request: @king--moosers requested sister!reader where reader is depressed and cuts and sam an dean find out but sam is better with the situation.
warning: cutting, talks about depression and being bullied, death, suicide, language.
You run to the bathroom, slamming the door  locking it behind you. Hot tears are streaming down your face as you look down at the text you just received.Â
Hey bitch, i bet your feeling a bit down today, but its your fault that hes dead.
It was the anniversary of your little brother, Adamâs, death. You decided to take him to the park just across the street from your house. You two were playing on the swings . You held hands while you swinging, Adam said it was more fun like that. You remember him squeling and laughing. You remember the cold air on your cheeks on the cold winters night. You remember looking away from your little brother for a second to look at the Christmas lights on all the houses.Â
And then his hand slipped out of yours and he flew back, hitting his head on a rock. It killed him instantly. You were screaming for help but no one was at the park, because it was Christmas Eve and everyone was inside having dinner or spending time with their families. He was only 5 years old, you were 12 at the time. It happened 4 days before his birthday. He would be turning 10 this year.
But heâs not. Because you looked away for a second. Youâd always blamed yourself. Soon after the accident your mother was too struck with grief and drove her car off a cliff. After that your father got drunk and disappeared, and was never seen again.Â
Your two older brothers, Sam and Dean, took care of you. Sam made you go see a therapist. You stopped seeing her 3 weeks ago because you couldn't afford it.
The pain in your chest was unbearable, and you wanted it to stop. You walked over to the sink and grabbed the razor next to you. You pulled up your shirt and sank the blade into your skin just above your right hip. Wincing at the pain but you did it over and over and over until you went numb.Â
A knock on the door made you jump, â(y/n), are you okay?â you tried to respond but your tongue wasn't working. Samâs voice came again, much more worried this time, â(y/n) are you okay, you've been in there a whileâ your vision started to go blurry as you heard Sam try the door nob, seeing that it was locked. âI donât know where you are but step away from the door.â And then Sam kicked the door down and saw you, bleeding and on the floor.
â(y/n)!!â Sam rushed to your side, tears running down his face. âNo, no no no no no, hey look at me. Youâre gonna be okay, itâs okay.â
You started to cry at your brothers tender words, âIâm so sorry, Sammy.â He pulled you into his arms and started rocking back and forth slowly. You looked up and saw Dean in the doorway, standing still as a statue, his face pale. âDean-â
Dean cut you off suddenly, âWhy- Why would you do something like this?â He sounded angry. Sam turned and moved toward Dean.Â
âDean, a word please? In the hall.â Sam quickly walked out into the hallway. You moved closer to the door to hear what was going on. You heard your brothers arguing.Â
âI donât see why she feels the need to-â
âGod Dean donât you see? Sheâs hurt, especially around this time of year.â
âBut.... I mean you saw it too........she-she was hurting herself. Donât be so naive and think this was her first time, Iâve seen other cuts on her. I thought they were just accidents, ya know, from hunting and stuff. But now....â Dean trailed off.
âLook i understand that youâre upset, but try to be a little more cautious around (y/n), Sheâs fragile, especially right now.âÂ
You heard Dean sigh and say he was going out for a beer. You shuffled away from the door, picking up your phone and reading the text one more time.Â
âHey,â a voice came behind you, âdonât look at that, itâs just a lowlife looking for trouble.â Sam said as he sat down next to you. He pulled a washcloth from one of the towel rungs and turned on the cold water of the bathtub. Getting the cloth wet he moved to your side dabbing softly. You sucked in air through your teeth and he apologized,
âNo, why are you apologizing? Iâm the one who is fucked up, itâs my fault that youâre doing this. Itâs my fault that Dean is probably drinking himself blind.â your voice got softer as a tear rolled down your cheek. âAnd itâs my fault that Adamâs dead.â
Sam shook his head, âNo, donât you ever say that again. It is not your fault. It was a freak accident.â
âI looked away for a second, Sammy.â you looked him in the eyes, âIâll never be able to forgive myself.â
Sam sighed, â when you were really little I used to watch you when mom was busy with things around the house. There was this one time that you were looking out the window, and you were playing with the blinds, trying to put them in your mouth.â He stopped and smiled. â It was really cute. And I remember there was a really good T.V. show on and I stopped watching you to watch the show, and you fell. You busted your lip pretty bad and I felt so bad. I ran to mom crying and you know what she said to me?âÂ
âShe said, âSam, itâs okay, it was an accident. But accidents happen on purpose, so you can learn from them.â â
You sniffed, resting your head on Sam's shoulder. âI miss mom.âÂ
âI know, I do too, and so does Dean.â He said as he bandaged you up, you yawned. âYou should get some rest câmon Iâll help you to your room.â He said, standing up and holding his hand out to help you up. You stood up, and then your knees gave out from under you.
Sam acted quickly and caught you, âHey now! Itâs okay I got you.â he helped you to your room and get under the covers. He sat down on the bed and you put your head in his lap. He played with your hair until you fell asleep,but before you did you heard Sam whisper, âI got you,â