Fire Emblem yaaaaaaas

[inkskinned]

Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.

At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.

At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.

“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.

The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.

I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.

I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.

I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht. 

I’m not worth the cost of a watch.

[officialstarscream]

there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the elevator

[mibunookami-blog]

see what intrigues me about college isn’t the intellectual pursuit or the bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do random shit like this

[haedia]

Okay, everybody, I have a story about random shit in college. When I was in college, there was a particular class I took where, no matter what time you walked into class, if you made it into the room before the professor, you wouldn’t be counted late. I mean, that’s a pretty cool policy, given how some professors are really obnoxious about attendance. 

Well, one time, a fellow student of mine was running late to class. As she reached the edge of the building, she saw her professor making it to the front steps (super long rectangular building here). He looks up from walking and he sees her. He then points to his watch, gives her a well-meaning “Look who’s late” face, and walks on inside.

What he didn’t know, though, was that this particular student was like freakishly good at bouldering and related climbing skills, so she was just like “Fuck it” and SCALED THE BUILDING!

She tapped on the window of the 4th floor classroom (the floors had like 20ft ceilings, so, she was quite a ways up there), nearly making one student piss himself. They opened the window, she rolled through, onto the floor, and slid into her seat about five seconds before the professor opened the door to the classroom. 

He did a double take, started to say “How the hell d—” when a security guard ran in, red-faced and panting, pointed at her and bellowed “STOP DOING THAT!”

[chandrar-nalaar]

omfg the amount of fucks college kids don’t give astounds me

[nicoleting]

IVE ONLY SEEN THIS POST IN SCREENSHOTS

[thesilencedmasses]

I LOVE THE IMPLICATION THAT THIS STUDENT HAS A REPUTATION FOR SCALING THE BUILDINGS

[cutepikachu]

[iamaleximusprime]

I had no idea there were transgender Pikachus.  XD

[pinkprincessrei-deactivated2020]

Reblog if u love and support her!

[mikkynga-deactivated20210728]

what? :o explain pls i dont watch pokemon 

[hexjackie]

Pokemon have physical differences between male and female. Pikachu is far less subtle in its gender differences. Females have a heart shape tip to their tail, while males have that v shape.

[guys-positivity]

Anyway here’s trans Pikachu.

[definite-human]

Reblog to support trans Pikachu and how happy she is about her new gender-affirming tail

[korrcsami]

you’re so sweet. thanks.

[shmoo06]

Expectation vs. Reality

[collegiate-confession]

im screaming this is so good

[6balls]

today @ lunch i was sitting w/ a bunch of my kindergarteners and they started to discuss what each other’s “deepest fears” were. one said “being killed” and the other said “loving people.” i was like y'all…….you didn’t have to be that honest

[trynsave]

[vygandonut]

[rollingstone]

3 sketches you have to see from this weekend’s Saturday Night Live.

[lealfeon]

rayquaza: it is my eternal duty to keep the peace and prevent pointless fighting between the legendary pokemon

deoxys: hi

rayquaza:

[gaypitbull]

Homophobia: Murder, corrective rape, conversion therapy, being disowned, losing your job, getting denied housing, harassment, etc

“Heterophobia”: being called a “straighty” on the internet.

[dontwantthenextcommanderiwantyou]

Racism: Murder, police brutality, corrupt criminal justice system, not being hired for a job you’re qualified to do, denied housing, racial profiling, hate crimes, etc

“Reverse Racism”: being called a “whitey” on the internet. 

[feministfront]

Sexism: objectification, dehumanization, restrictive gender roles, sexual violence, economic inequality, disproportionate allocation of unpaid labor, devaluation of anything seen as feminine, et cetera.

Reverse sexism: people selling “male tears” mugs on etsy.

[spirit-of-science]

Transphobia: Murdered, disowned, sexually assaulted, poor medical care, not allowed to use public facilities, not allowed in homeless shelters, can be legally fired from jobs or kicked out of housing just for being trans, etc.

Cisphobia: Down With Cis T-shirts

[gotitforcheap-deactivated201611]

[annunakitty]

WHY

[bumblequinn]

Jesus RIPPED the bread apart with his BARE HANDS and THREW it at his disciples like a FOOTBALL. “These are my righteous ABS, PECS, BICEPS, and GLUTES. I give them up to you, BROS….. no homo though”

[quichehound]

[sodiumpenta]

I groom one of these guys every week and he’s quite possibly the love of my life. We play a game called “brush, brush, kiss” because as long as I say “brushbrushbrushbrushbrush” he’ll stand nicely, but the second he gets impatient or I need a break I say “KISS” and he explodes into a ball of joy and kisses my entire face and anywhere else he can reach. It’s the best part of my week sometimes!

[quichehound]

Well this is the best possible comment on any photo ever.

[inahiddenplace]

ok but .. insulting someone’s laugh or smile is possibly.. the worst.. why would u try 2 make someone self conscious about the way they express their joy.. like ?

[lucatiel]

My Printer: ZZZZZZWZWZWZZZAAZWHHHHZZZZZAAZWWAAZKADJASKLJAAKSALFJSDKLJSDK

Me, afraid with tears in my eyes: Dont say that 

[destinyrush]

Louder for the cheap seats!