gasoline

samita 'sam' parekh. 17. senior. i think there's a flaw in my code - these voices won't leave me alone. well my heart is gold and my hands are cold.

[senatoramidallas]

character aesthetic » the museum goer

“ real museums are places where Time is transformed into Space. ”

[samitaparekh-blog]

On a normal day Samita spent and hour, maybe two, practicing in the music rooms at school. Except for maybe a few sports practices, the school was empty, leaving only Sam and her cello - the way she liked it. In the middle of her piece, Sam heard the door squeak as it opened and then again as it closed. Thinking whoever’d come in had left, Sam continued to play until a cymbal was knocked to the floor and throwing off Sam’s rhythm. “Honestly?!” Sam whipped around, her displeasure clear as ever on her face. “

[hermionejgrangerrr]

[apparentlyaries]

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A song that everybody needs in their life

[heather-cohen-blog]

“Cool. I think- Yeah, I think that would be cool.” She tapped at the table absently, nervous energy pooling into her fingertips and making them dance. It was essentially what she wanted to hear, and she knew what she wanted to say next- if she could ever figure out how. “And maybe we could…” She started, before trailing off so completely it seemed for a moment like she’d given up. With a small sigh, she tried again. “Go see a movie sometime? If you’re into that kind of thing.” It felt very much like she was asking Sam out on a date, so she weakly added “Or food, maybe? Whatever. Friend stuff.” Friend stuff? Jesus. 

[samitaparekh-blog]

“It’s settled then.” Sam’s lack of outward emotion did no justice to how pleased she really was that she and Heather would continue their sessions. Part of her even thought that they’d become just as beneficial for her as they had for Heather. Frankly, Sam wasn’t ever sure of what was going to come out of Heather’s mouth, which was part of the reason she liked her, but she never expected anything like what she actually said. “Oh! Oh, thank God. I thought you were asking me out for a second and that would have been awkward. No offense.” Not that Heather wasn’t pretty but Sam just wasn’t...well, she wasn’t into anyone really. “Friend stuff...sounds good, yeah.” She nodded slowly, feeling out the words as she spoke them and, oddly enough, liking them. “I’m free basically always. So, you know. You have my number?”

[janellemnicole]

[samitaparekh-blog]

k-ovak:

“There’s gotta be real estate laws to help poor swindled fellas like me.” The word fella never fell from his mouth before, it felt odd and foreign– this play at friendly ate away at what Kovak knew best. “Mystery Girl Parekh.” The tall boy reached up, stretching til all joints popped and cracked. “What’s perfect, then?”

“You? Poor and swindled? I find that very unlikely.” Charm rolled off of Kovak like nothing Samita had ever seen before. Of course, that probably wasn’t saying much since Sam had the same amount of charm as a pet rock. The only charm Sam had ever acknowledged before this was Raj’s  it was impossible not to. Kovak’s charm, though, was something far more dangerous. “That’s me.” She held out her arms, twirling slightly back and forth. “Yo-Yo Ma performing the Prelude to Bach’s Cello Suite No. 1. You'd believe in perfection if you’d heard it.”

[samitaparekh-blog]

itsrajparekhbro:

The first week of school always, without fail, felt like a complete and utter waste of time. The freedom that came with summer was forced out of his lungs and replaced with the monotonous one foot in front of the other of school– all wrapped up in one choppy transition that left Raj restless. His bag lay untouched since he’d come home, dropped into its corner, and dug out his ps4 controller. Unfortunately, his phone was still somewhere in it when his text tone rang through the room. The boy gave his bag a considering look before tugging it out. 

Sam’s text drew out a small frown from Raj, whose eyes caught on the ellipses finishing off her sentence. And uneasy feeling settled in his stomach as his thumb hovered over the keys for a second. He decided against a reply, however, and instead pocketed his phone as he made his way down the hallway.His knuckles rapped against the door just once, then he poked his head inside, eyebrows immediately knitting together when she wasn’t found camped out at her desk.  

“Yo?” Without waiting for a reply– being a twin gave him some leeway when it came to manners, he slipped inside and flopped down on the bed next to Sam. “So what’s with the vagueness? There’s a question we can’t yell through the wall?” 

Before Raj even had time to poke his head into her room, Sam scoot over on the bed to make room for him. This wasn’t a thing she did - this restless, fidgety, unsettled thing - so she knew Raj’s twin sense would start tingling immediately. By the way he didn’t even bother waiting for her to welcome him in, she was definitely right. If she was being honest, it was one of her favorite things about their relationship - the ease with which they could communicate without ever saying anything. It grounded Sam in a way no concerto ever would.

She turned her head to look at her brother, snorting softly with laughter. “Not entirely sure I want mum to hear me shouting questions about boys through the wall. Too many questions I have absolutely no answers to.” Shaking her head, she looked back up at the stars on her ceiling. “But I wanted to ask you about Kovak?” A grimace flickered over her features as the name passed her lips. 

“Before you freak out, I only ask because he was hanging out by our curb the other day? And we had this really weird conversation.” Sam frowned at the memory, still not sure what to make of it. “I just wanted to know what you know about him.”

[samitaparekh-blog]

Normally, the organic sounds vinyl cello concertos soothed Samita’s nerves, but tonight the calming sounds did nothing for her. Not Bach, nor Vivaldi, nor Dvorak could keep Sam from fidgeting as she tried to focus on her pile of homework. It took her a while, but she finally gave in and grabbed her phone off the stack of books beside her bed. Her fingers darted across the screen mechanically, unlocking her phone and pulling up her messages. Without even thinking about it, Sam sent a message to Raj.

Sam: Come to my room? I have a question for you...

Absent minded, Sam tapped the edge of her phone against her palm. A creased formed at the center of her brow as Sam started to pace, waiting for Raj to show up. Ever since her run in with Kovak, Sam had actually felt a little guilty about not telling Raj about it. She was also still a little curious, which just made the whole thing worse. With a deep sigh, Sam flopped back on her bed and started counting the little glow in the dark stars she’d stuck to her ceiling as a kid until Raj showed up.

[samitaparekh-blog]

heather-cohen:

“Deal.” Heather replied, smiling wryly. She was grateful that Sam acted so casually, though it was clear the lens was important to her. Three months ago, when her mother had first informed her that she would be seeing a tutor over the summer, she hadn’t been expecting Sam. Despite her GPA, she had an effortless cool about her that was hard to respond to with anything but respect. Heather found herself looking forward to their meetings, sometimes even grasping what the fuck Sam was talking about. She was more than intelligent; she was wise. “Hey Sam,” She asked tentatively, “Do you think when school starts, I’ll still need… this?” She meant tutoring, but the word was thick with embarrassment and stuck to her tongue.

Sam shot Heather a small smile in return, a quick nod in a agreement paired with it. Their relationship was one Sam didn’t quite understand, but seemed to work for the both of them. The number of people Sam genuinely enjoyed being around dwindled, so she tended to do what she could to keep those she could stand around. Heather surprised Sam with her question, seemingly out of the blue. Shrugging, Sam regained her composure to answer. “There’s always room for improvement. You’ve come a long way, so that’s not to say you’ve still got a ton of catching up to do, but I don’t think they’d hurt.” Sam was infamous for her brutal honesty, but she tried to dial it down around Heather, for whatever reason. “Do you still want to continue our sessions?”

[sapphoisms]

[samitaparekh-blog]

persaephonie:

H A L S E Y || hurricane

[samitaparekh-blog]

@starparekh: birds and clumsiness never end well. #thatsgonnascar #roofkidproblems

[samitaparekh-blog]

k-ovak:

He looked at the tiny strip of asphalt, making a play at being wounded. “I think I’ve been robbed.” The boy’s smile curved upwards and he shrugged. “To be fair, I don’t actually know you very well either.” Kovak leaned against the bricks, feeling the way the surface bit through his clothing, sharp against his shoulders. “I’m content though, knowing they exist. Perfection’s boring.”

For the first time since walking outside Sam actually smiled - genuinely beamed. “All’s fair in love and war. Or something like that.” She shrugged, smugness practically rolling off her in droves. “Not going to lie, that’s the way I like it.” The less people knew, the better - it was how Sam lived her life and that wasn’t about to change any time soon. “Well, good. I did come out here with the sole intent to appease you. But I’ve got to disagree with you on that last bit.” Perfection was the goal. It was an impossible one, yes, but Sam hadn’t yet come to terms with that fact.

[samitaparekh-blog]

k-ovak:

“Too late,” Kovak said smoothly, crushing the butt of the cigarette into the wall to make sure the heat slipped away, tucking it into his pocket so that she couldn’t complain about his making a  mess. “A deal’s a deal, you’re now graciously on my front lawn.” He peered down at the pretty girl, already formulating how he was going to text his best friend about this encounter, but he shifted his weight before laughing. “Tell me about these flaws, let’s do show and tell of all the nasties.”

“Whoa! Hold on,” Sam shook her head, holding up a hand to Kovak. “I definitely didn’t agree to the whole lawn. You got the curb, the rest’s still mine.” The grin that had been holding Sam’s features turned to a grimace while she made a ‘tsk’ sound. “I don’t think so. One. I still hardly know you, so I’m not airing all my dirty secrets to you. Two. If you think I’m one to show and tell all of my nasties, you might need to rethink who you’re talking to.”

[samitaparekh-blog]

gracie-vallejo:

She ignored Sam’s obvious disapproval, shrugging it off with another wide smile. “Pinky promises are basically legally binding, you’re in for a treat.” She started down the street, almost bouncing with excitement. “That wasn’t part of the bargain. This is going to sound rude, but how much change do you have one you? I’ll totally pay you back I just don’t want to end up short, you know?”

“Ooooh, goodie.” Sam’s eyes rolled as she began to drag her feet down the street next to Grace. Raj was honestly so lucky he was her only sibling and that she loved him as much as she did, because this was truly ridiculous. “Of course not. That would be too easy.” She sighed, eyes narrowing at Grace when she asked how much money Sam had on her. “Enough to not worry about being short. What do we even need it for?” At least they weren’t stealing anything. Not yet, anyway. “And yeah, you’re definitely paying me back.” She tacked on the last comment as an after thought. 

[samitaparekh-blog]

task one || haunting

A thin sheath of dew had settled on Samita’s skin, raising goosebumps all over her body while the cool morning air chilled her. As she stretched her arms and legs, Sam realized she’d fallen asleep on the balcony...again. This was going to make the third time that summer she’d fallen asleep searching for stars or watching a meteor shower, which wouldn’t be so bad if she didn’t wake up with stiff limbs and a neck that wouldn’t move. As it were, Sam’s left ear left like it was permanently to her left shoulder and she couldn’t shake the chill that had set in. 

The uncharacteristically cool morning air had Sam up and in the house in no time, shivering as she walked into the kitchen. As usual, she paid no attention to the tv in the living room as she made her cup of tea - it was damn near impossible for Sam to act even remotely human before she’d had at least one cup, if not more. 

This morning, though, about halfway through her cup, the phone rang and she heard her mother drawn in a sharp gasp. Her mother’s gasp gave Sam pause, but it wasn’t until she heard the sniffling from the living room that Sam actually got up and went to see what was wrong. Bad things happened all the time, Sam knew that and understood it; or, at least she thought she did. But seeing her mother in tears, gripping the phone so hard her knuckles had turned white made Sam’s stomach lurch with a fear she didn’t know was possible. 

“Mum? Mum, what’s wrong? What happened?” She dropped down on the couch next to her mother, taking the older woman’s hand in her own. Her mother just shook her head and nodded towards the tv, which Sam quickly assumed was relaying the same information the phone call just had. Reaching for the remote, Sam turned up the volume so she could hear the details. 

It was horrible, but as soon as Sam heard that Emily Burke was missing, she let out a sigh of relief. She had nothing against Emily - in fact, she hardly knew the girl - but for a fleeting moment, Sam imagined every horrific and terrifying thing that could have happened to Raj or their father, or anyone they were close to honestly. Instead, it was a classmate that Sam was sure she’d hardly ever said two words to; someone she had no idea as to who they truly were. That made the news just the smallest bit harder to swallow. 

Missing could mean any number of things and, though some were horrible, others not so much. Sam wouldn’t blame Emily for running away. Hell, half the town wanted to run away. If that ended up being the case, good for her - she got out. It if wasn’t, though...well, that would be a different story entirely. 

Sam used her free hand to pat the top of her mother’s in consolation, “Want me to make you a cup of tea?” This was different for her and Sam knew that. There was no way Sam could understand the fear of having a missing child, but her mother could which was why this was so much harder for her than it was for Sam. 

At her mother’s nod, Sam gave her hand one last squeeze and pushed herself off the couch and moved back towards the kitchen. This time, though, a dreadful cold feeling that had nothing to do with the temperature washed over Sam, and it would stay with her the rest of the day. Even as she put on the kettle and finished the last of her lukewarm tea, Sam felt an uneasiness that told her Emily Burke’s story wasn’t going to have the happy ending everyone was surely hoping for.

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If I Stay Soundtrack - Cello Concerto in A Minor, Op. 33