anyhow unrelated to anything else i've ever said i might for real leave tumblr for real because being here sucks. there is nothing for me here. honestly i have thoughts about having this account for like you over 2 years with nothing to show for it. no friends no online presence. another waste of my time! another waste! i am genuinely disgusted half the time i think of people i've met on here and i don't know why. i think i just hate expecting something that i'll never have. everyone will disappoint me eventually. i will disappoint myself most of all. i genuinely hope this is the last post i make because i hate it here. i hate the spaces i've wedged myself into and the people i've tried to latch on to. i'm sure i could have and should have tried harder but christ am i tired. i wish it was easy. i really wish i had kept my mouth shut and i wish for something that will never happen. i wish people would change and i wish i could be interesting enough to care about. but i am, ultimately. i have people who care about me, they just aren't here. i have things i love, they just aren't here. i have things that will make me better, they just aren't here.
i'm like, fine. i'm not going to hurt myself. i just don't want to be on tumblr or be involved with any of y'all. probably not a huge loss for anyone. bye for now. hopefully for a long time.
