow for sure

[sailorsk1nny]

me when i lie

[sailorsk1nny]

my eating disorder has entered “binge and binge and binge and binge and don’t starve or purge” territory because im just so depressed that my only comfort is food. whatever eating disorder i have its not a sexy one and i want to kill myself

[sailorsk1nny]

i feel absolutely nothing and i just keep putting on weight im gonna go binge

[cheaphalloweencostume]

me: I should do laundry

my brain: you should die

me: touché

[sailorsk1nny]

fasting tomorrow for sure

[sailorsk1nny]

been binging uncontrollably i want to kill myself

[sailorsk1nny]

sleeping is my favorite meal

[sailorsk1nny]

had a wittle itty bitty suicide attempt today and then i binged so sorry i’ve been ia lmao

[sailorsk1nny]

goodnight guys. remember that drink water is important and to eat if you can. if you can’t, that’s okay. i love you all the same. be safe, my dears. 💞💞💞

[sailorsk1nny]

lost three pounds in a day 😏

[sailorsk1nny]

my dad finished off his booze 😐

[sailorsk1nny]

just had 300 calories and my body thanked me so hard. shit felt like nicotine.

[sailorsk1nny]

what’s a food that will ALWAYS taste better than skinny to you?