[buffysummers]

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997-2003)

[katerinapetrova]

DIANE GUERRERO as CRAZY JANE Doom Patrol (2019—)

[ozroemoved-deactivated20240513]

my mutual said this better but i feel like lots of ppl don't realize that part of the hatred towards lesbians is directed to our lack of attraction towards men. like obviously we're oppressed for liking women, but also because we don't like men which is seen as the ultimate betrayal in this patriarchal society. like i have literally directly experienced harm because i don't like men! and we need a word to describe our identity bc how else are we gonna talk about this experience

[lesb0]

the word for this alienating experience is actually compulsory heterosexuality!

[mikamikomiki]

this is definitely going to annoy some of you, but it's not meant to be an attack on anyone, just venting how I feel in the wake of all that's been going on lately, so please read it anyway

a lot of people are more content to stay quiet or refuse to take a hard stand on the "bi lesbians" issue, because you don't want to lose friends or whatever, and I get that! I really do! nobody wants to be disliked

but there's certain things where like.. you can't just stay quiet and pretend not to be involved, because that itself enables the people causing harm to keep doing it

which is honestly the main reason this mess has gotten as far as it has: the fact that nobody else, cishet or lgbt, respects what lesbians have to say, and the lesbian community is so small in comparison to the rest of you that even with the majority of us begging for allies, we are easily drowned out by the people who are hurting us and the people they have roped into it

so it's like... do you see all this? you're standing in the center of it, so I'd assume you're seeing posts from the other side, along with us begging for people to listen to why this is hurting lesbians

if you really, honestly consider yourself an ally to the lesbian community, then why aren't you listening to us? why aren't you standing with us, when that's what we're begging you for?

you don't even have to do anything difficult! just listen when actual lesbians speak, uplift our voices, and don't associate with those who are hurting us... that's it!

we just want allies, and to feel like people besides other lesbians actually love us for a change

if you're reading this and want to hear lesbians speak on why this is harmful to us, I have a whole tag full of nothing but lesbians speaking on exactly that! so please don't misinterpret my words, we've covered every argument people have thrown at us

[texaschainsawmasc-deactivated20]

I hate hate hate when people say things like “homophobes don’t hate us based on who we aren’t attracted to!” Tell me you have no empathy or understanding for the lesbian struggle without telling me. We are absolutely hated on the basis that we are not attracted to men it’s fucking blind to pretend otherwise

[love-for-lesbians]

#I’m so done with this arguement#lesbophobia is absolutely related to misogyny and being inaccessible to men#it feels like y’all ignore misogyny now for the sake of diving up its effects into new terms. but the reality is that it comes from misogyny

[terribledactyl]

“there’s too much butch representation in media” “straight people need to know that lesbians aren’t all butch” no, there’s too much lesbophobic butch representation in media. There are butches on tv, and they’re the villains. They’re the Miss Trunchbulls, the meaner cops, the shitty PE teachers. I want a loving butch-femme relationship where the “butch” isn’t just a thin girl with a pixie cut and skinny jeans. I want fat butches and bulldykes. I want disabled butches. I want butches of color. I want butch4butch. I want “making fun of straight people” butch-femme relationships, and I want the femme to actually be using femme lesbian signalling. I want butch heroes who aren’t just women cast in a man’s role. I want butches that straight audiences think are ugly. I want handsome butches. Maybe even some he/him or stone butches, but that’s asking for a lot from queer creators, much less cishet ones. And most of all, I want all of the hundreds of thousands of butches I’m asking for to be loving, kind, and gentle in the ways only a butch can be.

[star-princess-princess]

Femme as in protectors of studs, butches, and mascs.

[cheeseball6]

Those annoying fem4fems be like "OmG i WoUlD nEvEr DaTe A bUtCh, WhY wOuLd I dAtE sOmEoNe WhO lOoKs LiKe A gUy If I aM a LeSbIaN?". Ok then, more butches for me and the dykes who like them :)

[rodrickheffeley]

bless whoever is watching this scene for the first time and getting their trajectory of life changed

[stonefemblues]

hate seeing posts defining femme or talking about its significance to someone and its all about how empowering femininity is without mentioning butch once lol

[dykemyers-deactivated20221223]

Help

[theygender]

Being a nonbinary lesbian is like I don't have a gender but my gender is dyke and I'm not a guy but I am one of the guys and also I'm not a woman but when people talk about women I'm included. Hope this clears things up

[iapislazuli]

me when random people ask “but if youre a lesbian why are your pronouns they/them” or “how can you be a lesbian if youre not a girl”

[sapphosrph]

   stop calling lesbian characters ‘homosexual’ or ‘homoromantic homosexual’ when you mean lesbian. it’s okay to call lesbian characters lesbians.

[tulipfemme-deactivated20240718]

you’re not a femme if you don’t love, respect, appreciate, and protect butches. i don’t care if you’re exclusively femme4femme if you hate butches, or think their ugly, you’re. not. a. femme. you don’t have to date butches but you have to love them and protect them as they do us. there is no exception.

[pinkcarabiner]

you're also not a real femme if your love for butches only extends to sexual desire. you can't claim to love butches if you see them as sex objects who exist solely for your pleasure. butches are people first, and as femmes it is our job to respect them and treat them like people.

[rxdxct3d-deactivated20260301]

tags courtesy of @wrenchesabound

#fun fact but someone actually did research on this divide in understanding femme identity a few years back

#and the researchers concluded that there are two major groups:

#one group is femmes which are community oriented towards uplifting and supporting masculine sapphics regardless of partnering with them

#and the other actively distances itself from that and sees femme as purely an expression of ‘queer femininity’

#it’s a fascinating read and confirmed what I had been seeing for years and why there is such a divide

#because they literally are only seeing femme really as an aesthetic expressed in queer settings

#this probably isn’t a surprise to anyone reblogging this

#but it certainly explains why those of us in the first category feel that expressions of the later usually feel pretty defanged

#in terms of how the latter understands what femme is

#anyways if you don’t support butches and studs you don’t really understand what being a femme is

#regardless of your partner preferences

[goldxnfemme-deactivated20241112]

here's the article ♥️

thanks to @wrenchesabound for sending it to me a while ago

[dykecherry]

(do not) love how femme has become aestheticized to the point where low-income folks that can’t support themselves financially develop imposter syndrome bc they’re unable to relate to everybody else posting about their expensive self care products/jewelry/clothing and how it’s intrinsically linked to their identity

[angel-defiled]

Absolutely!! When we imply that femme is contained in the allure of a $50 manicure, long, straight or wavy light-coloured hair, and designer fragrances, it’s important to think.. who is affected by this? Who are we leaving out? I routinely see posts from low-income, black/brown, hairy, fat, disabled, etc. femmes questioning their own femmeness because they do not fit an ideal that’s often pushed here

At its core, femme is truly about a deep love for (and not just in the romantic and sexual sense) for butches, studs, AGs, etc., and the ability to relate to and find kinship with them. We have been community nurses & healers, archivists, activists, stand-in therapists, interim mothers and big sisters, we have housed & fed community members in need, we have mentored and educated... this is femme. It’s about a unique way of seeing and interacting with the world, the community at large, and especially with your femme and butch brethren.

Of course, it would be historically inaccurate and even a little absurd to claim that visually displaying your femininity hasn’t been a key part of femme identity for many femmes. But when we reduce this element to a shopping list of trendy “girly things” we are missing something crucial- our femininity is a powerful tool we employ, a concept we distort and bend to our will. We shift our interpretation of it as starkly or subtly as we need to. We do it to arouse desire in our lovers, to signal our desire for them as both fiercely passionate and deeply safe and healing, to navigate the world at large to survive, to help our lovers & community survive as best we can, to express ourselves and feel joy in our bodies, our sexuality, and our relationship with gender, and so more. This doesn’t look like “one thing” at all. If it did, it sure as hell wouldn’t be something you can buy, and for many femmes, it’s very far from “hyperfeminine”. It’s hairy, it’s fat, it’s stereotypically androgynous or even masculine, it comes with accessibility aids, it’s spitting on all that shit you have to do for johns/clients, it’s a makeup shade they don’t carry in the drugstore, it’s a hand-me-down skirt that someone’s been wearing for years.

it’s incredibly important to honour the expression and perspectives of femmes who are low-income, disabled, BIPOC, TGNC, and/or currently or formerly employed in sex work.. especially when many of the aesthetics & modes of flagging you’re using come from people who are/were like us.

[androgynealienfemme]

"I know what butch is. Butches are not beginner FTMs, except that sometimes they are, but it's not a continuum except when it is. Butch is not a trans identity unless the butch in question says it is, in which case it is, unless the tranny in question says it isn't, in which case it's not. There is no such thing as butch flight, no matter what the femmes or elders say, unless saying that invalidates the opinions of femmes in a sexist fashion or the opinions of elders in an ageist fashion. Or if they're right. But they are not, because butch and transgender are not the same thing with different names, except that butch is not a trans identity, unless it is; see above."

-"I KNOW WHAT BUTCH IS", Butch is a Noun, Essays by S. Bear Bergman (2006)