sentence starters inspired by bdylanhollis on tiktok
- “This recipe is making me cry, not the onions.”
- “I want to know who hurt this man.”
- “Are we sure this wasn’t written by a cat?”
- “That’s not food. This is a war crime.”
- “I ain’t plumpin’ my prunes in nothing, buy me dinner first.”
- “It looks like a failed grave robbery.”
- “How am I supposed to know how big your teacups are?”
- “Easy now, wouldn’t want to ruin a disaster.”
- “Why do dead people like dates so much?”
- “The slogan for this cookbook is ‘it’s digestible!’“
- “Here come the tears. Like my mom after a glass of wine.”
- “I didn’t know tuberculosis had a color scheme.”
- “On this episode of Dead White People.”
- “This is a misdemeanor.”
- “I think I’ve summoned something.”
- “What do you want me to do with this? Call the CDC!”
- “Add nut? How much?? I need nut instructions!”
- “It seems to have collapsed. Like the South.”
- “Are you still here? Dammit.”
- “I think this qualifies as a pre-existing condition. Unconstitutional!”
- “Alright, it finished a bit early. Like my ex.”
- “Do I call the police or a priest?”
- “I suppose it’s better than eating your offspring.”
- “Smells like Normandy.”
- “I should have gone to church.”
- “Lady, your cake has tomato soup in it, this is the LEAST of your worries!”
- “911, what’s your emergency? Yeah, that lady Carol is at the barbecue again.”
- “Sorry, I’m just trying to kill it.”
- “This is why we don’t perform lobotomies anymore.”
- “I bet this recipe is just all the wrong answers on a baking test.”
- “Not bad, dead people.”
- “It’s incredible. And I’m mad about it.”
- “Sir, your phone number is four digits.”
- “Divine is the kingdom.”
- “Well, I don’t have sorghum, because I don’t have a life expectancy of twelve.”
- “Sweetie, none of this is to my liking.”
- “Are you just making things up?! Who are you??”
- “I’ve never been particularly religious, but today might be the day.”
- “Have you lost the plot?!”
- “I feel like if I do this correctly, I’m going to invoke the spirit of Richard Nixon.”
- “This ain’t food, honey, this is a bioweapon.”
- “Tastes like an IHOP kitchen floor.”
- “Sweet, bitter, and meaty. Like my ex.”
- “I suppose any less, and it might gain consciousness.”
- “The seventies: sponsored by the color beige.”
- “Smells like a Palm Springs retirement home.”
- “Did you just kill my blender??”
- “Nothing makes sense anymore!”
- “Why are you good?? You have a bag of beans in you!!”
- “Honey, you can’t dilute a war crime.”
- “You know, it’s horrible now, but I hope it turns out okay. Like children.”
- “It tastes like it’s insulting me.”
- “This went downhill pretty quick.”
- “It’s like reading directions to Purgatory.”
- “THERE IS SO MUCH GOING ON.”
- “Welcome to the world. It’s awful.”
- “I’m a fool, not an idiot.”
- “Thought this was a joke. Turns out I’m the joke.”
- “You can use a mixer, I just do this to feel something.”
- “Or what? I’m gonna ruin your disaster?”
- “Can a cake be tried for treason?”
- “Either chocolate fixes everything, or this is alchemy.”
- “What exactly are we trying to raise up? Hope?”
- “What is it with dead people and their obsession with this?!”
- “If I cut off my feet, do we still have to do this?”
- “I suppose I wouldn’t mind it if I was in a coal mine. But in a coal mine I’m not.”
- “Celery’s just like your parents: dirtier than you think.”
- “What have you perfected, garbage???”
- “Which is an interesting idea, because it’s awful.”
- “Well, at least you specified the appliance, here I was gonna bake this in the dishwasher.”
tangentwithtanner
prguitarman
germansingergirl
janainaart
romaincrisis
ellievsbear
stormborns
