Whenever Shona pictured death it was a welcoming embrace. A cool, comforting hand that walked you through the veil and into the eternal slumber with a gentle touch. It was kind, peaceful and there was no pain, worrying or suffering, only a quiet darkness that let you drift away to what comes next. But she had been so wrong, so stupid, foolish and pathetic to imagine anything other than the pit of despair she'd been trapped in. Hell. That was the only word she could use to describe it, the darkness that fed off of her pain and then filled her with more to gorge itself. The noises of the town and voices of passing loved ones who were just beyond her touch, not knowing she was there. Not caring... not remembering? Just moving on in her absence, like she never mattered at all.
At first it had been difficult for Shona to distinguish between what was real and what had been a hallucination of her own mind. Memories and nightmares blurred into one never-ending loop of her life. Her biggest regrets, deepest fears, most hopeful dreams all banded together to tear her apart, piece by piece as she could only accept it. Accept the torture until it finally put her out of the misery, but the darkness liked her too much. It should have been obvious but it had taken her some amount of time to join up the dots in her head, this was no mental prison, this was a cursed existence, one she had been fighting her whole life. She should have recognized the pull, that feeling of intuition that had sat with her through her entire life, that the only way she was getting out of here was to fight it with every bit of repressed magic she had.
Shona had flirted with a few tricks and spells over the years, never anything elemental or powerful enough to break a hold like this, so sinister and hungry, leeching onto the world like a fuckin' parasite but she also knew she had to go home. That she couldn't stay another second in this hell hole, not when she had too many things to do before she died, too many people she'd learned to love. Too much to fight for even if she wouldn't be fighting it for herself. They didn't need her, but she needed them. In the enclosing darkness Shona pictured her home as clear as possible, the smell of Vitani's perfume, the sound of Zelda's laugh. The kid-like smile of Barrett when he got giddy, and the comforting drinks in silence with Luis. Slowly she sketched out a path to follow, the sound of a beating heart in the void.
As Shona mentally pushed on she thought of the Casino and her friends, expensive aftershave and the smell of cigarettes', a lush penthouse with a shared bedroom. Warm hands on her waist, whispering secrets in hallways, slow dancing in the foyer, green eyes staring into her soul and telling her everything would be okay. Oz. Her entire heart, her world, her salvation. Exhausted, she prowled through her fondest memories of them, the ones that clung to her soul and pushed against the restraining grasp that held her back, she was going home to him or she would die here trying. Something like a scream and glass smashing vibrated through her as she stumbled into a dark room-- her heart thundering against her chest. She was alive.
Squinting as her eyes adjusted from what felt like a lifetime in the dark, Shona's gaze settled on the familiar figure of Oz in the apartment, she wanted to run to him, to embrace him, and cry and tell him all the things she was too stubborn to say before, but instead her body stood frozen as she forced herself to call out to him. "Oz" she croaked, voice breaking with emotion "Oz! -- please tell me you can hear me-- see me even... tell me its really you."
