You either love it or your hate it. You’re scared to try it, but they’re doing it so you might as well.. I don’t have work until Monday, so why not. It can’t be that bad. But what if I do it wrong? I’ll look like an idiot. Oh is that it? I don’t feel any different, what’s the point of this? How do people get addicted? Maybe I’ll try again, it mustn’t have worked properly…Your heart starts to beat faster, you have so much energy and you feel so relieved, you’re suddenly less worried about all your problems. You feel so much more confident but you’re thinking I hope no one finds out I did this, it’s just a one time thing. Actually I don’t care what people think anyway. When’s it my turn again? I learnt to do it so quickly. Wait, where did it all go? There’s none left. Has it really been 2 days. What is sleep? My stomach is starting to hurt. I don’t remember when I ate last. It’s almost daylight, let’s go buy some food. My pupil’s are huge! There’s no colour in my eyes. I feel like everyone is looking at me. They all know don’t they. They know what I’ve done, they’re all judging. I’m not even hungry anymore, can we go home?
That was so much fun, let’s do it again soon.
I know it’s only a Thursday, but I wanna play?
It’s Wednesday, who’s coming over?
It’s Tuesday, I wonder if I’ve been paid yet.
It’s only Monday, I have no money but can’t I just get it now and pay for it later. I don’t understand how people can hate and judge this stuff so much, I’m only doing it for fun but this stuff is awesome. I’ve lost so much weight. If I really wanted to I could stop whenever I want, it’s not like I “need” it.
I have work in a few hours but I’m so tired, I haven’t slept for a week. Did you say something? It’s like I’m hearing noises. My sentences aren’t making sense. We are talking about one thing, but I’m daydreaming so when I speak I fully change the subject and you have no idea what I’m talking about.
I’m starting to hate this place, the people. I can’t believe I was ever friends with those users, I always shared it with them and now they want nothing to do with me. You honestly believe it’s their fault. You can’t work out what you’ve done wrong.
It’s not like I ruined their lives, mine’s still fine. Although I’m so over everything lately. Where did these feelings come from? Get rid of them, I want to be numb again.
You’re starting to realise.
I could have paid for a house deposit with the money I’ve wasted. It’s been 10 months, what just happened? Where’s my best friend gone, my boyfriend, my family, my savings? Why don’t my friend’s talk to me anymore?
This used to be fun. I’m slowly losing almost everything.
I keep calling in sick to work, I can’t deal with it at the moment. I never used to have aniexty. My OCD is getting worse. I can’t believe I nearly fell asleep driving.
You want your problems to stop but can’t work out how to fix them.
Imagine what it would be like to have a normal happy family. To have no drama. I want my old life back. It’s been 10 months and no one in my family have noticed, it’s so easy to hide.
You know you should stop but reality scares you.
What it’s like to be happy, or sad, or excited. because I don’t care for anything anymore.
You’re stuck wondering: What is the point of life? Who have you become?
At the start, you think you’ll be okay, you aren’t stupid enough to turn into that kind of person. You’re not seeing the tide, and then you get caught in a rip, there’s no one to help you out, everyone else is just carelessly, watching you disappear. Are you strong enough to get yourself out? You never thought this would happen to you, you’ve just worked out that when you can stop, you don’t want to - when you want to stop, you can’t.
gummygunk
kianamaiart
