Rating the Madrigals on how likely I could beat them in a fight
Alma: 9/10. She’s an old woman and is very fragile, I could probably body her without hesitation. The only reason she’s not a 10/10 is because I would feel guilty about it. The reason she’s 9/10 is because I wouldn’t feel that guilty.
Pepa: 4/10. Once I land a hit I’ll probably get struck by lightning and end up fucking dead. Not a good way to go. If she didn’t have her gift I could probably get a few good hits in, but she seems pretty feral. Would try to tear my ears off.
Julieta: 7.5/10. I have fought both verbally and physically with people who love to cook on several occasions. As long as she’s not in the kitchen, I win this fight. Points taken off because if I hurt her Luisa will probably rip my spine out.
Agustín: 100/10. I swing on him. He dodges and tries to swing back. Somehow he punches a beehive instead. Victory is mine.
Félix: 5/10, he looks pretty hardy and honestly it would probably come down to who lands the first hit.
Luisa: 3/10. It’s likely that if I challenged her to a fight she’d refuse, and therefore I would win. But if I did fight her it would be over embarrassingly quick. She could tear a grown man in half, I wouldn’t stand a chance.
Dolores: 10/10. She seems like the type to try to pull hair during a fight which would leave her torso wide open, and her gift probably wouldn’t help her that much. Unless she can hear the punch coming, which I doubt. Also I could probably just yell at her and watch her crumble from how sensitive her ears are.
Isabela: 1/10. She’s definitely been waiting for a chance to go apeshit. Visualize this: I swing, I punch a cactus. Then she’s growing monkshood directly from my spinal cord.
Camilo: 5/10. Just like his father it’s likely going to come down to who lands the first punch, and if he gets like. The strength of whoever he changes into. If I land a hit before he gets to shapeshift, we’re good. But if I don’t and he turns into Luisa— welp. I’m dead.
Antonio: 1/10. I drop-kick the child and immediately get gored by a rhinoceros.
Bruno: 6/10. I wish this one was a 10/10. He looks like he weighs 100 pounds soaking wet. He looks like I should be able to hit him with the one two buckle-my-shoe and watch him go down like a sack of potatoes. But no. This motherfucker is agile, parkouring through the walls of Casita. And he was living with rats for ten years. He’d probably give me bubonic plague bc I know he’d bite me if I swung on him. Would I win? Probably, but it would be hard.
Mirabel: 3/10. I could probably very easily beat the shit out of her, but she seems like the type to never go down. She’s got endurance and is probably scrappy as all hell from growing up with no powers. Like when the person you’re roughhousing with can change shape, you fight dirty. She’d probably hit me with homemade pepper spray. She’d put a bucket on my head like I’m a Skyrim NPC then bash my kneecaps in. She’s unhinged.
Casita: 0/10. Motherfucker it’s a house??????? How do you fight a house????????????
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