my favorite boy turns 24 today so im gonna list off a couple of things i love about him 🫶🏻🫶🏻
•his passion: you can both see and feel that he puts his absolute all into playing, there is never a time where he isn’t putting his entire heart out there. i especially love that his passion for music has led him into producing, something i think is so cool.
•how smart he is: sammy knows a lot of little facts about the most random things, which i think is so cute. and it’s no secret that he loves space, but he also loves robots and plants too <33 (i also think it’s super impressive he was getting letters from harvard and yale)
•how carefree he is: sam is NEVER afraid to be himself whether that means walking the streets barefoot or being shirtless in the rain outside a bar. he possesses such a child-like, free energy that he changes for no one and i admire that so much.
•how sweet and attentive he is with fans: his reputation of being a sweetheart makes my heart soar. calling fans lovely, always saying he’d love to take pictures and making everyone feel comfortable to approach him is one of the qualities i admire most about him.
there are a million more things i could say about him but we’d be here forever. overall i just love and admire him more than words or pictures could ever express. i hope he has the greatest birthday filled with love surrounded by those he cares about. happy birthday my sweet sammy 🥺🤍
it’s been a while since i’ve posted on here but today is a very special day so I had to come on to wish my very special and dear friend a happy birthday!! i love you to pieces kwisten and i hope you have the best day (this is a real pic of her and sam) @ascendingtostardust 🤍🤍
some people are so unnecessarily mean and rude to sam for literally no reason. AND sam lane too. if any of us said half the things people say about sam, it would be the end of the world. sam makes us happy, just like josh, jake, and danny make you happy. but when we speak up when people shit talk him, we're "annoying" and "overdramatic." it's honestly so frustrating seeing people talk shit about and look down on the person that brings you comfort. sam is a valuable asset to the band and so many people pay him dust. he has an instagram for his dog, his favorite place is his garden, he's so passionate about music and loves art, and this is the person that you have "one-sided beef" with? i don't care if i get called annoying or overdramatic for this, i'm just simply so tired of seeing people talk like this about someone who brings me and so many other people joy.
I love how the dude went in for a traditional Bro-one hand/arm hug and Sam was like fuck that I’m draping my arms around you and burying my face in your neck, ya feel? instead 🥺
thinking about the time when an interviewer said he was an adele skeptic and sam goes “you don’t think she’s real?” funniest shit he’s ever said to this day.
Friday crawled by at a snail’s pace. You normally hated Fridays. The campus was always buzzing with so much activity on the weekends, and it made it hard for you to focus on your studies. Saturday and Sunday were the days you would reserve for working on big projects, but it was difficult sometimes when every other dorm room in a 100-foot radius was blasting music. Part of you felt like a grumpy old man, wanting to go bang on doors and shout turn it down! A smaller, quieter part of you was envious of those who had the time, and friends, to party.
You dragged yourself over to the dining hall after class, your mind filled with thoughts of the party you’d be going to tomorrow. It gave you butterflies to think about it. Meeting new people wasn’t something you were great at, nor enjoyed, and big parties were far from your favorite thing. You stared at the sky, the clouds brushed a gentle pink as the sun set, and wondered if it was too late to cancel.
The dining hall was something you typically avoided if you could help it, preferring your microwaved noodles over any of the slop they served there, but you’d been a bit burnt out on the styrofoam-y taste of chicken-flavored cup noodles lately. You managed to find a quiet corner, and sat down with a tray of the few things in the place that looked edible.
Across the room, you watched a group of jock-type guys make their way in, shoving each other and laughing. One of them locked eyes with you, and you quickly turned your head away and pulled out your phone, opening whatever app came up first, trying to look busy. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw someone making their way directly to where you were sitting. You’d been hit on at this god-forsaken place more than once, and it appeared it was about to happen again. You sighed, and turned your eyes up to the potential suitor.
You blinked a few times. Of course it was Sam. Why did it always have to be Sam?
“Hey!” He called.
You gave him a wave and a small smile, not really in the mood for this right now. You just wanted to eat in peace, but that would have to wait, as he pulled out the chair across from you, dropping his tray onto the table and sitting down.
“I’ve never seen you here before.”
“I don’t usually partake in the unholy abominations they serve here.”
He laughed, holding up a slice of utterly unappetizing pizza he had on his plate. “What, this doesn’t make you hungry?”
“Not exactly.” You picked at what was on your plate, wishing you’d simply settled for noodles tonight.
“You excited for tomorrow?” He asked between bites.
You put on a brave smile, lying through your teeth. “Totally.” You wouldn’t describe your feelings as excited, necessarily. Terrified was more of the word you were looking for.
“It starts at, like, 8. I think. I dunno. I’ll let you know.”
You nodded. That was somewhat good news – you could use the I’m tired excuse after only an hour or two.
“What should I wear?”
He shrugged. “Whatever you want.”
“What are you wearing?”
“Oh, I got this, like…vintage sweater thing I wanna wear.” His eyes lit up, clearly excited about it. “It’s blue and brown and it's got all these cool designs on it, and it’s so comfy. I love it.”
You couldn't help but soften up a bit, seeing how excited he got over something as simple as a sweater. He was so enthusiastic when you asked him where he got it, going on a tirade about all of the thrift stores in town while you ate and listened, and he told you all about how they had so many hidden gems if you knew when to look.
“I should go to some of them some time.”
“Absolutely! I’ll take you there!”
He was so sweet sometimes it was almost annoying. “That sounds fun.”
“Yeah! Like, a little thrift store date.”
Cold silence froze the air between you two, his smile fading, your face prickling with a rising blush. Date.
“I mean, not like that. I meant like, friend date. Not date. Just going to thrift stores together. Like friends. Are we friends?”
There it was once again, that rushed, frantic tone he got when he was flustered.
“Yeah, we’re friends.”
He didn’t seem to know what to say back, looking out the window and back to you a few times, silent. You needed a cigarette.
“Well,” you sighed, standing up from the table. “I’m gonna go smoke.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, then. I’ll text you.”
You’d half-expected him to ask to join you, a little surprised he didn’t. Maybe even a bit disappointed. “See you then.”
It was starting to feel like you couldn’t have a normal interaction with him. Every time, it was something. Though, seeing him tonight seemed to wash some of your worries away. He was kind, and from what you knew about him, he seemed like a good companion to have at a party of strangers.
Sleep came easily that night, thankfully. You drifted off peacefully, finally exhausted from the week before. And in your dreams, you found yourself in a familiar place. If it was possible to get deja vu in dreams, you were feeling it.
You were at the top of a skyscraper in some city you didn't recognize, the wind blowing hard enough to throw you off the edge, but you didn't move. The sky was clear and full of stars, galaxies streaking across the blackness and lighting everything in a delicate purple.
Sam was next to you, pointing at the sky, saying words that were carried away on the wind, but somehow you knew he was explaining the stars to you. He would point at a section of sky and it would glow, as if he held dominion over the stars. Like he told them when to shine.
And then, you were in a dorm room, similar to yours but not quite right, the layout was all wrong. You laid on a bed that was too big for a dorm, and just above you, Sam was there. His face hovered just above yours, his hair hanging down to brush the sides of your face. You knew he was going to kiss you, and you welcomed it gladly, your body melting into his. He was made of warmth and light, and love, so much love.
* * *
Your eyes opened to daylight, the dream ending abruptly, leaving you disoriented when you finally came to your senses. These dreams were starting to get ridiculous. He wouldn’t leave your head, even when he wasn't around. You put your mind to work immediately to push any thoughts of him aside, getting out your laptop and starting up your to-do list for the day.
The minutes ticked by slowly, your eyes always watching the clock, waiting for a text from him, dreading the night ahead. I’ll show up to be kind, have one drink, and disappear. Nobody will even notice when I leave, you thought. Though, nothing seemed to be that level of straightforward around Sam.
You successfully kept yourself preoccupied, until you decided to work on your joint project. He’d written quite a bit since the last time you looked at the document. It was endearing, like you were getting a glimpse into a part of him very few people knew. His style was brutish, getting his point across in as few words as possible, with the most blunt language he could muster. It was cute, in a way.
Time seemed to speed up while you occupied yourself, and before you were anywhere near ready to do so, it was finally time to get yourself ready for the party. You did so in silence, working the party over in your mind. It wasn’t too late to cancel. But you couldn’t do that to him. You imagined how his face would fall when you would tell him you couldn’t go anymore, and it broke your heart a bit. You wouldn’t do that to him. Not after that dream you'd had.
Your phone buzzed in your pocket, knocking you out of your thoughts. Sam’s name was on the screen.
leaving soon, you ready? he’d sent.
ready when you are
You took one last glance at yourself in the mirror, memories of your dream from the night before washing over you once again. Staring into your own eyes, you willed it away, pushing the memory down to the deepest recesses of your consciousness until it was lost with all the other thoughts that wandered around in there. You could not possibly face him with such a dream still knocking against the forefront of your mind.
When you finally met Sam on the first floor, you were a bit taken aback at just how…nice he looked. He was wearing the sweater he’d told you about, the patterns and colors complimenting his features perfectly. He had on a faded pair of jeans with a few square patches of fabric sewn into them – one with an elephant on it, another with a detailed drawing of a star. His hair was down, flawless and glossy as always. He gave you a toothy grin when he saw you, his eyes briefly running up and down the length of your body.
“You look nice,” he said, the words catching in his throat a bit.
“Same to you,” you replied, trying to keep a level head with his words repeating over and over in your mind.
“Thanks!” He looked down at himself. “I made these myself,” he motioned at the jeans. “Well, I didn't, like, make them, but I found these cool patches and put ‘em on.”
“You can sew?” You asked, a bit surprised.
“Of course I can. My mom taught me when I was a youngin.”
The thought of him sitting in his dorm, delicately sewing patches onto his jeans, was almost too much for you to bear. “Wanna get going?” The daylight had already long faded from the sky, the few stars obscured by a blanket of clouds.
“Absolutely, miss eclipse.”
“Don’t call me that, cornball.”
“Missus eclipse? Ma’am?” He cocked his head to the side.
You rolled your eyes, biting your lip against a smile. The things he said, coming from any other person, wouldn't even solicit a grin from you half the time. But something about him…you couldn’t help but laugh at every one of his jokes. “Let’s go already.”
The two of you made your way out of the hall and out into the night. There was a surprising number of people out tonight – though, that was only your perception. You didn’t leave the dorms much on Saturday nights if you could help it. Too much commotion, too many drunk men. Walking with Sam felt safe, though.
You made light small talk as you walked, discussing things like the coming winter, how you’d heard it was going to be a pretty bad one this year. You’d expected to feel more nervous at this point, but your body and mind both felt rather calm; as calm as they could be in Sam’s presence. There was something about him that radiated calm, like a lit fireplace or the smoke from incense. Walking with him, even in silence, felt right in a way you couldn't place. And between words, you imagined how it would feel to hold his hand as you walked.
