el

a 90's Black girl who loves coffee, Ella Fitzgerald and poems.

[sonderpoison]

COCO JONES Wins The Best New Artist at the BET Awards 2023

[zellah7]

bye i love this

[landunderthewave]

Man: Siri, what is 1 trillion to the tenth power? Siri: Calculation. The answer is one zero zero zero zero zero [continuing] Man: *starts beatboxing to the rhythm. Woman 1: *joins in* Woman 2: *starts singing to the rhythm*

[saltwatermocha]

a lil 2018 pep talk (pt. 1)

don’t be overwhelmed to start the new year with grand gestures, wild plans and expectations.

make your goals reasonable, realistic and measurable.

even if everyone around you has great, big plans, they are on their journey and you are on yours. you’ve heard this a million times over, but it’s true: don’t compare. don’t compare. don’t compare. no matter how difficult or unfair things may seem for you compared to others, this is your journey.

be kind to yourself, you’re doing the best you can.

be kind to your body, it’s doing the best it can. feed it. nourish it. show it love.

be kind to your mind, it’s doing the best it can. feed it. nourish it. show it love.

if you find that most new years’ resolutions are about changing and you want to resolve to love yo self just the way you are instead, do that, that’s amazing!

if you find that most new years’ resolutions are overwhelming and you want to take things slow and monitor yourself for a period longer a year, do that, that’s amazing!

give. yourself. time. you are more than enough.

[saltwatermocha]

let’s talk: consent

CW, TW: MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT, R*PE

‘No’ means ‘no’. But ‘yes’ doesn’t always mean ‘yes’.

Consent is one of the most important aspects of sex (the three C’s of sex: consent, comfort and contraceptives). And it’s a lil more complex than no means no. What if said person doesn’t say ‘no’? Is that a ‘yes’?

Consent should be:

voluntary: all parties should be willing

sober: a drunk ‘yes’ does not count as a ‘yes’.

enthusiastic: all parties should be interested and eager.

verbal: ask, ask, and ask again. “Are you sure you want to do this?”. Remember: clothes, the way a person looks at you, their relationship with you etc. are not words and don’t count as consent.

non-coerced: no forcing, physical or verbal, should happen! ‘No’ doesn’t mean “convince me”.

informed: all parties should know what they are saying “yes” to!

continual: ‘yes’ to one act, like kissing, doesn’t automatically guarantee ‘yes’ to another, like oral sex. ensure consent for all the actions!

active: ALL PARTIES SHOULD BE CONSCIOUS AND AWARE OF THEIR ACTIONS!!!!!!

honest: be true to yourself and make sure your partner is being honest and not conforming to any social pressures or “the heat of the moment”.

LACK OF CONSENT = ASSAULT. No but’s, no if’s, no questions about it. Make sure you check all these boxes before getting down. Consent is not the absence of a ‘no’.

’No’ means ‘no’ is also pretty straight-forward, but other things could mean ‘no’:

“Stop” means no

“Not now” means no

“I’m tired” means no

“I’m not sure” means no

Silence means no

Turning away means no

Crying means no

Passed out means no

Under the age of consent (usually 18) means no

Shoving you away means no

“Fuck you” means no (”fuck me” means yes)

Drunk or drugged means no

Screaming means no

“Don’t” means no

“I’m not ready” means no

“Not tonight” means no

Additionally:

Alone is not consent

A mini skirt is not consent

Being in a romantic relationship does not automatically guarantee consent every time - doesn’t matter if you’ve been dating one week, one month, one year, five years, ten years or even married. Being romantically involved with someone doesn’t give you a right to their bodies.

Being close friends is not consent

Cleavage is not consent

A sexy dress is not consent

Flirting is not consent

If you have to convince them, it’s not consent

Consent is not an assumption.

“Well, what did she expect going out like that? She was asking for it.”

She expected to have a great time with her friends and for people around her to respect her boundaries. And if she was asking for it, why couldn’t you?

Consent is not just sexy, it’s mandatory. You are not a child. Consent doesn’t need to be dressed up and sold to you. IT IS A MUST.

Plus: “I have blue balls” is not an excuse to pressure someone into sex. “I’m so horny” is not an excuse to pressure someone into sex. “I haven’t had some in a while” is not an excuse to pressure someone into sex.

Consent is not exclusive to sexes as well.

Men? Ask for consent.

Women? Ask for consent.

Non-binary? Ask for consent.

Asking for consent will not “ruin the moment” and anyone who thinks that is a piece of shit). Ask for consent before kissing. Ask for consent before going down on someone. Ask for consent before unwrapping the condom. Reassure them that if they want to stop, they can say so.

Imagine a world where consent is integrated into every aspect of life, not just sex. A world where you don’t force other people to do things they don’t want to do or that make them uncomfortable. A world where everyone respects other boundaries and no one gets angry when consent is denied.

JUST LIKE YOU DON’T OWE ANYONE ANYTHING, NO ONE OWES YOU ANYTHING.

[saltwatermocha]

things that don’t exist

Santa Claus**

Reverse racism

Black privilege

The same demonisation and ostracism of Christianity as in Islam after Christians perform acts of terrorism**

The Friend Zone

The same self-love trope and admiration of food-loving fat people as food-loving thin people**

The same admiration and glorification of mixed or light-skinned black people as dark-skinned black people in the black community**

Distinction of things only black people face from things all POC face**

Representation of dark-skinned black people, muslims, lgbtqa+ community in media and TV**

preaching how important mental health is in schools**

Embracement of introversion as much as extroversion**

Accurate, factual coverage and awareness on mental illnesses in the media**

Men fighting for men’s rights (including MOC, black men trans men, gay men, muslim men, disabled men, poor men, fat men, elderly men, male sexual assault victims etc) before women’s microaggressions and sexism is brought up - not just bringing up men when people are discussing women to shut them up, but because you actually care**

ADMIRATION, MODELLING GIGS, MEDIA REPRESENTATION, LOVE, GLORIFICATION OF POC WITHOUT EUROCENTRIC, CONVENTIONAL STANDARDS OF BEAUTY**

** DON’T EXIST AT ALL OR DON’T EXIST ENOUGH BUT SHOULD

actually, nevermind, I think Santa is real

[saltwatermocha]

PSA: listen up, my dudes

It’s just clothing.

WEAR WHATEVER YOU WANT. WHATEVER MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD, REGARDLESS OF THE COLOUR, TREND OR STYLE OF THE CLOTHING.

If you want to wear pink, purple, the entire rainbow, shimmery, glittery, gold: WEAR THAT.

If you want to wear crop tops, tight tops, durags (black men), beanies, halter tops, bandeau, dresses, ripped jeans: WEAR THEM.

If you want to wear moccasins, thigh highs, ballet flats, boots, heels: WEAR THEM.

If you don’t want to wear a certain type or colour of clothing because you genuinely don’t like the style, then don’t wear it and don’t you dare shame, patronize or insult those who do.

If you don’t want to wear a certain type or colour of clothing because “you’re a man and men don’t wear that” then you need to have a serious sit-down with yourself and figure out why your masculinity is so fragile that a dress would damage it but backwards baseball caps on the daily wouldn’t.

This has been a PSA.

[delicioustragedycheesecake]

Ok but moccasins and mukluks are native American garb so if you’re white it is best to get permission from natives before you wear them. Or buy them from a local native person that makes them 🙂

[saltwatermocha]

For real? Wow. I had no idea. I'm not a Native, I'm black. Definitely if you do not belong to the culture then you shouldn't wear it without knowledge or permission.

Thank you for enlightening me! 🌹

[saltwatermocha]

PSA: listen up, my dudes

It's just clothing.

WEAR WHATEVER YOU WANT. WHATEVER MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD, REGARDLESS OF THE COLOUR, TREND OR STYLE OF THE CLOTHING.

If you want to wear pink, purple, the entire rainbow, shimmery, glittery, gold: WEAR THAT.

If you want to wear crop tops, tight tops, durags (black men), beanies, halter tops, bandeau, dresses, ripped jeans: WEAR THEM.

If you want to wear sandals, thigh highs, ballet flats, boots, heels: WEAR THEM.

If you don't want to wear a certain type or colour of clothing because you genuinely don't like the style, then don't wear it and don't you dare shame, patronize or insult those who do.

If you don't want to wear a certain type or colour of clothing because "you're a man and men don't wear that" then you need to have a serious sit-down with yourself and figure out why your masculinity is so fragile that a dress would damage it but backwards baseball caps on the daily wouldn't.

This has been a PSA.

[saltwatermocha]

daily reminders: body posi

body positivity is not “an excuse to eat whatever you want”. you don’t need an excuse. that’s the whole point.

YOU ARE ALLOWED TO EAT. no,you do not have to make up for it tomorrow. you need carbs and fats and you shouldn’t have to conform to a diet culture that normalizes malnourishment.

being bigger or heavier than your significant other is COMPLETELY NORMAL AND FINE. for cishet women, you don’t need to be lighter and thinner than your man just so he can carry you and swing you around. that’s not a requirement for a relationship. for cishet men, you don’t need to be “buff”, “built”, “macho” or bigger than your s/o just so you can seem like “the man in the relationship”. that is not a requirement for a relationship or manhood.

if you’re not fat, you don’t get to decide what’s not fatphobic.

 you are not a “before” picture. and there is no “after”. there is only now. love your body now. there is no “body goals”. the only body that you should desire is your own.

 DON’T EVER GIVE UNSOLICITED WEIGHT LOSS TIPS, “HEALTH TIPS” OR SUGGEST DIETS FOR PEOPLE TO TRY OUT. STOP PERPETUATING AND LEGITIMIZING DIET CULTURE.

body hair, cellulite and stretch marks are normal and if you like “the natural look” on women’s faces but not on their legs then you need to figure out what the hell is wrong with you.

“you look amazing! have you lost weight/ added weight?” isn’t a compliment. if anything, it makes the person feel like the only time they are worth anything/ look good is when alterations are made to their bodies. just leave it at “you look amazing!”.

Poor women are just as beautiful as women who can afford to buy the things that our society says makes us pretty or cute.

the person you find the most beautiful is indeed very beautiful. the person you see in the mirror is indeed very beautiful. the presence of someone else’s beauty doesn’t mean the absence of your own. admire other people’s beauty without questioning your own.

[saltwatermocha]

“I love you. I love you so much. You make my heart want to jump out of my chest and burst into thousands of pieces until we finally realize that they all have your name. I love you in each and every way, from each and every angle, through each and every obstacle, past each and every dry text, against each and every time space and distance between. I love you even when I cannot love myself. My life is so much brighter and warmer simply because you are in it. Sometimes, I do not know how to express this. So I nod and smile and say "me too” when you say you love me because my tongue has shriveled up into dust, blown away by the breaths you take away from me. I love you. I love you more than a Facebook relationship status, more than a bouquet of roses on Valentines, more than birthday sex. I love you. And it’s burning my insides and consuming my mind. I cannot contain this storm of affections I have hidden behind the prairie that is my composure. My heart is exhausted from keeping this pokerface to prevent myself from the weights of being yours. I am in, deep. I am yours, deep.“ - I Was Too Afraid Of Suffocating You Under My Love

[starlightandtears]

Do you hate white people? Jw.

I hate each and every white person that’s shifted uncomfortably when they catch sight of me.

I hate the old white lady that called me scary last week in the airport during security checks.

I hate the white professor that stopped lecture to put her hand in my afro and exclaim how soft it was, prompting my peers to want a turn touching me.

I hate the Southern white men that stuck their head out of their window to call my mother “n****r”.

I hate my ex-friend who used me as her token colored friend when she was called out for her anti-Asian racism.

I hate the Xenophobic, racist white folks at my Dad’s job for abusing their power to withhold his money and shut him out.

I hate the drunk white girls who have touched and pulled my hair without permission.

I hate each and every white person that has asked me to teach them to dougie/twerk.

I hate every white person that has asked if I wanna be a rapper or play a sport.

I hate the old white woman that called me a “n****r prostitute” while I was minding my business and shuffling along to class.

I hate my Dad’s ex-boss for looking at my body in a sexual manner when I was 13 years old bc black girls don’t get childhoods. I hate him for doing it in front of my father.

I hate the white people that hate the Blackout bc they think it’s racist to celebrate yourself and they can’t fathom that not everything is for/about them.

I hate the white men that ruined my time abroad in Italy with verbal and sexual assault because I was a black girl.

I hate all the white girls that tried to write off the aforementioned assault as ‘no big deal’ because ‘at least I was getting attention’.

I could literally go on but the point I’m trying to make is that I hate white supremacy and if you actively uphold it in any way, shape, or form, then–well, you get the hint I’m sure.

No one ask me this surface level question ever again please.

[eearth-deactivated20180601]

Mic dropped so hard it left a dent in the floor

[saltwatermocha]

Not to mention the white people who say "it's not my fault I'm white!" when: 1. They actively inherited, misuse and take advantage of their white supremacy and white privilege, consciously or not. Instead of using that privilege to help and speak up for the marginalized. 2. BLACK PEOPLE HAVE LITERALLY BEEN SAYING THEY "HAVE BEEN BORN BLACK" FOREVER SO PLEASE STOP OBJECTIFYING AND DESEXUALIZING BLACK WOMEN, STOP DENYING US JOBS BASED ON SKIN COLOUR, GROUPING US IN A SCALE OF BEAUTY BETWEEN LIGHT SKIN TO DARK SKIN, STOP KILLING US, STOP ASSUMING THAT BLACK MEN ARE CRIMINALS, STOP TOUCHING OUR HAIR, STOP MAKING SNAP JUDGEMENTS ABOUT US BASED ON SKIN COLOUR…and there are still some people saying "BUT".

[saltwatermocha]

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you because you are the greatest piece of all. In a room full of art, I’d try to keep my hands away from you because the signs say not to touch the masterpieces. In a room full of art, I’d be satisfied gazing at you only because the room may be full of artistic treasures but you have all the world’s artistic treasures in you. In a room full of art, I’d get lost in you - I’d try to understand your textures and tones and I’d marvel with my mouth wide open and I’d look up and acknowledge the artist ‘You must have spent so much time on this one.

you will always be my muse

[saltwatermocha]

My fear isn’t that no one will love me. My fear is that someone will see me hurt - sobbing into my palms and see my red eyes and hear my sniffles and gasps; drenched in melancholic emptiness and questioning my existence - and want nothing to do with me. My fear is that someone will see me naked and bare - with my back fat, my body freckles and my cellulite, my scars, the way my body curves and my hair untamed - and decide that my natural is unnatural. My fear is that someone will see me vulnerable - when I’m longing for their smile, their affections, their touch, their attention, their stories and opinions, their time - and call my love ‘desperation’. My fear is that someone will hear me speak - listen to my story, my cultural views, my beliefs, my feminism, my passions, my pain - and confuse me being informed with me being talkative. My fear is that someone will see that my true colours aren’t beautiful at all.

watercolour