Salthica

Is there a reason you’re interrupting me... Mid-soup?

[salthica]

peed my pants and then passed out, call me Rip Van Tinkle

[salthica]

Finally played the new tv station level in Outlast Trials. Whoever voices Erik/Bob needs a raise right now. That’s the first time I’ve ever actually felt bad completing a trial.

[salthica]

I approach heating tator tots in the airfryer with the confidence and hubris of a straight man going to a gay bar to meet hot women

[salthica]

‘This toaster has burned everyone else’s tots into small black cubes. Surely not mine though. I’m going to set the timer to twenty minutes and then walk away’

[salthica]

I approach heating tator tots in the airfryer with the confidence and hubris of a straight man going to a gay bar to meet hot women

[salthica]

Would you rather be stuck broadside of a ship or shipside of a broad?

[salthica]

Hate when I turn down my radio and the music actually gets quieter instead of staying at the same volume, but not hurting my ears

[salthica]

For the first couple of sentient years of my life, I thought Michael Bublé was my father. I lived with my father.

[salthica]

I liked the part in the new Superman movie where Lex Luther screamed bra sizes at his guy and his guy beat the shit out of Superman

[salthica]

”this part of the show is funny cause there’s this one guy we torture every chance we get” well. he’s my favorite and I would love for him to be happy for just one whole episode

[salthica]

This post is now ALSO about Kelly from Super Store. Dear LORD someone give that poor woman a break. I love her so much.

[salthica]

Trust my candles wholeheartedly, call that a votive confidence

[salthica]

taking 400mg of Benadryl and sprinkling top soil under my pillow to see if I can make the dirt man and the hat man fight

[benedryl-hat-man]

Nooo that’s my friend

[salthica]

My apologies Mr. Hat Man, it was insensitive of me to assume that you would fight him

[salthica]

It is just so interesting that the Venn diagram between Succession and Severance fans is just a circle

[salthica]

Save me niche Minecraft YouTuber from Canada.

NICHE MINECRAFT YOUTUBER FROM CANADA PLEASE

[salthica]

*In the tune of it’s a small world* It’s a small cock after ball.

[salthica]

Me: Yeah so I told him I’m just not ready for anything serious and-

my pet fnaf YouTuber, on the ground and convulsing: I need to beat every single five nights at Freddy’s game at once while blindfolded while not using the cameras or the doors or the-

me: Ignore him, he’ll stop in a couple of minutes

[salthica]

I’ve decided there’s no good term for starving but for water. Dehydrating isn’t right, neither is thirsting. So I’m starting to say bleckaled. Feeling bleckaled today. He bleckaled in that desert, etc etc, you get it.

[thebruhgieman]

Parched is right there

[salthica]

parched just doesn’t do it for me. You wouldn’t say I’m parched when you’re minutes away from dying cause it doesn’t sound serious enough. Also I’m not an upity 1960’s Brit. But what I am. Is bleckaled.

[thebruhgieman]

I would, in fact, say parched when I'm minutes away from dying, but that's just me.

[salthica]

I think our differences make us beautiful

[salthica]

I’ve decided there’s no good term for starving but for water. Dehydrating isn’t right, neither is thirsting. So I’m starting to say bleckaled. Feeling bleckaled today. He bleckaled in that desert, etc etc, you get it.

[thebruhgieman]

Parched is right there

[seasoned-tombstone]

Nah, I prefer a more active approach, desiccated, gasping for the liquid, twisting in my desire

I am not dehydrated, I am waterless, moistureless, I am the sponge that desires but cursed to be the rocks of a sauna that once water hits it steams right off leaving me as heated and dry as I was prior, ruminating in my defeat, longing for the sea

[salthica]

While I appreciate this, sometimes, when I’m not trying to give in to the constant cycle of yearning. I just want to be bleckaled. Is that so much to ask?