A long feelsy analysis of My tears ricochet solely focused on my favorite ship (Chuck x Lucifer w/Hellruins)
Starting with the obvious part: "Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe, all the hell you gave me?"
like, in relative terms of creation, Lucifer was, at the very least, very much young. He was just a boy having a tantrum, did he really deserve the penitence he was given??
"'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you 'Til my dying day"
I mean, we been knowing how much Lucifer loved God to do what he did, how highly he thought of Him, and that was his demise. His dying day being his fall.
a lil before the first line i talked about: "And if I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes too"
because we been knowing it's as much Chuck's fault as it was Lucifer's how high his ego was. Imagine being called the most beautiful angel on creation, His favorite, His most precious creation. Chuck's spoiling spoiled Lucifer, he didn't do it alone.
"And you're the hero flying around, saving face. And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?"
God making Himself the good guy, the hero that locked up the Devil, the most evil creature that wanted to destroy humanity, He made Himself the hero of humanity by 'killing' Lucifer. And yet through history, He continues to mingle with the devil, plotting, situations that end up with Him as the savior, as the good guy.
"'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave"
Lucifer was brave and strong and a powerful asset in Chuck's eyes during their fight against the Darkness. But the moment Lucifer rose up against Him, he was no longer brave. He was spoiled and a brat and childish. The irony.
"And I can go anywhere I want. Anywhere I want, just not home"
The pain of Lucifer obtaining "free will" at what cost?? at the cost of losing his only home, his siblings, his Father, the life he had known. He can do and go anywhere he wants, just not home. Never home.
"And I still talk to you (When I'm screaming at the sky)"
imagine all the times Lucifer cried out from the cage, begging Him to let him free, to save him, to forgive him maybe even?? And even after everything, after 'resigning' he'd still scream at the sky, cursing His name in the way He cursed him.
"You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same. Cursing my name, wishing I stayed"
The pain Lucifer felt during his fall wasn't only felt by him, it affected Him as well and it still hurts to have lost the one being He trusted most. And He curses him for breaking his trust, for leaving Him alone, for betraying Him and taking advantage of the fact that He loved him. the things Chuck would give to have Lucifer by His side again, but never at the cost of His own pride.
"You turned into your worst fears, And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain"
Chuck turned into a wrathful, sinful God. Into violence and pride, and blames everyone else but Himself. Because if he takes blame then it means it was His fault Lucifer is gone, and He can't have that. He can't admit His mistakes, because He's perfect and He doesn't make mistakes. It's the devil's fault, and will always be.
"Crossing out the good years, And you're cursing my name, wishing I stayed, Look at how my tears ricochet"
Chuck forgets about everything and everyone after Lucifer's fall. He abandons heaven, He abandons humanity and curses them to deal with a guilt that isn't theirs to bear. Ignoring He's not the only one in pain...
blakekathryn
tangentwithtanner
