Sanjana's Soul

of love , lies and my life 

[sanjanassy]

[sanjanassy]

[sanjanassy]

ON MY OWN

Being alone isn't lonely , I tell myself ,

Being on my own isn' t horrid, I tell myself ,

For all this world is done , is hurt my inner self

made me lie and tried to shape into someone else

Stripped down my pride and made me doubt all my steps ,

You're a little child , without any sense they said ,

Think not, so highly of yourself ,

For you can't change the world ,

With your little words they said .

Sanjana Singh Yadav

[sanjanassy]

FUN: ITS TOO MUCH WORK !

As my exams ended today , I decide to do something fun . I started off by writing a list of topics . I created a blog . All so that I could pursue my hearts desire - writing .

But now that I have created a blog, set aside a time and made up my mind to write . I don't want to write . It has suddenly started feeling like a drudgery. I'd rather watch you tube or surf on the net. This is the same sequence of events that take place every time I think of picking up a hobby .

I always think of picking up a hobby when my exams start. During this time I'm forced to stop procrastinating and study for long hours . The result - I start contemplating about life. I soon come to the conclusion that all my life I'll study , get a job, work all my life and that would be it . No excitement , no joy. As I keep thinking on this line, I end up at a dead end . Life has no meaning especially if I join the job I'm studying for .

Usually at this stage my mom notices that something is wrong with me and talks to me about it . She tries to comfort me by telling me her own life story and that her key to happiness is me .This knocks some sense into me and I try to find some joy in life .

My answer to this meaningless abyss is pursuing a hobby . This is what brought me here. But right now it feel like too much work .