Zacharias narrowed his eyebrows as his cousin started to laugh, making him sigh a little at first before realising that it was better to laugh than to cry in times like this.” That’s honestly something we both should do. Now.” he then teased, trying to loose himself up a little; no matter if he suceeded or not, he had tried and he hopes she does the same- after all even if the war outside is done, it doesn’t mean that the war inside their minds, their houses would ever be over. One thing he has always been sure- no matter what happens, he will protect Sally and have her by his side. although, he had a complicated personality- so when she grabbed his robes into her fists, he sighed again- more gentle this time and took her closer by the waist towards him. He knew she’d never cry- he wouldn’t either; but, this was the closest they’d ever to get to crying and it was enough for the two of them. it was enough, it had always been.
“ You might have something for me? I’ve found one witness or maybe two, yes…but, other than that- unfortunately, I’m on the loose.” he let his lips up into a smile as she pecked his cheek, feeling for the first time like it was alright and that no matter what happens, they’ve got each other’s backs. “ So, tell me Sal-” he broke the silence again.”What do you have in your mind?”
She expected him to be on the loose a little, but when she heard he had only two witnesses, she pulled away even more, shaking him a bit. “Zacharias, what the hell? Why are you this unprepared? Do you want to leave me without you?!” Sally caught a grip of his hand and squeezed it a bit. “Where you ever going to tell me you are not prepared enough?! Melrin’s beard, Smith!”
A deep inhale filled her chest with oxygen, suppressing her inner burst now. As she slowly exhaled, the panic in her eyes started to simmer down.. “Look, since the Holiday ended I spent all my free time in the library. I just...I can’t afford going to prison and let Azkaban separate us, so I had to fight the best I could. You know that my case if a little bit more difficult, so I started to panic and that panic led me to ...doing some research. I’ve read a lot of magical law, studied different cases that took place along time and....I found nothing. I mean, even if I did, I didn’t have the resources to contact those lawyers - I can’t rely on my mother anymore and my father is...Merlin’s knows where. But....one night Astoria Greengrass caught me reading those books in the common room. And...well, you know little Greengrass, she wanted to help..... Her grandmother was one of the best lawyers specialized on dark wizards. And she is not only gonna take my case, but both our cases!” A triumphant vibe echoed in her voice, as her eyes started to sparkle. “ You just need to meet her for her to tell you the detail, relate her your story, even if by now she already knows our record, and...yeah...it’s good news, Zach, it’s good news!”
“I honestly don’t know why people think that someone sitting by himself in an empty courtyard with their nose in the papers make for a great conversation but they do. Perhaps it’s my charm that attracts them.” He let out a soft chuckle at his last statement. At times like now, he doubted his charm could get people to like him. It will take Potter himself to attest to Blaise’s good qualities before anyone would trust him. The trials had a way of amplifying everything - hate, anger, and mistrust ran rampant.
He shrugged. He didn’t ask for his relationship with his mother to be that way but it was what it was. He took comfort in knowing that whichever bloke captured his mother’s attention was able to keep an eye on her while he was at school. “I don’t like strangers poking their noses into my familial issues, you know how that is. Plus being Hogwart’s most hated is a pretty good way to ensure you can sit alone. So, how is you family? Namely, your brother?”
Sally chuckled alongside him, agreeing on that. “ That’s the only reason, I am telling you. This was exactly why I asked you how come you are alone here, no girl standing in line to talk to you. You’re getting old, Zabini!” Her friend was pretty much known for his charm. Last time she remembered Zabini cutting a dash was at the Heroes’ Ball. How could she ever forget that, though? The little Natalie’s face was absolute magnificent.
“Yes, I know and I understand you perfectly. Now I am sorry that I disturbed you, but I know you love me too much not t forgive me. But...Just... enlighten me a bit, Blaise, will you? Most hated?! Where is this coming from? I genuinely think you are the most loved at this point - look at us, most of the Slytherin on trial. Draco is now safe but he was as well on trial, so you pretty much the only one left. I mean, you could be hated for breaking too many hearts, but otherwise...has something happened that I am not aware of yet?” If there was anything happening to Blaise, Sally wanted to know so she can be by her friend’s side.And in all honesty, these two didn’t really talk much lately so her worried attitude was justified.
“My family...is okay, I guess. I don’t know. I...” She wanted to tell Blaise how her mother disowned her, she wanted to tell him how her dad left her mother, how she had no idea where her dad was and so on, but...that was another subject pretty difficult and also too fresh for her to talk about. “But, my brother, as you like to call Zacharias, is good. He is on trial, as well, but we stand together, we fall together. With the only specification that he will not fall, no matter what!”
Tracey could not help but laugh at Sally’s little dramatics. Sometimes she wasn’t sure if the girl was kidding or not. Growing up with the girl in the same house for nearly eight years now, and she still couldn’t figure her out at times. Though now she assumed Sally was in fact joking. As the girl expressed about her freedom… or not freedom, she listened. “The Dominican Republic’s a nice vacation after graduating from Hogwarts. And cut it out, Smith. I’m sure you’ll get off the hook eventually… or hopefully, at least! It’d be a shame to go back to the Dominican Republic without someone to bring back to the Davis’s. Mom and dad, and oh shoot–my abuela will love you for sure. She might like your humor.” She laughed a bit at the last part, hoping it’ll remove the tension of talking about Sally being free from trials. “Pure bloods are the crowning jewel of the wizarding world, but all that’s changed now, hasn’t it? Shame, really. I’m sure you’ll all pick yourselves back up, once the whole Death Eater affiliation thing clears out. People will grow out of it.”
The girl nudged her friend playfully and grinned at mentioning Helga and Salazar having babies. “Hey, it’s possible. The sweet fair maiden and the notorious gentleman fall in love. Classic love story. We never really know. But I know you got some good in you, Smith. Maybe not morally good, but some good, still. Conscience. A soul. Whatever you want to call it.” Tracey rolled her eyes playfully. Sally always did like to point out that she wasn’t exactly a good person, but she wasn’t an evil person either. Kinda somewhere in between, if anyone asked her. She’s learned to accept that throughout the years of being classmates with Sally. “But above all, you’re a loyal and good friend. I know I joke about things a lot, but I mean that from the bottom of my heart. You deserve some pretty nice things in life, Smith.”
At this point in the conversation, Tracey laughed at Sally’s say on convincing Astoria about Draco. It did sound a lot like Tracey, yeah. “I’m happy to have helped, even if it was in the most destructive and disastrous way possible.”
Tracey raised her brow at Sally explaining how the battle with Dolohov went, and she sighed a bit when the witch asked if she’d seen it. “Saw it? Oh, yeah. I mean, that’s some pretty heroic stuff if you ask me. Saving those kids. I wish I could have done that myself, but I wanted to be on the battlefield where lots were needed the most. But you know…” She grinned this time. “You could use that as defense. Could show you switched sides at the last minute, or switched to neutrality–whichever floats your boat the most.”
“Your abuela? Is that your dog...?” asked Sally smiling curious. Of course she had no idea how it meant grandmother - Sally had nothing to do with Spanish, or French, but she knew a bit of Italian and in Italian, grandmother was called nonna. Praise Blaise for all the holidays spent at his Manor. “But I will definitely take the offer if everything ends well. And from Dominican Republic, I shall visit all the Europe, somehow...I need to escape England for a bit.” Sally tangled her figers under her chin and continued on a very sleepy tone, somehow ired. “Yeah, well this pureblood matter will never go back to what it used to be - the damage is done.It will only degrade itself. But I don’t really care- I never cared too much about blood statuses anyways.”
As Tracey began emphasizing the fact that Sally had some good withint and all those ramblings she’d heard before, the girl rolled her eyes, but the smile on her lips gave the Latin girl a hint that Sally didn’t mean to disrespect her words. It was that lately everyone tried to tell that to her and it always sounded like being the way she was, was a bad thing. Sally liked herself, the one she was now, and so, these “I am sure there is good within” somehow bothered her. “C’mon, Davis, cut the crap. I might be not entirely evil, I give you that and moreover, that is not my intention,to become evil, but....you know, all these” you’re good deep down” kind of speeches leave me cold most of the times. I am myself - if people like it then, good for them, if not, that’s it.” Sally raised her shoulders in a shrug and poured herself some more coffee. “I give you, though, that I am loyal to me friends, that I respect them and I would sacrifice myself for the closest ones. But that’s a trait we all have when it comes down to some dear people in our lives. “ Even fi she tried to explain where she was coming from, the blonde still felt a bit guilty of her previous uttered words and so she needed to apologize to Tracey - after all, all the the Slytherin tried was to make Sally feel better. “I am sorry, Trace. But I just don’t have the nerves anymore. I treasure you and our friendship, don’t ever doubt it.” Sally reached over the table for Tracey’s hand and squeezed it gently as a sign she was serious about her last statement. In all honesty, she loved Tracey, but at this point, with the trial coming and people trying to pull her from side to side, it was difficult to accept anything related to this subject.
So Tracey saw the moment... As soon as the blonde realized it, she started to avoid her friend’s look. She was right, she could use it as a defense, but for that she needed Tracey... A very deep sigh escaped trough her lips as Sally was now preparing to speak. She felt it was too much to ask and in all honesty, she wasn’t the type to cry for help from others - not even from Zacharias. “Tracey...do you think you can come as a witness to testify for me....? I know it’s a lot to ask and I am really sorry to drag you into this mess - it’s just that I use everything that I have at this point and so...yeah”.
Anthony smiled and looked down at Sally’s words. It wasn’t that he thought himself to not be worth much, he just thought he was like everyone else and that he shouldn’t be praised for doing his job of being a decent human being. Anthony laughed a little bit. “No, not really. It’s actually harder getting compliments from Sue and people I know. I know that makes no sense but her- it is what it is.”
“You should be.” His answer was simple and not at all what she wanted to hear, he knew it. It wasn’t a threat at all, it was advise. Showing fear showed emotion which aided the credibility of a conscience. Most people thought in order to be a Death Eater, you had to be insane. Insane people didn’t feel bad about what they’d done, they didn’t feel at all. Just looking at Sally across the bar from him, he knew she could feel, even if she’d suppressed those feelings for a long time. “Choose to be afraid and give them what they want. I know you probably don’t want to, but you have to play your pieces here.”
Anthony smiled a little bit and shook his head. “You say you can’t be emotional, but what about just now?” He asked. “All those things you just said about me; that was emotional. That was caring, and it was genuine.” He adjusted himself in his seat. “Look, I know a lot about this stuff okay? I’ve wanted to be an attorney my whole life; I started reading case documents when I was 8. I’ve been mentored by my prosecutor godfather since I was 12. I’ve got a lot to learn about law but, I also know people. But most importantly, I know you. I know you can get yourself out of this. Some of the other people on trial, not so much. But I think you can. Your representative will help you, he has to. If its hard for you to find that emotion then he’ll evoke it. He’ll ask about Zach or Taylor or whoever.”
“I just want you to tell me the truth. Why don’t you just start from the beginning?”
Once again, Anthony’s words made Sally fall into a deep state of over-thinking. What if he was right?! What if she needed to act like that in order to actually make the jury free her of charges? But that was not her: Sally had always been honest, way too honest sometimes, cruelly honest. And now, in order to escape Azkaban she had to be exact the opposite? And lie about how she feels sorry and how she is up for redeeming acts and so on?! Well, according to Anthony’s words, yes, that seemed the way. And in all honesty, as the seconds were passing and Sally’s thoughts were wandering around for answers, it started to make a lot more sense. Astoria’s grandmother also told her that the attitude was important - she needed to stay confident, but show signs of redemption. She needed to stay strong but at the same time display humanity, Well, if that was needed in order for freedom to be granted, then that shall be done.
“That was caring, yes, I am human after all and I care about the closest ones, but...emotional...? I don’t know, Anthony. It’s just...I don’t know think that was emotional, that was just natural - I care a lot about people dear to me, but that doesn’t make me emotional. Breaking into tears would make me emotional. I.... what I try to say is that I don’t know if I can be the emotional you say I need to be.” Sally let her eyes fall back on the empty glass, but Anthony’s words once again crept in - this time, however, Sally was surprised! She had no idea Anthony has such a history in which it concerned magical law. Of course, it was curious how he knew so much, but then...the background of his family was even more “curious” now. Even if she was listening to him, her eyes never left that empty glass. She wanted to ask how does he know she can get herself out of this since he had no idea what her story sounded like, but Anthony was so confident with his words that his tone suppressed her will of opening her mouth. But then...there came the chance for her to tell him what she did. It was the most uncomfortable thing she was about to do since the war ended.
Sally trusted Anthony and he trusted his knowledge - especially now, knowing how passionate he is about magical law, and so she decided he deserved the truth. However.... it was difficult. It was difficult as fuck to go back through everything again - she was doing it at nights enough. The blonde decided to take it as it was just some exercise before the trial. She finally moved a little, fixing the bartender and asking for another alcoholic drink with the same elegant gesture from before.
“I don’t know where the beginning is. All I know is that suppression leads to madness. And this was my case. I don’t know if you’re aware of it or not, but me and Zacharias, we are descendants of Helga Hufflepuff, almost directly. Being a pure-blooded family AND having Helga’s name graved on us, it meant a lot of pride, even if we weren’t part of those Sacred 28. I am the first to break that line of descendants, both by behavior and attitude and also House. My whole childhood I’ve been told what to do and how to do it and to keep in mind that everything I do it goes with Helga’s name. Well, trust me, I pronounced Helga faster than “mom” and “dad”. Everything in my family was about Helga and how proud we should all be by our enormous ancestor’s prestige. I... just never felt this way. I’ve always been different, I’ve always broke the rules and went by mine. But my mother had been the one to decide for me for a very long time, as she was the most indoctrinated one. I fought against her for such a long time, I treasured the way I was and the fact that my genuineness was different that my family. Thing was....She slammed every burst out of mine, every word of disobedience. Zacharias, his dad and my dad were my supporters, but...from the shadows somehow. It was enough so that the little spark inside of me to live, no matter how the rest of my family tried to influence me. And so, when I left the 9 3/4 platform, my mother told me to “make Helga’s name proud, to wear my ancestor on the sleeve everywhere and to be a kind and nice Hufflepuff”. Hogwarts was, to me, my escaping ticket. I was so sure Hufflepuff won’t be my house, that I laughed in her face when she told me all these. And so...after a few days I owled her, praising Slytherins and how natural it felt being a Slytherin. She knew already, but it was a great pleasure to write that letter. And from that point on.... I was free. I was free to do everything that I wanted, to strive for everything that I didn’t have: respect and power.”
Sally paused for a bit as a lot of memories were now flooding her mind. Her full glass appeared while she talked, so now, the girl took a sip before actually going on. Her tone, however, changed - it was more like a whisper, she barely uttered the words, but the girl couldn’t actually talk about all these with loud voice. “And so my work began. I rapidly made myself known: first among Hufflepuffs as I used to bully them a lot, then amongst Slytherins and then amongst the rest. I’ve been in a lot of detentions, but I couldn’t care less. That was the worst they could do to me because, as you remember, I was a pretty good student. As I first set foot in the Slytherin’s common room. not only that I felt at home, but I swore to myself I am gonna be great and that I will need all the information in order to be like that - this was where my motivation came from, being grate and make an impact. It was finally my time to shine, I was finally free to be the one which I truly was, no borders, no people telling me I can’t. So, yeah, this was what suppression did to me. With years everything was natural - the self-taught mode got me far, achieving great skills and proving my talent, I had respect from most of the school, I had friends which I began calling family and great plans for the future. That fact that Voldemort returned didn’t mean much to me - of course, it was complicating everything, because I lived mostly during the times he hasn’t been active, but I had my targets and dreams, and I couldn’t care less about him and that he was killing around people.Then, little by little, the world went mad - he grew stronger, people feared him again, Potter was the hero and everything was about their confrontations and Voldemort’s regime. I was neutral, most of the time. Potter never caught my attention simply because I knew I could do the things he’d done, if put in such extraordinary conjunctures. I had the skills, the talent and the knowledge - but he had the spotlight in addition. And two good wizards with him. Voldemort, on the other hand, was inspiring terror by killing - well, yeah, that, to me, sounded more like the power I wanted, compared to what Potter did, but again, I stayed put, neutral. I had always been interested in politics, probably because of this hunger for power, but never really intended to become great so I can kill people. However, Voldemort’s regime seemed like a momentarily stage to me, a chance maybe. So when the 7th year began, my neutralness shifted gear a bit. I wanted to use my skills, I wanted to fight, I wanted to be there, where everything was happening, not in a school, thinking whether they will murder us or not. I had foreseen, as many, I guess, that a battle would take place and so I knew that if I wanted to survive I had to practice being in the light of deadliest curses. Plus, it was a wonderful way to exercise all that I gathered up in my knowledge bag all these years. And so, I firstly got affiliated with the Carrows, running some torture sessions. Then, I wanted more - still it wasn’t enough for me. Cruciatus became a reflex. So I went to them, telling the siblings I want to get to the Malfoy Manor and affiliate with the Death Eaters, as a strong support of Voldemort - which I wasn’t really, but at the same time it didn’t feel uncomfortable to be under his regime. The Carrows told me that I was lucky I had skills and proved to have a lot of potential, because otherwise my audacy and impudence, to come and talk to them like that, would have resulted in ME being the one tortured. And so, they did. I ended up at the Malfoy Manor in January, last year. With Zacharias’ father’s status, being a Death Eater, I somehow managed to go on raids with them. I didn’t return to Hogwarts until two days before the final battle. Those months spent with the Death Eaters and under Voldemort’s orders had been a lesson this life will never ever grant to me again. I saw death every day, I tortured people and I fought for my life - Dolohov and Greyback tried to kill me a few times as they never believed my affiliation. Thank Merlin for all those private dueling practices during my years at Hogwarts - my reflexes were pretty good and I managed to get back to Hogwarts alive. Alive, but damaged as fuck. Here again, knowing when they will attack and how they will attack, I was given special orders not to tell a word, but to take the pulse of the school before the attack - Well, I did so and I also told Zacharias everything and so I managed to convince him to leave the school as soon as the battle begins. I was put again by the Carrows to run some tortures, but this time....bloody hell, Anthony, it was awful. I couldn’t do it anymore. I mean, I did it, but it ripped me off inside. That was the moment in which I realized I will never be a killer, I will not live me life as one. That was the moment I shifted gear again, going back to my neutrality. The battle began shortly after my realization. I didn’t fight for them, neither for Potter - I fought for what was right for me. At some point, I found Dolohov on the corridors - he was aiming at a group of children, they were all around 3rd to 5th year, trying to escape through a secret passage. I had to act, that I knew. And so...I did, I stopped him and told him he is needed outside, where the main battle took place. I thought he believed me, but it turned out he didn’t, obviously, because as I didn’t have him anymore in my visual field, I began helping those kids to escape faster. He jumped from somewhere and attacked me - I was sure that was my end, because I was tired and unfocused and...yeah. “
Sally stopped again, thinking that all her life rolled before her eyes in those moments as she tried to prepare herself for the end. All these words that came out of her mouth when relating everything to Anthony were the usual speech she’d gave to her later at night, but with less subjective facts.” I was hit by his first Cruciatus, as I was paying attention to those kids that were now almost out of sight. During those months away from Hogwarts, I endured a few Curciatus curses and so, when this came, I resisted it somehow - I don’t know how that happened, but I managed to bombard a wall, while resisting to it, that it blocked the passage through which those children escaped instants ago. This infuriated Dolohov as hell and he hit me again with a Cruciatus curse, which I couldn’t resist anymore.Everything stopped there for me - it felt like that was it, I was resigned with the thought I was going to die and I almost refused to fight, but....a spell lightened right by his head and so I found one instant in which he didn’t pay attention to me and then I hit him with his own curse, which is said it can kill. Well, he didn’t die of my hand, even if I wanted to end his life on the spot. Instead, I rushed outside to join my friends. Later on, I found out Flitwick took him down and now he is in Azkaban. The rest of the battle I fought alongside my friends and when Potter was brought to us, dead, I froze. A few days ago, I realized I didn’t want to live my life as a killer, or as a Death Eater - that power could be achieved through other means - and so, I knew that if Voldemort prevailed, I had to run. Far. And continuously. Why? Because I knew once affiliated with him, he’d search for “his” people. I started already to think of countries in which I could hide and so on - you have no idea what happened into my head at that point. But then Potter raised! And he was the one to prevail, to my solace.”
Sally now brought the glass to her lips and drank the entire alcohol inside within a single gulp. “The rest is....what you can see.” Her eyes didn’t rise to meet his, she didn’t move at all, staring now at a point, somewhere, still being caught in the film still running inside her mind.
Th last thing she wanted was to be interrupted from her moment of silence. The last thing she wanted was to run into a person who was on trial for war crimes. But you didn’t always get what you wanted and she found herself looking up at an exasperated Sally Smith and it took everything in her not to groan.
It was the dark side that put her in her current sorry state and being visually reminded of that fact did nothing for her mood and disposition. Sure, she may not have wanted to see the other girl sent to Azkaban, but that didn’t mean that she wanted to run into her at the library.
Romilda looked around the library, noting the other empty seats and desks that were spread around the room and ooked up at ally in disbelief, “You are aware that there are about..five other empty desks just as good as this one, right?”
Of course she had to make things difficult...and more interesting. Sally breathed in deeply, changing her position as her arms crossed onto her chest. “You are well aware that I had a reason to come straight here and not to any of those other free spots, right?! Vane, just, please, let’s keep things simple and find yourself another spot - you can definitely choose from a large variety. “
Sally could have found another place, but she wasn’t the one to just listen to someone else’s words and obey them. Of course, she liked her spot and so on, but it wasn’t this the reason she refused to move- it was the stubbornness inside of her and the need for everything to be just as she wants it. “Plus, not to be mean, or so, but I’d rather occupy that place to study while you were occupying it to sleep. You don;t look really good, I give you that, but that doesn’t entitle you to take other’s place and sleep in the library.”
“I wanted to prove a point. And it didn’t involve the war, not the battle or anything that came before it.” The answer was simple, so simple, it surprised him how easy it was to speak. He had never actually tell people what he meant by doing so, besides his best friend and Romilda, because he wanted them to understand by themselves. After all, he displayed those pictures because he wanted everyone to understand that there was life before the blood and the horror, but it was over now - it would forever be, no one would ever be able to go back to that. He wished he could, he truly did, but for Dennis it would forever be impossible not only because of the time hiding or the never-ending fear, but also the fact that Colin was gone. For good.
“Does it matter?” He stared at her for a brief second, or two, really really stared at her. Her eyes were green, but right now they displayed too many emotions - more than he was expecting, more than some people who knew her for long had probably seen. Maybe that’s what it meant, to do something that had such an impact in someone; it meant he got to see things he shouldn’t, or wouldn’t it not because of it. “It’s not me in the photo, not me who did what you did. You’re the one to decide what happens to this picture.”
He looked at her once again before seeing the picture - he had watched it for so long, over and over, not only to figure out who it was also but also just because. His brother took it, Colin, one thing, one of the last things, maybe the last, he did when alive, breathing… it mattered. It mattered so much. Yet, it broke him to know he would never have the chance to take pictures of a new Hogwarts, a new magical world, one they wouldn’t have to fear so much.
“It’s yours if you want. Your call.” He held his breath and stretched his arm, willing to give her the picture. He had a copy of it, of course, but she didn’t have to know about it. “The only thing I ask you is to remember who took it.”
Sally listened to his words, even if they seemed smoke in the air. She was looking at Dennis and then at the picture, then back at the Dennis and back at the picture - this journey her eyes took every few seconds gave her a lot of instability and hesitance.
In all honesty, that picture meant a lot to her, as well, not only to Dennis. And it meant even more to her freedom. As Dennis stretched his hand with that picture in it in was the temptation within that drove Sally to take it. She didn’t want to.For some reason she was afraid to have it, but something inside her head, something very rational pushed her to take it as a surviving instinct - her freedom pretty much was influenced by it. Therefore, when the girl’s fingers finally touched it, tons and tons chills run down her spine - it was a strange feeling, but at the same time an empowering wave took over her body. Little by little, the trial seemed to become smaller in front of her, it wasn’t a scary monster anymore. Sally was slowly feeling more and more courageous with every day passing - since Astoria’s grandmother promised her things will be good in the end, both for Zach and her, Sally wasn’t really sure. But the odds seemed to have turned in her favor lately.
“... I can’t say much at this point, I don’t even know what to say, but...thank you. “ Her throat was dry and so she needed to clear up her voice before continuing. “I will remember who took it, forever. That boy still amazes us with his pictures, even today.” This was an attempt to lighten the mood a bit, but the line was so bad that Sally herself found it stupid. “I am so sorry for you loss, Dennis.” And with this, she put the picture in one of the books in her bag. No one had to see it, not before the trial and moreover, it was her treasure now. “I am gonna remember both your gesture and Colin.”
Talking to Sally was quite similar to what Orla imagined an interrogation to be. When Sally described herself as a ‘detective’ Orla couldn’t help but nod in agreement. She didn’t really know what she was talking about for the most part, but she had a lot to say, almost as much as what Orla had to say under normal circumstances. “I just -,” Orla tried to say, but Sally still wasn’t finished with her little speech. It seemed like she was done again, so Orla cautiously began talking this time around. “I just didn’t think it would be something he would be talking about with you. I’m not used to that. We haven’t really talked about feelings, I think that would ruin it all, wouldn’t it? If I start talking about feelings to you then you’ll probably go to him about it. Kind of embarrassing and I can embarrass myself unintentionally enough already.”
Orla felt like Sally was coming off quite harshly on her. She didn’t think she had done anything wrong here, but the more Sally spoke the more obvious it was to Orla that Sally just loved Zach a lot and maybe she wanted to know that Orla cared too. She did. Sally’s words brought her back to the letter she was going to send Zach over break about helping him. She needed to do that instead of being scared about opening up or that Zach might not forgive her radio silence over the break. There was a push in what Sally was saying. She could be there for Zach and maybe he could be there for her. “I know, you’re right. That’s why I said I don’t care what we are to each other, because being there for him right now is all that matters there.” She thought of her father and what he would think of her sticking next to someone that deserved her support. A smiling face with wrinkled eyes. “I can do it, I’m not backing off.” For once she didn’t ramble.
And once again, Sally raised her eyebrows in surprised, amusement and also annoyance at Orla’s words. “ Are you lecturing me now, anticipating my moves? How do you know what I will do or not?!” A sigh of despair deflated her chest. “Listen to me, Orla, This is a thing between me and you, understood? I am doing this not because I don’t have better things to do, but because I care about Zacharias more than I care about myself. I couldn’t care less what are you used to with, or that you two didn’t talk about your feelings, or that you’re embarrassing yourself. All I care about is his well-being. I don’t need you to tell me whatever your feelings are for him, okay, I agree with it, but listen to this, and listen to it carefully: play with him and I will be more interested in your not-so-well-being.”
Sally was a bit infuriated now simply because Orla didn’t seem to understand how serious was she talking. Plus these answers of hers, these vague, confidence-less answers, upset the blonde even more. The Ravenclaw simply treated that discussion like one of Sally’s trifles. Something in her next statement, about not caring what she is to him as long as she is there, didn’t really make Sally feel better. “ Don’t play with his feelings or with his mind, got it? This isn’t a threat. Just a little advice and you’d better keep that in mind. If you can do it, then good, but don’t make him suffer even more. Don’t mislead him!.”
Anthony put his hands up in surrender. “Hey, don’t look at me; I just do what they tell me to. It’s not my fault they don’t have their heads screwed on the right way.” He chuckled. That was something that had been on his mind lately, the trials. There was a lot of talk about them and the people who were involved. Most of it was negative talk about how they deserved what they were about to get, but while Anthony labeled himself as a just person, he liked to remain objective. He thought a big part of making the right call was to be unbiased. He didn’t know a lot about what these people did as he didn’t associate with them and tried to keep his head down for the majority of the year last year, so that was fairly simple. Still, he wanted to help Sally if he could. He knew he could make somewhat of an impact and actually use his status as an advantage for once in his life, all he would have to do is go up there and tell the truth.
Anthony nodded once. “Well, kinda. Yeah.” He agreed. He hated raise when it wasn’t due, raise just for effort. If it was the effort that deserved praise, then praise the effort and not the end product. But, it was more than that. “Even if it’s deserved and sincere I get uncomfortable.” He admitted, shrugging. “It’s hard to explain. I just don’t like being in the lime light, and I don’t think I’m that great at anything to deserve praise for it. I have no idea how to handle it either. I awkwardly say thanks most of the time, and let me tell you, that annoys Sue so much.” Anthony thought a little bit about what she said about jealousy. It was somewhat of a contradiction with him, he hated conflict and anything that could arouse that, but he did like it when people were jealous of him. It made him feel more confident. It didn’t matter whether they were jealous of work ethic, capabilities, friendships, Sue, or whatever. It made him feel empowered.
Anthony thoroughly believed that fear was innate and couldn’t be helped; even babies who had no sense of the world felt fear. But, if this belief helped Sally, then all the power to her because she found a loop hole. As she talked about the trial and her fate, he felt almost as if she was reassuring herself. Anthony had a hard time believing she wasn’t afraid of the outcome. “Being afraid of the consequences of what you’ve done and accepting responsibility for your actions are two completely different things.” He said softly, mainly to himself. Anthony set the glass back down on the counter and leaned in slightly closer to her so only she could hear. “I know you want to be strong and I respect that, but showing your emotions might actually keep you out of Azkaban.” Anthony knew quite a lot about law, he’d studied the court systems his entire life since that was his life dream. If there was one thing he knew about the very imperfect court, it was that law didn’t matter. “If you go up there and shed a few tears, show that you care about things and people like Zach and I, maybe play up whatever emotions and regret you have, you’ll be fine. From what I understand this is a jury trial, and the jury is looking for a story. I don’t know what you did or were forced to do, and you don’t have to tell me, but it might help if you did. I can help you, I just need to know what I’m in for.”
The blonde chuckled at his words about professors, shaking her head a bit, but choosing not to make any remark. However, when it come to compliments, the blonde agreed with him. “I definitely feel you, I am also bad at receiving them ( and when I give compliments, my words are simple and very few, this is how I know they are true). But maybe compliments are made just to be received, maybe we have to take them, enjoy them and do the same when other people deserve them. But I must tell you, Sue has all the right in the world to be annoyed by it, isn’t it easier to receive compliments from her, out of all people?! And just so you know, at this point I am also very annoyed. Don’t ever tell that you don’t think you are that great at anything to deserve praise for! Ever! If this is how you feel about yourself... then I understand most of where your words are coming for. But trust me, Anthony, this is the ultimate killer, low self esteem. No! Fuck no! You are amazing, and you made a series of choices in life that took you this far. You are freaking amazing!”
Sally’s speech was a very heart-felt one. She lived by these words herself. I mean in all honesty she was way more entitled to have such low self-esteem than him, but that wasn’t on her agenda, it never was. Sometimes, this kind of attitude “I worth a lot and I am just as important as whoever you want me to be to compared to” gave her motivation and power. It absolutely broke Sally’s heart, hearing words like Anthony’s. But, of course, her beliefs were...personal, no one had to actually follow them in any way. The blonde knew these stuff, but at least she could expose them so that others could consider them ...or not.
When the subject changed, the girl inhaled deeply. The things about fear, to Sally, were crystal clear - fear was a choice. Of course babies felt it, after all they had no power to control it, to understand it, but people did. People always have a choice, they have a saying it all this story. Everything was a choice, there were no one-way streets in life. “I am not afraid of the consequences, Anthony”, murmured Sally letting down her gaze, as she was now playing the that empty glass. “You’re right, those are two different things, but if I will be found guilty, then that’s it, I am gonna pay for my mistakes, no one put me do anything so I am not afraid. As long as I chose to do so.....I don’t have anything to be afraid of.” Hell, she wasn’t afraid of a possible negative outcome - she was angry that her choices put her on the verge to lose Zacharias, her Theo, Anthony, Taylor, Blaise, Tracey....Flora and Hestia.
When Anthony went even further, his words, little by little, became sharper, became heavier. Sally found herself being hit by them, out of nowhere and this was why when she heard him giving her all that advice, the blonde raised her eyes to him, frowning slightly. How come he knew this much?! But then, it hit her. Anthony’s final statement hit her hard. The blonde’s eyes widened, her heart was beating now twice as fast and her position shifted again so that her body could face entirely Anthony. He....just offered to be a witness?! To help her?!
The blonde’s parted lips now glued together, as no words could come out.Everything went silent at that point, there were no people in that bar and even the surrounding of it seemed drowned in smoke.From a relaxed talk, or a friendly debate, everything turned black in front of her eyes At some point, in the books she’d read, she observed that people that were more emotional had more chances to be freed of charges. But what if she couldn’t do so? She was a Slytherin, pretending shouldn’t something difficult to her, yet....at this point, she felt she couldn’t fake emotions. Her plan was to go out there, be herself, admit everything and hope her lawyer and her alibis to help her. “What if I can’t be emotional?”
The girl swallowed hard now. “Do you want to know...anything?”
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