lover of butches

snail | 28 | they/them men, minors, transphobes dni i follow from bugslug

[dykescully]

dykes for trans rights quilt - sarah-joy ford

[mem-o]

[markovchaingang]

neoclassicvagina surgery. they add columns and whatnot

[butchlinkle]

if you say yuri fast it sounds like a joyous remark like yippee but if you say yaoi fast it sounds like you stubbed your toe yowieeee and this is why you should yuri post it will bring you joy

[n0turg1rlfr1end]

True dat

[doubleca5t]

It's crazy how many people use Death of the Author to mean "separating the art from the artist" when it's actually not supposed to have anything to do with who the author is as a person and is supposed to be about the idea that the author's interpretation of their own work should not be seen as the definitive, correct opinion on that work. Like you're not supposed to invoke Death of the Author when JK Rowling devotes her entire life and fortune to transphobia, you're supposed to invoke it when Trent Reznor says Closer by Nine Inch Nails isn't a sex song.

[probuccalfat]

stop asking what’s on my mind when i have that distant and faraway look in my eyes. it’s lesbian sex. again

[shamebats]

If T makes you gain weight and E and antidepressants do it too, and so does enjoying good food and not being hungry all the time, then perhaps maybe sometimes joy & weight gain come hand in hand and that's good

[tpwrtrmnky]

"Trans women are actually women for real, not in a metaphorical sense, not in a "anyone can be anything" sense, but genuinely actually make more taxonomic sense to classify in the category of women than any other group you could classify them in" is a position you'll find is pretty radical even in queer spaces

[taliabhattwrites]

I recently posed a question to my cis followers on Bsky about whether they could defend the idea that trans women are in fact women.

The overwhelming response was, while well-meaning, sorely disappointing and along the lines of "of course trans women are women, 'woman' is ultimately a meaningless category, you can be whatever you like".

It was such a profoundly sobering experience because I realized that most people have framed their conception of trans rights around owning bigots and dunking on them in arguments instead of an affirmative understanding of trans marginalization, a comprehension of the struggles we face in a cissexist, patriarchal society, or even a basic familiarity with how we are seen and regarded and treated institutionally.

'Woman' is not a meaningless category in a patriarchy. It is a positionality, one that trans women undoubtedly occupy, and most cis people--even allies, even the ones who believe they want to do right by us--do not fundamentally accept the premise that we actually inhabit this position and navigate society as women.

It's an epistemic chasm I don't quite know how to cross, which is unfortunate as I've inadvertently dedicated my life to doing so. Ascertaining just how wide that gap in understanding is was alarming, if necessary.

To cis readers, all I can say is that if you only think trans women can be women in a world where the word 'woman' holds no meaning, you're more aligned with the Gender-Conservative position on us than you think. You might want to unpack that.

[atyourservicetop]

that dorky butch will not only save you but will cherish you for everything that you are fyi

[postcanongirl-deactivated202601]

"is harry potter fine if i pirate it" has done terrible damage to the tumblr understanding of boycotts - boycotts are not generally attempts at erasing something from the noosphere. if someone plays a copy of minecraft they've already installed or uses a Dell laptop they already own that isnt like, a compromise of morals. the reason trans women dont swallow "is harry potter fine if i pirate it" is because the backlash against HP isnt a fucking economic boycott

[postcanongirl-deactivated202601]

BDS isnt calling for people to destroy their xbox 360s they're trying to organize a concerted effort to economically pressure Microsoft into dropping collaboration with the IDF. transfeminists are calling for a total removal of harry potter from popular culture - these are not the same goal and have importantly different involved tactics!

[skineater1998]

"Fat Top/Switch" by Emilia Phillips

[homoidiotic]

Dog marching in support of the Homosexual Law Reform Bill. Wellington, Aotearoa (24 May 1985) photographer Ross Giblin

[wrenchesabound]

Increasingly disturbed by the number of posts going around from younger/“new to being femme” femmes posting about “traditional dynamics” in OFOS butch/stud-femme relationships that also talk about being housewives with provider butches. This is in fact not the traditional dynamic. In the era you are seeking to mimic, butches and studs regularly encountered significant employment discrimination (and frankly a lot of them still do in certain fields!) They were regularly out of work, so their femmes used their relative “straight passing” privilege in that era to hold down whatever working class (both office jobs and typically blue/pink collar jobs) they could find to keep things afloat. This is why it’s important to remember that our roots are in working class culture and solidarity, and why these identities are so much more than aesthetics and who we’re partnering with. They’re community based roles. We are in community to support each other.

Butch chivalry is not defined by ability to provide. OFOS femme behaviors are not based in the idea that we are meek house wives. OFOS is a dance in how we treat each other in our relationship, and it is not based on relative job/not job status.

There are butches and studs who cannot work or are underemployed who consider themselves OFOS. They are no less OFOS because they cannot “provide.”

Femmes who earn more are no less OFOS/traditional than those who are housewives. Femmes who CANNOT work, including meaningfully keeping a home as a homemaker, are also no less a traditional/OFOS femme.

My last thought here (as a 34 year old, disabled, OFOS femme in a 15 year+ relationship, who is not an elder but is experienced in being in an OFOS butch femme relationship) is that there is nothing more dangerous as a young person in these spaces than being completely dependent on one person. You need to be able to leave and take care of yourself if your partner turns out to be toxic or abusive. You need to have your own money if something happens to your partner or they leave you. Being able bodied is not inherently a permanent status for you or your partner, and you need to know how to provide for yourself (via accessible employment or access to support services) in order to ensure your own safety and future. If your “traditional” relationship actually looks like a high control situation, then that’s not OFOS, it’s financial abuse. Please take care of yourself.

*This post is about a dating/relationship subculture from lesbian/sapphic relationship contexts and should not be taken out of that specific context, especially since folks outside the community have historically talked about this dynamic imitating heterosexuality when it very much does not for pretty specific reasons. Also this user supports transfem lesbians who identify with this subculture, and this is not a terf safe post.

[astralprogesterone]

*billions <3

[gatheringbones]

[“Butch girls don’t play by the rules either, and I love butch girls. Girls with hair so short you can barely slide it between two fingers to hold on. Girls with slick, shiny, barbershop haircuts and shirts that button the other way. Girls that swagger. Girls who have dicks made of flesh and silicone and latex and magic. Girls who get stared at in the ladies room, girls who shop in the boy’s department, girls who live every moment looking like they weren’t supposed to. Girls with hands that touch me like they have been touching my body their entire lives. Girls who have big cocks, love blow-jobs, and like to fuck girls hard. Every day, it is the girls that get called Sir that make me catch my breath, the girls with strong jaws that buckle my knees, the girls who are a different gender that make me want to lie down for them.”]

tristan taormino, from this girl is different, from a woman like that: lesbian and bisexual writers tell their coming out stories, 2000

[stonefemblues]

i always need to take a shit when i’m in the middle of painting my nails. couldn’t you have told me earlier you stupid digestive system