wayward hunter @sanctificd-blog - Tumblr Blog

themisfortunateson:

Even as she answered him, he couldn’t help but notice the distant look in her eye. Her mind seemed to be elsewhere and while he couldn’t exactly blame her, it made him feel more like a stranger than a son. “I’m not sure. That’s what I was actually hoping to ask you.” Clasping his hands together in his lap, he focused on the way that they intertwined instead of the inquisitive gaze that was suddenly staring him down. “I know that since you’ve been back, you’ve been going through a lot… and I get that. It’s hard. So much has happened since you were taken from us and not all of it makes sense…”

He didn’t need to look at her to know that he was rambling. Granted, he felt a little nervous about what he wanted to say, but that was no excuse. He needed to get to the point. “I just couldn’t help but notice that you seem more comfortable speaking to me when Dean is around.” He drew in a short breath before looking back up at her. “I don’t expect us to have this super strong bond or anything, but I’d like to get to know you better. We both missed out on a lot over the years and I’d like to start over. That way you’ll have more to know of me than just a memory of how I was.”

She paused as he spoke, listening to him. He wasn't wrong, she was more comfortable around Dean. It didn't come down to playing favourites, it was the simple fact that she had had more time in the past to bond with Dean. Sam had been a baby when she had died, she hadn't even known his favourite colour. She took a deep breath as she offered a slow nod, trying to hold back what she wanted to say.

She knew Sam wasn't attacking her, she knew he was trying to reach out to her. She was his mother, a mother he had only ever heard about or seen pictures of. She was someone he couldn't possibly love, someone he didn't remember, and yet he was sat in front of her reaching out.

❛ When I first looked at you, I fell in love with you. You were the sweetest angel I'd ever seen. You never cried much so when you did, I knew something was wrong. I remember the way you used to hold my finger when I'd feed you or how you used to look at me. I just remember holding you and I never wanted to let you go. ❜

She paused for a moment, glancing away from him. ❛ But now I look at you and I know you're my baby, but I've missed everything. I don't even know your favourite colour, and before you answer flannel isn't a colour. I don't know your favourite food or if you ever fell in love. There's so much I want to know, ❜ but she didn't want to let him down. She didn't want him to have a picture of her, imagining her to be some great person when she far the furthest from.

❛ I want to get to know you, I want... Christmas with my boys. I want a lot of things. I just don't want you to think you have to force yourself. I mean, I don't know where we'd even start. Hi, I'm Mary. I've loved you since the day you were born. ❜

#themisfortunateson #i have no idea what she's doing.#i haven't slept yet.

continued from x

The last thing she had wanted was for her boys to be raised into this hunting business like she had been. She had wanted them safe, she had wanted them happy. Something that was rare in the life of a hunter. She had never wanted them to witness the things they had, to sacrifice their lives for the sake of others. She had wanted them to have a backyard, to make it to college, to grow up never knowing monsters existed. She had wanted her children to be children, and not soldiers. Falling in love with John, a man who knew nothing of the supernatural had been her once chance to get away from the life she had known, he had been her salvation.

Mistakes were made, a deal with a demon. Mary had begun all of this, the finger should have been pointed at her. She had made the deal, she had saved John, and she had unknowingly sacrificed the lives of her boys, of John, of herself. She was the reason this had happened but she couldn't begin to admit it.

She watched him as he spoke, her face void of any expression, although there seemed to be a certain sadness in her eyes. John was barely the man she remembered him to be. He had aged whereas she appeared to be frozen in time, exactly the way he remembered her. Not only physically, time had its effect on him, her death had taken its toll on him, and she wasn't sure he was still the man she had been in love with.

❛ Does safe mean leaving them alone, leaving Dean to take care of Sam while you went down to the bar to drink? ❜

The words were spoken softly as she looked away, unsure of herself. She had heard things, stories, not only from the boys. She had been collecting pieces of her life, years that she had missed. She took a deep breath, unable to look at him for the time being as she tried to come up with the words she wanted to say. Mary was never at loss for words but with John, they escaped her. She didn't want to hurt him, she didn't want to fight with him. She didn't want any of this. Truth be told, she wanted her life back, the one she had years ago. The one where she could hold her baby Sam, or tell bedtime stories to Dean. The one where she'd be preparing supper for John instead of finding the next monster to kill. She wanted everything she couldn't have.

She was trapped in a time with a husband she no longer knew, and children she knew nothing about. She knew they were her family but there was a lack of emotional connection with them. Mary was lost, perhaps she was merely a shadow of the woman he used to know. The woman who wanted nothing to do with hunting now only found herself while hunting.

❛ Don't you dare put the blame on me, John Winchester. They deserved better than this, they deserved to be happy. I had left behind the Campbell name for a reason, ❜ she paused, her fists clenched by her side. He sounded tired, and she was getting angry. ❛ What mess did you clean up? I came back to a bigger mess than what you were left with. I came back to a family I don't even know, and even I can see how fucked up it is. ❜

#theirtales

will be getting to drafts this weekend, like for a starter. i'm back for the most part but work's a bitch until saturday.

#out of commission

theirtalesa

“i can’t forgive you for this.” - john v4

❛ DON’T DO THAT Don’t put all that shit on just me. ❜ Plea came in an almost desperate murmur. He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to argue with her. There was a time when John would’ve given his left and right arm to have his beloved back here with them. Had even considered making a deal himself if it meant holding her again. But their actual reunion had been nothing like he’d imagined it would be. IT DIDN’T EVEN COME CLOSE and that left him almost as devastated as he had been when he first lost her. This was the same person who used to be HIS EVERYTHING. The woman he’d vowed to spend forever with. Her death had been what inspired him to start fighting back and now it was almost as though Mary Winchester was a complete stranger. The shadow of someone he used to know.

An uncomfortable and stilted silence hung all around them. How much longer did she expect him to sugarcoat the hard truth? To hold him responsible for all that had gone wrong in her absence when both of them knew both parents were to blame. Both parents had made mistakes that affected Dean and Sam’s future. ❛ I NEEDED TO KEEP OUR BOYS SAFE. The hell else was I supposed to do? Build a white-picket fence around them? Serve up apple pie each night and wait until the Yellow-Eyed Demon came knocking for Sam? I knew he’d be back. I couldn’t risk them not being prepared to fight when that happened. This ain’t been the perfect life. I haven’t been the perfect Dad either, but I did the best I could. ❜ John didn’t sound as desperate when he spoke this time. He just sounded tired. Like an old man who had fought battle after battle and the last thing she wanted was to step into another with his no longer dead wife. ❛ It wasn’t the Winchester name that brought hunting int our lives. IT WAS YOUR NAME. The Campbell name. I’m just the one who got left behind to clear up the goddamn mess. I don’t want forgiveness and I’m not asking for it. I won’t apologise for teaching them how to survive. ❜

@sanctificd // STILL ACCEPTING.

#i need this here for safe keeping!

musiisms

Badly describe my muse in my inbox.

#meme.

sorry i haven't been around, but i'll be back shortly. miss you kids <3

#out of commission

sanctificd-blog

❛ ʸᵒᵘ ᵏᶰᵒʷ ᵗʰᵉ ʷᵒʳˢᵗ ᵗʰᶤᶰᵍ ᶤ ᶜᵃᶰ ᵗʰᶤᶰᵏ ᵒᶠ˒ ᵗʰᵉ ᵛᵉʳʸ ʷᵒʳˢᵗ ᵗʰᶤᶰᵍ˒ ᶤˢ ᶠᵒʳ ᵐʸ ᶜʰᶤˡᵈʳᵉᶰ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵉ ʳᵃᶤˢᵉᵈ ᶤᶰᵗᵒ ＴＨＩＳ ˡᶤᵏᵉ ᶤ ʷᵃˢˑ ❜

#promo #self promo #L O V E M E

beaniesandmachetes--a

The strangle holds, the insulting names, The wound up shirt around his fist, the nose to nose beer stinking breath. Thrown down onto the floor, so battered, bruised and sore Choke down on the truth of it, and touch it until you break your neck

Hell’s where I was born! Hell’s where I was raised, This hell is where I’m from and this hell is where I’ll STAY.

WRITTEN, CREATED, AND LOVED BY: SHANA

#promo #yassss

themisfortunateson:

“Mom?” He had been standing there for all of maybe five minutes, watching her and observing every small detail he could pick up on. The conflicted look on her face was one that was all too familiar to him. This situation… and having her back like this… it hadn’t exactly been easy. To her, they were virtually strangers, and he could sympathize with that. His version of her had only ever lived in the stories that Dean and Dad had told him, which wasn’t even much to begin with.

Carefully moving forward now, he pulled out the chair across from hers and took a seat. “Can we….” He took in a short breath, doing his best not to stare to openly at her. She looked so young. Younger than he had ever imagined her being when she had died. I mean, he had seen all of the pictures that Dean kept, but still… “Can we talk?” Ever since she had come back, he had gotten this feeling in his gut that it was harder for her to connect with him than she had with Dean. Dean had been four when she died, but he had only been a baby.

There was no relationship for them to build on because he didn’t remember her. Not even her voice. His heart was telling him that this was her. This was his mom. But his head was on the opposite end, questioning everything. Did she like who he had become? Was she proud? Or did she fear him, just like everyone else?

❛ Sam. ❜

The response was nearly automatic as she heard Sam calling her. Mom. It still felt strange, she couldn't quite shake the feeling but she knew she eventually would. He was her son, that wouldn't change. He was a lot bigger than she remembered him to be, but he was hers. She took a deep breath, a smile tracing over her lips as she continued to watch him. There was a struggle somewhere in the back of her mind, she had never really gotten to form a relationship with him. She had never gotten to see him grow up, to be there to kiss his scrapes and bruises or cook him soup when he wasn't feeling well. She had missed out on so much.

Of course, the same could be said for Dean but that was different. He was much older now, a little rough around the edges (like her), but she had managed to form a bond with him. He had been older when she died. She died. It was still strange to think of it.

Thoughts unfocused, skipping from one thing to another. She suddenly realized what Sam had asked and nodded. ❛ Sure, I wasn't doing much. Sit down, what's up? ❜ Her tone was gentle enough, spoken how a mother should speak to her child...but there was still something missing. ❛ Is something wrong? ❜ It was strange looking at her, she didn't look like a mother should. She appeared much younger, frozen in time and the same age she had been when she died. She looked like she could have been his sister, if anything.

#themisfortunateson

halfblessed:

❛ you hunt the monsters. ❜ it’s a matter–of–fact statement. sort of as if jack’s thinking out loud to reassure himself of the situation. mary is good, he knows this. he watches her hand, going cross-eyed for a moment before opting to simply look at her. ❛ that’s food? i am hungry. i would like one ❜

❛ Yes, I hunt monsters. ❜ She paused before smiling again, watching before she stood up. It was good to change the conversation considering he should have been one of those monsters, but he wasn't. He was still a child, still learning. He could be good. ❛ Yeah, a grilled cheese is food. You'll see, it's really good. Do you want to come help me make it? ❜

#halfblessed

She stared for a moment too long, taking the chance to look away before he really noticed. He looked vaguely familiar, did she know him? No, he only reminded her of someone. ❛ New around here? ❜

#beaniesandmachetes #smol starter for you #legit had no idea what to do but we can roll with this

❛ Can I help you with something? ❜ Brows furrowed as she looked at the man before her, body tense, caution easily read on her form. It paid off to be careful, especially in her line of work.

#paganturnt

getting to smol starters now, long replies will take a bit longer. sorry!

#out of commission

got a new theme, i'll be doing some reorganizing. also cleaned my follow list but mostly of people who haven't been active in forever. i'm about to watch the thing. LIKE FOR A SMOL STARTER IF YOU WANT.

#out of commission

hello favourites, drafts will be done tomorrow. i don't have it in me to write paragraphs right now BUT i'm around if anyone wants to plot/talk/love me

#out of commission