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pairing: maknae line x reader
summary: jungkook wags his tail and his eyes look like truffles. jimin drinks blood out of juice boxes and bendy straws and tries to wink but ends up blinking both his eyes closed. taehyung likes the ocean and all kinds of art and apologizes to rocks. you don’t know if they want to take you out the date way or the assassination way and somehow you think it’s both.
genre: werewolf!jungkook, vampire!jimin, hybrid!taehyung, witch!reader; crack (lmao); humor (??); poly!au (in the future!)
a/n: this is entirely self-indulgent. this will benefit no one but me and will have 3 parts. thank u
This kind of patience better earn you a great seat in heaven, you think offhandedly.
“Please help me! The test was only announced today and I don’t have much time, I need a potion that gives me photographic memory!" Says a desperate looking girl, hands clasped together as she repeatedly whispers a mantra of pleases under her breath, as if worried she’d push you over the edge if she were to say it any louder.
Little does she know she’s, metaphorically speaking, already pushed you. Hard. With no remorse. Probably followed by a series of stabs to the back.
"Please, I would do anything!" She looks frantic. The only time you’ve seen her unclasp her hands was to pull desperately at her hair. She’s pretty, you’ll give her that, the kind of pretty that makes people more easily soft and influenced to her desires. But you’re no sucker, and you’re certainly not soft.
"Anything?" You whisper, leaning forward a bit. She nods, hope pooling in her round, pretty eyes.
"Anything!" You’re not really used to people interrupting you during your free time. She at least has the decency to keep her voice down in the library, but you have a feeling the librarian and usually easily irritable students would easily succumb to her puppy dog eyes and let her scream all she wants.
You don’t tell her that there is no such thing as a potion for photographic memory. You don’t tell her that, even if such a thing were to exist, it would have drastic long-term side effects. As in, death.
"Anything anything..?" You lean forward a bit more, the female eagerly mimicking the action. You stare into her pretty eyes, the honey gold of her skin. ”…even study?“
The female deflates, shameful as she twirls at a strand of her hair. This girl is just one of the many reminders on why you should never have been known as the campus witch in the first place.
You also should have just stayed in bed, despite the uncharacteristically calm day you’ve been having. You should have slept through your subsequent assignments and uncountable morning classes; but Jungkook had pulled the sheets out from over your head that day almost knowingly, reminding you how much you’re paying for tuition. Curse that familiar of yours.
(Jungkook’s voice also seemed to be the one to coax you into giving the girl a discount on your widely known all-nighter potion; which really just mostly consisted of a monster and some ground coffee beans, but she didn’t need to know that. But you’re still definitely, definitely not a soft witch.)
