We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.
First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. āWe are not buying from Booths,ā I snapped. āGet on Asdaās website right now.ā His face froze.
āA-Asda?ā he whispered. āBut thatās whereā¦ The Lower Classes shop.ā
We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. āToast,ā he said.
āToast,ā I said. āGreat. Look, Asda has its own wholemealāā
āWarburtonās thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.ā
āYou WHAT?ā I choked. āYou have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?ā
He frowned. āWho doesnāt?ā
āOkay,ā I said, ābut what will the children eat?ā
He gaped at me. āThe children? We have children?ā
We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the childrenās lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. āYes,ā he agreed; āif we canāt even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.ā
He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. āNuh-uh,ā I said. āCanāt have ham. Iām vegetarian.ā
āYes, but weāre married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vegeāā
āOf course weāre married! Youāre devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?ā
He shook his head, frowning. āWell I want ham. Youāll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.ā
We continued. Finally, it was dinner. āOkay,ā he said, clearly thinking hard; āfor dinner, we can haveā¦ Chicken nuggets andā¦ Beans?ā
āVegetarian nuggets then. And beans.ā
āWe need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.ā
āYou and your children!ā he yelled, and the whole class looked around.
āTheyāre your children too!ā I screamed back.
He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. āI donāt believe it - I donāt believe you! I wouldnāt have your children!ā
āPlease,ā I cried, standing up also. āDonātāā
And he walked out of the classroom.
The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. āIām sorry,ā I whispered, ābut we couldnāt do it any more. There were just too many differences - I canāt live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.ā
I canāt wait to see this guy when he gets to university.
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