come to me let me enfold you

asenora on ao3 | bashing disrespecter | one of the few people in the world who ships snape/voldemort

[saintsenara]

hello! welcome!

i’m eithne (she/her) and i write as asenora on ao3 [you can find out why i chose this pen-name here]. i'm thrilled that you're here!

i'm a northern irish millennial harry potter fan-fiction writer who writes for multiple ships and characters. the masterpost of my writing is here, or you can browse:

by ship | by character | by era | metas

fics i recommend can be found here

things i have to say about writing can be found here

my current works in progress are:

one year in every ten

harry potter/tom riddle explicit | 200k words and counting no major warnings apply

a decade on from the battle of hogwarts, after ten years of the wizarding world thinking it’s safe, a serial killer emerges, leaving a trail of dead women in his wake. each of the bodies bears a gruesome, encoded message for the aurors… a message which - once unscrambled - claims the dark lord has risen again. in the face of the mystery, the order of the phoenix is hastily reformed, ron is stoic, hermione is scared, ginny is getting very good at putting on a brave face, death eaters who were never caught are getting ready to crawl out of the woodwork, and the ministry of magic has plenty of secrets of its own for kingsley to worry about… all harry wants is to distract himself from a marriage falling apart at the seams. all lord voldemort wants is to get out of the horrible place between life and death. so much so that he’s willing to agree to help his old enemy solve the case. or so he claims.

masterpost

scylla and charybdis

severus snape/lord voldemort explicit | 15k words and counting graphic depictions of violence | major character death

severus snape is looking for somewhere - anywhere - to belong. he makes the wrong choice.

masterpost

subluxation

rodolphus lestrange/percy weasley mature | 10k words and counting major character death

percy grows up surrounded by a happy family; yet his belonging is not total. percy leaves his family for the ministry of magic, but the dislocation is not total. percy stays in his job once the ministry is seized by the death eaters, and his resistance is not total. percy returns to his family in the shadow of grief, so his readmittance is not total.

percy falls in love. and that is total.

the war of the roses

sirius black/severus snape explicit | 7.5k words and counting no major warnings apply

a butterfly flaps its wings and sirius does not go to the department of mysteries. what follows from that twist of fate is a story about the long, destructive shadow of a schoolboy rivalry; a story about surviving, and how surviving is sometimes more difficult than dying; a story about the fragility of beauty, the gentleness of hope, and the value of choice.

it is also a love story.

masterpost

[saintsenara]

Your fics help me escape from everyday life. They take me and my thoughts into another world. I need that and can feel how much it lightens me. It’s wonderful. I hope you’re doing well. xo

[saintsenara]

the war of the roses - a snippet

sirius black/severus snape explicit read here

the dark mark is erotic, change my mind.

Snape turns his left arm at the elbow - slowly, deliberately; like someone signalling to a partner that a dance is about to begin.

Sirius can’t pull his gaze from the careful revelation of the secret skin of Snape’s inner wrist - from the contrast and chiaroscuro between the sun-forsaken paleness of Snape’s skin and the tattoo inked atop it. Even in the cleansing white of the moonlight, the Dark Mark is the colour of dried blood. The skull stares back at him with hollow, soulless eyes.

Sirius understands.

There are to be no excuses, that’s what Snape is telling him. It is Halloween, and the moon is high in the sky, and if Voldemort had been successful on another Halloween night - if Lily hadn’t refused to get out of the way, if Sirius hadn’t known in his bones that something was wrong - then the very same skull would have glittered odiously over Godric’s Hollow. Wormy has an identical brand on his skin - Wormy watched James and Lily die with an identical brand on his skin. Lucius has one. Roddy does. She does. Reg did, once upon a time. All the Death Eaters do.

Because Sirius is going to bed with a Death Eater. If he wraps his lips around Snape’s cock - which he would like, which he wants more than anything - the blood pulsing beneath his tongue will have Voldemort’s poison flowing within it. He’s not allowed to wake up tomorrow, picture the disgust on James’ face, and decide that he was misled. Snape is making that clear. Snape is keeping him honest, forcing him to acknowledge that he knows exactly what he’s doing, and with whom.

Sirius lifts Snape’s forearm towards him. Thin lines of faded scars fleck the skin. They are relics of Snape’s mill-town childhood: he added to the collection each summer - there would be more lines, new lines, still purple and not fully healed, every September; you would be able to see them in Potions, when he rolled up the sleeves of his robes. The Mark is etched over them. Sirius wonders whether Voldemort told Snape that he was making himself anew. Sirius wonders whether it hurt.

He takes one last look into the eyes of the skull and covers the Mark with the palm of his right hand. Its basilisk-glare is blinded; it has no power, not here. Snape’s nakedness does not belong to Lord Voldemort.

It belongs to Sirius Black.

[saintsenara]

the war of the roses - a snippet

sirius black/severus snape explicit read here

the dark mark is erotic, change my mind.

Snape turns his left arm at the elbow - slowly, deliberately; like someone signalling to a partner that a dance is about to begin.

Sirius can’t pull his gaze from the careful revelation of the secret skin of Snape’s inner wrist - from the contrast and chiaroscuro between the sun-forsaken paleness of Snape’s skin and the tattoo inked atop it. Even in the cleansing white of the moonlight, the Dark Mark is the colour of dried blood. The skull stares back at him with hollow, soulless eyes.

Sirius understands.

There are to be no excuses, that’s what Snape is telling him. It is Halloween, and the moon is high in the sky, and if Voldemort had been successful on another Halloween night - if Lily hadn’t refused to get out of the way, if Sirius hadn’t known in his bones that something was wrong - then the very same skull would have glittered odiously over Godric’s Hollow. Wormy has an identical brand on his skin - Wormy watched James and Lily die with an identical brand on his skin. Lucius has one. Roddy does. She does. Reg did, once upon a time. All the Death Eaters do.

Because Sirius is going to bed with a Death Eater. If he wraps his lips around Snape’s cock - which he would like, which he wants more than anything - the blood pulsing beneath his tongue will have Voldemort’s poison flowing within it. He’s not allowed to wake up tomorrow, picture the disgust on James’ face, and decide that he was misled. Snape is making that clear. Snape is keeping him honest, forcing him to acknowledge that he knows exactly what he’s doing, and with whom.

Sirius lifts Snape’s forearm towards him. Thin lines of faded scars fleck the skin. They are relics of Snape’s mill-town childhood: he added to the collection each summer - there would be more lines, new lines, still purple and not fully healed, every September; you would be able to see them in Potions, when he rolled up the sleeves of his robes. The Mark is etched over them. Sirius wonders whether Voldemort told Snape that he was making himself anew. Sirius wonders whether it hurt.

He takes one last look into the eyes of the skull and covers the Mark with the palm of his right hand. Its basilisk-glare is blinded; it has no power, not here. Snape’s nakedness does not belong to Lord Voldemort.

It belongs to Sirius Black.

[augustuscaesarsalad]

It’s his birthday!

[saintsenara]

self soothing by coming home after a long day and scrolling through your meta tag ngl, thank you for doing what you're doing

[saintsenara]

this is such an incredibly specific thing to appreciate but i love the way you talk about trains and public transport in your writing! it's very nice attention to,detail and i always do a little internal cheer when it's a train line/station i've been to :)

after i was diagnosed with adhd and finally got on the ol' lisdexamfetamine mesilate, i had a religious experience in birmingham new street station when i realised what it's like to travel when you're capable of things like "looking up where you'll need to change in advance" and "being on time".

[anyone who has ever been to new street will probably find the idea of anyone enjoying their time there insane, but there we are.]

as is the adhd way, getting distracted from other parts of the fic writing process by going down rabbit holes about the railway system of northern scotland is my jam.

and as is the northern irish way, absolutely loads of people i know live in liverpool, and loads of my friends were at uni there. i was further south, and i became very familiar with the train from [university town], change at birmingham for lime street. the trip the boys take in the abraxaid was written from personal experience of an absolute belter of a train journey. once an office party getting on at stafford gave me a bag of cans.

[saintsenara]

I'm stuck in an airport overnight and rereading the war of the roses and I've finished up til the most recent updates of subluxation and one year in every ten and I haven't been commenting every chapter (loaded entire fic; planes) but you are such a masterful writer. your style is classically artful and I am thirsty for it

[ernest-pamphilow]

alice cooper -- poison

[greens-your-color]

This is exactly how i imagine @saintsenara ‘s war of the roses

[saintsenara]

what the hell, sure

[atalienart]

Lupin I did for owlcrate :)

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[saintsenara]

🫂 I follow Scylla & Charybdis and War of the Roses and I adore both stories (and both characterizations of Snapes). I believe you have stated in the past that the Snapes from those stories do not have the same level of sexual experience and particularly WotR Snape has not been sleeping with Voldemort (or Sirius‘ brother for that matter) - but assuming this was the same Snape, how would that have affected the story?

thank you very much for the ask, anon. loved this one.

🫂how would the story have changed if you wrote it for [this pairing] instead?

well... the snape of scylla and charybdis would one hundred percent go there with sirius. that's established fact.

but it would be nowhere near as sweet.

the dynamic between snape and sirius in the war of the roses depends on equality. they're equally lonely, they're equally ravaged by grief, they're equally trapped between voldemort's unstoppable force and dumbledore's immovable object, they're equally sexually repressed... they're two sides of the same tarnished coin.

and this means that neither of them has any real power over the other. while the snape of the war of the roses likes to claim that he's infinitely more important than sirius - because he's a spy while sirius is on house arrest - this is pure cope. sirius is trapped in grimmauld place because dumbledore's plan to stop voldemort requires him to be. snape is out risking his life for exactly the same reason.

but the snape of scylla and charybdis has a level of agency in his role as a spy that the snape of the war of the roses - and, frankly, the snape of canon - doesn't, due to his relationship with voldemort.

all versions of snape do clearly make an active choice to work against voldemort - dumbledore may dangle his role in reporting the prophecy over his head, but dumbledore clearly doesn't have to force or threaten him into becoming a member of the order. and all versions of snape do clearly know slightly more about dumbledore's plan to defeat voldemort than the rest of the order, who are kept at arm's length from the more mystical side of things and whose resistance from order of the phoenix through to deathly hallows remains focused on the political machinations the increasingly prophecy-obsessed voldemort transparently doesn't care about.

but, despite this, the snape of canon/the war of the roses is still pretty much the equal of any other order member - sirius included - in terms of what he knows about the war and how dumbledore [and voldemort] intend it to unfold.

the snape of scylla and charybdis, in contrast, actually knows voldemort. it's not just that he loves him - it's not just that he suspects that, as incapable as the dark lord is of allowing such an emotion to unspool, his feelings are at least a little bit reciprocated - it's that he's fighting against lord voldemort the man, while everyone else - dumbledore included - is fighting against lord voldemort the maniac. and - as we have seen - this snape makes the active choice to keep the dark lord's intimate secrets.

this ends up giving him a modicum of power in his relationship with dumbledore and with the rest of the order. and his relationship with regulus does the same thing. the snape of scylla and charybdis likes to use the idea that he knew regulus better than his own brother as a way of soothing his grief over his death, asserting dominance over sirius [even if only in his own mind], and emphasising that the order has no idea how voldemort thinks, his organisation functions, and his death eaters behave.

or, the snape of the war of the roses doesn't know regulus any better than sirius does and doesn't know voldemort any better than the average death eater [and certainly doesn't know him as well as dumbledore does]. the snape of scylla and charybdis knows him better than anyone.

this would give him a power over sirius in the war of the roses that isn't there in the story as it's written. snape and sirius have ended up together because they're both just trying to stay afloat and claw some comfort and affection out of the horror of the war. if snape possessed the knowledge that he does in scylla and charybdis, he would be having a very different experience of the war which would either alienate him from sirius or, more likely, be something he used to control him.

and this would be compounded by the fact that the sirius of scylla and charybdis is deep inside a locked and bolted closet, while snape has not only been able to accept and label his sexuality but has extensive sexual experience with men, and clearly finds sirius' own inability to admit what he is contemptible.

in the war of the roses, in contrast, while snape has managed to get his kit off maybe two more times than sirius has, the two of them are going through the process of understanding their sexuality and exploring sex and intimacy and so on together. it's all very tender and sweet.

with a different snape, it would not be.

[saintsenara]

ok but please expand on what you don't like about HR because I fear I'll agree 👀

i fractured my wrist after falling over while ice-skating and it traumatised me.

[saintsenara]

and look. i love an objectively mid piece of media as much as the next girl but it's just that wee bit too objectively mid for me...

[saintsenara]

ok but please expand on what you don't like about HR because I fear I'll agree 👀

i fractured my wrist after falling over while ice-skating and it traumatised me.

[saintsenara]

what do you think of heated rivalry?

i'm glad you're all having fun.

[the-bar-sinister]

They would not go on cute dates and raise children, they would punch each other in the throat and have bad sex on the couch.